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Hi and welcome to Fare.E.Tail. We apologise for interrupting your daily schedule but there is breaking news going on, here is a brief summary of our findings.

There was once a poisoned orange. The dreadful Snow White who now lies unconscious in a glass showcase has bitten into one of these poor poisoned and endangered species of Orange. The seven security dwarves are offering a reward of 5000 endangered oranges to the person who can wake her up. Crowds of celebrities are gathered around her as we speak. Let's go to Charlotte Brown, our "Out of the Ordinary Affairs" Correspondent.

"Yes, thank you Wicked Witch of the West. As you were saying, fame thirsty spotlight hoggers surround me, all craving that inevitable 5000 orange reward. Let's have a word with one of them now. Hello, I'm reporting for Fare.E.Tail news, can I talk to you for a second about this, um, AMAZING event? So, who are you, and why exactly are you here?"

"Yeah, Hi. I'm Harry Potter, duh. I'm only here because Ant and Dec dragged me. I was meant to be on their Saturday night takeaway but instead those scheming little Geordies got me here to wake up some stupid little fairy elf."

"Um, are you sure you're in the right place? I thought this was Snow White we were talki-—"

"Snow White? Who, who's she?"

"The one who's sleeping. Aren't you even interested in the reward?"

"Reward? What reward? I never heard of a reward. Look, I even have my wand, see? I can't believe those two little imps got me here. I'm missing Herbology for THIS?!"

"Um, right ok, anyway. Oh, never mind. He's gone, ok. Well, they're a friendly bunch aren't they? So, it looks like things are beginning to heat up. Just behind me the large crowd is closing in on the showcase, and it looks like the lid is being lifted. Let's take a closer look.

"Yes, the celebs are lining up by Snow White's side and here's who's in the queue of the century.

"First we have Little Red, that's riding hood, with a large basket.

Then there's Cinderella who's closely followed by the three little pigs. Then the line seems to become a two-by-two procession with Romeo and Juliet and then Barbie and Ken. Yes, I do believe I can see the handsome Prince Charming. What's this? He's at the back of the queue! Lets head over there now and have a little word with him.

"So, Prince, what made you decide to come here today?"

"Well, it's in the plot isn't it? And why are they all here? I mean, isn't this like, my story? Aren't I the Hero?"

"Well, uh, yes, but you do realise this is a twisted world don't you?"

"But it's not in the script. See this? This is the script. There is no Barbie in it. No Barbie, no pink. It's Snow WHITE."

"Yeah, ok thank you for your time, we'll see you soon,"

"Soon? Not likely. If you hadn't remembered, I'm at the back of the line here!"

"Well, I'm just going to take a quick break and hand back over to you in the studio, Wicked Witch of the West. I'll see in you a bit, when the excitement starts. Over to you."

Thank you Charlotte, It looks like your having a very good time over there. So, let's recap on the story so far.

So, here we have Snow White in a showcase, seemingly unconscious. Many well-known stars of the century and her ever guarding seven dwarves surround her. There is a reward for the person who can wake her up. So far, we've had a very NICE and INTERESTING conversation with two people seeking the reward. Oh, well, back to Charlotte."

"Thanks. The excitement seems to be starting as someone with an extremely fake tan is leaning into the glass case. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Plastic man! Oh, I mean Ken."

"Ken, get your bleach blonde dyed hair, out of that tacky case, this instant. Your meant to be mine Ken, I mean, she's not worth it you know, the fame just follows, me. Stick with me, and you'll see me in that new pink bikini, you know the one they created me the other week. Come on, think of all we have at home: The Pet shop, the carriage, the new Beetle (in Pink only), the kitchen, and the Deluxe Dolls house. You tried it with Cindy last time and remember what happened? You came running RIGHT BACK didn't you?"

"Uh, well. Looks like Barbie's in a bit of a strop..."

"A STROP?"

"Well, yes...."

"Well, I, I mean, You, Ooooh."

"This is definitely turning out to be a very memorable day. *Whispered* Wait, the crowd has gone silent. They're all looking up to the tower in awe. Oh, I don't believe it, it's Rapunzel!"

Wicked Witch = Wait, isn't she in a different story?

"They're ALL in a different story!"

Wicked Witch = OH, sorry.

"Anyway, Romeo has abandoned Juliet, and is now at the foot of the tower yelling..."

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, Let down your long hair."

"And yep, it seems to have worked. Rapunzel's long red, curly hair has been thrown out the window. The crowd flinches as it whacks Romeo in the face, knocking him out of the way."

"Oooh, that's gotta hurt." The crowd winced.

"Romeo has toppled against the glass case, and due to the shock Snow White seems to have woken up! It's a MIRACLE! Well, it seems the day's adventure has come to an end. But who will get the reward, Romeo or Rapunzel? As I stand here amongst the crowd, it's like something out of a fairy tale. Back to the studio."

That's all for today's Fare.E.Tail news. Join us next time for all the latest reports in the twisted World. It's goodnight from me, Wicked Witch of the West.

"And goodnight from me, Charlotte Brown."

Both: Goodnight.

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