Swap Meat
SCENE 1
Sam and Dean are in the Men of Letters Bunker sitting around in the Library. Dean is on his laptop with his feet up on the table. Sam has a large crate with old artifact in it. Dean looks up from his laptop.
DEAN
Now what are you doing?
SAM
What does it look like? Cataloging
DEAN
You're such a nerd.
SAM
Well somebody's got to do it and Lord knows you're not going to.
DEAN
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
SAM
Nevermind…
DEAN
No say it.
SAM
Just forget it Dean.
DEAN
Fine, Nerd.
Sam looks up from his work and huffs angrily.
SAM
You know why I'm pissed at you?
DEAN
Enlighten me.
SAM
You never help out around here. I'm killing myself cataloging hundred of artifacts here it seems as if you could care less.
DEAN
Hey you choose to do the work Poindexter.
SAM
And that's the other thing. I hate the name-calling!
DEAN
Oh God stop being a little bitch.
SAM
I'm so sick of you.
Dean stands up
DEAN
And you don't think I've got issues with you?
Sam crosses his arms across his chest.
SAM
Oh please what problems could you possibly have with me?
DEAN
Well for one you think you're next to perfect.
SAM
No I don't!
DEAN
And nothing is ever your fault; your hair clogs up the fricken shower drain.
SAM
My hair in the shower? What about your food everywhere?! Have you heard of washing a dish or two?
They argue back and forth for a couple of minutes pointing out all of their small petty flaws. As they yelled at each other one of the artifacts Sam was cataloging begins to glow. Sam and Dean don't realize it.
You know what just do both of us a favor and don't talk to me.
DEAN
Fine by me.
Dean walks out of the Library and into his room slamming the door on his way in. Sam ends up doing the exact same thing.
SCENE 2
Dean wakes up very confused. He opens his eyes and realizes that he's in Sam's room. In his head he thinks at first that maybe he came in here and Sam knocked him out. Dean sits up in Sam's bed and runs his hand through his hair, which is no longer short. It's long, very long. Dean quickly retracts his hand.
DEAN
What the hell?
He notices that's not his voice. He gets up from the bed to run to the bathroom and realizes he feels taller. He then examines his pajama shirt, which was Sam's old Stanford T-shirt. Dean gets to the bathroom dashes to the mirror. He see's Sam reflection staring back at him. Dean screams.
Oh my God! Sam! Sam!
Sam comes running in and stops in his tracks the minute he see's himself stare back at him.
SAM
Wha-who the hell are you?
DEAN
It's me and you're not who you think you are.
Sam touches his hair and then runs to the mirror to see Dean's reflection.
SAM
Oh no.
DEAN
How did this happen?
SAM
We must of switched bodies somehow.
DEAN
What gave it away genius?
SAM
Seriously? You still gotta pick on me even during this?!
DEAN
Get that lame expression off my face.
Sam gives him a bitch face when they hear the doorbell ring. They head to the front door of the bunker to answer it. Dean opens the door and it's Charlie. She smiles at them.
CHARLIE
What's up bitches?
She lets herself into the Bunker. Sam and Dean stare at her with a blank expression.
What? Did you guys forget we had a date with the Star Wars Trilogy?
Charlie looks at Sam.
How's it going on Sam?
Sam in Dean's body responds with a growl.
SAM
Fine.
CHARLIE
I mean I asked Sam but Dean good to know you're fine.
They walk down the steps into the main Library. Dean leans on the wall and Sam leans on the table keeping a fair distance from each other. Charlie can feel the tension.
Something wrong?
DEAN
Why don't you ask Sam?
CHARLIE
You are Sam…
SAM
No he's not. I am.
Charlie whips her head around facing Dean's body.
CHARLIE
I'm sorry, I'm confused.
DEAN
Sam and I for some reason switched bodies.
CHARLIE
Whoa seriously? So this is like "Freaky Friday"?
DEAN
Except without the comedy.
CHARLIE
Okay so how do we switch you back?
DEAN
Why don't you ask Einstein over there since this was his doing.
Sam stands up straight and shouts
SAM
How many times do I have to tell you, this wasn't my fault!
Charlie gets in between the two and puts her hands out to her side before they could get any further.
CHARLIE
Guys! Guys! Relax, we'll figure this out but fighting isn't going to solve anything.
SAM
You know you're right, Charlie. Fighting won't solve anything and all Dean and I seem to do is fight and I'm sick of it. I'm also sick and tired of being your brother.
Charlie turns to Sam. Charlie starts.
CHARLIE
Sam…
DEAN
No, that's okay Charlie. You don't want to be my brother anymore? That's fine.
Dean storms out of the Bunker.
SCENE 3
A couple of hours have gone by and Sam is in the Library with a book open and a beer bottle cracked open. Charlie walks into the room with her phone attached to her ear.
CHARLIE
Dean this is like the 50th message I left for you. Please come back to the Bunker. We can work this out. Call me back.
She hangs up the phone with a frustrated sigh and then plops into the seat across from Sam.
SAM
Any luck?
CHARLIE
No. Dea- Sam, why did you have to say that?
SAM
I was pissed.
CHARLIE
So you disown him?!
SAM
Charlie you don't know what it's been like for the past couple of months.
CHARLIE
You mean since you found out Dean let an angel possess you?
SAM
You knew about that huh?
CHARLIE
Dean told me. He was desperate Sam.
SAM
That's not an excuse.
CHARLIE
You should try to forgive him.
SAM
This isn't the first time he did this.
Charlie begins to rummage through the crate that Sam was cataloging earlier. She takes out the artifact that switched them. It was a brown earn with 2 arrows facing opposite ways.
CHARLIE
I've seen this before.
SAM
Where?
CHARLIE
I've done some research on ancient artifacts relating back to early 1400's. I remember reading about this one.
SAM
What did it say?
CHARLIE
Well basically the artifact was used to create order in tribes. When two people in a tribe weren't getting along they would bring this bad boy out to show other peoples perspective. It also helped worked out their issues.
SAM
So it wants Sam and Dean to make nice.
CHARLIE
Pretty much.
Dean struts his way down the stairs with a smirk on his face. Charlie stands up and waits for an outburst from Sam. Sam has yet to look up from his book until Dean makes his way into the Library. Sam's eyes get wide and filled with anger. Dean had cut Sam's hair to the same length as Dean's. Sam stands up.
SAM
You c-cut my hair?!
DEAN
You know I've always wanted to trim these locks and now since we're not brothers any more I thought this would be the perfect time.
Dean runs his hand through Sam's, now short, hair.
I think it looks good Sam. What do you think?
SAM
You son of a bitch! I'm going to kill you!
Sam advances towards Dean. Charlie once again gets in the middle and pushes Sam, with all her might, away from Dean.
CHARLIE
Don't! Hey! That's enough!
Sam and Dean are still fuming.
Sit down the both of you!
Sam and Dean sit on opposite sides of each other at the Library table.
Good. Now if you guys got your heads out of your ass's for 2 minutes you would see the only way you two are switching back is if you work your problems out. Now you clearly have some major issues to talk about and I'm not talking about the petty stuff. This artifact wouldn't have activated if it was a small problem. So if you want to switch back today you're gonna have to start talking.
Sam and Dean stay quiet for a second. Charlie yells.
Now!
SAM
Well I'll start.
Dean rolls his eyes.
DEAN
Here we go.
CHARLIE
Let him speak.
SAM
You let an angel possess me and tricked me to say yes.
DEAN
Yeah. And I saved your life in the process.
SAM
And I killed Kevin as a consequence!
DEAN
You don't think I think about that everyday? His blood is on my hands and that ain't never getting clean.
SAM
But I'm the one who pulled the trigger.
DEAN
So what are you trying to tell me? That you would rather die?
SAM
I would've liked the choice. I would've liked to be able to pick my fate without consulting my older brother.
DEAN
Oh so now we're brothers?
SAM
Oh grow up.
Dean stands up and yells.
DEAN
No! You grow up! All you ever do is run! You ran away to Stanford. You ran to Ruby. You ran to the Trials and now you're running to death! So yeah Sam I brought you back from the dead and I let an angel possess you but I'm not sorry for it. I only have one brother and it's been my job since Mom died to look out for you and I will abide that task until the day I die. So if you don't want me to be your brother and you don't want to do the same for me, that's fine. I'm still going to save you every time because death is just not an option.
Sam slowly stands up.
SAM
Dean. I-I don't know what to say. Maybe it's watching my face saying it but I understand what you're saying.
Dean is surprised.
DEAN
You do?
SAM
Yeah I do. But you have to understand that, yes I'm your little brother but I can make decisions for myself.
DEAN
I know that.
SAM
And you can't protect me every step of the way, although I know you'll try. I'm not trying to run away from you Dean. I just want us to be partners. Equal partners. So if I, down the road, want to go another path, I expect you to respect that. You don't have to understand it, just respect it.
DEAN
Sam…
SAM
I'm not going to kill myself Dean. But if we end up like we did in that church last year, I got to make my own decisions.
DEAN
Okay.
Dean pulls his arm straight out for Sam to shake.
You have my word.
Sam grabs his hand. The second they clasp hands a surge of lightening goes through them knocking them on the ground. Charlie runs to Sam's body and tries to shake him awake.
CHARLIE
Oh my God Dean wake up! Dean!
Sam's eyes begin to flutter and Charlie sighs a sigh of relief.
SAM
I'm not Dean.
Sam slowly stands up and examines his clothes and body. Dean gets up as well and realizes he's in his own body.
DEAN
Yes! I'm back.
SAM
Me too.
CHARLIE
See I told you that all you had to do was talk it out.
DEAN
Yeah you did.
SAM
We owe you one.
CHARLIE
Don't sweat it.
SCENE 4
Charlie is headed up the stairs to the leave the Bunker with Sam and Dean trailing behind her.
CHARLIE
You guys sure you're okay?
SAM
Yeah I think we'll be okay.
CHARLIE
Try not to kill each other while I'm gone.
Dean smiles.
DEAN
We'll try not to. Sorry we couldn't get that Star Wars Marathon in.
CHARLIE
No worries. The Death Star will just have to wait for another day.
They stop at the door. Charlie turns around to face Sam and Dean.
Promise me you'll call if you need anything.
DEAN
Promise.
Dean gives Charlie a hug, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling away. She then faces Sam. She reaches for Sam's hair.
CHARLIE
You know it's not that bad. I like it.
SAM
Yeah well we'll see if I keep it.
Sam gives Charlie a hug as well. Charlie pats Sam on the arm and gives him a smile. She then opens the door and gives them a peace sign.
CHARLIE
Smell ya later bitches.
Sam and Dean smile back at her and watch Charlie maker her way out of the Bunker. Dean then closes the door. As Sam makes his way down into the Library, Dean catches up with him.
DEAN
Hey hold up.
Sam stops and turns around.
I want to apologize.
SAM
Dean, you already did.
DEAN
No I mean about all the hurtful things I said and well I mean the hair.
Dean points to Sam's hair. Sam laughs.
SAM
Yeah well all is forgiven. It'll grow back eventually. And I'm sorry too about all the messed up stuff I said.
DEAN
Not a problem. We're cool.
SAM
Ok cool. Hey you want to maybe grab a beer together. You know get out of here and watch the Jayhawks game.
DEAN
Yeah that'd be awesome.
SAM
Cool.
Sam smiles at Dean and Dean returns the gesture.
THE END