Homecoming

So, i've kinda seen it all. I mean, I'm a fat weird newbie, senior year student with no friends, and basically all kinds of bulling have already happened to me. So it wouldn't be a surprise if the glee club were also making a joke out of me. But the thing is, this time, I was feeling something weirdly familiar about those people, you know, like they could be my relatives or, maybe… real friends. So I decided to take a chance and join the choral.

The audition went fine, and I felt amazing on the stage, loosing up and everything. You know, even those three cool old glee clubbers did back vocals in my presentation, so I was, for a few minutes, like a real rock star! And just as I thought that the day couldn't get any better, she shows up at the rehearsal room. I confess I've stopped breathing for a while. She was so beautiful I blushed when she looked at my direction and said "Hi". Her name is Jane, and apparently we're the first members of the (new new) new directions. Ms. Berry tells me to sit next to her, so I have to make a real effort not to stare at her awesome curly hair and lighted black skin. Before I could say anything, another two new members get into the room: the cheerio twins, Mason and Madison. They seem to be nice, but kinda weird together. Anyway, my attention remains pointed at Jane, who's smiling at Mason in a way that makes me a little bit sick. Wait… what am I doing? I have no right to feel like this, I badly even know her! And even if I did, she would never think of me, a fat weirdo looser, as a considerable company.

The days pass down and we, the new members of the glee club start to know each other a little bit, which is both good and bad, because everyone is really cool, especially Jane, what makes it even harder not to think of her all the time. She's so full of joy and bravery, always says what she thinks and makes herself heard. The twins are also really funny and a good company, even thou' I haven't understood their relationship quite well yet. We all have started to have lunch together once in a while, and I don't feel so lonely anymore.

So, after a little time gathering with the old glee club (our mentors) today, we all went to the homecoming celebration outside, singing "Home" all way to the bonfire, when something really (really!) unexpected happened, and, well, kinda lend me to here: under the bleachers with my headphones at loud, desperate hiding from everyone. I'll describe the situation for you:

We're at the hallway (me, Jane and the twins), and I'm trying my best to look cool and not nervous at all, with one hand in my pocket and a calm walk, between the twins and Jane, when Mason and Madison start jumping ahead and leave me and Jane behind, with a hell of a compromising line to sing ("and in the streets we're running free/ like there's only you and me/ geez, you're something to see"). So she starts with an amazing voice, and I try to keep up with her, when she touches my arm and give me The Look, and then just run laughing.

I know what you're probably thinking: "Jesus, Roderick, it's just a performance, get it together. What do you mean with such a thing as The Look anyway?" but I mean it. It was not like a normal look you just give to anyone, or even a friend. It was almost like she was… checking on me. So I blushed instantaneously and sloppily ran with them to the bonfire direction, and while we're celebrating, she kept standing next to me all the time, hugging me every once in a while and stuff, and oh my, she looks so pretty when she smiles, and the light of the fire were dancing in her eyes. So that was only one thing I could do: hide. Which lives me where I am now.

Before you call me a coward, I have to say that I did it for the best. I mean, I'm obviously hallucinating, and trying to do what I was really into doing would be just embarrassing and stupid. Of course that, if I tried to kiss her, she would have pulled me away, and that would make me feel even more miserable than I am now. What am I thinking? Such a glamorous, nice, thin girl would never fall for a guy like me, especially this fast. She probably is a touching person that treats everyone well, and as I am never treated with care by pretty ladies I confused everything in my head. Better let it go before I get really obsessed with her and fucks up something.

So I'm getting ready do sneak off the campus and waiting for a cab outside McKinley High when I hear steps in my direction thought my phones. I look back and… shit. It could be anyone, even a thief, anyone, but her. Well, it seems like God's enjoying to see me in trouble.

"Already leaving?" Jane asks while coming closer, really close to me, so she can see my face by the dashboard light. My breathe is increasing as she comes.

"Yeah, have to wake up early tomorrow…" I make an effort to answer without choking. She raises her eyebrows and bangs her head in comprehension, and we just stare at the ground for a moment, which is really weird considering that Jane always got something to say.

"Can you…take me home first? It's just a few blocks away and I usually go by myself or with my parents, but it's late and I don't wanna wake'em up…" She looks at me with those demanding eyes and, fuck, she must know she owes me, otherwise she would stop looking at me like that every time she wants me to do something. Well my answer was kinda obvious, so I decided not to test my tongue's ability and just waved at her. She opened the biggest smile and pulled my arm to the direction. I felt my skin burn up under her hand, and just started walking with her, before she left me behind. I would follow her everywhere like that. But I'm still miserable cos' I have no idea how she feels about it. I'm starting to believe that all these touching is friendly and not romantically for her, I mean, how could se be so bond about that? I've got to be on the friend zone. I'm her chubby teddy bear buddy. Fuck me.

So this thought ends up influencing me to softly sneak off her touch, and she seems to notice and step a little bit away. Great, I'm a genius. We keep walking in a deadly silence for a couple of blocks when an own in a tree makes a suddenly loud noise, and Jane catches my hand in hers quickly. I freeze. My heart starts to pump so fast that I'm afraid it pulls out of my chest. I'm afraid of looking at her, so I look down and stare at my feet, although continuing holding her hand. She realizes her act and say "sorry", while starts to pull the hand away, when my body decides to have his first act of bravery, and pulls her hand back, holding it gently, but tight. She looks at me, completely astonished, and I can see from my left sight how surprised she is. Well, it makes two of us Jane, because so am I. What a stupid move, uh? Congratulations Roderick, now you left her in an uncomfortable situation. There's no way she could possibly refuse that act without making an embarrassment. I close my eyes, waiting for her to beat me up or just went away, praying to be fast, when I fell her fingers attaching to mine. I open my eyes and Jane's smiling at me, really blushed (well, not as much as I am, but still), and quickly moving her look to her own shoes, like I just did a few seconds ago. We continue walking holding hands until we got to her house, when she kissed my cheek and said goodbye. I was about to go away when, before entering, she whispered "Roderick". I looked back, and she waved and said "See you tomorrow", and closed the door before I could answer her anything. I went home floating, absolutely drunk about the idea of seeing her again, and what we just did. I guess it's finally going to be a good year.