This one shot was inspired by last night's episode. I hope you all enjoy it!
Arizona glanced over her shoulder, checking to make sure none of her fellow colleagues had followed her. When sure the coast was clear, she turned the knob and slipped into the supply closet she'd seen Jackson enter just moments before, gently shutting the door behind her. Her ears were instantly met with the muffled cries of tragedy, and the blonde felt her heart constrict in empathy. She'd watched Jackson sit by April's bedside all day, holding her hand, and pleading with whatever higher power that exists to keep her here on this earth, to not let her leave him. And it resonated something within her. Because she'd been there once before. She knew how deeply agonizing it was to sit by the bedside of the woman you love, staring at her lifeless body, feeling completely and utterly powerless. And after your friends tell you they've done everything they could, you're left with no other choice than to put all of your faith into a God you don't even believe in. Because you know that's what she would want you to do. Yeah, she's been there once before…
Even though Jackson was with Maggie now, - something Arizona had quite a few thoughts on but she knew now wasn't the time to bring them up - the blonde could see how much Jackson still loved April. She'd known it for a while, ever since the conversation she'd had with him about April's excessive partying and his jealousy over her sleeping with intern Vik. She'd known. At first, she thought he was just being possessive, so she'd told him he should just be happy for her. April was already struggling with the idea of Jackson seeing someone new, so she'd just been trying to protect her best friend. And now, she regretted that. She truly did. Because Jackson still loved her. And it sucked. Because not long after Matthew visited the hospital for the second time, April had decided to settle for him. They had history. There were still feelings. Arizona didn't completely understand why April wanted to get back together with the guy she left at the alter for Jackson, and she understood even less why Matthew would want to get back together with the woman who'd left him at it, but April had told her she was happy. And Arizona was her friend and friends don't judge. Judgement was reserved for family. Arizona had been so happy to get her best friend back after she'd been in such a dark place for so long. So she didn't say anything, but she could tell that Matthew wasn't providing the same kind of happiness for April that Jackson did just from being in the same room as her.
The whole situation brought up feelings within Arizona that she couldn't quite identify, but she felt the need to offer Jackson some support, so when he'd left April's side so she could have some time alone with Matthew, Arizona followed him.
"Hey," Arizona broke through the thick tension and quiet cries.
Jackson startled at her sudden presence, and immediately stifled his cries. He hated being vulnerable around people.
Arizona cleared her throat, "It's great, isn't it?" Arizona mentally slapped herself. "That April is awake, I mean."
Feeling that he's gathered as much composure as he possibly could in that moment, Jackson released his death grip on the rack containing medical supplies, and turned to identify his intruder. Seeing that it was Arizona, though, the plastics attending relaxed slightly, an affect the blonde had on a lot of people. "Yeah," he cleared his throat, "it is."
The reply was short, but Jackson Avery had never been much of a talker, especially not when it came to emotional things. There was only one person who had ever been able to break through those walls of his, and she was currently laying in a hospital bed after spending the day fighting for her life.
"I, um-" Arizona licked her lips, suddenly feeling a little nervous. She wasn't really sure how to approach this conversation. The blonde didn't know Jackson nearly as well as she did his ex-wife, and talking to men about emotional things had never quite been her strong suit. "I noticed your reaction when I mentioned April has been seeing Matthew again."
Jackson shifted his gaze to the floor. He really did not want to do this right now.
"And I know we're not close but April- " involuntary tears sprung into blue eyes and her throat closed in on itself at the memory of spending a good portion of today gathered around her best friend's lifeless body as they waited for her to wake up. Arizona released a heavy sigh from pink lips, "I just- I know what you're feeling. All of it," Arizona attempted a light chuckle. Jackson's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, prompting Arizona into further explanation.
"The car crash. When Sofia was born," Arizona swallowed. Seven years later, and it was still hard to talk about.
Jackson's eyebrows gradually uncreased as realization took over his features. He'd nearly forgotten about the crash. So much had happen since then. His life had changed so much, in some ways he never expected. Seven years felt like a lifetime ago.
Overcome by thought of all the choices he's made in those seven years, Jackson turned behind the rack of medical supplies, allowing his body to sink down it until he was sitting on the ground.
Seeing as she hadn't been shooed away, Arizona took Jackson's silence as an invitation to pull up a nearby stool in front of him.
"I was never religious," she continued. "I'm still not. Not really. But Callie was-is. She would go into the chapel at times to pray when things were hard." Jackson's eyes began to well up with tears, memories of the time he'd found April in the hospital chapel and they'd made a compromise that he would go to church with her on Sundays as long as she promised they would go get waffles afterwards, overwhelming him. He dropped his head in his hands as he held back a sob. "I never really understood it, but when the accident happened, I prayed. Because I knew that's what she would have wanted me to do. I remember thinking that, if He does exist, he probably wouldn't listen to me because I never believed in him before," Arizona chuckled lightly at the memory. "But then, she woke up."
Jackson was biting down hard on his bottom lip, palms pressed against his eyes, the similarities to his own situation hitting him like a ton of bricks.
"I'm still not sure if I believe it was because of God, but I know that I got yet another chance. And she, uh," tears welled up in Arizona's eyes, as she smiled at memory of the moment Callie woke up after her accident that she still cherished, "She agreed to marry me."
Arizona looked down at Jackson's sullen form. The pain and conflict he was feeling radiated off of him, filling the room.
Jackson spoke up after a moment. "I, um-" he cleared his throat, "I think I've made a mistake. many, actually."
Jackson's red and puffy eyes adverted Arizona's attentive gaze. Arizona knew Jackson didn't talk a lot about his feelings. It's one of the things that April always complained to her about. So she kept quiet, intending to allow Jackson to vent about whatever he needed to get off of his chest.
"Starting with the divorce. I don't think I've, uh, really treated April the way she deserves or given her support the support she deserves. I think I've been so caught up with myself that I've barely paid attention to her.. and then when she went through her crisis with God, I, um- I think I realized that," Jackson let out a breath of air. "I'm still in love with her."
Arizona tilted her head, looking at the man before her with sympathy.
"I know," she said. Getting up from the stool, she took a seat next to Jackson on the floor. "She is too."
Jackson's head turned towards the woman next to him, the furrowing of his eyebrows always giving away his emotions. He thought..
"You said she's in love with Matthew."
Arizona nodded. "Only because she thought you didn't love her. You really screwed up after Montana, Jackson. So she settled. But watching how she reacted when she saw you at her bedside when she woke up, the way she looked at you, she does love you. And you can still make it right."
Jackson nodded.
The pair sat in silence for a few moments.
"You can too."
It was Arizona's turn to look at the man sitting next to her with confusion. "What do you mean?"
"With Callie," Jackson shrugged nonchalantly.
Arizona let out a mirthless chuckle. "I am not in love with Calliope Torres." Crap! I did it again. "Besides, she's with Penny so.."
"No, she's not."
"Huh?" Confusion was one of the many things Arizona felt. Another was intrigue. A part of her wanted him to say exactly what she was thinking.
"She called me a few months ago, to talk about some surgery she may have needed my help with. She didn't, but she sounded upset. I asked her if she was okay and it kind of just slipped out, I guess."
Arizona's mouth fell open, needing a minute to process the information she just received. Callie was no longer with Penny. Why didn't she know? How could she let her make the decision to move to New York even when Penny wasn't a factor anymore?
"Why- why didn't she tell me?"
"That, I do not know," Jackson took in Arizona's shocked expression. A hint of hurt and possibly anger intertwined. "But, I do know that she was given a grant in New York to further her research and production of the bionic leg she was working on while she was here." He watched as the blonde's expression softened a bit. "And Maggie told me about your little name mix up after eating those cookies." Jackson grinned at her teasingly.
"Oh um, that was-that-it-it was nothing. It was nothing okay? I was high! It happens." Arizona's cheeks turned beat red as she blushed feverishly.
"Yeah, I'm sure it was just a side affect of those 'lesbian gratitude cookies'."
Arizona smacked him on the arm, and he laughed. The two felt the warm feeling of a new friendship forming.