The story takes place after 11x08. Amelia was outed by the patient's daughter and although she spoke to Chief Hunt and told him about her past the staff of GSMH is insecure and doesn't know how to handle the situation. It comes to an incident where a nurse doesn't follow Amelia's instructions due to the rumors that wander through the floors of the hospital. Chief Hunt has to intervene as the situation escalates. Amelia runs away after the patient is taken care of and Owen looks out for her. He finally finds Amelia on the roof deck of the hospital.
Oh, hi … here you are.
Eh … yeah … After what happened I didn't want to be down there where everyone is chatting, supposing, backbiting… you know? I don't have patients right now - I will do my job, don't worry! I have my pager right here.
Are you okay then?
Yeah … I'm okay … I just needed some alone time and some fresh air.
So you want me to go?
No, I didn't mean that. Your company is way better than the company of the hungry wolves down there who can't wait to see me failing...
Owen sighs.
Dr. Shepherd … Amelia … I know that you are having a rough time at the moment and as I've already said I stand behind you. I trust in Derek, what he told me about you, and I trust in you. I respect you as a colleague and I like you as a person. But sure not everyone does - as the latest incident shows. And this could be devastating for you. Doctors know other doctors. When there are rumors there is always someone who believes in them completely or starts researching and finds something about your past. Or even adds something to the story which isn't true. The words spread out and in the worst case this can cost you your career. And what about other patients finding out about your past through the chatting?
So - do I get this right and these are other words for: "I like you and I do believe that you are okay but I have to fire you anyway?" - Then I got it!
Amelia reaches the door back in.
No, wait! Amelia … stay here! This wasn't what I wanted to say. Why don't you understand - I want to help you! Do you get that? But therefore you have to trust me a little bit more.
She hesitates and turns around.
What do you mean?
I think the only way to fight the rumors and the chattiness is being honest. The people have questions and you have to answer them in some way. They are your co-workers and we all have to rely on each other and at the moment they don't feel that they can rely on you, that they can trust you!
No! They simply have to. I can't talk about this with everyone. It's my history that I don't want to share with all of them! No - this just doesn't work that easily! It's my history ... mine! You can't force me to tell everyone! Even my own brother doesn't know everything.
Hey … calm down … it's okay, I never wanted to force you to anything. And you don't have to tell everyone everything. I just thought it would be good if you had some more allies besides Derek, Meredith and me.
You can cut Derek off the list...
Whatever. But he was the one who convinced me that you are okay and you speaking to me some days ago confirmed it even more. I can imagine that you are struggling right now and you don't know what to do but you don't have to go through this alone, okay? There are people willing to help you but you have to accept their help. We will figure this out!
We?
Yes, we. You and me, Derek and Meredith and perhaps some other people. You need friends here! You need people that fight for you, otherwise this doesn't work. And I believe that you are worth fighting for, okay? You are a great doctor and I don't want to lose you. But one part of a friendship is being honest and open up a bit. I know that this isn't easy for you – it would be for no one. But trust me, okay? Trust me as a friend...
Amelia paused for a moment, overwhelmed by Owen's words.
So what is your suggestion? Whom do I need as an additional friend in your opinion?
I think it would be good if you talked to the board. Wait – don't say anything before I have finished. Of course you don't have to tell them everything. Just speak to them as you spoke to me some days ago. Answer their questions - if they have some - as far as you can and I'm sure they will listen to you and believe you. The board standing behind you will have an enormous effect on the other staff and should it come to a situation like the one today in the future they will stand up for you immediately. But they won't defend you when hey are insecure about you. To be told from Derek that you are okay is one thing – hearing it from yourself is the other thing. I really think that you should talk to them.
Amelia stood still and the thoughts ran through her brain. I don't know if I can talk about it in front of so many people I do barely know. I've done this before, in NA-meetings, but as it says, this was anonymous. It didn't affect my job. At least this is what I thought until this Sarah taught me otherwise. But life is a freakin' bitch sometimes... I'm not that good in letting people know about me. What if they don't believe me? Then I have to quit my job. I can't work with them anymore when they know these things about me and don't trust me...
Amelia – what do you think about it? Should I call a board meeting?
I … I don't know...
You don't have to be afraid... Derek and Meredith will be there and me as well and everyone of us has had things he or she went through – even in this hospital. I know this guys for years and somehow call them my friends. We've gone through a lot of things together and I'm sure they will support you once they know you better. It will be okay.
Amelia takes one deep breath.
Good, then call the meeting... There's nothing left that I have to loose...
Thanks for reading my story. It was my first fanfiction ever and English isn't my mother language. So feel free to correct my spelling, grammar or word choice.
Please leave some reviews and let me know if I should continue the story.
3 Bavaria