Just a minor warning. This is NOT a new story. I actually posted this a few years ago as I was working on another Supernatural story (Cherry Hill Manor). Here's what happened. I hit a wall with my other story and so decided to delete it from the archive…but when I went to delete it, I accidentally deleted this one. I realized my mistake, but could not find this original file anywhere. So, fast forward to now, I started a new story (a star wars one) and in all my fiddling around within my fanfic folder, I found this one again! So I'm posting it- and deleting the one I intended to delete in the first place. I might one day go back to cherry hill manor and finish it (I have a couple of different endings penned down) but I didn't think it was fair to have it up if it might remain incomplete.
Anyway, here goes.
Hi guys
I haven't written anything in ages, I know! This particular story came from a conversation I had with a friend about the show.
We thought it would be interesting if John had had another child since Mary's death (after all, I very much doubt he was celibate for 20+ years). Sam and Dean could have a brother or sister out there. But then we wondered whether they would really approach them and make contact, considering what their lives are like. That conversation was the inspiration for this one-shot.
It's told in a series of flashbacks, skipping between them and the present.
I hope you enjoy.
Andrea
Caution: There are spoilers for seasons 1 and 2. Mostly the finales.
Durham, North Carolina
The April sun poured through the windows and warmed the inside of the Impala to a temperature Dean thought would be ideally suited for an afternoon siesta, had he and Sam found themselves in a different situation. Instead h shifted in his seat and struggled to find a position comfortable enough to make sitting through the stakeout bearable yet not so comfortable that he could be easily induced to fall asleep. He turned briefly to Sam but even after two and a half hours of nothing but waiting, his younger brother's eyes were still glued to the quaint Victorian townhouse across the street from where they'd parked. Dean had always had an aversion to stakeouts, finding them agonizingly boring. This one was no different.
"Are you sure this is the right house?" Dean asked Sam for the third time since they'd parked the car on the sunny side of the oak-lined street.
"Yes, Dean" Sam said with practiced patience "You know it is"
"This is ridiculous, Sam" Dean said restlessly "Where the hell is she?"
"Calm down" Sam said tiredly as he wound down the passenger window and rested an elbow on the edge of the door.
"We don't even really know what she looks like" Dean continued, the pitch of his voice rising with both uncertainty and apprehension "What are we going to do, Sam? I mean, what are we going to say to her?"
"I don't know" Sam said softly in contemplation.
Silence settled around them once again as Sam pondered over Dean's question. He couldn't come up with anything other that 'I don't know'. Tracking her down and driving to Durham was as far as they had gone with the plan. Beyond finding her, they had nothing.
Dean shifted once again and this time his elbow accidentally pressed against the car horn. The loud blaring honk from the Impala's horn echoed through the quiet suburban street. Sam turned to glare at Dean. They had arrived in Durham mid-afternoon and in the bright North Carolinian spring sunshine, two men in a large black car parked in front of an empty house in a respectable neighborhood were anything but inconspicuous.
"Think you can draw a little more attention to us, Dean?" Sam asked snidely.
Dean returned his brother's glare but wisely kept quiet. He looked out the windows onto the street and the houses around them. No one had seemed to notice. All in all, it was a quiet street in the college neighborhood. Most of the young residents were probably in class Dean figured, and that's where she more than likely still was. He looked at his watch. It was almost six o'clock and the sun was beginning to make its leisurely descent along the sky.
"How long do classes go for?" He asked aloud.
"Maybe she went to the library or something" Sam suggested, still staring out towards the house as if by concentrating hard enough he could make her appear.
"It's a Friday" Dean stated and going to a library on a Friday evening was an unfathomable event. Unless, of course, there was something supernatural to research.
"Why don't you go for a walk, Dean?" Sam suggested as politely as possible, trying not to let Dean's impatience and anxiety get to him.
"Why?" Dean asked offended "You're trying to get rid of me?"
"Yes, Dean, I am" Sam said rolling his eyes in exasperation "You're really annoying when you're nervous"
"Nervous?" Dean said a little too defensively "I'm not nervous"
"It's OK, I'm nervous too" Sam said, now more gently as he emmpathized with his older brother.
"Yeah, well" Dean's expression suddenly darkened, his tone taking an edge "Nervous doesn't quite cover it"
Sam spun around in his seat quickly, finally turning his attention away from the house. He faced his brother with a cautious look.
"Dean, you can't be angry with her" Sam warned him "She had nothing to do with this"
"I'm not angry with her. I don't even know her!" said Dean "I'm angry at dad"
Sam relaxed slightly but still pressed Dean, subtly trying to assess how Dean intended to approach the situation.
"Look, Dean, it happened years ago, years after mom" Sam pointed out tactfully "He was a man, just like…"
"I'm not angry at that!" Dean cut him off quickly "I know dad was no monk, Sam"
"Then what is it?"
"How could he keep this from us?" Dean asked as he looked away from his brother and back to the house.
It wasn't a question directed at Sam. In fact, it wasn't directed at anyone in particular. It was left to hang unanswered in the air between them. Neither knew why John Winchester had kept something so big from his two sons. Even on that fateful day at the hospital in Missouri where he traded his own life for Dean's, when he'd had the perfect opportunity to divulge this mind-blowing piece of information, he'd decided not to. In the end, John Winchester took that secret to his grave.
Looking back now, Dean realized he probably should have been able to piece it all together sooner. He'd had nineteen years, after all. Sam had been too young and Dean doubted his younger brother remembered anything about their time two decades ago in Wilmington, North Carolina. Dean, on the other hand, had been nine. and some of those memories had clung to him refusing to be so easily forgotten in the hazy blur of his nomadic childhood.
He recalled that day now. Their last day in Wilmington. He would never have guessed it would become such a pivotal piece of the puzzle.
**** Flashback ****
John Winchester had gone to a hunt in Oklahoma. On a rare whim, he had decided not to take his sons with him, and instead left them in the care of Margaret for the two weeks he was gone.
They'd met Margaret Harper in one of their hunts. She was nice; her husband, a prominent surgeon, had been killed in what the police described as a random violent mugging gone wrong as he left work late one day. The Winchesters knew better, of course. Her husband had in fact been killed by a young girl possessed by Kigatilik demon. Historically attacking shamans and healers, in modern day society the demon now went after humans in the medical profession; doctors, nurses, surgeons. John had come to her for information and immediately identified with the young mother who had recently lost her husband to a demon and was now left to raise her young son alone. He told her everything. Everything from Mary's death to the real facts of her own husband's murder. It had been five years since Mary Winchester had died.
Dean never gave that time in his life much thought, although it had seemed a little odd to him that they were spending such an unusually large amount of time at Margaret's house. He hadn't said anything, though. Margaret had a young son, Rod, who was only a year younger than Dean. He and Rod got along really well and Dean was far too excited about having made a friend to look too much into whatever was going on between his dad and Rod's mom. After only two months in Wilmington, he and Rod had become inseparable.
When John came back from Oklahoma it all ended abruptly. Margaret pulled John gently into her room and when they came out an hour later Margaret was yelling and crying. John was crestfallen.
Neither Dean, Sam, nor Rod heard what had been said behind the closed door to Margaret's bedroom. Nineteen years later Dean even struggled to remember what had been said when they finally came out.
"How can you leave after this?" Margaret had yelled at their dad "How can you leave me now?"
"You can't ask me to let it go, Margaret" John said through gritted teeth "I have to do this"
"She's gone, John" She had cried desperately. Sam and Dean watched the scene in a trance. They'd never heard anyone yell at their dad like that "I know it hurts. It's always going to hurt. But even if you find and kill that demon it's still going to hurt. Mary's not coming back, John, but I'm here. I'm standing right here, in front of you, and I'm asking you to stay!"
"Margaret" John said softly in a tone reserved only for delivering bad news and breaking hearts "I can't"
"You mean, you don't want to" Margaret asked bitterly.
"As soon as this whole thing is over, I'll come back" He said "I promise, I'll come back and we'll start again"
"No, John" Margaret said shaking her head as fresh tears fell down her cheeks "If you walk out that door now, you don't ever come back. Make your choice"
And then John Winchester made his choice.
Dean had wanted to argue, he'd wanted so much to stay, but he'd been through this enough times with his dad to know that resisting was pointless. So he'd kept quiet, packed his bags, ignored Rod's tears, and tried not to cry himself when Margaret hugged him tightly and kissed him goodbye.
Half an hour later, John Winchester got in the Impala with his two sons in the backseat and left Wilmington, Margaret, Rod, and his unborn daughter.
Dean was abruptly jolted from the memory when Sam nudged him sharply. Words had escaped his younger brother as all Sam could presently do was point at the house where a bright yellow jeep was now pulling up the driveway. They already knew it was her car; after all, they'd done their research.
They watched in trance-like silence as a young girl in jeans and a t-shirt stepped out of the jeep. She was carrying a giant pile of textbooks. She dropped a few as she tried to swing her backpack over her shoulder. She bent awkwardly to pick them up, before dropping them again as she reached into the back seat to pull out a paper grocery bag. From their spot across the street and a couple of houses away it was impossible to hear, but from the shape of her lips it was unmistakable that she cursed a particular f word.
It was a captivating juggling act as she kicked the door to her jeep shut and rushed up the steps of the large front porch to the front door. After a few seconds of trying in vain to free up a hand enough to open the door, she gave up and set the books down on the ground next to her. She fished the keys out of her pocket to open the door, grabbed her books again, and disappeared inside.
Long after she'd closed the door behind her, Sam and Dean continued to stare in awe.
"Should we go to her?" Sam asked timidly.
Dean thought about it for a moment as he swallowed through an impossibly dry throat.
"No, not yet" He said finally.
"Well, we can't just sit here and watch her all night, Dean" Sam said turning to face Dean "This is stalking!"
"We have to make sure it really is her"
"The only way to do that is to talk to her" Sam continued, looking up towards the house uncertainly "I just don't know how to go about this. I don't want to freak her out"
Dean took a deep calming breath and braced himself to walk up the 20 or so yards to her front door. His hand didn't even make it to the door handle before the girl stepped out of the house again. In a similar display of her earlier chaotic disarray she hurried back to her jeep, dropping first her car keys, and then her purse along the way. She hastily jumped behind the wheel and started the car, reversing out of her driveway before even closing the car door. Without another word, Dean started the Impala and followed her down the street. They had spent almost three hours waiting for her to come back from class and he wasn't about to wait any longer.
Dean had already guessed she was probably going to work. As they followed her jeep into parking lot next to the local bar he congratulated himself on guessing right. It would be a lot easier to approach her in there. A public place, a lot of young people to blend in with, and the opportunity to strike up a conversation casually. Then they'd take it from there. It was a good place to start.
They parked a few spots away from her so as to not draw attention to their presence, though it seemed that she had not in the least noticed either the black car parked across from her house or following her to work. They waited until she rushed inside before stepping out of the Impala slowly.
"What are you gonna say?" Dean asked Sam.
"Me?" Sam asked in surprise "Why me?"
"You're better than me at this sort of stuff" Dean argued what he thought to be convincingly valid point.
"Really? I would have thought talking to a chick in a bar would be right up your alley" Sam bit back sarcastically.
Dean shot him a withering look "This is different"
The bar was nice. Better-kept than the establishments they usually frequented. Obviously catering to the college crowd, the tables were large enough for big groups with only a few stools at the bar. A spacious room adjacent to the bar itself held a few pool tables and big screen TVs. It was early yet and only a handful of customers occupied a couple of the tables while a young couple played pool in the next room. It was bright, airy, and inviting, though Sam and Dean wished there were a few more people around.
They walked slowly up to the bar, garnering a couple of glances from the small group of college students pouring over textbooks as they picked at their meals. Dean watched them curiously and tried to understand what they were actually doing. Studying in a bar? What was this place?
They took a seat at the bar and waited anxiously for service. Waited for her. Sam started fidgeting with one of the cardboard coasters, tapping it against the dark wooden counter. Not long after, Dean snatched it off his hand and slid it along the countertop out of Sam's reach. He shot his younger brother an annoyed glare.
"Sorry, I didn't see you come in"
They turned instantly to the sound of the voice. She was walking up towards them as she wrapped an apron around her waist then proceeded to tie up her long hair hastily into a messy bun at the nape of her neck. Finally she came to a stop in front of them and raised her head to face them.
They stared at her speechless as they let her features sink in. She didn't particularly look anything like them. She didn't even really look much like John Winchester. Her wavy honey brown hair, had it not been highlighted with lighter shades of blonde, was probably the same shade as Dean's. Her eyes, if slightly a lighter shade of hazel, might have looked just like Sam's. She was tall for a girl, close to Dean's height though without the heels on her boots maybe only a couple of inches shorter, at most. Dean remembered Margaret had not been a tall woman; she'd obviously gotten that from John. She was thin, which created the illusion of making her look small and feminine.
It had been nineteen years but Dean easily recognized Margaret in the girl in front of him. While she didn't look much like John, she had a certain aura of strength about her, a determination in her manner that reminded him of his dad. She smiled widely at them and he held his breath. There it was…that smile. John Winchester.
She was waiting for a response and when it didn't come she pressed on, playfully.
"Can I get you anything?"
"Couple of beers" Dean choked out, finally managing to string some words together.
She regarded them curiously for a few seconds before nodding and walking over to the beer taps. As she pulled pint glasses from a shelf above her Sam turned to Dean.
"Smooth" He teased.
"I can't do this" Dean said uncomfortably.
"It's her, Dean" Sam said with certainty.
"Yeah, I know" Dean said quickly under his breath so she couldn't overhear.
She came back with their beers, sliding one to each of them with another one of her smiles.
"Thanks" Dean said, not looking at her.
"I haven't seen you guys around here before" She said, her tone friendly and light-hearted as she encouraged them to engage in conversation.
"We're not from around here" Dean said cryptically.
"So, what brings you here?"
"We came to visit our sister" Dean said, causing Sam to choke on his beer.
"Oh, you're brothers?" She looked from one to the other with a frown "You don't look very much alike, if you don't mind me saying"
A chime interrupted their conversation and she turned to the sound. She rushed to a toaster oven at the end of the bar and pulled out pop tart out with a pair of tongs, tossing it from one hand to another as she tried to cool it. She took a bite and headed back to the bar.
"Is that a pop tart?" Sam asked with an amused smile.
"It's dinner" She said sheepishly as she took a bite "I didn't have the time to eat before my shift started"
"It's not very nutritious"
"Sorry, dad" She said sarcastically.
Dean and Sam shared an uncomfortable look as she bent down and grabbed a carton of milk from the bar fridge. She poured a glass for herself and looked pointedly at Sam.
"Better?" She asked chirpily.
"It's pretty quiet for a Friday night" Dean pointed out.
She nodded "Yeah, it's still early though" She took a sip from her milk "Things don't really pick up until after about nine or ten"
"Are you from around here?"
"Yeah, Wilmington" She said "Just a couple of hours' drive south"
"Is that were your parents live?" Sam asked, probing for information.
"My mom, yes" She continued, taking the bait and seemingly not fazed by their questions "My dad's dead"
"Oh, I'm sorry" Sam said sympathetically, feeling a little bad that he was asking questions he already knew the answer to.
"It's OK, he died before I was born. I never met him" She said with a dismissive wave of her hand that neither Sam nor Dean much appreciated "My mom remarried when I was little. She and my step dad are still in Wilmington. Actually, it's one of the reasons I go to Duke, it keeps my mom happy that I'm not too far away. I can easily go back home anytime"
"Are you an only child?" Dean cut in.
"No, I have an older brother, Rod" She said "But he's in New York now. He's a cop. What about you guys? What do you do?"
"Law, at Stanford" Sam said quickly, before Dean could interrupt with one of his outrageous cover stories.
"Stanford?" She asked with raised eyebrows "Long way to travel to visit your sister"
"It sure is" Dean said in a deliberately measured tone.
"That's so sweet. I wish my brother would visit me, the slacker!" She said in good-natured reproach. She smiled warmly at them again "Anyway, she's a very lucky girl"
"You think?"
"Of course! I should be so lucky" She mused before raising a finger as if to announce something of extreme importance "You know, family is the most important thing in the world"
"Yeah" Dean said absently.
"I'm Regan, by the way"
"Dean"
She held out her hand and they shook it in turn. Sam's hand lingered as he held hers, savoring the direct contact. If she noticed, she didn't say anything.
"I'm Sam" He said, his voice rasp as he stared at her, searching her face for any sort of recognition or connection.
"Regan's an interesting name" Dean said noticing his brother was choking up "Named after anyone in particular?"
"Guess" She challenged excitedly.
Dean thought for a minute "The girl in The Exorcist?" He suggested, thinking it was befitting that her mother would name her in honor of a horror movie depicting demon possession and supernatural themes. Perhaps a morbid tribute to John.
"Oh…really? That's her name?" Regan asked genuinely surprised, like she'd never considered that option "The pea soup girl?"
"Yeah. Linda Blair" Dean said with a slight chuckle "You haven't seen The Exorcist?"
"I never really developed a taste for horror movies. My mom had a weird thing about stuff like that. She never let me watch them growing up" She said with a casual shrug "I don't know why"
Sam and Dean watched solemnly for a moment. They knew exactly why.
"It's a good movie" Dean said quietly as the casual and lighthearted mood threatened to shift again "You should watch it"
"I don't know" Regan said unsurely "I'm not really into scary stuff. I spook very easily"
"So, where did your name come from?" Sam asked trying to redirect the conversation.
"My mom" She rolled her eyes and laughed "She's bit of a Shakespeare freak"
Sam nodded as he recognized now the inspiration for her name "King Lear"
"That's right, King Lear's daughter. The evil one. Think she was trying to tell me something?" Sam and Dean remained silent "Still, I got off easier than my brother"
"Rod?" Dean asked, not seeing how the name was at all strange.
"That's what everyone calls him, but his birth certificate says different" She said then leaned over the counter and lowered her voice to a whisper "Roderigo"
Sam chuckled "Othello"
"Very good. I told you she's a freak" She said referring to her mother "She's named every single family dog after characters from Macbeth! The new one's Banquo, poor little creature. Just because she doesn't like Margaret she has to doom her children to a life of ridicule"
"Margaret?" Dean asked taking every piece of information she'd so willingly divulged.
"Yeah, that's my mom's name" She said.
That was all the information they needed. She had confirmed everything they'd researched. It was her, alright. Without a doubt. Dean shared a significant look with Sam, one that said it was time to come clean. Neither of them wanted to play this game with her anymore.
"Listen, Regan" He started nervously "We need to tell you som…"
"Hold that thought" She cut him off before he could finish the sentence.
She turned her attention to the door of the bar as they swung open. A young couple had walked in and were making a beeline for the bar.
"Where were you?" Regan asked them "You said you were going to wait at the library for me!"
"I did!" The girl said "You were supposed to meet me at five"
"Oh… yeah, right…sorry, I had to go to the store" Regan explained, dropping her accusing tone. The couple sat next to Sam and Dean and looked up at Regan. She turned to Sam and Dean "Sam, Dean, this is Claire, my housemate, and Scott, her boyfriend"
After the introductions they began to chat amiably. Sam and Dean gave them the same vague story they'd given Regan. They were in Durham to visit their sister. After all, it wasn't really a lie. Claire and Scott had come in for a bite to eat before heading of to a party at Scott's frat house.
"That's tonight?" Regan asked Scott, then groaned in frustration "I totally forgot"
"You're coming, right?" He asked her.
"I don't know, Scott"
"You have to come" Claire said authoritatively "After your shift?"
"I don't finish here until midnight"
"That's cool" Scott said with a shrug "We should be done with the hazing by then"
She shot Scott an appalled look then turned to Claire "I don't know, Claire. I've got to get up early tomorrow and drive down to my mom's. It's her birthday. My brother's flying down, too. It's a family day!"
"Oh, come on. It'll be fun. Just for a little while" Claire pleaded with a pout and turned to Sam and Dean "Why don't you guys come, too?"
"Yeah" Scott agreed "Come with your sister"
Regan promised Claire she would make an appearance after her shift which evidently pleased her housemate enough to get her off her back. Claire and Scott left after their meal, by which time the bar had started to get crowded. Even though three more waitresses had started their shift in the time Sam and Dean had been there, Regan wasn't able to stand by them and talk as they had earlier. She had other customers to attend to.
"We can't do it now" Sam said looking around at the growing college crowd.
"Let's just go wait for her at her place" Dean said resignedly.
She found them as they had started to make their way to the exit. She grabbed gently at the sleeve of Sam's jacket and he turned to her. She was carrying a full tray of beers.
"You weren't just gonna leave without saying goodbye, were you?" She said with a playful smirk.
"Well…you…" Sam stammered "You're busy"
"OK, but you're going to the party, right?" She asked excitedly "I'll see you guys again?"
"Yeah" Sam said weakly "We'll see you again"
They left her at the bar, smiling and chatting warmly with the patrons, laughing with the other waitresses, joking with the busboys. They walked back to the car in silence then sat mutely for a few minutes, each lost in their own thoughts.
Dean rubbed a palm over his face and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths as leaned back and let his head hang over the back of the driver's seat. There were so many thoughts running through his head he didn't know which one to pick to try and make sense of first. He started with a logical thread. First, there was the fact that Regan was without a single doubt John and Margaret's daughter, which in turn implied the more shocking fact that she was their half-sister. He stopped there. It was too much. He thought about Rod next. He wondered if Rod remembered him. He wondered if Rod had ever looked him up. Hopefully not.
Sam sat on the passenger seat with his eyes trained on the door to the bar, as if the whole building might be a figment of his imagination and looking away might make it vanish into thin air, taking her with it. He'd just met a sister he didn't know he had. For nineteen years this girl had been around and he had no idea. Worse still, she had no idea either. He felt a twinge of anger. Regan had been lied to. Her mom had lied to her about her real father, telling her that he'd died before she'd been born. Regan didn't know who John Winchester was, which in turn meant, she had no idea who he and Dean were. She'd been lied to, just like they had.
He thought back to the day they'd found out about her. Bobby had been the one to tell them. He had figured now that John was gone and Dean was on a deadline, so to speak, it was as good a time as any. But although Bobby knew about John's short affair with Margaret and the child they had together, he didn't know John's reason for keeping it from Sam and Dean. It was something that Sam desperately wanted to know, to understand.
****Flashback****
It hadn't been long after the Devil's Trap fiasco in South Dakota. Needless to say, when Bobby broke the news to them, it had come as a complete shock. Bobby Singer had neither the patience nor the tact to break the news to them delicately.
"Listen, boys" Bobby said one night as they sat at his home drinking knocking back a few beers "You need to know something about your father"
Dean looked at Bobby, the warning clear in his eyes "What?"
"It's something he kept from you all his life, but I think you should know"
"Why?" Dean asked slowly, fearing it was something John Winchester might have kept from them for a reason.
"Because he's gone and you don't seem to have much longer, either" Bobby stated plainly "And because it's too important to die with him"
He asked them if they remembered a woman called Margaret in North Carolina. Sam said he didn't, but Dean did. He remembered Margaret and her son, Rod. He remembered they'd gone to North Carolina because John had been hunting a demon. The woman's husband had been killed and John had gone to ask her some questions. He remembered staying there for a while. He remembered the fight between Margaret and his dad. He remembered leaving. John had never spoken about her and their time with her again.
The fact that John had had an affair with Margaret did not come as a huge shock to either Dean or Sam, though they preferred not to give it any lingering thought. But then Bobby dropped the bombshell. Margaret had been pregnant when John left Wilmington. She'd had a child. Dean and Sam had a nineteen year old sister out there. A sister John never told them about. A sister he never intended to tell them about.
Sam was in complete shock at the revelation. Dean, on the other hand, lost his temper completely and exploded in fury. He'd wanted to wallow in denial about it, but rationally recognized that Bobby had no reason to make this up, no reason to lie. He said as much.
"I've no reason to make this up, Dean" Bobby said after enduring a violent display of anger from Dean. He stood and picked up books, weapons, and chairs Dean had thrown around during his tirade.
"Why wouldn't he tell us something like that?" Dean asked once he'd calmed down and had time to absorb the news.
"Maybe because he knew how you'd react" Bobby bit back.
"Did he tell you that?"
"Yes" Bobby admitted "But I didn't believe him. I still don't"
"What do you mean?"
"He wasn't afraid to tell you. It wasn't about you!" Bobby explained "He was afraid of ruining her life, and her mother's. John was never going to give up hunting the demon that killed your mom. Imagine if he'd dragged that poor family along into this, too"
"He thought they'd be better off without him" Sam stated as he tried to understand his father's motives.
"Why didn't he tell us?" Dean asked tiredly, his energy entirely spent.
"He didn't want you to go looking for her" Bobby said.
"But we deserved to know" Dean argued.
"I know, Dean. That's why I'm telling you!" Bobby said exasperated "I'm on your side on this!"
They were silent for a few moments as they let it all sink in. Finally Dean looked up at Bobby with an expression of absolute loss.
"What do we do?" He asked softly.
Bobby let out a deep breath and shook his head.
"I don't know. It's up to you" He said soothingly "I just thought you had a right to know. And so does she"
Sam returned to the present as the Impala came to an abrupt halt outside Regan's house again. This time, in the darkness of night, their presence would go by unnoticed. From the conversation at the bar Sam and Dean had found out that Regan's shift finished at midnight which would leave them just about one hour before she came home. Dean very quickly came up with an idea to both make the time go quicker and find out a little more about her.
"We should check her place out" He said casually to Sam.
Sam rolled his eyes. He knew exactly what Dean meant by that innocent sounding comment. He knew his older brother too well to be fooled by the casual tone.
"You mean we should break into her house and snoop"
"You make it sound so sinister, Sam" Dean said stepping out of the car. Sam followed him quickly up the steps to her front porch.
"Dean, no!" Sam hissed harshly as Dean reached the door "Dean!"
Like deer caught in the headlights they stopped in their tracks as their movements set off the security light on the porch and illuminated their every questionable move. Dean grabbed Sam by the sleeve of his jacket and forcefully dragged him around to the side of the house. They waited silently in the relative safety of the shadows until the light went out. Dean bit his lip and thought for a moment before coming to a decision.
"Let's try the back" He said and quickly headed off towards the back of the house, leaving Sam no opportunity to protest and no other choice than to follow him.
They had more luck with the back door. The lock was easy to pick and within the minute they were inside Regan's house. Nothing in the kitchen revealed anything particularly enlightening or interesting. They moved to the living room, but aside from a few books, CDs, and DVDs near the TV and stereo, there wasn't much that could give them an insight into their sister. The only place they would find intimate details like the ones they were after was her bedroom.
Her bedroom was easy enough to find. Walking along the corridor leading from the lounge room, they stopped at the third door on the right. Hanging from the white lacquered door a heart-shaped tiled sign peppered with kittens proclaimed it to be the entrance to 'Regan's Room'. Though Sam wanted to protest and knew he should, curiosity got the better of him and he followed Dean inside.
Dean flipped the light switch on and her bedroom came into sight. Even he seemed to hesitate for a moment, knowing what they were doing was wrong but unable to stop himself now that he was there. He stood there, unable to move as he took in her room. It wasn't as girly as he thought. The only decoration that made him cringe was the poster of Johnny Depp hanging on the wall over her double bed. He smiled approvingly at the other ones of David Bowie and Blondie, satisfied his sister's music taste. He could over look the Johnny Depp thing.
Sam walked around Dean and stood by her desk. He briefly glanced over the books she'd brought in from the library earlier that day. They were mostly physiology books; cardiovascular physiology, neurophysiology, respiratory physiology and an intimidating hefty copy of the infamous Grays Anatomy. He ran his fingers over them poignantly. He missed school, the student life. Her life. He looked up to the diploma hanging on the wall above her desk; her high school diploma. He already knew she had been valedictorian. He smiled proudly, yet with a hint of melancholy. It seemed Regan and him were more alike than he originally thought.
Dean finally managed to make himself move and slowly walked over to her dresser next to the window. A large mirror stood atop and he looked at the collage of pictures around the frame. A lot of them were of people he didn't know. Some were of her when she was little and only vaguely resembled the young woman she'd become. Many were of her with her friends and, judging form her cheerleading outfits and the football players in some of them, he figured they were from high school. A few ribbons and medals were scattered between the pictures. Gymnastics. The most interesting and telling pictures were near the top.
There was one from her prom. She stood proudly with a happy smile on her face and a shimmering tiara on her head. She'd been prom queen. She had her arm around her date, the prom king. He recognized the boy from some of the other high school photos, but also from others near the prom one, the more recent ones. He looked a little older now, but it was definitely still him. There were a lot of pictures of the two of them together; hugging, kissing, holding each other, laughing. Dean smiled, surprised that they were still together. High school sweethearts still holding strong, he thought to himself, pleased.
One picture in particular caught his eye though; sitting over all the others and clearly occupying a position of utmost importance to her. He reached up for it and pulled it down hypnotically staring at it. It was very recent. He figured it was probably taken about a year ago, if that. Regan stood between an attractive middle aged woman and a young man in a police uniform. Margaret and Rod. He hadn't seen them in nineteen years but it was them without a doubt. Regan bore a close resemblance to her mother yet her brother did not. Rod must have taken after his dad. The three of them looked so happy. It was no wonder the picture was had been placed above all the others, after all, she had said that family was the most important thing in the world. Dean couldn't agree more.
He wondered what could have happened if John had decided to stay with Margaret after finding out she was pregnant. He and Sam would have been in that picture, too. John as well probably, after all, he was Regan's real dad. And Rod, just like he and Sam, was Regan's half-brother. He sighed deeply.
These people could have been his family. Nineteen years ago the decision to stay or leave had been entirely on John's shoulders. But today, the decision to turn this girl's life upside down, rested on him and Sam. Could they really go ahead with it? Could he?
****Flashback****
"I think I found it, Sam" Dean said looking up from one of John Winchester's journals "Margaret Harper, North Carolina, March 1987"
Sam crossed the distance of the small motel room to stand by Dean who was sitting at the small desk. He looked at the page and read through his dad's entry. He agreed with Dean. It had to be her.
They had gone to the North Carolina State Library in Raleigh straight away to start their research. Public records, newspapers, medical records. Six hours later they had not only tracked their sister down but also found out a lot about her, her brother, Rod, and their mother, Margaret. It had only been one week since Bobby had told them about their sister.
"Regan Harper" Dean said as they read over their notes later that night in their motel room "Margaret remarried in 1991 but the kids kept their dad's name"
"Well…not really" Sam pointed out "Technically, Regan's a Winchester"
"Regan Winchester" Dean said aloud, trying out the sound of her name. He said it again "Regan Winchester"
"She was a promising gymnast. She was going to go state but broke her arm when she was eleven" Sam continued reading from clippings of local papers "In high school she became a cheerleader"
"As well as the quarterback's girlfriend" Dean said holding out a newspaper clipping of the high school football team. Regan, in her cheerleading outfit was standing in front of the quarterback, his beefy arms around her frame. Dean continued to read "Logan Whittaker. He got a full scholarship to Duke"
"So did she" Sam added proudly "She's doing premed at Duke. She was valedictorian"
"Oh, so she's a nerd" Dean said casually "Like you"
Sam shot his brother a withering look "Actually, she was arrested two years ago for indecent exposure and disorderly conduct so… she's a criminal…like you"
Dean exploded in laughter "No way!" he said snatching the report from Sam and reading through it. The more he read, the more he started to like this girl "Awesome!"
"It was an end of high school dare or prank or something. There's not much detail in there" Sam said, amused himself "Her and her friends were detained, but it didn't go on her permanent record"
"Of course, couldn't have the valedictorian and the quarterback losing their scholarships to Duke" Dean said snidely "This was written up by Rod"
"Rod?"
"Her brother" Dean said pointing to the officer's signature at the bottom of the police report "Rod Harper"
"Wow, Rod's a cop" Sam mused remembering the little boy Dean had become so attached to as a child. If only Rod knew how much his and Dean's lives had changed, how they were opposite in almost every single way "He must have gotten her out of trouble"
"Anything else?"
"Nope" Sam said "Not even a speeding fine"
"What's that?" Dean asked pointing to a large green file next to Sam's laptop.
"Medical records" Sam said picking up the file "She's been in and out of hospital quite a bit"
"Why?" Dean asked showing sight traces of concern.
"Oh, nothing too serious" Sam said opening the file "The broken arm, of course, she had an appendectomy at thirteen, wisdom teeth out at sixteen, a couple of allergic reactions"
"Allergies?" Dean asked.
"Yep, she's allergic to shellfish and peanuts" Sam said then frowned "You know, it's funny, she doesn't share a blood type with either Rod or her mom"
"What does that mean?"
"It means it's pretty obvious she and Rod don't share the same father" Sam said "In fact, she's the same blood type as me… and dad"
"You think she knows?"
"If she doesn't it's only a matter a time before she figures it out"
"You know, maybe Margaret's told her about dad, about us" Dean said hopefully "Maybe she knows she's got two brothers out there. We should find her and talk to her"
"I don't know, Dean" Sam said unsurely. Part of him wanted to get to know his half-sister. But part of him wondered what the point was in dredging all this up now. It could only complicate things, for them and for her.
"Sam, I have to meet her" Dean said fervently, his voice raw with emotion "I don't have a lot of time left. I need to meet her"
Sam watched his brother closely, pleading with him to do this with him, to go see their sister. Dean was right. He couldn't wait much longer.
"OK, Dean" Sam said placing a supporting hand on his brother's shoulder "Tomorrow"
"Someone's here!" Sam whispered in panic "What do we do?"
Dean snapped out of the memory and rushed over to switched the light off. In the faint glow of the headlights and moonlight streaming from the window he reached for Sam and pulled him towards it.
"Out the window" He whispered.
They managed to drop quietly onto the soft lawn below the window just as they heard footsteps approaching the porch. The sneaked closer trying not to make a sound as to alert whoever it was of their presence. Dean poked his head around the edge of the porch and over the top of the railing as a young man came up the stairs. He quickly ducked back as the security light came on.
Dean turned to Sam and whispered in his ear "It's the quarterback!"
"Logan?" Sam asked in surprise "She's still with him?"
"Yep" Dean said, braving another peek over the banister of the porch.
The young man knocked on the door and after getting no response proceeded to take a seat on the wooden swing at the end of the porch, directly in front of Sam and Dean. His back was to them as he leaned his head back and sighed.
"We have to get out of here" Sam said "She'll be home soon"
The sensor light went off again and the porch was engulfed in darkness. Logan pulled out his cell phone and started dialing. Dean took it as the perfect opportunity to sneak back to their car.
"Let's go" He whispered to Sam motioning for his brother to follow him.
They sneaked stealthily back to the car. At the sound of a car turning around the corner and the headlights drawing closer they both jumped behind the parked Impala to avoid being seen. The car passed them along the deserted street and immediately they recognized the yellow jeep as belonging to Regan.
She stopped the jeep at the end of her driveway and stepped out slowly, taking a moment to stare at the swing on her front porch. She slammed the door shut and took a couple of steps towards the stairs to her door, only enough to set the sensor light on. Logan stood up hastily from the swing and rushed down the steps to meet her but stopped cold when she took a couple of steps back.
"What the hell are you doing here?" She yelled angrily at him as she rested her hands on her hips.
Sam and Dean looked at each other curiously as their heads peaked out over the hood of the Impala. It seemed they had stumbled into a lover's quarrel.
"We really should go" Sam whispered to Dean.
Dean snorted "I'm not going anywhere now"
Sam briefly wondered if Dean worried for Regan's safety, but one look at his brother's face told him he only wanted to stay out of morbid curiosity. Dean's eyes shone with anticipation.
The rest of the conversation between Regan and Logan went a lot more civilly. Once the yelling subsided, Sam and Dean couldn't hear what was being said between the arguing couple and they had to go by body language to decipher what was going on. It was fairly easy to follow though. Logan was very clearly begging. Possibly for forgiveness, Sam figured. He'd been there before.
Regan, on the other hand, was obviously taking no small amount of pleasure in making him sweat. She stood haughtily with her arms crossed across her chest impatiently tapping her foot as she watched the man in front of her grovel. She eventually began to soften though. Occasionally a smile or a chuckle would escape her lips throughout the conversation. Finally she let her arms drop and took a couple of conciliatory steps towards her repentant boyfriend.
Sam and Dean watched the scene in amusement. The smiles on their faces dropped instantly as suddenly Logan pulled out a small box from the pocket of his denim jacket and got on one knee before Regan. They looked at each other in shock before turning their eyes back to their sister and the man kneeling in front of her.
They watched as first she took a step back and gasped in surprise, then shrieked loudly in a pitch high enough to wake up all the dogs in the neighborhood. Without letting Logan stand up or put the ring on her finger, she pounced of him. He lost his balance and their bodies rolled across the lawn. Sounds of girlish giggles and relieved chuckles reached Sam and Dean.
Eventually Logan managed to calm her down long enough to put the ring on her finger. They embraced each other lovingly and locked lips in a kiss before walking together into the house, leaving Sam and Dean to stare after them dumbfounded.
"Well?" Sam said finally "Now what?"
"I don't think they'll be making it to that frat party" Dean said.
"Dean! Seriously!" Sam said shaking his head. He stood up and walked around the Impala making his way adamantly across the street.
"What are you doing?" Dean hissed behind him.
"What we came here to do" Sam said over his shoulder as he continued the walk to her house.
Dean came running up behind him and grabbed Sam by the arm, spinning him around. Sam faced Dean with a confused expression.
"No" Dean said plainly.
"No?" Sam asked, still confused "Didn't you want to do this?"
"Not now" Dean said glancing towards the house "Now's not the time"
"If not now, then when, Dean?" Sam pressed on "She's going to her mom's tomorrow for her birthday. Her whole family's going to be there. You want to follow her to Wilmington and ruin the day for everybody?"
"No, I just…I…" Dean said running a hand over his hair in frustration.
"It's now or never, Dean" Sam said then stopped as he realized something "Are you afraid?"
"No!"
"Then let's do this already!" Sam said exasperated. He continued to the house.
This time Dean rushed him and stopped in front of Sam, halting his progress. They stood in the middle of the dark street. Fortunately, no cars were around.
"No" Dean said sternly to Sam.
"No, what?"
"I changed my mind"
"You changed your mind?" Sam asked in disbelief "What do you mean? You've been obsessing over this for a week! You can't chicken out now"
"It's not that, Sam"
"Then what is it? Don't you want to meet her? To tell her who we are?"
"Let's just go, Sam" Dean pleaded.
"No, Dean. I came all the way here to meet her, and that's what I'm going to do" Sam said angrily "If you don't care, just stay in the car"
Sam tried to get around Dean to the house again but Dean shoved him back. He tried to release himself from Dean's grip but he was unrelenting.
"Don't do it, Sam" Dean yelled "Please!"
"Dean, just let me go" Sam said as with a push Dean stumbled and something fell out of his pocket. Sam bent over to pick it up and stared at it.
It was the picture she'd had stuck to her mirror. The polaroid that had been placed on top of the collage in her room. The picture of Regan, standing between her mom and brother. The family that given a different set of circumstances, they could have been a part of. Dean had taken it from her room.
Sam held it in his hand for a moment as he took in not only the happy people captured in the image, but the significance and impact it obviously had on his brother. He held it back out to Dean, who took it gently and placed it back in his pocket. He looked like he had a million things to say and no idea how to say them.
"It's not too late, Dean" Sam said gently.
"Yeah, it is" Dean said in a defeated tone.
"But, Dean"
"No, Sam" Dean said "Look at her, at her life. She's got a family and friends who love her, she's got a great life and career ahead of her, she's going to marry that guy and start her own family. She's happy, Sam! I'm not taking that away from her"
"We're not taking anything away from her, Dean" Sam argued.
"We are, Sam! I don't know if she knows about dad or not, or even if she knows about us. If she does, then she obviously isn't interested in finding us, and if she's doesn't then…why turn her life upside down? For what?"
"She's our sister, Dean" Sam said "She deserves to know who we are. We deserve to know her, too"
"We've met her, Sam! And you know what? She's great!" Dean said gesturing to the house "She's funny, smart, pretty, happy…let's just leave her alone"
"Leave her alone?"
"She's better off without any of this. The hunting, the demons" Dean said "She's better off without us"
"You don't know that" Sam said weakly. He'd already had all these thoughts on the way to North Carolina, but now that he was here, he didn't know if he'd be able to just walk away.
"Yes, Sam, I do. What are we going to tell her…that her real dad abandoned her mom nineteen years ago? That a demon killed him last year? A demon who wanted you to lead his army? That I traded my soul to save you? That I have less than a year to live?"
"We don't have to tell her any of that"
"Sam…listen… if someday, somehow…all this goes away" Dean struggled to get the words out "Then maybe we can come back…we'll tell her"
"But she's here right now, Dean! You said it yourself, you don't know how much longer you have" Sam pleaded "This might be your only chance"
"I'm sorry, Sam. I just…I can't do it" Dean said shaking his head sadly "I don't want to do this to her. I don't think I could live with myself, no matter how long that may be for"
"Dean" Sam said gently.
"I'm already leaving you behind" Dean said heading back to the car "It's better that she doesn't know me. Once I'm gone you can come back to her"
"Dean, stop that!" Sam yelled following his brother "I told you, I'm going to get you out of that deal"
"OK, tell you what" Dean said opening the door to the impala and turning to face Sam "When that happens, we'll come back"
He didn't wait for a response. He took a seat behind the wheel and shut the door, leaving Sam to stare at him through the car window. He left it up to Sam to do whatever he wanted. If Sam wanted, he could go up to the house and tell her everything. The only thing Dean knew right then was that he couldn't bring himself to do it.
As much as Sam wanted to protest Dean's sudden change of heart, he had to admit to himself that he understood where Dean was coming from. Confronting her now would do nothing more than satisfy their own curiosity, their own wishes, and turn her life upside down. Dean was right, she didn't really need them. So who where they doing this for? No good could come of this, at least, not for her.
He took one last look at Regan's house and swallowed the lump in his throat. He let out a long breath and got in the passenger seat. The silence in the car was tense and he could sense Dean's hesitation and anguish bubbling beneath his stoic façade.
"We will come back, Dean" Sam said, his tone unwavering. A mantra "We'll come back"
Dean started turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared to life.
"Yeah" Dean whispered softly as he pulled out onto the street, slammed his foot on the gas and sped off.
"Hey, did you hear that?" Regan asked Logan as she quickly got off the bed and rushed to the window, poking her head out to look onto the street. The sound of screeching tires had gotten her attention.
"No" Logan said in protest "Come back!"
"It sounded like a car speeding off" She said "You didn't hear that?"
"Yes, I did, but who cares?" Logan groaned impatiently "Come back to bed!"
"Well, well, well, aren't you impatient?" She teased him playfully as she walked slowly back to the bed. She stopped misstep as she went past her dresser, her face twisting into a deep frown.
"What is it?" Logan asked.
"One of my pictures is missing" She said wistfully "My favorite one! Someone took it!"
Logan rolled his eyes "Regan, who could possibly want it?"
Thank you for reading, guys. There will be no sequel to this, I'm afraid.
Please review, it'll make my day.
Toodles
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