Shinigami Sex-Ed.
The day began like any other, booze enforced, well endowed fuku-Taichou ramblings and short people screaming obscenities. Yeah it was bright and sunny. And like any other sunny day someone cough the 10th division fuku-taichou cough came up with a brilliant idea which, much to everyone's disdain, was approved by that perverted old man … wait wrong person that's Urahara … I mean lovely old guy Yamamoto-Taichou-Person.
Class Has Begun
After being gathered in a hastily done function hall in the 1st division, everyone was questioning the exact reason they were there and Kuchiki-Taichou's decidedly questionable human apparel. As everyone was doing so, that taichou's guy whose name we still can't remember walked in and stood at the head of the room. A voice in the back of the room called out "We're not here because there's another war right?!? We're not gonna die?!? I'm too young to die!! I'm only…"
As Rukia slapped him on the back of the head Yamamoto interrupted him and said "Kurosaki I would advise you to hold your tongue," his voice trailed off as he said "Damn punky kids and their died orange hair,"
A few snickers were heard around the room as Kurosaki yelled "MY HAIR IS NOT DYED!!!"
Renji laughed, "believe what you want Strawberry!"
"At least I have eyebrows, Pineapple!"
Renji growled and pulled out Zabimaru. "That's it!" he yelled as Ichigo retaliated in kind, sparks flying between the two. Yamamoto angrily raised his reiatsu. "That is enough! You are acting like children and we are here for a reason!" he yelled. Ichigo and Renji froze swords held suspended in the air. Yamamoto continued rambling about how shinigami should act responsibly slowly reaching the reason they were there until he suddenly stopped. "Actually Kuchiki-Taichou, I'll allow you to continue on."
Byakuya had what resembled a look of shock horror etched onto his normally stoic face. "I'll pass this on to Unohana-Taichou, you know more on this … topic." He gestured, slowly regaining his composure. Rukia snickered as Unohana began to speak, "Due to the recommendations of a person who shall remain un-named, Yamamoto-Sou-Taichou has approved a mandatory sexual education class for all shinigami." Many of the shinigami gawked as others groaned in annoyance, "You have all been placed in groups of ten for this exercise and your times are on the board outside this room."
###
Renji and Ichigo stared at the board in disbelief. "There's no way in hell I'm doing THAT with him!" they said in sync, then turned to each other, "Shut up!"
"Will you two idiots shut the hell up. Because of Matsumoto, I've got to do this stupid thing with you! The least you could do is help me keep what is left of my sanity by shutting those over-used mouths of yours."
"Toshirou, are you even old enough to have sex-ed yet?" Ichigo asked.
"Shut up Kurosaki! Of course I am and it's HITSUGAYA-TAICHOU!"
"Yeah Yeah," he sighed, "Wait a minute! Is that Grimmjow's name on that list!?!?! Why the hell was I put with Ulquiorra?!"
"Sucked in Strawberry!"
"You're with me you dick!"
"Oh Shit! You're kidding!"
"Unfortunately I'm not Pineapple," he sighed, as Hitsugaya restrained the urge to smash his head against a hard surface at Renji's idiocy.
A/N: Hey guys! It's me again … for once here with a compilation fic with Shinioni Ate The Strawberry!! The next chapter shall be the class with Renji and Ichigo's group … if we get a high review count we shall do other groups … by the way we intentionally forgot Yamamoto's full name for the purpose of this story!! If you enjoyed this first chapter review for other groups to be done!