Of Our Own Doing

Piercing, Pulsing

gathered in the darkness

that surrounds

Constrained, Constricted

a weave that knows

no bounds

Chains that are aimed

to bind

The hand that guides

them is no longer

blind

Outlined by the blood

that we have spilled

Our our own doing

our fates be sealed

Written January 16th, 2006 - Medb2004 / Lunaschild2016

A/N: This will be rated M for sexual content, language and some violence. I haven't decided if I will be going completely AU, but this will follow along with some of the plot of the first book. This is me imagining what if Natalie and Andrew had tried to be more proactive and prevent what they had so obviously knew was coming. Eric, Four and Tris might be slightly OOC because of it at times. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1

I looked around the city as the car drove me to what would be my new home. The driver never said a word as I huddled into the seat of the sleek car. The events of the last week kept playing in my mind as if it were on repeat.

My parents were gone. No one would say how they were killed or by who, I just knew that they were gone. Aunt Jeanine had almost gloated about it when she came to inform me. I didn't expect comfort from her, she wasn't capable of that kind of emotion. Jeanine only had ever cared about Jeanine and her own goals and power. Even with that I had at least thought she wouldn't have been so cruel about things.

I didn't know what cruel was though until the next week. She didn't have time to take on the responsibilities of a guardian. Even to a 13 year old girl that could basically take care of herself. She had signed over guardianship and arranged for me to live elsewhere. Not just elsewhere though, in another faction. I would be going to live with my Aunt and Uncle that were members of the Abnegation faction. Jeanine, my mother Renee and Andrew were all brother and sisters. Andrew had transferred out of Erudite long ago and now had a family of his own. I knew of them but didn't know any of them personally.

I was still reeling from the loss of my family and now I would be losing the only home I had ever known. I found out before I left I would still be taking all the Erudite classes and would even be expected to appear at Erudite for dinners or meetings with my Aunt. As far as what my faction was considered though, I would be both. I wasn't sure how that would work or if I wanted it but there was nothing I could do. I tried not to let the tears that threatened to well up break through and it was a hard won fight.

I would and could not cry. The driver pulled up outside of the Abnegation sector and after stopping got out and opened the door for me. He grabbed my bag and walked towards the couple standing with two children at the entrance sector.

The woman and man were both beautiful in their own quiet and plain way. They had brown/blonde hair that their children both had. It looked like Andrew's eyes were more like my own and were of a darker blue while the others were lighter. My own blonde hair was lighter but even just seeing these similarities helped to comfort me some.

I stepped forward hesitantly while the driver left without another word. "Ember, welcome home sweetheart. Let's go get you settled." Natalie, her Aunt said as she stepped forward to give me a small reassuring hug and smile. I was almost shocked that she had engaged in that but she leaned into whisper. "You will find that our family is not quite like all other Abnegation families. We do not do this openly most times but I think we can allow that welcome a new member who needs us as much as we need her is the selfless thing."

She winks at me and a dimple flashes. Those words and that act alone have already helped me tremendously. My cousin Caleb grabs my bag while my other Cousin Beatrice walks beside me. She gives me reassuring smiles as we walk along.

By the end of the night I am settled into a room in the house they had to move to accommodate me. This house is closer to the forest and meadow at the very edge of the Abnegation sector. The other houses are further away and I can tell that they are all very pleased about this.

Natalie and Andrew sit me down with them in the living room of my new home. Natalie looks over to me and smiles sadly. "Ember, I know that you must be very confused as to why you moved to another faction or even about what happened to your parents. I am unsure what Jeanine might have told you but ask us anything you want to know. We might not be able to tell you everything right now but we will try."

I know my Erudite mind has taken over and it shows. My eyes miss nothing about their posture and looks. They will be as open as they can but they are worried. I play a list of questions in my mind and I start on the safer questions first. I take a deep breath and nod.

"Why am I being considered both Abnegation and Erudite?"

Ok, so not so safe a first question judging by the looks they share. "When Jeanine signed you over it was with that stipulation that you still be allowed to visit her there every week for one dinner. Also, that you still attend classes as you had before. We agreed because we wanted to keep at least some things as normal as possible for you. The only way to do that was to classify you as both."

My mind files that away but it also picks up on their worry. "But you would rather I not be going to dinners with her." It wasn't a question and I could see in both of their eyes they knew I already knew the answer but wanted them to vocalize it.

Andrew nodded. "Yes we would rather you not because we do have concerns about your safety. Ember, how much do you know of my falling out with your Aunt?"

I frown and shake my head. "She never mentioned you and Mom only mentioned that she missed you. She never said much because it made her sad."

Uncle Andrew's face became overcome with grief for a moment and my Aunt slipped her arm around his shoulders to hold him close. After a moment he composed himself. "I missed her very much too Ember. I wished very much to be able to see you grow up. We tried to communicate often but it got dangerous. Jeanine has very dangerous beliefs and we believe that…"

My face goes hard and I nod. "You don't need to speak the words. I already knew. Somehow I already knew. I don't know why she did it or what they had to do with her theories. But I will find out and I will stop her."

The two share a look and he nods to her. "Ember we are going to have to be very careful about any actions we take, but you especially. The minute you think it gets too dangerous you must stop immediately. Do you understand?" She uses a tone I have heard before from someone but not often. That of a commanding officer of Dauntless. He often came to dinners with my parents. What was his name? Max Cornell. That's right. He is Second in Command right now but set to take the reigns this year or next. I tilt my head and evaluate my Aunt and smile.

"Ma'am, yes Ma'am." I intone respectfully but full of knowing.

I see her smile and give a short nod. "Then I will tell you why we are not such a normal Abnegation family and why we chose to move to this house."

My mind whirls and I calculate. "Because you are training or will be training us."

They again share a look. My Aunt speaks slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Yes. Ember I have a question for you. Has Jeanine ever run tests on you before?"

I clear my throat and nod. "Yes." I take a deep breath. "And yes I am."

Uncle Andrew looks pained. "How many?"

I look at my hands. "Four."

My Aunt closes her eyes, lets out a breath and a nod. "Then we will need to up the training for you as well. Caleb and Tris are both three, but I am teaching them to hide theirs. You are already known but why she hasn't…"

She trails off as they share another look and I frown. "Please tell me."

Andrew looks solemn. "Ember, I have something to tell you and it might be hard to hear."

I nod and swallow. "Renee, my sister, when were very young she was in an accident. She survived and was healthy but because of this accident she was left unable to have children."

My hands start to shake and my skin turns clammy. "She isn't..she wasn't…"

My Aunt moves over to wrap me in her arms. "She will always be your mother. But no she was not your birth mother. Ember, I am sure you know where we are going with this. We are unclear as to why she gave you up. If it was just her career or other reasons, as far as we know she never had an affair but we could be wrong. All we know is she did want you to stay in the family and your mother wanted you desperately. Just as when we found out about your parents we wanted you desperately too."

My mouth is dry as I realize the implications. "You think I wasn't killed with my parents because somewhere deep inside her cold heart she cares for me?" I ask a bit incredulously.

She nods and sighs. "It makes sense Ember. She hasn't had any issues, at least from the reports that we have been able to gather, in using children for her purposes."

I nod and file that away. Yet another reason to stop her. "Then we stop her. And I use that if I need to."

She squeezes me tightly. "Ember what was your highest one?"

I blink and look at her. "Dauntless followed very closely by Erudite, then Abnegation and Amity."

My Aunt nods with a smile. "Bea too. The first two are reversed for Caleb. I will ask you the same thing I asked them. Where do you see you wanting to go, Ember? We need to know so we can plan and train appropriately."

I don't hesitate as I answer. There has only ever been one answer and I let it shine through my entire being. "Dauntless."

Her smile matches my own as we all look to each other. My heart beats faster now that I know I not only have family that cares but help in the fight I didn't know the scope of. I just thought it was my parents but it is so much larger than that. I have help and they will train me.

"Then we begin to train tomorrow. School's out for the next two months after the choosing ceremony in two weeks. During that we will intensify what we can. While training I will have clothes for you to wear. But around this sector and when not in Erudite or classes, you will wear the Abnegation dress." She finishes in the commanding but warm tone again.

"Yes Ma'am." I nod with a smile to her.

She squeezes my shoulders and nods. "Alright then. Go on up to bed and tomorrow we will begin."

After quick hugs to both of them I make my way upstairs and into my new room. I quickly change into my nightclothes. Somehow I already expect it when the knock comes.

I open the door and smile at my cousins as they come in. "I start training with you tomorrow. I think you and I Beatrice will be training more on the same things."

Beatrice smirks at her brother who took the seat at my small desk while we are both sitting cross legged on my bed. "Told you Caleb."

Caleb chuckles and gives a lopsided smile. "Yes you did Bea. But it was a close thing most likely."

I smile and nod. "Maybe, but there has only ever been one choice. My temper doesn't allow for anything else."

Caleb laughs quietly and nods. "Well then you and Bea should get along just fine. She is just like that. We didn't even really need the test to know that part."

That night I talk with my cousins late into the night getting to know them. Caleb puts up a good show of being very reserved and asshole'ish at times. He has adopted this manner on purpose to be able to work into the Erudite circles.

Bea doesn't exactly hide that she doesn't fit into Abnegation but she doesn't go all out.

I will have to walk a finer line because I need to show more that I am Dauntless. That shouldn't be too much of a problem though. We have to follow rules about where were train and how careful we are. Because of Abnegation's rules about food we have to substitute protein supplements, vitamins and adhere to those strictly to keep our strength.

Mine isn't bad because I have always been active just not in any type of physical fitness level. I find out that will change quickly.

It is never said openly but the three of us know that we are being trained as soldiers in this fight. More like operatives from the old spy movies really. Though it is scary the thought of not doing something is more terrifying.