Breathe
Summary: B-R-E-A-T-H-E. Say that to yourself when you are panicking/losing your mind. I guarantee that you will realize everything will be okay.
Breathe: Chapter 1- Kiss the Sky
See I've been searchin' for somethin' out there. When's it comin? Tell me what to tell myself when I drink too much that it hurts my health
Keep a smile on your face. Don't expose the pain. Make sure everyone doesn't suspect a thing. That was the pep talk I told myself. It kept me motivated that is why I always recite those three sentences to myself.
I am not a huge fan of letting people see me cry or even matters talk about my problems. I suppress them so far down that it consumes me. I rather do that, then explain why something is wrong. Don't get me wrong, I do mention my minor problems to very close friends because I feel comfortable talking to them about my issues. Problems that I consider severe, I keep to myself. I only keep them to myself because I don't feel comfortable talking about them.
My major problems usually deal with my anxiety or panic attacks. Not everyone will understand my struggle with the both of them. That is why I keep them to myself. If it gets to point where I cannot control it myself, I do find a way to distract myself, so I will not be anxious about the topic.
Let me apologize, I didn't introduce myself. My name is Marron Chestnut and welcome to my life. Many people think I am just an average nineteen year old girl. And I will agree with them, I am just an average nineteen year old girl, but there is nothing wrong with that. People can have a perception of me, but if I remain honest within myself, people's opinion will not affect me.
.
I sighed heavily. I needed to get out of the house tonight. Sometimes I feel as if I am trapped inside of my house especially being on this tiny island. It was too short of notice to call Valese to see if she wanted to come over. I thought walking on the beach wouldn't hurt.
I looked around my room until I spotted my headphones and found the playlist, "The Weeknd". His song 'Shameless' began to play as I placed the earbuds into my ears. I took a deep breath and excited my house making sure I had my keys to get back in.
These walks were beneficial for me. I was able to clear my mind. I don't know why, but sometimes I felt suffocated in my house. I have parental figures who care about me and are willing to talk to me about my problems, but I couldn't bother my parents all of the time.
Being set free sounds nice. Free of thinking my mind is against me even when I know the truth. I know that I'm not weak, I know I'm not alone, but I can't help to think that. I'm a prisoner in my own mind. I don't know when that happened or how it happened but it needed to stop.
My phone vibrated in my pocket causing to break my train of thought. It was my father who sent me text message:
8:35 pm Where did you go?
I read on the screen. I knew that they would discover that I would be gone quickly. They always do. They know when my ki disappears from the house. At least I came to an agree with myself. I am searching for a way to free myself. I don't want to be feeling this way for infinity.
A deep sigh came out of my mouth as I responded back to my father.
8:37 pm I'm safe don't worry.
I put my phone back in my pocket as I continued on my trek without a destination. I looked down on the sand and saw footsteps. Someone was here recently. Hopefully I won't run into them. I needed this time to figure my life out. I'm going to be on my own in a few years and I don't want to rely on my parents for everything. That is why I am doing this for myself to better myself.
A smile formed on my face. I can't recall the last time I was able to come to a conclusion this quickly. I am proud of myself. I turned around because I don't need to get some air to clear my mind.
There was something I was always thankful to learn at a young age. My father taught me how to sense ki. There are going to be times where I am going to away from my parents. So, if I search for my ki I could find them. I felt someone's ki, but I couldn't recognize who it is. I pulled one of the earbuds out of my ears in case I heard footsteps, but it was quiet.
Maybe it was the footsteps that I saw in the sand, but I don't see anyone. I know they are close, but it bothers me that I can't find. What happens if they follow me home and attack me? That is why the last thing I want to happen because I know my parents will not allow me to do this anymore.
"Hey" I manage to say. "I know that you are out there, just show yourself!" Once again, it was quiet, too quiet. The only thing I am able to hear is the waves crashing against the shore. I waited a few more seconds and no one appeared. I tried making a run for it and that was my mistake. I was tackled to the ground.
I knew the presence was a male figure with long hair that covered his face. I tried to pry him off of me, but he had the advantage, he was stronger than me. I knew from this moment I was a goner and I will never see my family again.
My fate, I had to accept it. Now, I wish I had just called Valese to come over, so I wouldn't have been in this situation. He knew that I was no longer putting up a fight, I allowed him to win. A small chuckle came out of him because he achieved what he wanted.
Before I could blink again, I didn't feel his body weight on top of me anymore. I didn't see him at all. There was another person there. Was it my father?
"Are you okay?" The mysterious person asked as they gave me a lending hand to get back on my feet.
I nodded my head as I brushed the sand off my body. "Yes, I am okay. Thank you for saving me." I thanked the person.
"My pleasure, would you want me to walk you back home? I did toss him off of you, but I don't know if he is still alive." The person asked.
I nodded my head again, "Yes, please I would appreciate that. Thank you." A smile formed across their face, "Can I get your name?"
"Trunks, and you?"
"Marron."
Trunks, you saved my life because I knew that I was goner. Maybe this is the beginning of searching for what I need in my life. Maybe I am getting ahead of myself, but there is one thing I did learn from my mother she said:
Only time will tell.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who made it this far. As the people who I told this story about, I changed it up. This story comes from scratch, this story will focus mainly on Marron and her anxiety. I am going back to college on Monday, so chapters will not be coming out as fast. Thank you guys for understanding. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it. This chapter is on the shorter side, but I promise they will get longer. Leave a review, I appreciate praise and criticism. I hope everyone had a happy new years.
Song Used: Kiss the Sky by Machine Gun Kelly