A Totally Serious Black Eyed Peas Fanfiction

by JonatanTimson

A very totally 100% serious look at the Black Eyed Peas. Will Apl,de,ap and Taboo finally get together? Will they finally defeat their rival band that performs unlicensed versions of their songs? Will they win the Kids Choice Award for Best Pop Artist? "These are serious and interesting plotlines" -the writer. "omg THIS" -somebody on tumblr. "You have 3 weeks to live" -my doctor

1. Chapter 1 - The Fanta Menace

CHAPTER 1 – The Fanta Menace

"Goodnight everybody!" Fergie yelled to the crowd, yellingly.

Apl,de,ap tried to say a thing. "We hope you had a-"

"That's our show!" Will,i,am interrupted, right as Apl,de,ap realized he didn't have a microphone. Sweaty and tired from finishing their eight-night tour in Greenland, all of the members of the Black Eyed Peas went backstage.

"That was awesome you guys," said Taboo.

Apl,de,ap stared at Taboos eyes and only his eyes and not his bulging crotch area and only his eyes. "You're not too bad yourself."

Will,i,am interrupted. "Jeezy doodles, you guys. Just get a room already!"

"I know you meant for us to take that statement as a joke," said Fergie, "but I've taken enough high school English classes to know that that statement might be classified as foreshadowing."

"Oh, you guys!" Taboo said, blissfully unaware of how shitty this dialogue was. "Apl,de,ap and I can't date! That'd be silly!"

Apl,de,ap laughed, slightly uncomfortably. Taboo laughed as well, slightly uncomfortablier. Will,i,am, meanwhile, was in the corner of the room handing money and a contract signed in blood to a hooded figure.

"Oh, don't pay attention to him," said Will,i,am.

When all of a sudden, a distraction happened. "Watch out!" said Fergie. "A distraction!"

The distraction swooped down from the skies and started charging straight toward Fergie. She narrowly dodged the distraction by throwing her body weight to her right. The distraction flew past her. Angered, the distraction looked straight at Apl,de,ap, and prepared to charge. Apl,de,ap looked befuddled. He was practically paralyzed by the trauma of the distraction looking into his eyes.

The distraction ran towards Apl,de,ap's face, and in a split second, Taboo grabbed him and pushed him out of the way.

Will,i,am took out a sword and sliced the distraction in half. "We're safe now. You can get up," he said to Apl,de,ap and Taboo, both lying on the ground.

"WETOTALLYWERENTKISSING," said Taboo, being totally unsuspicious.

"Oh! Thank goodness you clarified that you weren't kissing, otherwise I would have thought you were." Will,i,am helped them both up.

Fergie sighed. "Wow guys. That was quite a predicament we were in right just now. Am I right guys?"

She was right.

It was quite a predicament they were in. But what could it mean? What could the distractions want from the Black Eyed Peas? Did the title of this chapter have any relevance to the story? What is the answer to that last question?

There were too many unanswered questions…