I wrote this one-shot for my best friend Lizz (Seventh_Sunset) for her very special birthday. She inspired this story after a conversation that we had, and I couldn't resist trying to make her birthday special.
Title: Don't Do It
Word Count: 2,360
Pairing: Puck/Rachel centric, mentions of Finn/Rachel
Rating: T for very strong language
Summary: How could she do something like this? Why would she be so stupid as to even consider it? Why the fuck would Rachel Berry, the one girl in this god forsaken town that deserved the world on a silver platter, want to lose her virginity to Finn Hudson, the boy who was too stupid to get his ass into college and actually have a chance to follow her to New York? It was stupid, the situation was stupid, the Jolly Stupid Giant was stupid!
Noah Puckerman walked down the near empty halls of McKinley, fists clenched at his sides and eyes filled with anger. How could she do something like this? Why would she be so stupid as to even consider it? Why the fuck would Rachel Berry, the one girl in this god forsaken town that deserved the world on a silver platter, want to lose her virginity to Finn Hudson, the boy who was too stupid to get his ass into college and actually have a chance to follow her to New York? It was stupid, the situation was stupid, the Jolly Stupid Giant was stupid!
He stormed through the double doors that led down the language hallway, and eventually wound up face to face with the choir room. From the tiny window, he saw her small frame leaning over the piano, glancing at the pieces of paper spread out on the shiny black surface. She looked so sweet, so gentle. How anyone could accuse her of the horrid things that they did, he'd never know.
Sighing heavily, the self-proclaimed badass reached for the door handle, second guessing his thoughts as the cool metal hit the palm of his hand. "It's now or never," he thought to himself. "You either tell her you love her now or you'll lose her forever." He wasn't ready to lose her, he never would be.
Noah pushed the door open, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "Berry," he greeted tersely, watching with his typical smirk on his face as her head whipped up, soft, chocolate curls falling in front of her face.
"Noah!" Rachel scolded, clutching a hand over her heart in a fashion that could only be described as Rachel Berry's dramatic tactics. "You can't just scare people like that! If I was older, you could have given me a heart attack and I might have died!"
"You can't just sleep with the first person that says they love you," he shot back, walking into the room slowly.
Rachel's face fell. There was no doubt in her mind that Finn told everyone of their plans. It was supposed to be special, between them because they were in love. Why would do this, how could he? The whole school didn't need to know that she was going to lose her virginity to the man she was convinced she was in love with. They didn't need to know, but now they did.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she whispered, swallowing the lump that settled in her throat as he took another step closer.
It wasn't fair that his presence was intoxicating, that she couldn't think straight when he was even so much as in the same room as her. It wasn't fair that he knew her better than anyone, that he actually cared because they were friends. Nothing about the situation was fair. Noah Puckerman wasn't fair, and for the first time, Rachel hated it.
"Yes, you do," Noah replied smoothly, closing the space between them to stand on the other side of the piano.
Inhaling deeply [she could smell the post-football practice sweat, his distinct scent of boy], she backed away from the piano, fingers clutching the men of her skirt in an attempt to calm herself. She did know what he was talking about, she knew better than anyone. She just didn't understand why it seemed to bother him so bad.
"No, I really do not," she declared, standing her ground as she walking back to the instrument, gathering her papers into neat little piles that only she was capable of. "Now if you'll excuse me, Noah, I really should be-"
"Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, Rachel," he said, cutting her off completely. He didn't have time to deal with the bullshit front she was putting up. He was her best friend, he shouldn't have to.
Noah rested his hands on the smooth surface, leaning towards her from across the piano. Her eyes gave her away, she was vulnerable. He knew she was, he had always known. Since freshman year when this all started, he knew that she was vulnerable. Whenever Finn turned her down, he watched her break just a tiny bit more. With every slushie and every insult, he watched her façade crack. Now she had the chance to feel wanted, and he knew she was going to take it, even if she shouldn't.
"Noah, it's really none of your business if Finn and I are planning on being intimate with each other."
"Don't give me that crap. You know it became my business when Finn came to me all smug and shit. You want to know what he said to me? 'She's finally going to give it up, man.' He didn't come to me all heartfelt and happy that you were happy. He came up to me and fucking bragged about getting in your pants," he said, straining to keep his composure.
"He would never do that," she choked out, tears welling in her dark brown eyes.
She knew that he would though. That was the same boy that never stood up for her, that let Noah stand up to Santana because he was incapable of doing that himself. He was the same boy that lied about sleeping with Santana, that broke up with Quinn at a funeral because he wanted what he couldn't have. She knew that he would do that. She just didn't want to believe that he would take her heart, the one thing that she let him have even when he didn't even deserve it, and break it as though it didn't matter. That was just who he was, and he would never change.
"I hate to say it, but you and I both know he would, Rachel." His voice was softer, almost pleading with her, pleading with her to stop pretending that Finn was her Prince Charming, to stop lying to herself and the people around her because she deserved more than being kept in the dark.
"I love him," Rachel whispered, as if it would change everything.
Noah sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. She would never understand, not until someone laid it out for her.
"I know you love him. I look at you every day and wonder what's so perfect about Finn fucking Hudson. He treats you like shit if you haven't noticed. He's always trying to change you as if you aren't perfect on your own. He fucks you over every single time and then you take him back. I don't even know why! I don't know why you love him, but I know that you do, and that might be the most fucked up thing about this entire situation." His chest was heaving, his face tinted red with anger.
"You have no idea what you're talking about!" she screamed, backing away from the piano, tears streaking her cheeks. "I love Finn and Finn loves me!"
He took a moment to look at her, truly look at how broken she was. She wasn't the same person that he grew up with. She wasn't the girl with fire in her eyes and passion in her heart. Instead, she was broken, shattered into pieces even he couldn't put back together. She was cold and lifeless, thrown into a situation she didn't deserve. She deserved the world, and he knew that Finn couldn't give that to her. No one here could, but how he'd love to be that perfect person for her.
Shoving his hands into his pockets, he walked around the piano and across the room to stand next to her, back against the wall as she tried to stop her tears. He didn't reach for her, didn't make an effort to comfort her. She was still Finn's girl, and he wouldn't cross that line, even at a time like this.
"Don't do it," he said softly, turning his head to look down at her. "You'll regret it one day. Don't have sex with Finn. Don't make the same mistake that I did. You think that I wanted to be a man whore for these past years? Not entirely. Sure, the sex was good and the girls were hot, but even I would have rather waited. Losing it to San's babysitter was just weird and it didn't mean anything. Don't make that mistake."
"What happened to waiting until you were twenty-five?" he asked, glancing up at the ceiling. "When we dated, you didn't even let me touch your boobs, and now you're going to jump into bed with Finn, the guy who treats you like crap? I don't understand it."
"It's the only way I'll keep him. If I don't do this, he'll go back to Quinn. You know that, Noah. If Finn has this part of me, he'll know that I love him." Her voice cracked, and for a moment, he thought someone had abducted the real Rachel Berry, because the girl he knew would never even consider something that stupid.
Noah pushed away from the wall, moving to stand in front of her, taking her face in both of his hands.
His calloused fingers were rough against her smooth skin, and there was a pain in his eyes that she never saw before. As desperately as she wanted to look away, it was as though his look alone put her in a trance. He had never stood this close, he never talked with such conviction and meaning. For a moment so brief, she wondered what his intentions were, but her thoughts were silenced as he began to speak.
"He doesn't deserve you, Rach. He doesn't deserve to see you smile, he doesn't deserve to see you laugh. He shouldn't be the reason that your eyes light up in that ridiculously adorable way that makes you look like a little kid on the last day of Hanukkah." He sighed, dropped his head but still cradling her face in palms. "You deserve someone that doesn't try to change who you are. You need someone that doesn't try to change who you are. Why don't you see that? You deserve someone who looks at you with adoration. You deserve the entire world if I thought someone could give it to you. I'd never be perfect for you, but damn it, I'd be so much better than him."
As soon as he realized that the words had tumbled from his lips, he was backing away with his arms up, an apology on his face. "I didn't mean… fuck, Rach. I did mean that."
"Noah, what did you mean?" she asked, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Brown met hazel when he locked his gaze with hers, watching emotions dance behind the shield that protected her for so long.
"How do you not see it?" he questioned, exasperated. "I'm in love with you, Rachel. Head over heels in that romantic movie way, that's how I love you. I don't even understand why. I lied to you, you know. I wasn't going to break up with you. Ever since that day on the bleachers it's like you've been on my mind all the time. Jesse St. Fuckface and the Jolly Giant always got there before I did."
Rachel closed her eyes, leaning her head back against the wall, thinking back to the conversation she had with Santana just a few days ago when she asked the girls their opinions on her plan to have sex with Finn. "No. Listen to me, Rachel. Look at Noah. Really look at him. I see the way he looks at you every time you walk into a room. It's like his eyes light up every single time you breeze past him. He looks at you with a look of adoration every single time you sing a solo. He's never once tried to change you, he's always accepted you for who you are. You deserve someone who looks at you like he looks at you. I'm not saying that you have to jump right into bed with Noah, but... at least consider the fact that Finn isn't the only person in love with you," she had said.
"He's always been Puck to the rest of us. That pompous asshole that thinks he's entitled to the entire world because he's the best fuck in town. Yet, he's never been that to you, Rachel. You know he's always been different. He's been Noah to you for as long as I can remember. At one time I hated it, but now I just look at you two and see how perfect you are together. So whenever you pull your head out of Finn Hudson's ass, look at the other person who's always been there for you."
She had thought that Santana was joking, that the Latina didn't know what she was talking about, but as she looked at the boy with the mohawk that stood in front of her with a pained expression on his face, she knew that what she was looking for was right there all along. Maybe they wouldn't last past high school, maybe they wouldn't ever be a couple at all, but there was a soft spot in her heart for him, and a spot in his heart that was hers, rightfully so.
"You love me," she stated simply, walking to him and grasping his hand with her [much] smaller one.
"I'm pretty stupid to, but yeah, I love you."
In that moment, his lips were on hers, sweet and soft in a way she had never felt before. Finn had always been clumsy, never giving her the shock and spark that she needed from him. Noah's lips were soft as her free hand grasped at his bicep, so different from the rest of him. He was such a hardened person, from his muscles to his personality, but his lips were impossibly smooth, intoxicating even.
Pulling away, he looked down at the tiny brunette that had wormed her way into his heart.
"Don't do it," he whispered, hoping that this meant as much to her as it did to him.
"I'm not going to."
Rachel never did have sex with Finn. It actually wasn't until eight years later that she lost her virginity to her boyfriend, Noah Puckerman after her performance as Maria in West Side Story on Broadway. She was twenty-five, just as she had planned, and yes, it was perfect.