Kouta's past nine weeks were spent in a nearly catatonic state. The amnesia was gone, and so was Nyuu. Two months of dissonance, of stomach churning worry and the residents of Maple inn pretending that there was no missing presence among them. Home seemed out of place. He was reminded of this all every time the clock chimed. Tonight they had soumen noodles, the last meal Nyuu should've had with them. Yuka made it in hopes to raise Kouta's spirits, but only sunk them lower as tonight was the annual festival. She'd hoped he'd attend, but sadly, he'd disappointed.
Instead Kouta mustered a smile as he waved them off, up the path towards town. He knew he had the house to himself for at least four hours with Yuka adoring the fireworks and stalls. Shutting the door behind him, he fled to his room, pushing his futon aside to retrieve the hidden music box from under the floorboards. Within lay hidden just a mournful tune, a handful of pictures, and a little seashell. There weren't many photos of Nyuu, but the ones that did exist were either stuffed in a manilla file in some high security lab or sitting in his possession. A loud banging on the front door made Kouta jump, he ignored it in the hopes that they'd leave however, the sad melody continued to be interrupted by the persistent knocking.
Must be Yuka came back for something and forgot the key.
The man stood, making his way towards the entrance. The shadow's figure certainly seemed like a girl, so he shrugged it off while sliding the door open, only to be met with shock.
It wasn't Yuka.
"Kouta," the woman was nearly unrecognizable to him, "I know you hate me, but I had to see you again. I have nowhere else to go." Her face was covered in tears and dirt. He'd never seen her cry like that, the foreign emotions set off alarms in his head.
Something was very wrong.
He threw his arms around her body, gluing them to each other as tightly as he could. "I don't hate you, Nyuu."
"Please don't say that name. That name is a lie." Her voice cracked, her composure shattering as she embraced him back, body shaking.
"Lucy." A head shake eventually broke through the sobbing.
She replied, "Kaede. My name is Kaede."
"Kaede," Kouta corrected himself without hesitation, without questioning it, "Come on," his grip receded, gesturing her inside.
He realized quickly that the reason for her behavior must've had something to do with the blood on her small fists, leading her to the bathroom to clean her up.
Washing her beat up hands removed the blood only to reveal slightly swollen knuckles, tinted purple. Kaede let Kouta gingerly scrub the appendages with antibacterial soap while she attempted to contain herself. Once clean, Kouta prepared an icepack for the worst of the two, handing it to Kaede to apply before dampening a rag and by instinct alone, began at the dirt on her face.
By the time he was done, Kaede was no longer a mess. The crying faded to a halt, replaced by a strange gaze. Kouta realizing what he was doing, became a bit flustered.
"I can't stay long," she said quietly.
For some reason, that sentence made his heart feel like it was breaking. Even after everything was done, and he'd told her he couldn't forgive her, it seemed to be a lie. "This is your home. You don't have to go anywhere."
The shake of her head is when he finally threw the cloth in the hamper. "If I don't go then they'll come for me again here. This time, one of you might get shot," flashbacks to her only other friend, Aiko's death reminded her of that fact, "I need to leave soon."
"No," Kouta replied, his fingertips glided along the bruises, "Now tell me what happened." Despite it being quiet, it overpowered her.
She did. "I don't want use my vectors any more. I tried to fight without them. I don't want to kill. I'm tired of running, not that running would solve it, but I decided to give up on the human race. I'm finishing this. You won't see me again..."
Kouta touched Kaede's chin, turning her eyes to meet him, his lips meeting hers, gently molding themselves together. If she was going to die, and this was his only chance to heal a broken part of the girl in front of him, then he wanted to, that is, if she would stop being so stoic for a brief moment as to allow some closure.
"I'm a liar." He murmured. "I forgive you. I forgive you."
Immediately the calm atmosphere that they'd reveled in turned into a heart wrenching one. Silent tears escaped the corners of her red eyes. If Kouta hadn't watched them slide of the edge of her jaw, he would've never known. It felt as if she was intentionally forcing it down inside. They didn't hold the same connotations as the previous ones did.
"No. Please-" words fractured, easily overpowered. The head shaking began again, stopped by their foreheads resting together.
"Kaede, I forgive you." Another kiss came, much less hesitant the last. She, pushed on his chest to stop, but there didn't seem to be any fight left in the diclonious. He was sure now, the person in front of him wasn't the same one on that train all those years ago. The person in front of him wasn't anyone he'd had the opportunity to meet, or ever would again; their presence only confirmed what he'd guessed.
Nyuu, Lucy, Kaede- it didn't matter. They were all her. All of them, even the ugly, cruel, and twisted ones. Still, they'd all patently agreed to walk into the government's volley of bullets. For once, the man finally found a glimmer of his childhood friend that shined back as a reflection of himself.
Suicide by firing squad.
Ironically, it's a quality she'd caused to develop. Well, Kouta saw the things he didn't have, that killing yourself required to actually follow through with it. That's the thing that scared him. She'd obtained the motive, means, and resolve. This. Now. It was saying goodbye. This moment was all he got. It felt like a knife, gutting him.
"D-don't." A stutter slipped past her quivering lip.
"Why." Came back. Not a question as much as a challenge.
Silence. They didn't have to point out the only one in existence.
Yuka. His relationship with Yuka. Everything happening was completely out of character for the both of them, however timing never seemed to be on their side. If it ended at that, both would regret it. For once, they were a step ahead, and Kouta refused to let Kaede submit after suggesting her death being better off.
When nothing else was said, a small dashing of red surfaced a long his cheeks, "That's not the first time I've thought about it."
"You don't want me."
"I do. Don't go. Stay, choose me."
"N-" it barely escaped before he cut the plea off again, in a lingering form. Kouta unrelented, trying to bare his emotions for her. Everything was tender, gentle, and welcoming. Her firm grasp on her own competence dissolved as their movements became much more fluid; a hand on a hip, heads titled, tongues brushing, air: a necessity, forgotten.
Pulling back they were embarrassed, yet wanting more every second. Her fingers gripped his hand, leading towards the room he occupied just before her arrival. Kaede's eyes looked as though she'd become torn between the desire for the love she never got to experience growing up & her gene's purpose of humanity's downfall.
As Nyuu, she'd forgotten it, as Lucy she'd satisfied it, now, as Kaede, she wished it never existed at all. Killing the humans meant killing the only person to show her kindness or compassion. Kaede had an evil within her that cemented itself as a barrier between her and the inclusive participation she so desperately desired, but as she finally gave up, Kouta still defiantly chipped away at it. She was reminded of this when her eyes landed on the disheveled music box, its lid only being open enough for the hastily hidden photographs to peek out, just enough to not play the song, but still enough to be recognizable as being of herself.
Kouta noticed, becoming reclusive, letting go of her hand. Despite his knowledge of biology, he didn't know much about romantics. He never had a highschool sweetheart or any love interests after the incident. Most of that time he was a mess, in and out of psychiatry units, hardly attending class even. He was new to everything the same way Kaede was. It was all guesswork. Filling in blanks, and the overwhelming need to make these minutes mean something special. It's not that he didn't want to, but rather he was scared to at the prospect of having to move on afterwards, but being unable to do so.
Make the choice you can live with.
With that, the courage to continue surfaced. He stepped forward to embrace Kaede, peppering her neck with light kisses until she spun around to meet his mouth. A steady pattern of escalation began. One arm slung behind his neck, the other creeping under his shirt, getting a feel for his skin while one of his occupied by her waist while he experimentally tried cupping her breast, remembering how she'd liked it in the past.
Rewarded by a moan, he quickly adjusted tactics, adopting the idea of wanting to try it again without a bra. Kaede moved to the futon on the floor, Kouta threw his shirt off quickly before kneeling on the mat, she pulled her head through hers as well, he helped, discarding it. He lay her back, looming for a second.
A small, sad smile surfaced. "I think I loved you in a tragic way from the beginning." The revelation was punctuated by a nibble on the earlobe, a hot tear slipped to the side of her face. He backed off, ceasing contact, but otherwise stock still, afraid he'd assumed too much in thinking they both wanted this. He was hard, but he'd rather have to step out to take care of himself than to push her into consenting. "I'll stop."
"No, it's just- it's the first time someone has ever said they loved me."
He almost wanted his species to self destruct. If demons existed, Humans were the closest thing to it. Instead he swallowed the anger & regret arising within to wipe away her sadness with a thumb. "It doesn't have to be the last."
Kaede brought his face down to hers in an attempt to avoid him talking her out of her choice. He wanted to stop her, but he was thinking with clouded judgement. Instead he moved to her neck, then the collarbone, a gasp came in return. She adjusted herself so Kouta's knee sat rooted between her legs. He went down to her breasts, she reached behind herself for the clasp, but he took over, setting it aside he slipped one of her now perked nipples into his mouth, suckling it while he kneaded the other, her moans alone could've gotten him off at this point, but that was before her hand slipped below the waistband of his jeans, past his boxers.
She stroked him as he tried to focus on what he'd been doing, only to cave in to pleasure.
Suddenly, it was a competition between them, trying to push each other over the edge first. Kaede retracted from his pants just when he was about to cum, instead starting to unbutton his fly. Kouta understood, kicking them off, not before noticing the large wet spot that had soaked through the shorts she'd arrived in. Once free of the obstructions, they were finally bared to one another. Nothing could be hidden any more.
It was the only time he didn't look away when confronted by her body. He wanted it to himself, horns and all. "You're beautiful." He whispered into her skin, pulling him closer she replied, "You keep taking all my firsts."
He grinned, smashing their lips together, she bit down, earning a whimper. She fingered the head of his member, only causing it to grow before directing it to her entrance, she was waiting for him to get into a comfortable position between her thighs. Kouta moved the strands of hair from her face, he wanted to be able to look into her eyes, there resided equal amounts of fear, anticipation, and need. Lacing their free hands together, he had to be sure she knew what she wanted, and what to expect.
"Kaede, it'll hurt at first. Just tell me if it's too much, we'll quit." A nod.
He ran the tip along her opening, trying to lubricate himself to make things easier before slowly pushing it inside her. Immediately he huffed out air in an attempt to make this last. She overwhelmed him in warmth, walls clenching. A centimeter became an inch before he met her hymen, he didn't slow down, trying to get it over with, her knuckles went white, squeezing his fingers he muffled her yelp with his mouth, still going until her body contained all of him before giving her a break, her face communicating obvious discomfort with the tightness between then. After a minute her eyes met his, "I'm okay."
He withdrew almost completely before repeating his actions, only slightly faster. It went on like this for a five minutes or so until the pain receded, replaced with those enraging sounds that only turned him on more.
Once they were both reduced to heavily breathing messes did they set into a rhythm, her hips bucking as he thrusted, their sweaty skin crashing together. They didn't care. Nothing else mattered, none of it existed to them outside their entangled limbs. Her nails scratched his back, drawing very faint drops of blood as he went as deep as he could before realizing that she reacted much louder when he moved in a specific way.
He assaulted her G-spot until she yelled out, "Kouta!"
His name never sounded better than that, "Again, please, do it again-" No hesitation, "Kouta!"
A final hard thrust sent him into an orgasm, his muscles locked up with a moan, his semen overflowing between them, Kaede kept rolling her hips to keep going, while he caught his breath knowing she wasn't done.
Instead of just continuing, she sat up, making him slip out. Her hands pushed him down onto his back, this made him wince in a welcomed way due to the fresh nail marks gouged into his skin, but he barely had time to process it before her leg swung over his waist. Feeling her clit against his penis set him off again.
Kaede took the initiative, lifting her body just enough to guide him back into place and lowering onto his lap completely, hissing almost silently as the last fraction of length disappeared.
A moment passed taking with it the unpleasantness of the change. Her body gyrated on top of him as he managed to start pumping again through the fuzziness of her actions. He went back to the spot that he'd discovered earlier causing convulsions throughout his partner, submerging her in bliss. He extended it as long as he could.
Despite her preoccupation, Kouta whispered sweet words to her personalities, wishing somehow that they were unified only in this time left with him, listening to everything he ever wanted to say to the tsunami of a girl- no, woman on top of his body.
"You're not a monster." "Your chest is soft, I'm sorry my hands aren't." "You're the only person in control of your life." "You aren't fractured." "I will never forget you again." "I lied to you to avoid hurting you, I shouldn't have done that." "I forgive you." "I love you." "Don't leave me."
Eyes barely able to stay open and syllables stumbling over themselves, the declarations never ceased, hands tirelessly rubbing legs, fingertips tangled in pink locks, mouth brushing against every morsel of flesh in reach.
Falling comatose is Kouta's only, biggest, final regret.
Slowly his eyes opened to an extremely close Yuka in his face, readily equipping herself for war. First, the panic of being found holding a naked Nyuu surfaced until it dawned on him- no one was in bed. Horror compelled grief to wreak him.
He fell apart, heart feeling as if it were imploding. Kouta wiped the confused, knots of emotion from his eyes, only to be surprised by the balled up, white pair of panties in his fist. Yuka's expression contorted at the sight, her brain pieced together the night. Kouta was saved only by the corner of his blanket, nearly exposing himself to his cousin. His hair was a mess, his clothes still strewn about, skin sticky, awful body odor, scabbed scratches along his spine. There wasn't any doubt in Yuka's now deeply bothered conscience. She would not have Kouta to herself now. 'Lucy' had already stolen part of him.