Heartache and Solitude

by EdwardElricx101

His eyes were red with pain. His teammates were long gone, and he couldn't turn back. For the first time, he realized he had something special in his past, something he truly treasured deep within his heart, something he blatantly took advantage of as a child. He was officially alone. He had nobody left, and his bleeding pupils were enough to emphasize his heartache and solitude.

Part I: Sasuke Uchiha

His eyes were red with pain. His teammates were long gone, and he couldn't turn back. For the first time, he realized he had something special in his past, something he truly treasured deep within his heart, something he blatantly took advantage of as a child. Real life didn't work the way it did in school- where all the teachers and girls flocked to him in envy and admiration for his variety of talents, even when he ignored them completely- and it took him nearly his entire life to open his eyes and recognize at that one simple fact. To earn trust, you had to be trustworthy- to earn admiration, he had to be admirable- to earn love, you had to be loving. And now, he was officially alone. He had nobody; people had moved on from him, calling him a criminal, outsider, or enemy. It was all because of his past... the past that shaped him to be the way he was and continues to be. He was frozen in time, unable to quell the vengeful side of him that had so forth came to dwell deep inside his soul, and his past was inescapable. He knew he'd never truly move on from his slaughtered family, his deceased brother, or his living friends from the village. But now, his former allies were his enemies; he could never fight alongside them again, or even acknowledge his former relations with them. But now, even as he began to fulfill his crazy ambitions and salvage his hatred enough to become nearly invincible, he felt strangely disgusted with himself. Suddenly, a red teardrop fell upon his blue pants, staining the pure color and spreading across the fabric in an instantaneous mirage of color. They kept falling through the cracks of his sweaty palms, and with a confused grin pasted upon his face, he couldn't understand why. He was manipulated his entire life. He had everything planned out for his ambush. Everything he believed in was a lie. Everyone he once knew didn't matter anymore. Nothing would ever be the same. Nothing could be better than this. Nothing should be changed without reason, especially one's destiny. And his bleeding pupils were enough to emphasize his heartache and solitude.

Sasuke Uchiha; the one-man-army who invaded the international 5 Kage meeting. He was the individual who single-handedly defeated the legendary Sagnin combat legend Oorochimaru- a master jutsu caster and his former teacher. He was the killer of his innocent older brother Itachi- who was forced by his village to slaughter his clan and family due to a political matter tracing back hundreds of years ago. He was the ninja who defeated Deidara, killed Danzo, captured Killer Bee, and fought countless others without much trouble. He was Sasuke Uchiha, a final member of the nearly extinct Uchiha clan, and the catalyst of conflict and confusion, infected with the disease of heartache and solitude.

But, nobody likes a stuck-up individual who's only after protecting their ideas and interests above all else. Heartless beings like him are made to be hated in our eyes, since humans and monsters aren't the same, and ethics are all that hold us together. This very emphasis on his ego and overconfidence- although he was victorious throughout his life- was what brought Sasuke to the level of a monster. He may be a felon, yes, and a killer, but sometimes even killers are still human. But Sasuke was something else. And even when looking into a mirror, he didn't recognize it. He was wrapped in the cocoon of isolation, and he knew that he could never go back. He chose to transform himself into this monstrous beast of a thing, it was his choice, and his alone. He was in control of his destiny, and he was going to carry out his new plan. He wouldn't let anyone ruin them; since nothing was more precious to him than revenge. Destroying the village was all he had left to live for, the village that ruined his childhood, that gave the order to Itachi to slaughter his clan, that caused him to kill his suffering older brother and leave the enjoyable portion of his life behind forever. He knew he had to go back, yes, but not for the reason most would think. He was needed by the Akatsuki, but he couldn't remain there forever; the Fourth Great Ninja War didn't really concern him or help him get any stronger. He had to leave this dark cavern, and escape toward the light. He was going to eliminate the problem, once and for all, without question, and destroy the leaf village- the only place that still reminded him of the tiny pinch of happiness he once had with Team 7. Rubbing his aching temples, he knew it was the only way. Even with this heartache and solitude that grew larger with every passing year, his obligation was to destroy his former home, and guarantee nothing as tragic as this would ever have to happen again, ever again.

"Never again would a human being have to go through the suffering I did over the course of my dreadful existence. Never again would humanity fight over unnecessary matters that would lead the nations to conflict and drag innocents down with it. Never again would I have to turn my head in a crowd and silently shun those who didn't have to experience the tragedies I have, since those harsh realities would never exist in the peaceful future I imagine. It would be a perfect paradise, deprived of the heartache and solitude the world was forced to endure through the times up until then. Everyone would be free to control their own lives, live with the comfort of others, and without the fear of being stalked or stolen or killed.

Even as he spoke to himself, alone inside the stone cavern that trickled water through the ceiling and blew a frigid breath of air with each step closer to the exit, he felt himself begin to realize the hypocrisy of his ideas; nothing could ever be perfect, and even if it was, more senseless violence could never breed peace across the land. Suddenly, he felt his life begin to lose meaning, and he slightly trembled enough to notice and stop himself abruptly. Clutching his shoulders in a tight grasp, even when the freezing brisk air taunted him by nipping at his nose and across his pale face, he managed to stop himself from throwing a fit. As he clutched his chilly forehead, with his eyes swelling from the red that fell upon the cold hard ground with each sentence, he finally understood the meaning of his life and the purpose of Itachi's final words. Everything flashed across his mind, in the blink of an eye, of his parents getting killed before him, of him slaughtering a group of samurai at the 5 Kage's Peaceful Meeting, and unjustly attacking his only friends. The scary part was that he didn't even think twice, and the words he spoke to Naruto and the rest of Team 7 actually came from deep within his heart. And yet, he still doubted those thoughts, only proving to himself that Itachi's death wouldn't be in vein if he carried out his will himself. Destroying the village... it wasn't the only way. And in that split second, Sasuke Uchiha changed himself, and broke away from the chains of his dire fate.

His facial expression changed, the trembling stopped, and the intense fear of being watched finally flew out of his mind. His strength, courage, and confidence remained, but dove into a completely new form of control, a type that almost reminded him of his brother. In that moment, only one thing grew- one thing that stuck with him his entire life, that shaped his entire motives since the Uchiha clan's demise; heartache and solitude. It was all he had left, and it was all his brother had left. He didn't wish for others to suffer through that same pain. He would change the world, he would make it peaceful. And he wouldn't destroy the place that his brother wished to protect. The image of such a place- such a perfect, calm, joyful place- it brought such imagery to the young boy's heart, and swept his petty thoughts away to oblivion! Such a goal was probably impossible, but one would never know until it was tried. Sasuke's face was full of blood, and his eccentric Sharingan pupils stared across the cave exit and toward the shining light. It nearly blinded him, but he felt so energized he couldn't stop staring. Although his life was full of heartache and solitude, he couldn't be more motivated. And this motivation, this very drive to succeed, he thought, was something he knew he needed to change the world. For this pain he endured, for this dreadful life that only spiraled further downward with negativity and violence, he was thankful. And from this heartache and solitude, he knew he would succeed in creating a peaceful world; a world full of freedom and opportunity.

"In such a world... maybe you, Itachi, could have lived in peace... and maybe I could have been beside you, the entire time."