30 things NOT to do or need to know at Hogwarts
Insult Albus Dumbledore
Let Hagrid convince you he's a good cook
Remind Harry that his parents are dead
Let Snape grow a mustache (see Potter Puppet Pals Mustache Buddies on YouTube)
Fight a Hungarian Horntail. It may be the last thing you ever do
Play with Devil's Snare in a dark room
Let Fred and George convince you to try any of their products
Kill all the roosters if there's a Basilisk loose in the school
Use Puffskeins as bludgers
Have Gilderoy Lockhart be a Defense against the Dark Arts teacher (on second thought just keep him out of the school all together)
Let Hagrid convince you to follow the spiders
If it's after 11:00 o'clock then don't try to get onto Platform 9 ¾. All you'll see are stars
Don't ask Voldemort what Avada Kedavra means cause he'll demonstrate
Wander into Aragog's cave
If there's a fire in the school 'Impervius' is not the spell to put it out
The Monster Mash is not a spell to use on monsters
Don't befriend Malfoy
Only open a restricted book without permission at midnight if you want to wake the whole castle
Play near the Whomping Willow
Let Crabbe and Goyle show you how many cupcakes they can fit in their mouths. It's not pretty
The Wizard of Oz is not a good movie to show the school
Drink Polyjuice potion to turn into an animal
Make lots of noise around Fluffy
Use 'Incendio' around your bed curtains
Use 'Engorgio' around a troll
Just because Dumbledore knows everything doesn't mean he's a psychic (Or does it?)
Dive into the Black Lake looking for gorgeous mermaids
Challenge Fawkes to a weight lifting contest
Don't bother using 'Confundus' on Crabbe and Goyle
If you're looking for a way to laugh use 'Tarantallegra' on Snape but you'll have to use 'Obliviate' next