Laying here in Travis' arms has to be one of the best feelings in the world to me, and each time I find myself in his arms it's just as great as the first time it happened. The night started out just as it usually does; Travis and I leaving the station and coming home to our newly purchased home. Travis showered and changed his clothes while I got started on dinner; I've finally been able to get him to eat somewhat healthily as long as I cook it. We had dinner and ended up in the living room cuddled on the couch while Travis watches some mindless TV show and I read. The hand that Travis usually has on my back holding me to him will creep up under my shirt and caress the skin there, which usually leads to me falling asleep on him; there's just something about Travis' hands on me that helps settle my mind and body.
Even though Travis and I have been together for a little over a year now, it still amazes me how far we've come; both separately and as a couple. We went from the both us of living in temporary homes because we were afraid to try for something permanent. Travis' fear came from growing up in foster care and mine came from my failed marriage with Alex. Despite both of us having our own issues, us getting together was something that has been a long time coming; we've both just been trying to fight it.
After both of us denying it for so long and a drunken night, both Travis and I have admitted to ourselves and each other that we wanted to be together. At first I figured that we wouldn't last; as much as Travis said that he wanted to be in a relationship with me, he's always been a ladies man and I honestly didn't see that changing; but I'm happy to say that I was wrong. I mean sure we've had our disagreements and arguments but for the most part Travis and I being together has been the easiest thing I've ever done.
Even when I was with Alex I always felt as though I had to force our relationship; that I had to be whatever she wanted in order for our relationship and marriage to work out. Which is the exact reason that we got divorced; I couldn't be what she wanted anymore. It took some private sessions with Dr. Ryan to show me that that was a way for Alex to control me, molding me into what she thought that I should be. I never knew a relationship could be so easy and comfortable until Travis.
During my marriage with Alex, I wasn't much for a lot of physical contact; holding hands, hugging and other public displays of affection weren't something that I felt comfortable with, but with Travis it's completely different. Whereas Alex would have to try and initiate contact with me; I find myself not only being more open to PDA, but wanting it and sometimes even initiating it myself. I love the fact that I can feel free and open enough to do these types of things; and it's all because of Travis.
"Wes, baby. You ok?" I hear Travis ask; he's looking down at me from where I'm lying on his chest looking a little worried; and this is something else that I love about Travis; his willingness to make sure that I'm ok and that I'm taken care of. I guess it comes from his naturally protective personality, but it feels nice to know that if I'm not ok that I have someone to talk to that understands where I'm coming from.
Curling up closer to him and burying my face in his chest, I replied.
"Yeah, Trav. I'm ok." Seeming satisfied with my answer I felt him pull me closer to him, as if it were possible for me to be any closer, and kiss the top of my head.
It may have taken us a while to get here, but there's no place I'd rather be than here in his arms.