Author's Note: The song in this prologue is "Borrow Mine" by Bebo Norman. I did not write it, nor do I own it; I just liked the lyrics! This prologue is set some weeks after the events of "The Lost Found," but before "The Demon Faced."

Also, by the by, someone posted a review that this story, or Enguina, I take it, is a Mary Sue. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, lol, but I thought the definition of a Mary Sue was someone who swooped in to save the day and was a flawless, perfect character. Enguina is actually none of those things in this story-she has a temper, she is not the hero, and she has had a challenging and rough past. None of these things make her unflawed, nor does she actually save Legolas from danger, though she may try. Anyway, someone reviewed and said this was a Mary Sue, but I guess if it is, it is. I just thought that it didn't fit the definition of a Mary Sue; correct me if I'm wrong! Besides, who needs a Mary Sue when you have the characters Tolkien created, right? Aragorn, Legolas, Faramir-aren't they heroic enough? LOL

Anyway, enjoy the story if you're interested!

Prologue

Darkness…that was what she saw first when her eyes cleared, and she felt it and tasted it and hated it. She found it closing in around her and crushing her, consuming her—taking her down into the depths of the dark that flooded her mind and heart. She could barely fight it, weakened as she was by the horrible dreams that plagued her almost every night. She could feel her greatest fears coming ever closer, pouring over her so quickly that she shivered against her will beneath the warmth of the blankets. In her head she could see him…feel him. In her mind his hands were on her, his body pressing down into hers and crushing her into the snow near Ithilien…her stomach spun.

Staring into the darkness of her room, wide awake, she hardly dared to move. Her eyes searched the walls for any sign that there was anyone but her in the room, anyone at all—she could see nothing, not that it meant anything. No one had ever been here before, but there was something different in the shadows tonight…something frightening. Hardly able to convince herself to move, she wrenched forward to sit up so that she could see the floor—no one present there either. Her heart leapt into her throat and she fought back the wave of sickness that flooded her as she yanked the blankets from her body.

The pressure in her chest was extreme, but she slid her feet to the floor, unable to lie in the bed any longer. She rose, staggering along the width of her bedroom until she could lean against the wall for support. She stood there, trying to catch her breath, the shadows in the room closing in around her, frightening her. Closing her eyes tight against them and folding her arms cross her chest seemed a good defense against the dark, but it did nothing to soothe her, and the thought of being unable to see the trouble when it emerged from the shadows to get her left her only one choice—open them again.

Wrenching them open, she let them flash around the darkness, trying desperately to see movement in the shadows. Somewhere in the depths of her thoughts she knew that this was foolish, but her terror far outweighed it; she knew there was nothing in this room that was waiting for her…nothing that was going to emerge from the shadows and wrap hurtful arms around her and tear at her soul. Her breath came in gasps, and as she leaned her weary body against the wall, her head back, she began shaking once more.

She felt as though she was going to be sick; she wanted to heave from the fear and terror that filled her in the darkness. She had to escape it, beat it, fight it back…but she could never do it. Her heart cried aloud to Ilúvatar; every night…every night for the last two weeks it had been one of those dreams, over and over. Never before had she had the nightmare so many nights; her heart was full of dread. Please…Father, Eru, Ilúvatar, strong tower of strength…help me! Help me! Do not let me remain here in this darkness…terrified…too terrified to move!

She had to get out, and if she could trust her legs, she would do so. She reached out a shaking hand towards the chair, grasping at the wrap that lay across its back. It slipped through her fingers and to the floor. Immediately, she yanked her arm back to the wall and pressed herself against it, gasping for breath. Fool! Fool! There is nothing to terrify you! Grab it and run! Get moving feet and hands, grab the shawl and run! Oh, just forget the shawl! Forget it and run!

In another second she shoved herself from the wall and bolted across the bedroom, down the hall, through the kitchen and out the front door of the guesthouse. Once outside, she thought she might be better; the cool night air filled her lungs, her bare feet slapping the stone as though she was running for her life…and in her heart and mind, she was.

Better outside? Ha! All around her she could feel the darkness pressing in; it was a new moon, and it was so dark. She wanted nothing more than to either scream aloud or be sick right there on the cobblestones. She held her breath, though her lungs felt as if they would burst, and she ran faster, pouring on the speed so that nothing could reach her, nothing could touch her…please…please! Let me make it before…before…

She knew she had reached her destination when she nearly collided with the front door. Reaching up, she slammed her open hand against it and then whirled around, staring out into the night behind her, her back pressed against the door as though something was holding her to it but she was really just too terrified to move. Finally, she had no choice but to breathe and the gasp that she brought in made her head and stomach spin. Her eyes darted about as though whatever was lurking was going to get her, was going to reach out and grab her…

But thankfully, by the grace of Ilúvatar, she had only been standing against the door for four seconds. The lock clicked; she knew it was the doorknob and she whirled around, her hair and eyes nearly wild. The elf's hands immediately fell to her shoulders after the door had opened and his voice was soft and comforting.

"Enguina?" Legolas asked, and simply hearing him speak her name with calm served to slow her frantic breathing. "What is it, moina quén?" The words were not even out of Legolas' mouth before he wanted to hit himself even for asking. He already knew what the matter was.

Enguina swallowed hard and he slowly drew her near, knowing she was unable to answer. She let out one sob as he drew her against his chest, but she was so stiff and frightened that he could not get her to loosen so that she might take comfort in the warmth he offered. Her whole body began to shake as she leaned against him, his arms tight around her.

Not again…not this nightmare again… Once again, he was amazed she had made it to his front door before collapsing; she was so full of hurt. He rested his head on hers, closing his eyes as he felt her tears begin soaking into his tunic. He ran his fingers gently through her hair, trying to bring her comfort.

"Can…" she whispered, trembling all over, "can we please…not stand out here?" She sounded as though she was freezing, but Legolas knew it was because she was terrified.

"Gimli is asleep inside," he said softly, thinking that perhaps she would not wish to remain there. "But we can sit near the fire and I—"

"No," she said and he stopped as he had been reaching for the door.

He hesitated, unsure of what that meant. "We shall walk then…" he said in the same soothing tones as before. "I will walk you home, and then I will remain at your side."

"I do not know if I can…" she stuttered and, though he kept his arm tightly about her, he began to turn them around to face the guesthouse.

"Of course you can," he said, trying to ease her fear. "I am here with you…nothing can harm you." He noticed how her fingers clutched the front of his tunic, but he collected her hands and held them within his own. "Shall we go?" he whispered, and she carefully moved a step forward…and then another step…and then they were walking slowly towards the door. He could see her eyes flickering back and forth across the dark of the street, her body trembling against his even as they walked. They walked for a few more paces and he rubbed her arms as they drew closer. "Keep your eyes on the door," he said, "and I shall watch the street."

Her eyes lifted slowly to the door, and then suddenly she stopped in her tracks, her hands gripping his arm as she turned into him; he winced as her nails pierced his flesh. "The door…the door…" she whispered, her voice breaking. "The door…it is…"

"It is open?" Legolas supplied to finish her sentence and he stared at it. It looked as though it had been thrown open in a hurry, not as though someone had been sneaking about. Yet, he felt as though it would not dampen her worry to tell her that. "Are you certain that you closed it?" he asked softly, and she shook her head roughly against his chest.

"No…" she whispered hoarsely, "I cannot remember." The terror in her voice was plain. Legolas comfortingly ran a hand across her shoulders.

"That is all right," he replied. "Come with me and I shall check the house. There is no one inside; no one is going to hurt you." He knew that she was frightened, but they moved to the door and went inside anyway; she tried to believe in his promises, his word.

Everything in the kitchen was untouched…or at least it was exactly the way Enguina had left it. Legolas closed the door, and she was still in his arms. "Stay right here," he said gently. Setting her back against the door, he kissed her forehead and then released her to explore every room. Her bedroom was in a right state, the sheets lying in tangles on the floor, the chair near the dressing table overturned. She had not fought with anyone for her defense…she had been fighting herself.

Returning to her side, he took her back in his arms and then, carefully, he sat her down before the fireplace in the drawing room. She did not want to let him go again, but he got her to release him for a moment so that he could light a fire to give her some warmth. He was going to make her some tea, but thought against it. Right now, his presence was what she needed the most; he felt her pain as though it was his own. She had not called for him tonight in her sleep.

He was quiet as he held her close; she had relaxed only a little, but it was enough to get her to rest her head on his chest. No, this was certainly not the first nightmare, and he knew it would not be the last. Unsure of the entirety of the dream, he only could surround her with his love and hope that each time would get better…but it seemed that any night she came to him grew worse as the time progressed, as though something was coming. Something horrible was coming, at least in her dreams, and he was powerless to stop it there in her head.

Every time, he ended the night wishing that he were in the bed with her, wishing that he could simply reach over, wrap his arms about her and hold her close, wake her from the dream. Yet it was a little more than three months until they were to be wed, and he had to remain at a respectful distance from her. Oh, three months left of this suffering alone! He did not feel truly there for her, and that hurt him more than words could ever say. But…he was here now; that would have to be good enough.

They sat in silence for so long, Legolas had no idea how much time had passed. "Forgive me…" she finally whispered as he felt her loosening in his arms. She became nearly moldable against him. "Forgive me for acting this way…"

"No, I will not forgive you when you have done nothing wrong, Guin. I have spoken once and I shall speak ever of it again; you need not seek forgiveness." He pressed his lips to the top of her head. "You may ever seek me for comfort."

"I feel that is all I seek you for these days." Her voice was full of guilt. He rubbed his hand along her back.

"Only these long nights," he whispered. He ran the hand from her back up and along her face and she shivered against him; he held her more tightly. "Oh, Enguina…you are in terrible pain. I will comfort you," he whispered. "I am here…let your pain leave you. Have hope; things shall be better."

She let out a breath she had been holding. "The dreams…they are growing worse."

He would not ask her of them; he knew she could not answer him. Knowing that they were growing worse was terrible enough in his heart. "It will be all right."

"Legolas," she whispered, her voice full of despair, "how I wish I had your hope. Yet…all I see is darkness."

He laid his head on hers, grieved at her words. How could he help her fight an enemy that he could not see, that he knew nothing about? He knew that whatever her dreams were, there were at least two. One, he assumed was of the man who had taken her only a few months ago, she would run to him; the other…she would run only to Arwen and Aragorn, her terror and anguish so great that she could not bear to see him. He would find her there in the morning though, drinking tea with Arwen at the table, her throat so sore that he knew she had been screaming in the night. No…she would not come to him after that nightmare. He wished she would.

"There is so much light in this room, Guin…light that no shadow can ever touch," he told her gently. "Trust in Ilúvatar; He will make the morning ever more glorious when these dreams are done."

"Will they ever be done?" she asked him, raising her head to look into his eyes, hers wet. "Will the dreams ever stop? They are getting worse, Legolas…worse…and more frequent; always further and darker and…"

"Can I…may I pray for you?" he asked gently, and tears slipped from her eyes.

"I have…I have cried out so many nights; I have prayed that He might relieve my suffering. Yet…it remains," she forced out. "I need Him so desperately, but some nights He is so far from me. You have a hope that I cannot have, nor comprehend." He stroked her face, gently wiped her tears away as her eyes closed. He rested his forehead on hers.

"Holy One, Lord of All…I come before you tonight to ask for healing." He heard her choke on a sob as she began to cry in earnest again. "Healing…Guin, my dearest Guin is in pain," he continued softly. "She needs your strength; she needs your compassion; she needs your great presence to comfort her. You are the great Healer; I have seen your mighty hand and outstretched arm before in so many places, so many hearts. Be here…be here with us.

"Help me, Ilúvatar, to be your light into her darkness. Help me to comfort her, strengthen her; guide me to give her your peace. Be near." He kissed her forehead and then whispered to her, "I have the strength to give you. Take my peace, Guin…take my love and accept it. Take my hope and feel it in your heart…even through the pain. Oh, my dearest, trust in me…trust in Ilúvatar and His grace."

He held her, and he sang softly to her:

Take my hand and walk with me a while
For it seems your smile has left you
And do not give in, when you fall apart
When your broken heart has failed you
I set a light up on a hilltop
and show you my love for this world to see

Take my love when all that you can see
Is the raging sea all around us
And do not give up for I am not letting go
And the One we know will not fail us
We will lay it all down, as we call out
Sweet Savior, help our unbelief!

You can borrow mine when your hope is gone
Borrow mine when you cannot go on
For the world will not defeat you when we are side by side
When your faith is hard to find, you can borrow mine

"You will always have me…" he whispered and he kissed the top of her head gently. "Trust Ilúvatar through me…" He could feel her body shaking with her tears and he simply held her. It seemed forever, but it was still dark when she finally lifted her head, raising a hand to wipe her tears away just as he did it with his own.

"Ilúvatar gave me you to trust," she said softly. "I know you trust Him, Legolas…for everything…but sometimes I cannot help but feel that He is not listening. I know this is my trial, but I do not know how much more of it I can bear."

"I will always be here to help strengthen you," he said, taking her face in his hands. "I will always be here to give you my peace. I love you, Guin," he whispered and he saw her eyes tear again.

"Hannon le," she whispered back to him, and he gave her a gentle smile.

"I speak nothing but the truth. My heart, my everything, is yours. When we are wed, you shall know me by heart and by soul."

She rested her hand against his chest. "That is how I want to know you," she said quietly. "I have to…I do not think I would still be here, that I would have made it through these last months without you." She actually smiled then, and it reached her eyes. "You have such peace that surrounds me, Legolas…you and Arwen and Aragorn. Your love has taught me so much…I only wish…" she hesitated, and he rested his forehead against hers and waited for her to continue if she could. "I only wish that I could overcome the depth of this pain within me."

"Together…we will," he whispered and he kissed her forehead.

"I pray with all my heart that you are right…and I thank Ilúvatar for you." She rested against his chest again and they sat together in front of the fire; she took in his peaceful presence and they simply sat…there was no need for words. She was strengthened by the light that shone through him; the peace of the One calmed her for the night.