DISCLAIMER: Junjo Romantica (anime/manga series) story and characters are owned by the creator Nakamura Shungiku and affiliates. This story borrows characters and situations from the Junjo Romantica series and is 100% fan-made and nonprofit. Also, suing a near broke college student will gain you nothing! So please don't do it!

If you've found yourself here and you don't like BL/yaoi, I suggest you jump ship NOW! Seriously.

This is my first proper chapter story for the Egoist couple. I had the idea nearly 2 years ago, but it took me a while to finally write it. Please enjoy the first chapter!

Chapter 1

A tepid breeze traveled from the window of Hiroki's study, brushing past the translucent curtains, bringing with it the echo of rustling leaves that begged him to move. Hiroki had shut off his laptop and reclined in his chair after revising a lesson plan. He slipped off his reading glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose, letting his cinnamon brown eyes rest as a mild pain pulsed in his head.

With summer break dwindling and the start of fall session less than two days away, the workload Hiroki had powered through over the past month was finally taking a toll on him. Stacks of reports and recently completed articles occupied his desk—all physical embodiments of his efforts as a literature professor.

He glanced at the dozens of opened texts lined on the floor in front of his bookshelf, made colorful by countless protruding page tags. As much as Hiroki needed to rest, he couldn't bring himself to do so. The thought of doing nothing burdened him with unease as did the quietness of his home. The feeling traced back to his first few weeks of summer break. Silence and solitude, two things that normally brought Hiroki comfort, left him with the feeling of time wasted.

The prospect of leisure felt odd, especially considering how busy his partner Nowaki was at the hospital. The further Nowaki progressed in his training, the more common it was for Nowaki to be at work most hours of the day. He would often return home in the early morning. Hiroki was used to his partner's schedule and long ago accepted that Nowaki would likely never catch a proper break, regardless of holidays or special occasions. And with the scorching summer weather came a rise of heat-related ailments, making for more emergency cases. Despite Hiroki being on break for the past month, at most he and Nowaki could expect to spend the weekends together, but even that was a stretch.

Hiroki groaned as he shifted upright in his chair, musing on what to do next. Besides work related endeavors, Hiroki had dedicated his time to ensuring Nowaki was comfortable and well rested whenever he was home. Most mornings, Hiroki would wake early to prepare breakfast and a bento for Nowaki, and most evenings he would cook dinner. Hiroki usually replicated dishes Nowaki had made for him in the past. And occasionally, when Hiroki felt adventurous, he'd try new recipes. Hiroki also took care of the laundry, the cleaning, and the bills among other things despite Nowaki insisting their chores remain equally divided. Hiroki wouldn't say it aloud, but he enjoyed keeping busy with household manners.

Hiroki's cell phone buzzed over his desk, breaking through his deafening muse. Upon checking the device, Hiroki found a text from none other than Nowaki saying he would be home earlier than usual.

"Damn," Hiroki muttered as he became aware of the time. The evening had reared its head despite daylight glowing against the curtains. He hadn't started dinner yet, and there were still a few things he wanted to take care of before then. He sprang from his seat, nearly tripping over one of the legs of his swivel office chair.

-—-

Hiroki turned off the stovetop before settling at the dining table with a novel in hand. The words on the page did little for him as his eyes wandered to the clock hanging on the wall in the living room. Nearly two hours had passed since he received Nowaki's message. Suddenly, Hiroki realized that Nowaki never stated a time for his return, only that he would be home earlier than usual which could've been any time from the moment Nowaki sent the message till late into the night. Hiroki sniggered bitterly, both amused and agitated by his own stupidity.

Resting his forearms over the table, he closed his eyes and brought a palm to his forehead. The clock ticked three times before he glanced at it again. As he watched the long hand ascend to the eight, the front door unlatched. At least, he thought it did. Without bothering to check, Hiroki dismissed the inkling, knowing if Nowaki was home he would call out "Hiro-san" without delay. He closed his eyes again, letting his ears soak in the ticking of the clock and the imaginary sounds of someone shuffling his way.

"I'm home, Hiro-san." A warm breath caressed his ear, tensing his shoulders and sending his body into a chilling shudder.

"Shit!" Hiroki sprang from his seat, his thighs nearly colliding with the edge of the table. He turned to view the cause of his shock.

Nowaki stood before him with a brimming smile, his azure eyes as bright as ever, accentuated by his dark hair that appeared midnight blue under the light.

"Nowaki! I didn't hear you come in!" In truth he did, he just hadn't believed it.

"I know," Nowaki chuckled.

"Dinner is ready. I made ramen," Hiroki averted his eyes and began walking to the stove.

He reached the counter and glanced at his partner whose gaze remained on him. Nowaki was wide-eyed in a state of wonder that quickly smoothed into a melting, borderline seductive gaze.

"What are you doing?" Hiroki frowned, disconcerted by his partner's behavior. It was hardly the time or situation for either of them to be having such thoughts. But to Hiroki's dismay, Nowaki's gaze had already gotten to him. The uncharacteristic V-neck of Nowaki's gray long sleeved shirt exposing his collarbone didn't help matters.

"I'm glad you finally decided to wear it." A faint blush flourished on Nowaki's cheeks as he approached Hiroki with small steps, as though taking caution for impending danger.

Hiroki sprung back in alarm, clutching the waist of his apron. He clenched his teeth, withholding profanities as he scrutinized the pink fabric. The apron had frills bordering the edge of the skirt, something a respectable man would never wear. Nowaki had given it to him as a gag present a few years back. At least, Hiroki hoped it was a gag and not something he was expected to wear to satisfy Nowaki's fetishes.

After receiving Nowaki's text, Hiroki had searched in vain for his regular apron when he found the pink one at the bottom of his pants drawer. He knew the pending embarrassment that came with wearing it but planned to take it off before Nowaki came home. He hadn't expected the garment would feel so comfortable he'd forget he was wearing it.

"It hugs nicely to your body. You look so cute!" Nowaki clasped his hands in excitement. "But you're supposed to be naked underneath. That's part of the fantasy."

Hiroki scowled, backing further away as he reached behind to untie the apron with his fidgety fingers.

"You've got some nerve, joking around like that!" Hiroki lifted the loop over his neck. "Take it! It's yours!" He flung the material forward and watched it drape over Nowaki's head.

Nowaki pulled off the apron and sighed in disappointment, "I didn't get to hold you while you were wearing it…"

How Nowaki could be so playful after a hard workday was beyond Hiroki. In a way, it was one of Nowaki's most admirable traits, one of many Hiroki came to treasure throughout the years.

After they settled at the table for dinner, some of Hiroki's fervid tension cooled as the noise of their earlier interaction slipped into tranquility.

"This is delicious." Nowaki lifted a slice of pork with his chopsticks and slipped it into his mouth.

"Thanks." Hiroki's face warmed. Regardless how common Nowaki's compliments were, Hiroki always found himself clinging to them. Any chance he had of receiving Nowaki's affection was precious.

He observed Nowaki's features, finding himself increasingly unnerved by the hints of fatigue that had grown more pronounced on Nowaki's face over the past month. The dark circles under Nowaki's eyes betrayed his lively, youthful energy. Hiroki wanted to lift the stress from Nowaki's shoulders, to make his hectic work life easier, and all the same he knew there wasn't much he could do.

After dinner, Hiroki gathered their dishes to the sink. He intended to wash everything himself, but his partner insisted on helping. Nowaki ignored Hiroki's explanation that there wasn't much to clean, that Nowaki should rest or take a bath instead.

Hiroki turned the handle of the faucet to start the water, suppressing the urge to shake Nowaki off him. He was too tired himself to let a potential fit of temper drain the rest of his strength for the day. Hiroki squeezed a strip of dishwashing soap onto the sponge and began scrubbing the interior of the pot he had used to boil the noodles.

Nowaki reached the inner ledge of the sink and retrieved the extra sponge. He then began cleaning the exterior of the pot. Leaning forward, Nowaki pressed his chest to Hiroki's shoulders. Hiroki thought of complaining, noting there was more than enough space for them to stand beside each other, but the thought faded as his tense body relaxed under their proximity.

Hiroki retrieved the last bowl and wiped the rim while Nowaki placed his hand over Hiroki's, guiding it around the exterior and again to the rim. The hot water streamed across their fingers, taking the form of their bones. Those bothersome thoughts Hiroki had earlier about his partner's subtle seduction returned.

Nowaki turned off the water, letting the last few drops hit the surface of the sink as silence claimed the air. Curling his arms around Hiroki's torso, he brought their bodies closer, ridding the gap between them as he leaned in further to kiss Hiroki's cheek. Hiroki sighed and shut his eyes, absorbing the feel of Nowaki against him. He twitched in surprise when Nowaki's warm wet fingers traveled beneath his shirt and explored the area of his navel. The finger's traced just above the button of Hiroki's slacks before unfastening them.

Pulling down the zipper, Nowaki slid his digits beneath Hiroki's briefs and began stroking the man's already swelled length. Slow to start, Nowaki pumped Hiroki as another hand worked around Hiroki's waist to push down his briefs. Hiroki's breath hitched as his erection thumped harder under Nowaki's hot touch, a moan trickling from his throat. The rhythm was patient, almost to a painful degree, before progressing into a faster, feverish one. Arching his back, Hiroki bent over the sink, gripping the faucet, bracing the dizzying momentum within him.

"Let's take a bath." Nowaki grazed his lips along Hiroki's ear.

Hiroki kept his lips tight, trying to hold in another moan as he felt Nowaki's clothed bulge press against his backside. "You're still going on about that idea? Give it up," Hiroki muttered.

"Hiro-san, we haven't done it in a long time." Nowaki's lips remained at Hiroki's ear, unfastening the top buttons of Hiroki's shirt. "We're going to have sex anyway. We may as well clean ourselves while we're at it."

Hiroki chuckled, "You say it simply, but I know we'll end up taking longer than usual." He recalled the embarrassing memory of their last bath together. They were at it for so long he passed out from both the heat of the bath and their activity. While Hiroki wasn't fond of potentially repeating the incident, he was well aware that he was falling for Nowaki's game with that comment of his.

"Of course." Nowaki pulled him along by the hand.

Almost immediately after entering the bathroom, they discarded their clothes, strewing most of them at the door with Hiroki's shirt pooled at his feet. Nowaki led him near the tub and pinned him to the wall, his lips traveling gingerly across Hiroki's chest and up the neck as he seized the side of Hiroki's ass. Nowaki swept a hand under Hiroki's thigh, guiding the leg over his waist.

"What are your plans tomorrow?" Nowaki's voice was husky as he swayed his hips, pressing their groins together.

"Errands." Hiroki managed to utter despite his unraveled composure.

"I shouldn't have work tomorrow. So I'll spend the day with you." Nowaki grabbed the shower head from the wall and guided their activity to the floor.

The word shouldn't implied uncertainty, but Hiroki hardly considered it as Nowaki drenched him with jetting water, the tingling pressure massaging his flesh. As they took turns lathering each other in body wash, Hiroki found himself lost in the shape of his partner's body. Hiroki closed his eyes and let his hands caress Nowaki's broad shoulders, collarbone, and neck. Warm kisses lingered on Hiroki's forehead, at the corner of his eyes, and on his lips. Hiroki could feel Nowaki shifting over him, palm traveling up his spine, prompting him to arch his back.

Nowaki's palm passed between his shoulder blades and cradled the back of his head. Hiroki was soon swept away by Nowaki's rhythm, the way he swayed inside him, knowing exactly where to apply pressure, when to move faster. Hiroki's subdued cries floated among the mist of the bathroom. He held on tight to his partner, focusing on Nowaki's humming throat, the moans of pleasure that wove with his own. They hadn't made it into the bath yet and Hiroki was already drowning.

-—-

Hiroki woke the next morning, finding a note on his nightstand. Nowaki had received another emergency call from the hospital and left a few hours earlier. Groaning, Hiroki crumpled the note and tossed it to the floor. He figured this would happen; he would've been surprised if it hadn't, and yet he was irritated. Without caring to arrange the covers, Hiroki left his bed and headed for the bathroom.

He splashed his face with cold water until he was out of his morning slump and in tune with his senses again. He observed the draining water as it cascaded. The thick sound of it being gulped down whipped his ears. He knew if he didn't keep busy, wishful thinking and unreasonable disappointment would cloud him. After washing up and changing into semi-professional attire, save for his tie, he packed his laptop and other materials and left for the university where more prep awaited him.

By evening, Hiroki had gone grocery shopping, returned home to place everything in its proper storage, and was headed to the bookstore. Hiroki received a call from Nowaki saying he was off work, and they made plans to meet in front of the new bookstore that had recently opened two blocks from their home. When they saw each other, nothing more than simple greetings passed between them as Nowaki parked his bike.

The air conditioning from the store struck them upon entrance, resembling the discomfort of winter more than any relief it was meant to provide from the warm weather. Hiroki noticed Nowaki offering a tender smile, but he shifted his focus ahead as he felt himself growing flustered; it was neither the time nor place to indulge. It wasn't like they were on a date, Hiroki was simply here to gather needed materials, and even if they were on a date the current dissonance between them would've extinguished any pleasure to be had.

They parted further into the store with Hiroki in Classical Literature and Nowaki in the Health & Wellness aisle. It took only a few minutes for Hiroki to find the novels he wanted before he began searching for Nowaki. Hiroki quickly found Nowaki in his respective aisle browsing through a textbook of some sort. Hiroki was on the verge of calling out to him when another voice rushed in.

"Hey, Kusama!" An anonymous man called from the other end of the aisle, catching Nowaki's attention.

Hiroki kept moving, thinking the voice belonged to Tsumori, Nowaki's senpai from the hospital. No one else came to mind, and Hiroki knew how clingy that presumptuous guy could be around Nowaki. He thought he'd be dealing with a familiar situation. He wasn't expecting to be bulldozed by unwanted nostalgia.

Hiroki's entire being froze when the person in question came into view. He was an older looking man, donning standard business attire, a briefcase at his side. He had dusty brown hair, his eyes narrow and gray.

"Shinoda-san," Nowaki responded brightly.

The need to retreat compelled Hiroki, and so he darted to the tail end of the shelf. He remembered those gray eyes piercing into him, that evenly parted hairstyle, that assertive personality, and worst of all the brief affair they'd shared years ago. An odd wave of emotions mingled within him—regret, fear, aggravation. Hiroki gripped the books in his arms, groaning as small bits of his memories with Shinoda seeped into his mind. He remembered how they met, the irksome way the guy would steal kisses from him…

It was all snowballing, leaving Hiroki desperate for control. That part of his life was over. He hadn't spoken to Shinoda in years. The man had absolutely no bearing on Hiroki's present life or his future. "So why am I hiding?" Hiroki grumbled to himself, pressing his fingers against the wrinkles formed by his furrowed brows.

If he carried on, this anxiety, for sure, would cripple him from taking action. The important thing was to stay calm and figure out Nowaki's relationship with Shinoda. Hiroki leaned against the shelf and peeked over the side in an attempt to eavesdrop, but their voices were drowned by the chatter of passing customers.

Nowaki seemed to be listening intently to Shinoda who rambled on. Their body language was relaxed and casual, making it obvious they'd interacted before. At times, Nowaki's eyes would widen in apparent fascination and his chest would rise with laughter. It was disheartening for Hiroki to see his partner acting in such a way with another person, infuriating even.

Hiroki pulled his cell phone from his pocket, fully set on texting Nowaki to meet him at the checkout, anything to stop the conversation. When he began typing the message, a generic ringtone sounded from the aisle. Hiroki peered back to find the source. The tone stopped as Shinoda flipped open his phone, speaking on it briefly before hanging up. Hiroki, feeling the pressure of time, concentrated on his own message and pressed send.

He took another glance at the two men before walking to the checkout. Shinoda handed a small card and pen to Nowaki who scribbled something on the card before returning it. Though it could've been a simple exchange of business information, Hiroki couldn't help but interpret it as a personal phone number exchange, or at least consider it a possibility.

Minutes later, Nowaki approached Hiroki in line. The quick response was unexpected. Hiroki had thought the two would've had more to discuss, or that Nowaki would've continued browsing. "Did you find anything?" Hiroki asked, debating whether to question Nowaki about the encounter.

"No, I was just browsing. I also saw a patient of mine by chance."

Hiroki found himself wondering where Shinoda had gone. Had he and Nowaki parted ways, or was Shinoda coming their way?

"Oh?" Hiroki's brows raised, feigning surprise.

The answer only quelled a small portion of Hiroki's anxiety; he was far from okay with their association. He wanted more information but couldn't think of how to inquire it without revealing the reason for his curiosity, ergo revealing his past relationship with Shinoda.

Though he and Nowaki had been dating for about ten years now, Hiroki never told Nowaki about his past affairs or many other things for that matter. Hiroki figured if there was no reason to mention it then he shouldn't have to. The current relation was Nowaki's business, not his. As long as Shinoda wasn't causing trouble, there was nothing to worry about.

He glanced at Nowaki and was stunned to see him with downcast eyes. Nowaki hardly ever showed his troubled feelings in public or even in private. Hiroki wanted to reach out, to provide his partner with some kind of physical comfort, but he was admittedly intimidated by the situation. Such reservation, however, didn't stop Hiroki from calling his partner's name unthinkingly. In response, Nowaki's eyes widened as he was drawn back to the current moment.

"What's wrong?" Hiroki asked. His feelings and concerns weren't going to be restrained because of their surroundings.

Nowaki plastered on a half-smile. "Nothing, I'm okay."

There was nothing left for Hiroki to say after that. He wasn't going to press the issue if Nowaki didn't want to talk about it.

-—-

Their walk home was unnervingly silent, and the stillness of their surroundings only heightened the feeling. They'd taken their favorite alternative route where the streetlights enhanced the fading hue of the setting sun. There was nothing in the distance that hadn't already been shaded by the evening darkness, leaving nothing for Hiroki to focus on but the sound of Nowaki rolling his bike along.

They walked along the sidewalk of the local park, passing under a maple tree with its branches extended over the sidewalk. A sudden chilling wind shook the leaves, causing a few of them to flee. One swayed towards them, tangling in the spokes of Nowaki's front bicycle wheel. He bent to retrieve the leaf and observed it. The maple bore most of its emerald color, but the outburst of yellow spreading from the left displayed a struggle for the better shades of life.

"Fall is coming early this year." Nowaki twirled the stem between his thumb and index.

"It seems." Hiroki continued walking, leaving an air of disinterest. He could only think about making it home and leaving the weight of their current awkwardness at the door.

"Hiro-san, are you upset with me?"

Hiroki stopped at Nowaki's words, turning his attention to his partner. He immediately regretted his dismissive behavior once he saw that downcast expression masking Nowaki's bright spirit. Though he knew there was something wrong with Nowaki, he hadn't expected that kind of question.

Nowaki dropped the leaf over the lawn. "I'm sorry. I really wanted to be with you on your last day off."

Those words caused aching ripples in Hiroki's heart, echoing the disappointment he'd felt that morning when he woke to find Nowaki gone. He'd managed to suppress the feeling all day, but now that he acknowledged it again he felt himself withering into a weaker, more selfish side of himself. As much as they both thought they were used to each other's work schedules interfering with their time together, there was still a constant clash between expectation and desire.

But in face of such disappointment, Hiroki couldn't be completely upset. All he wanted at the moment was to be with Nowaki, and for now he had that. "You're here with me now, that's what matters," he said, retracing his steps to Nowaki.

Nowaki's expression softened, reforming into that joyful face Hiroki often took for granted. Nowaki gathered Hiroki in his arms, letting his bike topple onto the grass.

"N-Nowaki!" Hiroki fumed. Though he took pleasure in the embrace, the hyperawareness he regularly exercised when they were in public kept him from letting the act go without protest. "Save the romantic crap for later!"

"I'm going to miss seeing you whenever I come home." Nowaki's fingers lightly combed Hiroki's hair. "Thanks for helping me out so much."

Nowaki loosened their embrace, running his fingers along the arch of Hiroki's ears. Their faces eased closer as Hiroki grew lost in his partner's rich pools of blue. Closing his eyes, Hiroki felt their noses brush before their lips engaged in a quick kiss.

"Let's cook dinner together," Nowaki suggested, extending his hand for Hiroki to take.

Hiroki thought of completing the gesture, but after a mere twitch of the fingers, his bashfulness took hold. "Idiot, just take my hand," he muttered, staring at his partner's open hand.

Nowaki complied, his smile blooming into a grin as he chuckled. "Promise not to let go until we get home?"

Their joined hands gave Hiroki a boost of confidence, ridding any qualms he had about returning Nowaki's affection at the moment. With a sigh and subtle smile, Hiroki squeezed Nowaki's hand. Every drop of anxiousness, every lingering thought between them dissolved with the touch of their palms.

Keeping their hands linked, Nowaki hunkered down, gripping the handle of his bike and pulling it onto its wheels. "Oh, right!" Nowaki exclaimed. "I found your apron this morning. It was buried at the bottom of my overnight bag."

Hiroki glared at his partner, recalling last night's incident. "You took it on purpose, didn't you!" He couldn't help but come to that conclusion. In their years together, Hiroki had never complied with Nowaki's fetishes that involved him dressing in skirts, bunny ears, and the like. So it was possible that Nowaki would go to such lengths to get Hiroki to fulfill those desires, at least once.

Nowaki examined Hiroki curiously at the accusation, exuding a demeanor of innocence that Hiroki was not willing to accept.

"Don't give me that innocent look," Hiroki snapped, striking Nowaki's thigh with his shopping bag of books.

"But…Hiro-san, you're the one who packed my bag the other day." Nowaki tilted his head, speaking in a nonjudgmental tone.

It was true. Hiroki remembered doing it too. "Damn," Hiroki sulked.

Not only had he been bested by Nowaki's statement, but those words forced him to reflect on his summer as a whole. He would miss the easy going days of research. He would miss being able to think of Nowaki and care for him without distraction. Hiroki adjusted his hand and weaved his fingers with Nowaki's. As every step brought them closer to home, Hiroki's daily work life was becoming a reality again. Hiroki felt Nowaki's fingertips press securely over his knuckles and he reciprocated the motion. Tomorrow Hiroki would be trading one love for another. Their regular routines would start just as the seasons transitioned.

Reviews are always appreciated :)