Star of Hogwarts!AU
In this Alternate Universe, Sirius Black is the secret star pupil of Hogwarts. He is the best at casting spells and learning magic. He's great at charming magically beasts. In fact, the only magical deficiency he seems to have is making potions. He can make a potion that will let him get a passing grade but he isn't skilled at making them. Most of his background can be found on LJ under the account sirius_mrblack.
This story takes place during Sirius's fifth year. There are a couple pairings in here, some only visible if you squint and others blatantly obvious. Lots of one-sided feelings on all the Marauders and of course, the most obvious couple in here, some hatelove Sirius x Snape. As to who Sirius really likes, that will only be revealed at the end. Have fun watching him race around, bumping into every possible couple pairing and thoroughly hating every moment of it.
This is my first Harry Potter fanfic. It will probably be a oneshot but I'm undecided if I'll continue it or not. I hope you enjoy it, it was certainly fun to write.
Sirius stood over Severus, annoyed. Damn it! He'd completely forgotten his original objective. He had called the boy over for one specific purpose. One specific purpose and that purpose had been completely forgotten in the process of bullying him. "It's distracting!" He hissed in frustration.
Severus wiped his lip and readjusted his rumpled, half-torn off clothes. He glared daggers at Sirius, pissed off at having to deal with this kind of drama. What had he been thinking when he'd come to his call? Why had he trusted him when he said his main goal wasn't to bully him today. "What's so damn distracting?" He snapped back.
"You are." Sirius replied in an even tone, looking up and running a hand through his hair. He didn't notice Severus freeze in place, his eyes widening. Severus could hear his heart thundering in his ears, beating so fast he was sure it was going to burst. He licked his lips carefully. "I distract you?" He somehow managed to keep the hopeful tone out of his voice. Well, he managed to sound almost normal at least. Sirius was completely oblivious.
"Yes, damn it all. Making fun of you is too distracting." Sirius shook his head and sighed heavily, lowering it. He closed his eyes and pinched his nose just below his brow. His eyebrows knitted together in concentration. He didn't notice the dejected look that flitted across Severus's face, continuing his ridiculous rant. "I get so wrapped up in teasing you I forget what I'm supposed to be doing. It's all your fault. Who told you to have such interesting reactions? Quit making my life difficult."
Severus listened in growing anger at Sirius's stupid rant. This was his fault? He was seriously blaming him for his distraction problem? Severus intended to let him have it. He seriously wasn't going to stand for this treatment anymore. He opened his mouth to let lose a string of curses and degrading talk that would have made even Tom Riddle proud. However, at that moment Sirius suddenly kneels so he was at eye level with Severus. He knelt there before him, a hand ruffling his hair and looking exceedingly—embarrassed? Did Sirius really look embarrassed? He refused to look Severus in the eye. "I...need a favor. Do this one thing for me and I'll never bother you again. The whole time we're in school, I'll leave you alone."
That should have made Severus happy to hear that but it only gave him a pang. He didn't want to hear that. He didn't like that idea for some reason. His heart ached at the idea, actually. He didn't think too deeply as to why. If there was a deeper reason why, he didn't want to know it. He licked his lips, thinking over the matter carefully. "What is it?" Maybe this was a trap. After all, it was Sirius asking. That's right, it had to be a trap!
"I want you to...to make me a love potion." Sirius looked so unsure of himself. "I only want it to last for a day, though. Nothing permanent or long-lasting. Just a day." He looked down, a sheepish look on his face. He stayed silent, waiting for Severus's response.
Completely caught off guard, Severus nodded dumbly, stuttering out a response when Sirius didn't seem to notice his consent. "Uh, s-sure. I, I mean... Y-yes."
Sirius flashed him a bright smile, even brighter than the one he normally had when laughing with James and Remus. It took Severus's breath away. "Thanks! You're an okay guy, Severus." He stood abruptly and walked off, an extra skip in his step.
Severus continued to sit there in the grass, completely confused. Had what he thought just happened really happened? Had the mighty Sirius Black fallen so low as to ask him for help? Help in love? And he had agreed to it! He had agreed to help him, to make him a one-day love potion. It occurred to him to wonder at the strange request. Why would Sirius need a love potion? And why did he want it to last only for a day? It was clearly for himself and not a prank. If it was for a prank, he wouldn't have asked Severus to make it. Sure, Severus prided himself at being the best potion maker in school but he wasn't the only one skilled at making potions. If it was for a prank, then he could have found someone else to make it for him. No, he was serious about this. But why was he trusting Severus to make the potion? Wasn't he worried he'd mess it up on purpose or give him something wrong? No, no. Severus knew with certainty that Sirius was smart enough to see through it if he gave him a bad potion. Strangely enough, though, Severus wasn't even seriously considering messing it up.
x . xXx . x
Three days later...
Severus finally tracked Sirius down. He felt like an idiot, carrying a stupid love potion around with him all day. He felt even lower whenever he remembered he was supposed to give it to Sirius, his bully. Of course, what made him feel incredibly stupid was the fact he somehow knew that giving this potion to Sirius meant he was going to use it to confess. He couldn't stop his rising hopes. Sirius found him distracting. Sirius found his reactions interesting. Sirius couldn't concentrate when he was around and had to call out to him, usually in a teasing manner. Wasn't this the prelude to a confession? Sure, it was juvenile behavior one might expect from a grade school child or one of the 1st/2nd years but Sirius was pretty childish himself. Besides, why else would he specifically ask Severus to help him? There was no reason, unless he didn't hate him like he claimed he did. He jogged over to Sirius, catching up to him just as he parted from the group of friends he'd been talking to.
Panting slightly, both from excitement and exhaustion—he hadn't slept the whole time he was making this potion, wanting it to be perfect—he thrust the glass vial at Sirius. The liquid inside swished around invitingly. Sirius brightened, taking the love potion quickly. He didn't let Severus catch his breath or speak. "Is this really it? Marvelous. This little dandy should work wonders. It does work, doesn't it? Just the way I asked you, only for a day."
"Yes." Severus nodded. "Only for a day. There might be a feel lingering effects but those will fade away within a few days. The effects of the potion will have worn off completely by the end of the week." He looked at Sirius expectantly.
"Great! I should probably test it out first, to make sure it really works, but I don't want to waste a drop." He cradled the bottle to his chest in a cherishing manner. Severus felt a small pang in his heart. He started when Sirius turned and began to walk away.
"Wait, that's it?" He called out, jogging after him again. "That's all you have to say?"
"Oh right. Manners, manners." He grinned sheepishly. "Thanks, Severus, for the help. Don't worry, I'll keep my end of the bargain."
"That's not what I meant!"
Sirius gave him a confused look. "You don't want me to stop bugging and teasing you? Are you a hardcore masochist Severus?"
Yes, probably. He thought to himself. Or else why would I be pushing this subject further? I should just drop it here. He shook his head furiously, though, and continued on. "No! I meant, you don't have anything else to say to me?"
Sirius gave him a bemused look, as though trying to figure out what Severus was going on about. However, he finally slowly shook his head in response. "I'm not sure what else you expect me to say, Severus. You're services were rendered. Thank you and goodbye." He said the words coolly, as though speaking to an outsider, and Severus finally understood with frustrating clarity that he hadn't even crossed his mind when it came to confessing. He suppressed the pained feeling echoing in his chest, lashing out in anger instead. He knew anger, understood anger, and it was a comfortable emotion. He didn't want to think about the reasons why he was angry, why he had been excited earlier and felt so crushed now. That didn't matter, couldn't matter to him.
"At least tell me who the damn potion was for!" He snapped angrily.
Sirius blinked at him in surprise for a few seconds. He clearly wasn't expecting this. He gave a slow grin though, immediately catching on now why Severus was so angry. He hadn't thought Severus would ever think of him that way. This was an unexpected surprise. Not unpleasant, no, though he was already planning on teasing Severus for their remaining years about this. "It's for my best friend. Though I'm surprised you're so jealous. I didn't think you were the type." His grin widened considerably. "You really are a hardcore masochist, aren't you?"
Severus lost it. He hated the fact that Sirius had seen through the motives behind the question so quickly. He hated the fact that it hadn't even occurred to him that Severus might be expecting something. He hated that stupid smirk on his face. He hated that knowing look in his eyes. He hated that he knew Sirius would never let him live this down. But what—or rather who—he hated most were James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. James and Remus, who had humiliated him so thoroughly and didn't even realize it. James Potter and Remus Lupin who were so blissfully unaware of what had just happened. James, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Remus Lupin. It had to be one of the two. Sirius wouldn't fall in love with Peter Pettigrew. Surely not. Severus's pride wouldn't even allow him to consider the thought. No, it was probably James Potter who Sirius was infatuated with. Sirius always seemed to be together with him or following his movements with his eyes. Why did Sirius have to be so damn obsessed with him? He snatched the bottle back, uncorking it and throwing his head back, drinking half of it in one go. Screw everything, he was pissed off and embarrassed and he fully intended to ruin Sirius's confession. Sirius's face registered shock, horror, and then fury. He pulled the bottle out of Severus's hands and stoppered it but it was already to late. There wasn't enough potion left for what he'd had planned. He glared at Severus for ten seconds before punching him. He actually punched him in the face as hard as he could. Severus was knocked to the ground and nearly knocked out.
"Deal's off, you bloody git. I'm going to terrorize you until I graduate and then some!" He stormed off, bottle still in hand, leaving Severus alone but satisfied. At least for a little while, he would fully occupy the other's thoughts.
x . xXx . x
Later that day, with James...
Sirius had been in a rotten mood ever since he'd ran into sniveling Severus Snape earlier. James hadn't heard there conversation but he had watched it with increased interested—and jealousy. Seeing Sirius light up like that had been a first. He hadn't lit up like that since their 1st year together and never for him. Seeing him light up for Severus had seriously pushed a few buttons in James. He'd been about to go over there and demand in on there conversation when he noticed Sirius's normal teasing expression return. Whatever he had teased Severus about had severely angered the Slytherin, though, and snatched the potion he'd handed Sirius away to drink some of it. Whatever that potion was, it was clear that Sirius had been furious that Severus drank it. James was exceedingly curious, wanting to satisfy his curiosity but unwilling to ask Sirius about that incident. His chance came soon enough. They had free time and Sirius stormed out—leaving the vial behind. James watched him go, considering going after him for a moment. He was more curious about the small bottle Sirius and Severus had been arguing about, though. He quickly grabbed it and uncorked it, tilting his head back. He got a mouthful before Sirius was in front of him, pulling the bottle from his hands.
"James! Don't drink that, Severus put his filthy whiny mouth all over it!" Sirius protested, looking at him worriedly. He had come back when he realized he'd left the stupid bottle only to be shocked at the sight of James drinking some of it. What had he been thinking?
"I know." James replied. He felt warm inside, warm and happy and almost fuzzy. Strange, what was going on? "I was watching when you had that fight. I wanted to know what it was about."
"You—you could have just asked me!" Sirius tried not to yell. His best friend had just drank love potion. This wasn't supposed to happen, today wasn't supposed to happen like this. "You shouldn't have damn well drank that bloody potion!"
"Why, what was it? Tell me, Sirius." His voice had a slight, childish whine he rarely used. James blinked, surprised to hear it in his voice. He only used that tone when he wanted to know something more than anything else.
Sirius gritted his teeth before pocketing the vial. He grabbed James's wrist and tugged him out of the room. He pulled him down the corridor, down one of the moving staircases and up another until they finally came to an empty floor. He pulled him into a secluded classroom and let go. The whole time Sirius was leading him, James had felt warm and fuzzy. It was a strange feeling. He was sad when Sirius let go. Sirius pulled out the potion and held it up, glaring pointedly at James. "I swear to god, James, if you repeat anything I'm about to say... Our friendship is over and I'll never acknowledge you again! I'll treat you just like Severus, no, even worse than him!"
"I won't tell, Sirius. Promise." James grinned.
Sirius continued to glare at him but finally sighed. He set the bottle down on a desk in front of James. "I asked Severus to make me this potion three days ago. It's a love potion. I wanted to use it to help me get the courage to confess but everyone keeps drinking it!" He glared pointedly at James again. "You can't tell anyone. Ever. Promise, James. Solemnly swear."
James, however, was preoccupied with something else. "Why did you ask Severus? I'm good at making potions, Sirius! You could have asked me! I wouldn't have laughed, I swear!" Well, he might have. A little. But he didn't like the fact that Sirius had gone to someone else for help. That Sirius had asked for magical help from someone outside of the Marauders. That Sirius had asked someone else for help in love. He wanted to be the one Sirius turned to. He wanted to be the one Sirius depended on. He wanted to be the one— "Oh god."
"What?" Sirius gave him a worried look.
"I love you."
Sirius blinked at James in confusion. "No, you love Lily. You're just thinking that because of the potion."
"No, no. I really do love you, Sirius. Bloody hell, I don't know why I didn't see it sooner. I've always wanted to be around you, to be your friend. Since the moment I saw you cast that spell back when we were 1st years, I've been utterly and completely smitten with you. I love you, Sirius." James felt like he was having an epiphany. He couldn't understand why Sirius looked so horrified. He was bloody damn certain that at least on some level, Sirius loved him too.
Sirius was horrified. He was staring at his best friend like he'd suddenly grown two heads. James was under the effects of the love potion. He knew that. He couldn't stop his heart from giving a little giddy jump as the words tumbled out of James' mouth. It was true that on some level, Sirius did love him back. He did love James as more than a friend, as more than a best friend or even a brother—but today wasn't supposed to go like this. Not at all. This wasn't supposed to happen. Sirius was supposed to confess after coaxing his love to drink the potion. He would confess, they would go on a date, and then the day would end. Come tomorrow, today would have been a blissful dream and both parties would forget all about it. James wasn't supposed to drink the potion and confess. Sirius loved James, he really did—but he certainly didn't want to break up his relationship with Lily. He loved Lily too, like a sister, and he wanted her to be happy. He wanted both Lily and James to be incredibly happy. The best way for both of them to be happy was to be with each other. James would never be happy with him, not really. James wanted a family. Sirius wasn't going to be able to provide him with that. So he took a step back, his hands automatically raised, and shook his head. "You don't mean that, James. You really don't. That's the potion talking."
"It's not. The potion only awoken my true feelings. Let me prove it to you." He quickly stepped forward, tugging Sirius into a kiss. Sirius stared at his best friend wide-eyed, not expecting the feel his lips against his. The love potion shouldn't do this, not unless it had an aphrodisiac mixed in. James' lips moved against his in a heated, passionate manner. This wasn't good. His head was completely clouded and Sirius couldn't afford to be sucked in. He liked Remus, not James. He wanted to be with Remus, not James. His heart felt heavy and his mind was aswirl with confusion as he shoved James back. He stumbled and tripped, landing on his rear. His glasses tumbled off. That was just the distraction Sirius needed. He hopped on the desk and ran across it, scoping up the love potion as he went by. He jumped off the end and ran to the door, never looking back. He was afraid if he did, he'd subcum to temptation. He could hear James frantically searching for his glasses and calling for him to wait. He ran into the hall and to the stairs. He didn't notice a figure hidden by one of the other classroom doors. They waited for him to pass before stopping James in his pursuit of Sirius.
x . xXx . x
With Peter...
Peter knew he'd blackmailed them into letting them into the group at first. He knew that but he truly believed that they had become friends. And they had. Remus treated him with kindness and respect. Sirius teased him but he still looked out for him. It was James that he cared most about though. It was James that he held a silent torch for. He knew James was helplessly straight. He knew all their orientations. Remus was completely asexual, or so it seemed on the surface. However, dig a little deeper and it was quickly found that he was a closet case. Gay as a rainbow, as it were. Sirius was a pansexual. He honestly didn't care about a person's sex, so long as he was attracted to them. He didn't hide his sexuality, either. He didn't proclaim it openly, of course, but it was widely rumored that he was fine with guys as well as girls. As far as anyone knew, he'd never done more than some serious making out with some guys but there were rumors... Well, there were always rumors around Sirius. That's why he wasn't surprised that Severus had kissed him. No, what surprised him, what bothered him, was James. He'd thought he'd had James pegged. He had been so sure that James was straight as an arrow, that he bent for no one. And yet here he'd been, professing his love for Sirius! He'd even kissed him.
Peter hadn't heard the whole conversation. He'd followed them when they brushed past him in the hallway, curious. It was rare that Sirius wanted to talk to anyone in private. He didn't mind being dragged to a private place but Sirius Black prided himself in being an open book. He often said what was on the surface was exactly who he was. Peter knew better, all the Marauders did now. However, Sirius rarely kept secrets from them. Now that they knew his biggest secret, knew what his family had done to him... No, he didn't keep secrets from them anymore. That's why it was so strange watching him drag James down the hall as if neither of them wanted to be around other people, as if they wanted to be alone together. Peter had been curious about this one and followed the two of them. He had finally found them just in time to hear James claim he loved Sirius. Sirius had claimed he didn't, that it was just the potion speaking, but James had been adamant. Peter was inclined to believe him, especially after he kissed Sirius. He felt hurt and utterly betrayed. How could James do this, go after a man when he was dating Lily? And why did it have to be Sirius?
He stepped out of his hiding place and blocked James' path. James cursed at him, shocking Peter momentarily. "Bloody hell, Peter! Get out of my way! I have to apologize to Sirius. I couldn't bear it if he started hating me and I know he has!"
Peter shook his head. He watched everyone in the group. He knew everything about them, all the things they tried to keep secret in their heart—or nearly all. "Sirius turned you down for a reason. He wanted you to stay together with Lily. That's why he ran away. It's not that he doesn't love you—he ran away because he loves you, James."
James' face lit up happily. "Really? You truly believe that? That's great news! Then I still have a chance!"
Peter stopped him again, placing a hand on his chest. "Don't. Don't go after him. You and Sirius aren't meant to be together, James."
"How would you bloody well know, Wormtail?" James spit out, saying the nickname in a derogaroy tone.
That stung Peter but he didn't back down. "I know because I'm always watching you, Prongs. I wanted to know everything about you so I watched you."
"What the hell?"
"I'm saying I bloody well love you, you thick-skulled git!" Peter snapped, his eyes misting over slightly. He swiped at them angrily. "If, if you really can't forget about Sirius... If you really can't get Sirius out of your head, then let me comfort you."
James stared at him. He clearly hadn't expected this.
x . xXx . x
With Remus, at the same time...
Remus was completely oblivious to the events that had been occurring today, which he had unwittingly been the cause of. He would be dismayed if he ever found out he was the cause of so many awkward and potentially hurtful scenarios. Luckily, he was still in class like a good student, studying diligently. He finished the class and went to lunch. He was surprised to notice Peter and James were missing from their usual spot. Normally, the two of them got here before everyone else. As lunch went by, he became increasingly worried. Sirius hadn't shown up yet, which was even rarer still. He couldn't help notice Severus's snide glances. When he leaned over to whispering something to Lucius Malfoy and the two of them started laughing while looking at him, Remus had had enough. He stood and made his way over to Severus. True, he had never joined in the teasing but he was no more fond of the boy than the others. He had only warned them against bullying him so publicly because he was worried about James and Sirius getting detention. He had no problem threatening the boy if it meant learning what had happened to his friends. And from the way Severus was so smugly laughing at him, Remus was fairly certain that he knew what was going on.
He walked up to Severus and nonchalantly shoved Lucius out of the way. He sat next to the Slytherin, an angry glint in his eyes, the only sign on his otherwise calm facade that he was upset. Lucius sputtered and tried to protest at his seat being taken. Remus shut him up with a petrify spell before turning a cool, calculating eye on Severus. "Tell me what's going on, Severus. Tell me everything. Why were you snickering with Lucius over here about me and what do you know about my friends' absence?"
Severus had never seen Remus angry before. It was a cold anger, one that felt suffocating and oppressive. This wasn't like James fiery temper that quickly flared up and could be just as quickly extinguished with a few choice words from Remus. No, Remus had a temper that threatened to swallow him whole if he wasn't careful. Severus was actually, truly frightened. He gulped and tried not to be too obvious about his fear. He didn't want to give the other any more of an upper hand. He had the advantage. He had the information Remus was seeking. It was up to him to decide whether or not to tell him. He tried to put on a smug smile to cover for his nervousness. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Remus."
Remus's cool anger chilled. The look in his eyes seemed to drop a few degrees, if that's possible to imagine. He turned his eye to were Lucius was lying petrified on the ground. He cast another spell, a much more serious spell. Normally, it was quiet harmless—normally. However, that was only if you had you're hands free and could reverse the spell. Petrified, the little prank spell turned deadly. He turned back to Severus. "I'm serious. Tell me everything you know."
"Are you crazy?" Severus cried in horror. What was wrong with Remus today? Honestly, someone like him should just mind their own business. So what if his friends weren't here? That was no reason to flip out!
Remus ignored the comment. "Start talking and I reverse the spell." He stated calmly.
"Fine! If you're so worried about Sirius and James, I'll tell you all about them! Just reverse the stupid spell already, I don't think he can breathe!"
Remus reversed the spell and then turned and expectant eye on Severus. "Start talking. What about Sirius and James?" Had the two of them gotten into some kind of trouble again? He would have to go bail them out of it, no doubt. Honestly, what would they do without—
"They're probably making out somewhere." Severus's statement completely derailed Remus's train of thought. He blinked and stared at the Slytherin.
"Excuse me, what did you say?"
Severus could see he had unnerved Remus. Clearly, Sirius's secret crush on James had been dead on. Not only that, better yet he hadn't told Remus. Perhaps he could break apart their friendship. If he could make the first wedge in friendship in the group, it would probably crumble soon enough. He continued on gleefully. "You didn't know?" He asked with obvious fake surprise. "Sirius asked me to prepare a love potion three days ago. I gave it to him today. He said he was going to give it to his best friend and that he wanted to make sure it lasted the specified amount of time he told me. He wanted to spend a certain amount of time with his sweetheart. He was very persuasive, even promising not to bother me for the rest of the school year if I accomplished this. He must have really wanted to hook up with James. Don't you agree."
Remus looked momentarily disconcerted. Clearly this wasn't the response he was expecting. His anger evaporated like water, slowly cooling but not dissipating entirely. "Then... Then what about Peter? Why isn't Peter here?" His voice was weak. He wanted to deny it but he'd seen the way Sirius sometimes looked at James. There was a longing in his eyes. It was entirely possible he had set out to woo James. And if that was so, Remus had no doubt he could easily seduce him. James might be straight but he always seemed to have a weak spot for Sirius. It was that weak spot that always seemed to get them into trouble.
"Peter? I don't know what happened to him. I thought he was just the henchman of the group." Severus had a nasty thought and his smirk widened. "Maybe he's watching them together now. Or maybe they asked him to join in."
Remus stood and cast a petrify spell on Severus as well. He left both Lucius and Severus stuck in that spell, casually strolling away. He never once let on how bothered he was by all this. But he was, he was greatly bothered by this. Sirius has asked Severus for help? Why hadn't he come to him? Why had he trusted Severus with the tightly guarded secret of his heart, his love for his fellow Marauder, but not him? Remus had a lot of questions and he didn't like not being able to answer them. Suddenly not hungry, he left his food sitting at the Gryffindor table and went to find his three best friends. Even if it meant finding Sirius and James together Remus had to know the truth.
x . xXx . x
At that time, with James and Peter...
The potion had finally worn off a couple hours later. James sat on one of the desks in an empty classroom, not minding he was shirtless. He held an unlit cigarette in his hand, just staring at it. He wasn't a smoker. It just wasn't his style. Sirius gave him this cigarette, though, as a reminder. He smiled absently, twirling it in his fingers before pocketing. He would always treasure it, he knew that much. He glanced at the naked figure beside him. That grin clearly said they expected more from this than a one night stand. How to let them down easy? James was straight. He made an exception for Sirius but even that was a limited exception. He would never be anything more than "friends with benefits" with Sirius. He'd thought Sirius knew that, but apparently not. He sighed and shook his head. Now wasn't the time to be thinking about that or regretting the way things had played out. Now was the time for explanations.
"Peter..." He began, addressing his one-time lover. "Peter, this was a mistake. I should have never taken advantage of you like this." This was something he would have expected Sirius to do. He never thought he'd find himself in this position, much less with a trusted friend. He was about to hurt him and for that, James felt guilty.
"This should have never happened, Peter. I wasn't myself. I drank a love potion Sirius had and it made me...more open to the suggestion of love." He had meant what he'd said to Sirius. He loved him. He loved him more than a friend, more than a brother. He'd thought that saying it would have been enough. He thought Sirius was the type to not care about technicalities like love potions and spell influences. He'd assumed his best friend was fine sleeping with anyone he was attracted to. He'd never judged him more poorly. Apparently, those things did matter to him. Apparently, Sirius did have standards. James knew he certainly needed to raise his own. If he had stuck to his feelings and chased after Sirius... If he hadn't been distracted by Peter and intrigued by his offer and what it entailed, none of this would have ever happened. But it had and now he had to apologize for it.
Peter felt humiliated and hurt. He'd know that James wasn't himself. He'd known that James wasn't the type of person to spontaneously sleep with someone else, even a friend. He'd known this was a possibility. He'd known but he'd slept with him anyway. He'd known but he'd raised his hopes anyway. He'd let himself get carried away, hoping that it wasn't a fleeting feeling. This was the expected outcome, he knew that. But it still hurt twice as much. He still felt hopelessly crushed. What had he thought would happen, really? Had he thought James would sleep with him and that would miraculously make him fall in love. Had he hoped to seduce him with his body? Peter couldn't come up with a good reason with why he'd suggested it in the first place. He'd just wanted to sleep with him, to be connected to him for a little bit. It wasn't enough now, it would never be enough again. Peter understood that but he also knew he could never let on how hurt he was. It had been his decision, his choice. He had to accept the consequences of his actions.
"I'm sorry, Peter. I'm really really sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it before you'll believe me but I am sorry." James told him, bowing his head in frustration and pain when Peter didn't immediately reply. He held his head in his hands, guilt-ridden.
Peter nodded and choked out the words he knew he wanted to hear. "It's okay, James. It was just...a one night stand. That's all. We'll never speak of this again. I won't say anything about it and you won't say anything about it. No one will know. Not Lily, not Sirius or Remus, no one. It'll just be our little secret." And with that, Peter tied James to him at least a little. They would always have a solid connection between them now.
James nodded and got dressed quickly. His guilt over what he'd done to Peter eased, he now felt guilty for the betrayal he'd made to Lily. He couldn't keep this from her. She had to know the truth. He was so focused on himself, he didn't notice the pained look on Peter's face. He'd never been good at hiding his pain. Dressed, James quickly exited the room. He had to find Lily. He had to tell her everything, everything, and apologize from the bottom of his heart. She might not understand. She probably would never understand but he couldn't lie to her. Not when he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. That thought forefront in his mind, he forgot all about Peter.
Peter, on the other hand, continued to sit there in the empty classroom floor. He was still naked. He was still sore. It had been his first time after all. He wasn't sure he'd be able to walk alright. He didn't complain when James suddenly left though. No, he wanted to be alone. He wanted to nurse his anger and humiliation. He could feel the tears rolling down his cheeks but he didn't care. He would repay this betrayal one day. He would make sure that both Sirius and James paid for this humiliation. They would both feel the pain he was experiencing now. Because ultimately, this was Sirius's fault. If it hadn't been for that stupid love potion he'd let James drink, Peter wouldn't have gotten his hopes up. He wouldn't have thought he had a chance. This was Sirius's fault as much as James'. He would make them both pay, he definitely would.
x . xXx . x
During all this, with poor Sirius...
Sirius didn't know what stopped James from chasing after him but whatever it was, he was grateful for that chance. He needed to get away and think for a while. Get his priorities straight for once. He couldn't do that if he was constantly running into people "in love" with him. So he skipped lunch and headed for the back of the library. It was quiet. A safe place for him to let his guard down. He didn't have to worry about James or Severus looking for him in there, because neither would think he'd hide in the library. He didn't have to worry about running into Peter, who he dreaded facing after all of this. What would he do if Peter was "in love" with him too? Everyone kept drinking his love potion. If Peter drank it and confessed to him as well, Sirius would scream. Peter was a good friend but the last thing he wanted was a catastrophe. Dating him serious—and Peter was the type to date someone seriously, he wasn't a one night stand—was out of the question. Worn out and tired from all the stress he'd endured today, Sirius relaxed at one of the tables in the far corner of the library. In no time at all, he was asleep. Utterly wiped, he passed out, his head resting on his arms and tilted to one side.
That was where Remus found him an hour later, having just come from lunch. He fully intended to look for James and Sirius. He knew they weren't likely to frequent the library under normal circumstances. There was even less of a chance under lover circumstances. Still, he felt he should start with the library. Maybe it was just to start with familiar territory. Maybe it was just to ease his nervousness. Whatever the reason, he was certainly surprised to find Sirius snoozing on a table in the back. He was tempted for a moment to leave him be, as he looked so peaceful sleeping there. But he remembered clearly why he was looking for him in the first place. He wanted answers and he wanted them now. He shook his shoulders violently, trying to wake him. "Sirius. Sirius, wake up. Sirius."
"Mmm." Drozy and half asleep, Sirius stirred and blinked blearily at Remus. He gave him a lazy, half-asleep smile. "Remus, 's you... Shoulda known you'd find me 'n th' libr'ry." His voice was think with sleep and some of his words were slurred.
"Sirius, wake up please. I have some questions for you. About Severus and the love potion..." Remus began.
Sirius made a face and shook his head, letting his eyes fall closed again and resting his head down. "Don' talk 'bout Severus. Don' wanna see or hear 'im ag'n..."
"Sirius!" Remus shook his shoulders. "Sirius, wake up this instant! So it's true? You really did ask him for a love potion? You really did want to make James fall in love with you?"
Sirius's head lulled back and forth as Remus shook him. He really was tired. He made another face at James' name and suddenly tugged Remus close. He hugged him tight, nuzzling his neck. "Don' talk 'bout James either. He's a, a, a butt...head." Sirius slumped forward, on Remus.
Remus shook him once more. "Sirius..."
"Remus..." He suddenly planted a kiss on Remus's lips. "I got you a love potion but everyone else drank it. Now Severus and James keep telling me they love me but I only love you. So let's go on a date when I get up, okay?" Sleepy smile accomplished, Sirius slumped on the table to continue his nap. James was busy trying to think of how to explain today's events. Peter was busy plotting revenge for hurt pride. Severus was still sprawled out on the floor, being made fun of by other Slytherins and cursing Remus. And Remus wondered how he'd gotten dragged into this mess in the first place. Only Sirius seemed content, convincing himself this was all a dream and that it would all disappear when he woke up. As for what actually happened when he did wake up—well, that's another story for another time.
Author's Notes: Finally done. I think this may be my longest one shot. I'm not sure. It was fun to write but boy, did the characters have minds of their own. They didn't want to listen to a word I said. I'm satisfied with the outcome, though. I think it turned out pretty interesting. Hope you enjoyed it. If you want more or if you liked it, please tell me. Otherwise, Ciao!