I slammed the door so hard. That icicle from the Chandelier feel and broke with a tinkering sound as it smashed into a million pieces on the floor. I sild down the door and rested on my head on my knees and pretend that the icicle was my father's head. I don't know how long I sat there my shoulder heaving up and down with the sorrow I felt in my heart. It was the worst pain I had ever felt, this aching of my heart as it split in to. This was the first time I had ever cried. I'm not trying to sound macho or anything buts its true. And I did not like it at all. What was the point of it? I thought angrily. Sitting here, letting the water poor meaninglessly onto the ground. It's not going to change anything! But know matter how hard I tried it wouldn't stop. Finally it did, for I found the water had stopped and I shakily stood up to fetch a tissue. I was wallowing in self-pity and that wasn't like me at all. I climbed into my bed still fully dressed and tried to forget what had happened but know matter how hard I tried I couldn't. The events of the past year kept playing in my mind like a movie and I new I would never forget…
It had started just after it ended, as they say a door closes and another door opens. The Empire was destroyed and it looked like it would end just like the fairytales did "happily ever after." And for a while it seemed like that was just what was going to happen until today. Today the day that would end all days…
I can still remember the tears of joy at the realisation that we had actually won. Victory was ours and we grasped with both hands, though to me it felt like a dream, unreal as though I would wake up any second. We hugged and cried and for what seemed like a year. For now we realised all that we had lost had not been in vain. So to celebrate our glorious triumph Edgar and I decided to hold a banquette at Figaro Castle. So we jumped on the air ship, which seemed much more relaxed now. Setzer even taught me a few games of poker, and of course he won all of them. We dropped Terra off at the town where Leo was resting; she said he deserved to know to and that he had not died in vain. I couldn't help but wonder what happened between those two. After no time at all we arrived to the grand castle of Figaro that stood so sturdy on the vast dessert sand. Once we walked through the doors we got the red carpet treatment. All the servants came and draped long robes of purple, emerald and maroon over our shoulders. We got the red carpet treatment literally, and every one was treated like princes and princesses. Rose petals were thrown at us as we walk the many stairs and corridors to the banquette room. That was newly decorated for the occasion. A merry band of fiddlers and a fife were playing as we all realised how hungry we were and started to devour the what seemed like never ending plates of roast, pies, and my favourite cereal sugar lumps (I even got a free figurine of choco bo!) After we had finished our drinks and we were tipsy with countless classes of the most expensive wine. We danced and I can't remember anything else except how prettier Celes looked blurry. Then I woke up in my old bedroom. Edgar snoring his head off in the bunk above me. Mumbling to some girl of his imagination.
I stumbled out of the room vaguely aware of my conciseness and bumping into every wall plus a few servants. In the dinning room he could just make out the blurry images of wot looked like Celes and Locke. I sat down to his usually sugar lumps and started slurping the bowl nosily not bothering to use a spoon. I put the bowl down, but couldn't be bothered to wipe his milk moustache or the sugar lump that was up his nose.
Celes rolled her eyes at me.
"Morning Celes, Morning Locke," I croaked and was shocked at the sound of my dry voice. But unexpectedly Celes glared at me.
"How dare you!" she scream and as she got up I realised it was not a she at all, it was Setzer.
"Popsies daisy," I squeaked and as I looked up I saw Locke glaring at me also, but it was not Locke, it was Relm. I'm really not with it this morning, I thought dully.
"What do you think we should do with this fluffed up macho man?" Relm asked Setzer.
But to my relief Edgar walked into the room dressed in his blue robes and shook his head at my pink ducky pyjamas.
"What?" I clueless, as Relm and Setzer took their seats. Edgar sat at the head of the table opposite from where I sat at the end.
"When are you going to grow up brother?" he sipped his orange juice delicately as in deep thought, while quickly I hid my teddy bear from view under the table and removed my bunny slippers. Edgar sighed and with a quick motion made the others leave the room.
"I know its harder for you then it is for me and with you probably feel pressured to be good to because…I'm so well…marvellous," He said rounding his shoulders.
"With what? What are you on about," I questioned trying to hide my confused face but not quite succussing.
"You know…girls," Edgar exhaled noisily, winding a strand of hair around his manicured nails, while I blushed an earthy scarlet.
"Do we have to have this conversation now?" I asked bashfully.
"Would you rather have this discussion now or in 40 years?" Edgar asked frustrated. "I know…it must be hard for you. But I can't go setting up your love life for you. But you've got to face your fears, put yourself out there let girls know you exist!" he sat back down sighing.
"I'm…I'm sorry Edgar you…" I started to apologise.
"Oh don't say sorry to me say sorry for the girl whose been wasting years waiting for you to get over your fear." And with those harsh words Edgar got up and left. He was right. I knew he was right. But what could I do? This wasn't something I could defeat by giving it a few pummels was it? I thought I wasn't afraid of anything and to be afraid of something as stupid as this. I shivered to think what my trainer would say. What father would say if he new that I was still living the single life. He had never said anything to me about that but I could see it in his eyes. But what could I do? I thought aggravated at myself. Then and there I made a promise to myself. I would not die alone; I would not be remembered for the prince without a princess. And with that I got up and went in search of my soul mate.
I stormed out into the hall, Edgar's words piercing my heart and leaving my throat burning. Were do you start looking for your soul mate? I wondered It could be the next person who walked into the room, and I wouldn't even know it! How do you know there your soul mate? As I walked around the corridor I was so tangled up in my thoughts that I walked full on into Celes. Who screamed and was just about to cast fire on my butt!
"Celes it's me Sabin!" I said covering her mouth to stop her chanting, too late! I looked down and saw that my best pair of Aladdin pants were on fire! "Ouch! Ow!" I scream as the flames attempted to set my bum alight. And then I saw Celes chanting again. I had recently realised this wasn't a good thing, but before I could say anything I found my lower body stuck in an ice cube. I tried to put my hands on my hips and glared. Then Celes started laughing, laughing! In between fits of laughter she managed to choke.
"I'm so sorry Sabin!" she was no doubled over with hysterics. "Its just that…well I guess I must still a bit jumpy after you know all those battles."
"But still I don't go setting people on fire just because I walked into them!" I notified her.
"You-you just look so funny like that!" she said from where she was sitting on the floor clutching her stomach.
"You know there really should be a move that's water! Now come on what are we going to do. I don't really want to be an ice cube for the rest of my life. Its bloody freezing in here!" I said starting to shiver.
"Oh um…well water melts in heat…" Celes started still giggling now and then.
"Oh great thinking Einstein!" I snapped sarcastically.
"Well we'll just have to but you in a nice warm tub." She replied matter-of-factually. She cast a float charm on me, after persuading me that she wouldn't stuff up again which took quite a while. We went into the bathroom and she ran hot water and placed me in it. At once I felt warmer. And as Celes leaned over to turn the water off I noticed how pretty she was even when she wasn't blurry. But then I quickly thought that the ice block must be muddling my brain.
"I think I'll leave you to melt," Celes said coolly.
"That's fine," I said as she turned on her heal and headed out the door.
After a couple of hours the ice began to melt. I could feel the now lukewarm water of the bath as it slowly ate away at the ice. It gave me a lot of time to think though, about how I was going to find my soul mate and I decided I would ask Edgar. It was nice to be able to feel my legs. Though they had gone a dark shad of blue. I went to my room and changed my burnt pants for identical non-burnt white flares. It didn't take me that long to find Edgar he was flirting with a maid just as though it was easy as tying your shoe.
"Are Sabin my brother, what do I owe your presence to?" he asked gliding swiftly down the stairs.
"Could I please speak to you…in private," I asked shyly. He smiled at my knowingly.
"Of course dear brother," and with a nod at the maid she left. "What do you want to speak to me about?"
"Well…" I looked down on the floor. "I know what you said this morning was true. And I want to do something about it…but I don't know where to start…"
"Well that's easy!" Edgar said laughing but not mockingly. "Let your heart led you…" waving his hands poetically.
"But… I'm…shy!" I protested. "Not everyone can go up and flirt with a girl easier then casting a simple spell, or farting… err… wait a minute…"
"Just go! You'll find her as long as you LOOK!" Edgar said pushing me out the door. Standing in the corridor I decided once again to look, right after I bashed up Edgar for his bad advice. So boldly I walked out of the castle determined, but having no idea where I was going to go. Was my heart saying north, south, east or west. I decided my heart said west, so I headed west… and bumped into a wall. "Ow!" I cried rubbing my head. Then I decided my heart said north… so I headed north. I was fine until…
"Hey! Sabin, what did you run into me for?"
"Err… sorry, brother, I was following my heart and it said to go that way." I explained.
"Maybe you should follow a map instead just let your heart decide when you find her ok?" he suggested handing me a map.
"I know how to get around my own house, you idiot!" I said walking off.
"Are you sure about that just a second ago I saw you walk into a wall." Edgar replied, biting his fingernail.
"Yeah, that wall decided to get into my way, its the wall's fault, not mine," I explained.
"Yes and pigs fly." Edgar sighed.
"Really?" Sabin asked curiously.
"Just go Sabin." Edgar put his fingers I his mouth and whistled. Within two seconds a chocobo was at his side.
"Now Spot…" Edgar said speaking to the chocobo.
"You called it spot?" Sabin asked raising an eyebrow. Edgar glared at his brother and continued.
"Would you please take my dear brother hear to Narshe?" Edgar asked Spot. Spot looked down at his claws.
"Theres an extra bucket of birdseed in it for you." Edgar added. But still Spot didn't move. "And a nice juicy apple."
"Brawk-Brawk!" Spot cried jumping at the sound of an apple. Sabin climbed on the back of Spot.
THUMP! Spot was on the ground flattened by Sabin sudden weight.
"Maybe I'll just walk." Sabin sighed getting off the squished chocobo.
"Nonsense!" Edgar cied whistling once more. A chocobo was son by his side, chewing on a brick.
"Now Fluff," Edgar started. Sabin raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth closed.
"Have you been eating the castle again?" Edgar question. Fluff nodded. "I told you, you can eat the shed, you can eat the walls but you do not eat the castle."