Disclaimer: Laura Roslin is not mine but I want her to be happy. Setting: First Caprica, then Calactica – the story starts pre-mini and ends after ep 4x16, DEADLOCK. Pairing: first Roslin/Adar, then Adama/Roslin because I'm following what BSG gave us up to DEADLOCK. Other characters mentioned or appearing are Saul Tigh, Ellen Tigh, Lee Adama. The timeline stays intact, so does the story told up to said episode (which also means it's not fun & games). I'm just adding a juicy what if with an open end. Rating: M for smut parts. Spoilers: Obviously all of BSG up to episode 4x16. Summary: This is Laura's journey. It's a simple as that. It's also as complex as that. :o) :o) Thanks for reading.
A Quiet Little Life
She observed him from across the room. Eyes wide, he fought to stay awake – he was dead tired. Pondering how many people noticed that his shell was present but his mind was not, she smiled. I wonder what he's thinking about – it was then that his eyes met hers, a jolt of light that startled her. A smile on his lips, so warm it made her blush. A nod with his head, he rolled his eyes and asked her if she was as bored as he was. A giggle, she couldn't help it, it escaped her throat. A smirk on his lips then and a scribbled note. „Run away with me." Her heart stopped beating for a bit. It was his leg that brushed against hers, his hand on her calf when she answered his move with a caress of her bare feet on his thigh. What was she doing? He always made her do so many things.
With the meeting finally over, he let his fingers brush against hers. A question so subtle, will you let me in? Left behind in the conference room, abandoned by their peers, she dropped her keys in his pocket and allowed her fingers to play with the sensitive skin under the thin fabric of his trousers. He closed his eyes, if only for a beat, and almost held her – he couldn't wait to make her his.
It had been weeks of stolen moments like that. A smile, her eyes resting on his, the way she crossed her legs or sat on them, shoes off her feet so small and delicate. It was her scent that allured him, the way she hummed his name, the grace in her steps when she walked. He loved to see her eat, so careful when she enjoyed her food, a moan born out of pleasure a simple dish was giving her. He loved to watch her go, took in the way she moved her hips to bid him farewell, the echo of her steps still vivid in his mind when he switched off the lights to sleep. He loved her hands up in the air when she talked, emphasizing a point she made or playing down an issue too unpleasant for her to enjoy delivering it. It was her quiet way of approving that made him lust after her, the way she tilted her head or praised him with a simple touch of her hand on his shoulder. How he wanted that hand to touch his skin instead of fabric.
It was an all-nighter on a couch that gave away his feelings for her. He knew she had seen his arousal when her hair brushed against his neck, hair so long and soft and ticklish. She had been humbled, astonished even, and had almost graced him with a kiss. The fact that she withdrew from him inches before her lips met his only made him desire her more.
It was the muffled sound of foot steps in his office that made him want her, the way she danced around and affair with him after meetings in hotel suites, on campaign trips or a party at her house. If only he knew how hard she was trying to say no.
Her keys in hands, Richard took a deep breath when he entered her room on the other side of the hall. She was in bed. It was late. Unsure if she would wait for him or pray he'd let this moment pass, he closed the door and allowed his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Her form so peaceful under blankets and sheets, her hair so beautifully messed up and curly. She was more than an affair to him even before he turned her into one. His clothes on the floor faster than he realized, he reached out to touch her face and moved some strands of hair aside to find her smile.
„You came," her voice was hoarse and rough of sleep when she moved to give him enough room to rest beside her. Blanket tugged around them, Richard snuggled as close to her as she would let him, her naked skin electrifying his with every movement she made.
They lay entangled for a moment, allowing their bodies to find a language of their own. When his hand found her thighs, he left goosebumps wherever he touched her, featherlight, treating her like a precious piece of china. His heart pounded loudly in his chest and it was the soft rhythm of her moans that distracted him enough to listen to a melody she hummed for him alone. Exploring her skin inch by inch, it was as if his fingers wanted to learn her every move. He wanted to learn her by heart, preferences, shortcuts, ticklish spots. The way she raised her hips when he caressed her butt, her gasps and that throaty little giggle when he brushed his knuckles against the inside of her thighs. The way she blushed on her breasts and belly when he teased her core. The sound of her breath, the taste of her lips, her earlobes and her neck. He loved to find her enjoying love, the way he used to dance around the final reward, indulging in prolonging every beautiful moment of bliss with her. When his lips left her mouth and neck, Richard loved to find her round and soft yet trained and hard. It was an intoxicating mix. Her breasts so full and inviting even when she lay on her back, her nipples erect when his palms teased her, fingers following to play, the soft hardness leaving a hunger for more in his mouth when he sucked her. He kissed his way up and down her body, felt her muscles and her hips, so beautifully round they merged perfectly with her belly and that little button on top of it. If he had fantasized about her before, had appreciated her flirty smiles and her swinging hips, Richard now praised her for what she gave him. Her neck so sweet when he buried his face in it, her breasts competing with the roundness of her belly and her soft enough thighs to be his favorite part of her, it was the touch of her hands that made him sing her name. Firm but tender, her hands moved over his butt and back up to his head, fingers tickling him, nails scratching – he couldn't care less if she marked him as hers. Her mouth on his neck now, her tongue fighting with his when he let her in again, their mouths hungry for more of each other and then hungry for air. His body ached for her, it was almost painful to have her touch him so unrelentingly. She gasped his name when he sought her approval to melt with her, Richard didn't hesitate and rocked her hard. Her rhythm was slow with him, desperate in a way but tender. It was mix that made him fall. When her moans became louder and his breathing more frantic, his body was completely aroused by the feeling of her breasts pressed against his chest and one of her legs tugged around his waist. It was his name that fell from her lips when she came, so hard she pressed her head into her pillow, trembled and raised her hips to take more of him inside of her. Moving her other leg around him to hold him closer, she encouraged him to rock her deeper. His release overwhelmed him like a wave of endless pleasure. Rocking with him, Laura held him close when he screamed her name into her neck, pushing inside of her until he had given her everything his body yearned to give.
It was a year that passed until they were routine. His wife garnishment to his job, a born representative, an excellent First Lady to Caprica City. Laura his colleague and lover, discrete in her job and skilled in his bed. No one guessed she was more to him than just a friend.
With the years passing by, Laura learned to live with the inadequacies of her position in both his life and his cabinet. She loved him, couldn't say no to him, was trapped – it didn't matter how she put it, he made her smile.
It was her house she missed the most when he ran for President. Hotel suites they were making love in now, always a different town or a different bed. Another inadequacy she got used to. It was his job that came first, she knew that much and when her mother fell ill, she welcomed it. Richard was her break when her mother's condition deteriorated before her eyes. She welcomed polished hotel rooms and room service most in those times.
It was Richard who held her after her mother had passed away. He came to see her in her house and never asked a single question apart from "are you okay?" - she loved him for that. She loved him more when he wiped away her tears, a silent bystander to her grief when it hit her hard two weeks after the funeral. He didn't know what to say, let her cry, watched her mourn her mother she had been so close to all her life. Losing her meant facing pain so ferociously, asking him to make love to her was the only way to stay alive.
When the crises came, one after another hitting his administration, it was her arms he came running to, her advice he was seeking. Long estranged from his wife, it was Laura who was his ground to rise from. When she found the knots in her breasts under a shower in some hotel, he was long back at the office, dealing with another crisis. Flirting with him on the morning of her final results, Laura was clinging to a desperate hope of false alarm. Business as usual, she tried to function on that. When the doctor confirmed her deepest concerns, she shook her head and shut it out. She needed air, she needed space. It was her mother who haunted her and tainted her perception. It was her decision to settle the teachers' strike that stirred her uneasiness. When she walked into his office, he thoughts were raging back and forth between her diagnosis and the union. His lips on hers, his hands so obviously in need of her, she pulled away from him to get some room. She knew he would dislike her decision, she didn't care so much about it as she feared his reaction to her cancer. When he asked her to resign, she saw his anger and his confusion. It was much later that she understood he was concerned about her walking away from him rather than losing his face.
When she walked out of his office, a bad feeling in her gut made her shudder. She waved it off, blamed it on the meds she had taken with not enough food on her way to him. When she learned about the destruction of the Colonies, her heart stopped like that of everybody else on Colonial One. When his death was confirmed, she mourned him like a widow but couldn't show her grief or wear a veil. It was her aide she passed some stories on to and also Lee. They both reminded her so much of him like sons they never had. It was a secret between them, so she felt, one no one revealed or spoke about.
With the days and weeks and months that passed, Laura grew accustomed to the fast changes of life on the edge. Every day was a struggle to survive and time seemed to move faster now after the apocalypse. Fighting a two-front war against her own body and the military, she didn't have time to dwell in her misery or pain. She moved on until there was nowhere left to move on to. With death overcome as well as defeat, with New Caprica behind her and a trial lost that meant redemption for her more than anything, Laura felt she was where she had started. Pushed in a corner, a cheerleader for herself, her cancer back to nag on her. It was Bill Adama she tried to rely on now. With Billy dead and Lee Adama estranged from her, she leaned on him when he offered her his shoulder. It was he who supported Dr. Cottle in a more radical approach to her cancer. Diloxin instead of Chamalla extract. She resented that idea but agreed. It was the meds that gave her a hard time sooner than she thought. The cure being worse than the disease, she remembered her mother saying those exact words to her. It almost killed her to face her own possible death like that.
It was Bill who added to her pain but also cured it. It was a strange mixture like that that kept her on her toes. Withdrawing from her when she faced the unrelenting truth, he rushed to her side when she least expected it. She was too close to it all to see her feelings though. When she returned from the baseship she had found her revelation on, it was clear to her now to embrace his love. When Earth destroyed the last spark of hope inside of her, crumbled all of her strength and literally turned humanity's survival into ashes, Laura rose from it all with a confidence she had long forgotten about. Left alone in her desperation, she faced the truth and did what was her only way out. She decided to live. So when she threw out her meds and went for a run, she knew it was moments like that she had missed for too long. So when Bill let her in, allowed her to breathe for the slightest of moments, she embraced her love for him with all her heart. It was light like that she had missed, the feeling of joy and bliss, a moment of being woman again. He gave her that and more, filled her with life, made her feel special again. With their society brought to its brink of existence, Laura felt strangely alive inside. She absorbed all the energy love was giving her until there was no more.
When Bill reconquered Galactica after a mutiny had started on their watch, she was glad to hear his voice. When she returned and had no words left to express her relief about finding him alive, she saw that something had changed. It was not so much a sudden change but a final crack that was visible now in his eyes. It alerted her but she didn't have much time to process it. With the Quorum of Twelve executed by Tom Zarek and his rebels, Laura pondered about the future of humanity and her own. With Lee Adama by her side, she solved the problem the way she thought was right but the lack of hope and support was like her cancer, unpredictable and spreading.
It was the arrival of a raptor that turned things around once more. The final revelation of the missing fifth Cylon. Ellen Tigh, it was almost a cynical joke Laura found, but the surprise she brought with her shocked Laura more than any of the stories Ellen Tigh was ready to reveal.
When he stepped out of the raptor, Laura gasped. He was thinner than when she had last seen him all those years ago, had lines around his eyes, his hair was white and his face stubbled. He looked tired, restless even, he looked good.
"I brought you Cavil's prime prisoner for your entertainment, Laura." Ellen hummed in that way of hers. And she spoke to Richard like a pet. "I always thought he's rather good-looking, but don't tell Saul here. He gets jealous so fast." Ellen laughed and hopped off the raptor's wings. Averting her attention to Bill and then Saul Tigh, Ellen left Laura and her souvenir alone in their shock.
"Richard," her voice was filled with pure emotion when she met him halfway to embrace him.
"Laura, you look... stunning." She knew it was a lie.
It was after their questioning of Ellen that Richard was assigned Laura's currently unused quarters on Galactica. Standing next to him to show him around, she briefed him about their current status and the past few years in a summary that left no place for laughter. Bill followed their steps wherever they went and only added a comment when Laura addressed him to do so. That he didn't like to have Adar around was putting it mildly.
When they returned to his quarters, Bill didn't hesitate to express his disapproval to her ears alone.
"Of all the people in the universe she had to bring Richard Adar. Is this a frakking joke?" He poured himself a drink. "Not enough that we're using Cylon technology on Galactica now, no, we're also hosting all of our former presidents of prick it seems."
"Thank you," Laura sat down on the couch and shot him a mocking smile.
"Present parties excluded." He rested beside her. "Although I must say, you were happy enough to see him."
"I had an affair with him for twelve years." She said calmly, taking his glass to take a sip.
Staring at her for a moment, Bill got up to refill his glass and remained standing. "Twelve years?"
Laura nodded and saw him heading to the bathroom. "Do you want to talk about this now or are we done with this? I really don't want to wake to you staring at me asking twelve years." Giggling, she followed him into the bathroom and met his stern gaze. "Sorry, I know, it's a sensitive matter."
"You never mentioned it before." Bill started to shave.
"It never came up. It's not exactly pillow talk material, you know." She smiled coyly at him in the mirror.
"He was married."
"Yes, he was. But it's a long story." Laura pulled him into an embrace and kissed his neck.
"I've got time." He glared at her in the mirror.
"How often do you want to shave tonight?" She returned playfully and he chuckled at her evasive remark.