Fanfiction
The day starts with my double date with lovely L and me, N and Ashlyn, and Light with his sex toy. It was all great, drinking coffee, that shit is amazing. I just got done getting high off coffee and was kicked out the coffee place. Nobody accept drunks these days. So L drives all of us home. When we get home, we kick Light out because he sucks, we kicked his sex toy out too. Ashlyn and N start making out. "JESUS GUYS RENT A HOTEL ROOOOOOMMMM!" I scream. L laughs. Ashlyn and N get embarrassed and their faces turn red like a tomato. I do the derp face and say, "What have you guys been doing when you're alone." They get even redder. "Noooootttthiiiing." N and Ashlyn say at the same time. So after a long while of laughing our asses off N and Ashlyn leave. Now L and I are alone. "Sooooooooooo…" L says awkwardly. "Sooooooo…" I say awkwardly. "Want to, you know?" Asks L blushing. I slap him in the face and call him a pervert. Then he gives me this look, and I say…. "Sure."! "Oh SHIZZLE THE WIZZLE OMG WHATS GOING ON, SOME KINKY SHIT WILL HAPPEN." Screams the Narrator. I slap mayo in his face. "Take DA WHITE STUFFF!" I scream. "Oh poop I forgot my Transformer." Says N. "Let's go back I mean we have a key." Says Ashlyn. They open the door to find the sound of banging and moaning from the bathroom. They both stand there with disturbed faces. N takes a trashcan and pukes. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE, IS THERE A DANCE PARTY GOING ON THAT YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT?!" Screams Ashlyn. L and I stop, "Oh no…" says L. I say, "Whatever you say there was an EARTHQUAKE, SORRRYYY!" Ashlyn says with humor, "Yeah an Earthquake just in your room, seems legit." Ashlyn burst out in laughter. She can't take the pressure. I walk out and say, "WHY THE HELL DID YOU COME HERE?!" N picks up his toy, "I forgot this!" I face palm. I am so pissed off. L won't even come out of the bathroom, because he is so embarrassed. L finally comes out and says, "I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Then goes into the kitchen to grab a piece of cake. N takes his 2 barbie dolls, and plays sex with them when nobody is looking, L finds him doing that and says, "How 'bout you try that with your girl instead of playing games…" L and Him look at each other and smirk. I'm stuffing my face with 3 bags of potato chips, and Ashlyn is playing Flappy Bird on her phone. "LLLLLLLL!" I scream. "YES LEXIE!" He screams. "Stop doing what you're doing and make me a SANDWHICH!" I scream. "OK!" L says. As I kick some ass on Black Ops 2 with a K/D of 40/2. "Suck ON THAT BITCHES, A GIRL KICKED YO ASS WITH MVP!" I scream at the assholes on game chat. Ashlyn is still playing Flappy Bird. "When are you gonna stop fapping the bird, and have a decent conversation, ASHLYN!" I scream in her face with my onion potato chip breath. I start singing my lady like song, "PEEENIIIISSSS, VAGINNNASSSSS, ANUSSSS, INN THE ASSSSHOLLLEEE OF ANOTHERRRR WHOREEEE…. HAVE A GOOOOOODDDDD TIMMMEEEEEEE!" This story is getting boring, let's skip to the juicy parts. Ashlyn and N go home, and N says, "Its time because I'm going right for it! L taught me to always go for it when alone with my girl!" Ashlyn goes in prone and says, "OKAY!" There goes that Earthquake again. I hear them upstairs. "They make fun of us, and listen to them, they're getting it on like two horny gorillas." I say. The banging goes on for hours, I and L can't sleep. "OK I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, I'M CRASHING THIS POPSICLE STAND!" I walk upstairs and unlock the door to their house and barge into their room. They both are naked on the bed and stop immediately. "I'm trying to sleep and all I hear is this banging going on for HOURS!" They both apologize and kick me out. It's finally been a quiet night, I actually get to sleep. I wake up and ask L, "How the hell does a kid know how to have sex." L's eyes widen and he says, "I may have told him some things..." I scream at him and kick him in the nuts! "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING 11 YEARS OLDS THAT SHIT FOR?!" L starts crying in pain of the poor nuts that got killed by a foot. "He asked for it!" I stare blankly and say, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to I really didn't, If he asked for it, then you tell him the truth." I kiss him passionately. Oh what a good kisser he is, seriously, he has the perfect lips to kiss all day, every day, and 24/7. I snicker and say, "Imagine how tiny N's penis is, I feel sorry for Ashlyn!" I and L start laughing our asses off. Light had a fun night, he went to a strip club and got some action from the strippers. It's the happiest moment of his life. Light feels like he's in GTA IV, living the bad ass life. I and L are heading out to Chilies and this is what L is thinking. OH, L HARDER! L GIVE ME MORE, MORRREEEEEEEEEEE! Honey it's just getting started, there's more penis were that came from. I got a whole foot for you! Well make it better! I want it all right NOWWWW. GIVE ME EVERYTHING. L goes so hard the bed shakes the floor and things are knocking off the dressers. OMG L you're amazing I want MORRREEE. I'm getting tired. I take my long penis out and rest as Lexie goes down and…. "L WHY IS YOU'RE FACE RED, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?!"I scream at L. "Oh uhhh nothing I was um thinking about tomato's because we are going out to eat." L says awkwardly. As we have lunch N try's something new….
"I'M GONNA TRY SOMETHING NEW, I'M GONNA DO WHAT L DOES!" Screams N. As N stuffs his face with a whole cake, 3 cans of Monster, 2 bags of candy, and a whole bag of sugar. N starts flying around the room. "N STOP IT GET DOWN!" Screams Ashlyn. "I'M A DONKEY, I'M A FLYING DONKEY!" Screams N. Ashlyn grabs her phone and calls me up, I put the phone on speaker, "HELPP…..ME!" says Ashlyn. "I'M A DONKEY" AHHHHHHHHHH! The call is dead. "What the hell is wrong with Ashlyn, who's a donkey?" I say. L shrugs and we just eat. "THE DONKEY IS GOING TO EAT YOUUU! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM!" Screams N as he chases Ashlyn around the house. "STOPPPP!" Screams Ashlyn. "GIVE ME YOUR SUGAR!" Screams N! N all of sudden passed out on Ashlyn's lap right before he ate her. I go home and check on them, "WHAT THE WAS THE CALL FOR!" I yell. "Shhh don't wake him." Ashlyn whispers. "CANDDDDDDYYYYYYYY! GIVE ME YO SUGGGARRRRR!" Screams N. "AHHHHH!" Me and Ashlyn scream. L hears all the commotion, but he still is sitting there eating a piece of cake, until he hears me scream. He goes all ninja in the house and kicks N in the butt, grabs his shirt and says, "What are you doing with my wife?!" N starts crying like a little baby, "I-I JUST WANTED TO TRY WHAT WHAT WHAT YOU DO, I-I ATE A LOT OF SUGAR." N says stuttering with sniffles. L gives him the meanest look and slaps him in the face. "There is a reason why I eat sugar, I rarely ever sleep so sugar keeps me up, and keeps me energized, you on the other hand are a kid who sleeps a lot, you can't do what I do." L says. "I'm sorry…. WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" N says. N gets out of L's grasp and runs into his room.
TO BE CONTINUED….