I wake up on a regular Tuesday morning with a smile on my face. I had a dream about Eli again, but this time we were kissing on the beach instead of an empty classroom.
Then I remember what Tuesday means. Today after school, I have to go get a CT scan for my head.
It all started when I was younger. I've always had headaches, but a few months ago they got unbearable. I was missing school, no medication could help.
Finally my mom took me to the doctor about a week ago when it got so bad that I missed school for three days in a row. Now they need to check for a brain tumor.
As scary as that is, what's even scarier is the thought of losing the life I am leading. I am happy now, really happy, for the first time in so long.
After my parents split up, I thought everything would change for the worse. I thought I would be so sad after the divorce was final, not have anything good in my life.
Then Eli kissed me.
He was giving me a ride home from school, and Morty broke down, and he was fixing it and I was helping, and then he kissed me.
Needless to say, we started going out, and here we are, four amazing months later. Of course Adam is still our best friend, but Alli has joined our group too.
I felt bad when Adam was a third wheel, but now we have a fourth.
Everything is perfect, even with my dad gone.
But now he has to come back for my appointment. I know it's stupid, but I'm worried he and my mom will fight. He's still mad because my mom has full custody of me, but that's the way I wanted it so he tries to deal. I finally get up out of bed and throw on some sweats. I'm not going to school so I don't even try to look nice.
Eli knows I'm missing today, but he doesn't know why. He thinks I just have a routine check up. I don't want to worry him for nothing if the test comes out negative.
I hear my mom yell "Clare hurry up, we're leaving in ten minutes and you still have to eat!"
"I'm not hungry, mom," I reply.
I hear her sigh and retreat into the kitchen.
I slowly run a brush through my hair as I go through all the usual 'what-if's' in my head.
What if I have a brain tumor? What if I die? What if I lose everything and everyone I love?
Somehow I still force myself out of my room.
Time to go learn my fate.