Greetings! I'm really excited to say that my best friend, whisper2ascream333, and I are writing this story as a collaboration. She'll be writing from Eli's perspective, and I'll be writing from Clare's. She's a brilliant writer, my favorite in fact. Needless to say, this collaboration is a big deal to me.
Each chapter, the perspective will shift. We're starting with Eli's.
Enjoy! Reviews are much appreciated from both of us.
Somebody give me a sign,
That everything's going as planned,
And then everything falls away,
Into the darkness of this shallow place.
The detail is striking,
The room's cold and frightening,
You'll kick and you'll scream,
You'll try everything to survive,
But you should know your fate by now.
Summer nights were unforgiving to most, the heat from outside seemed unrelenting as it reached new highs. The beads of perspiration falling from Eli's face went unnoticed as he slept fitfully, tossing and turning against the hard mattress. In his mind now were thoughts he wouldn't likely forget, especially not now. One week was far too soon to do away with the memory of what happened. And like the masochist that he was, Eli wanted to cling to it.
Within the blink of an eye life as he knew had been turned upside down, snatched from his hands before he even had a chance to truly react. He could recall it all so vividly, feel the sudden impact, hear the shattering and feel as his skin was torn in different places all at once. It was a wonder he was even here today when the others weren't so lucky.
It started out like any other day, Eli then completely blindsided by the tragic turn of events. Had he known, had the smallest semblance of a clue, Eli would have done all he could have to changed that night. Perhaps then things in his life wouldn't have led him here to a too small bed hooked up to machines to test the most basic in human functions.
As he slept now his mind was overrun with images of that fateful night. He remembered every single detail about it, the glowing green digits of the dashboard's clock stating the time prominently. 1:17 in the morning, he recalled. The song blaring out of the speakers was Pink Floyd's 1975 classicWish You Were Here.
The irony of it all didn't escape Eli's notice. If anything it felt like a sick joke from a higher power he didn't believe in.
He could remember the distinct sound of his father's singing, Eli protesting in the backseat the entire time as he crooned off key obnoxiously, earning a round of applause from his mother who sat beside in the passenger's seat. She rewarded him with a kiss on the cheek, extra praise for getting under Eli's skin.
Eli grumbled and crossed his arms over his chest, muttering unintelligibly about them getting a room. But for as much as he liked giving his parents a hard time, he was glad to see they hadn't lost their spark over the years. If anything it seemed to him that they fell in love more each day.
He was certain that wasn't a life he would ever have for himself but he could live vicariously through them in that regard. He was a self-proclaimed loner, far preferring his alone time rather than getting too close to other people.
There was far too much to lose when you were invested in someone else and that seemed more like a liability than an asset in Eli's eyes. He was content with just his parents, the trio creating a bond so tight that nothing could stand in the way.
Unless it was something permanent - like that of death.
As they drove along the darkened highway with nothing but time on their hands, Eli couldn't have imagined a better night. School was still far enough away that it wasn't a concern of his, not that it ever truly was. He excelled in English when he put his mind to it. Writing was an innate skill, one he didn't put much stock in though his pieces were quite exceptional.
He thought of perhaps turning that into a career one day. Maybe he could be a novelist of some kind and get his works published. It was all a pipe dream at this point. Guidance counselors over the years encouraged him to be more "proactive", too make sure he didn't "waste his potential." It all went in one ear and right out the other, Eli allowing their warnings to roll off his back.
He was as stubborn as they came, always assuming that there would be more time. He'd get to his assignments in fifteen more minutes or he'd clean up his room next weekend. It was with the most menial things that he took the concept of time for granted.
But he had quickly learned how foolish he had been to believe that something as fickle as time could ever be a guarantee. It was a tough lesson he had to learn, one of which he wished he could trade in for something less personal but fate stepped in and dealt him the cruelest of hands.
Once more he turned in his sleep, his pulse quickening beneath his translucent skin as the floodgates of that night continue to pour through.
His heartbeat was erratic but he was far too lost in his sleep to stop it, never mind the onslaught of images. He could hear his mother screaming, that sound was one that would haunt him until his dying day, he was sure of it.
The full force of the truck hitting into their Mustang knocked the breath clear out of his lungs. He thought for certain he had died. It was a sheer miracle he had made it out alive but if he were being honest, he would say he would have preferred to endure the fate they had.
He couldn't see the point in living now. Without his family or any friends to show for, he found himself pondering the same question time and time again. What was the point?
He didn't have anyone that would miss him nor did he have any real aspirations he would have genuinely missed out on. He wasn't a popular kid in school but quite the opposite. He was the one everyone knew to stay away from.
Whether it was his affinity for black clothing or the permanent scowl on his lips that warned people to stay back, it was apparent the message had been received loud and clear.
That was just the way he wanted it though. He had never been one for company, attributing most of the blame for that on the fact that he was an only child. He remembered growing up and asking his parents once why they never tried again. His mother citied the reason as being they had the perfect child and didn't see a need to have another. His father gave an opposing view saying he was a handful enough and they didn't want to punish themselves a second time around.
He knew it was all in jest. His parents were the equivalent of what a best friend would be to other teenagers. He never thought it strange that they were adults, moreover his parents. It seemed to be an unspoken rule that all teens were meant to have tumultuous relationships with their folks.
But for Eli, that couldn't have been further from the truth.
If anything his parents enabled his reckless behavior, long since adapting the notion of living by one cardinal mantra: sex, drugs and rock 'n roll. His parents were the very definition of free spirits who encouraged Eli to do the same. He didn't have a curfew or many rules to abide by, if any at all. He had never been forced to address his parents as mom and dad, instead looking to them as equals and using their first names.
Nothing about the Goldsworthy household could be considered traditional or conventional. Eli wouldn't have had it any other way. He liked being his own person, having the chance to test the limits of his life and seek the thrills he thought would be the most satisfying. It had gotten him into a few scrapes here and there but nothing too incriminating to keep him down for long.
His parents always had his back in any circumstance and never stifled him from getting the chance to learn from his mistakes. According to them it was all a part of growing up, living life by trial and error.
It always seemed harmless enough to him and still did. But without their guidance now, Eli wasn't sure how he was to be expected to pick up the broken pieces of his life. Even if he did, the picture would never be complete again, not with two such crucial pieces missing.
He was angry, hurt, sad and a slew of other emotions. It was enough to make him want to scream or finish the job the accident was so keen on sparing him from. He didn't have a faith to speak of but he would have given anything to be with his parents now, wherever they were.
Now in the stark white hospital bed with an uncomfortable mattress and the nauseating scent of antiseptics lingering in the air, Eli was constantly on edge. He hardly saw how this would be a benefit to him. He knew he would be able to leave soon but then what? He would be thrust back into the cold world with the heavy reality that his family was gone in the most permanent of ways. This reprieve of sorts would only do more harm than good, he was sure of it.
He groaned in his sleep, subconsciously gripping his sides as his body furled in on itself. Tears slipped from his eyes as he conjured up the accident, his mind torturing him extensively. He could feel the jagged glass cutting into his skin from the blown windows. His heart lurched at the phantom memory of the car turning over.
The blood in his veins raced at such great speeds, his adrenaline running too high for someone in such a stupor. It was all too much for him to take. The blood curling sound of tires screeching was the last thing he heard, piercing his eardrums to the point of irritation.
"No!" he called out, his breathing heavy and labored.
Swallowing the dry feeling his throat, Eli panted, working to wipe the sweat off his brow as he looked down at himself.
The blanket over him felt as if it weighed a ton, the thick fabric almost paralyzing now as he was confined to the hospital bed. He couldn't silence his heart; the blood coursing through so quickly that for a moment Eli worried it would break free of his chest.
His lips were chapped and still bruised from the cuts he'd received that night but he couldn't find it within himself to care. His gaze soon moved to the walls, wishing more than anything that he could be back in the comfort of his own home. He longed for the posters that covered every possible square inch of the green walls. He missed sleeping in his own bed but more than anything, he missed his parents.
He knew this feeling wasn't one that would ever fade away nor did he really want it to diminish. The overwhelming sense of guilt that overtook him was indescribable. If it were at all possible he would have traded places with them in a heartbeat so that they could still be here today. He didn't have much to offer the world and sincerely doubted his untimely departure would be too great a loss in anyone's eyes.
But this was the situation he now found himself in, much to his dismay. Nothing about this could be negotiated or done away with wishful thinking. His parents were not coming back and that was a conclusion Eli would never be able to fully accept.
He focused on each intake of breath until he got it down to a suitable pace. He raked a shaky hand through his disheveled locks, sucking in a quick breath. He wasn't sure what time it was but he knew it was late, past twelve for sure.
The moonlight poured into the room through the open blinds, washing the space with an eerie glow that oddly enough lulled Eli a bit. He was far too restless to go to sleep again, every nerve ending in his body completely frayed from the bout of nightmares that had seeped in for yet another night. It was so routine now but Eli still wasn't sure how to get used to it. He would try pushing through the memories but that only put him more on edge, almost paranoid each time a noise sounded from outside.
He chewed on the broken skin on his lip, his hand still in his hair as he gripped the locks and sat up in bed. Dropping his hand after a moment, he let out a deep sigh. He wasn't sure what was to come next for him, where he would end up. He was still a teenager and couldn't simply pick up and fend for himself. Not much in life scared Eli but the uncertainty of the road ahead troubled him.
Somewhere between the time of him getting lost in his thoughts and attempting to get some rest, Eli had actually managed to fall asleep. His eyes felt swollen, undoubtedly he'd been crying in his sleep again. His neck hurt from the strange position he eventually rested in. But he knew things could be much worse and putting it into perspective that way was enough to make him get out of bed.
His body was still sore in some areas but he'd come a decent way, enough that he could do the basics on his own without needing assistance of any kind. He was glad for that much. He didn't want any sympathy or handouts, far preferring to do things on his own.
His head throbbed as he yawned and walked across his hospital room to the bathroom door. Pushing it open he hit the switch, the dull fluorescent lights overhead making the most annoying buzzing sound. It drove him crazy but he did his best to ignore it as he moved to brush his teeth.
His appearance was still rough. His raven locks stuck out haphazardly. The gash above his eyebrow was still noticeable but had improved substantially over the week. His green eyes that usually held a sly spark to them were dull, the wicked flame now diminished and rendered nonexistent. He had grown colder than ever before in during his hospital stay. What he wanted most of all now was a cigarette, missing the taste of nicotine he'd been deprived of over the last week. If anything could stand of chance of sating him now, he knew that would do the trick, enabling him to relieve some tension he'd been building up for the past seven days. A part of him wanted out so badly but he wasn't sure where he would even end up.
Would he be a part of the system? A sudden orphan now left to wonder if someone would take mercy on him and let them into their home. He hated the idea of needing to rely on anyone but his options were few and far between. Perhaps a distant cousin or a long lost relative of some kind would catch wind of what had happened and take him in. It was farfetched but he needed to come up with some alternatives lest he be surprised by what they'd come in and tell them.
Once he was finished with his morning routine, Eli went back into his room, carefully lowering himself into bed and throwing the covers over himself. He wished that the room would swallow him whole and that he'd be able to disappear but luck wasn't on his side in that regard. Instead he lay down and listened to the low hum of machines, the occasional beeping of the monitors.
He had never felt more alone in his entire life. Now it wasn't by choice but rather circumstance, an outcome he wished more than anything that he could change.
He curled into a ball, assuming the fetal position as he shut his eyes tightly. He stayed frozen for a few minutes, enjoying the peace and quiet until he heard a knock on his door. Peeking out from under the covers, he spoke.
"Come in," he said tentatively, almost afraid of whom it might be.
He was sick and tired of being poked and prodded at. There was always a test of some kind that they had to do, MRIs and cat scans to check his head, countless needles to do blood work. It was exhausting and more often than not Eli looked forward to the pill they'd give him each night he complained of being unable to sleep. It was an endless cycle it seemed but Eli knew it couldn't last forever.
"Good morning, Eli," Dr. Rosen said as she entered the room, another woman in a pantsuit following in after her. "How are you feeling?"
Eli threw back the covers and sat up, eyeing the unknown woman cautiously before he replied. "Morning. I'm alive so I guess that has to count for something, right?" he quipped.
He could hear the edge in his voice but he didn't care to do away with it. In his opinion it was a stupid question to ask. He lost everything in one sudden movement. His family was taken from him and he knew he could kiss the life he'd known for seventeen years goodbye. As if the physical scars weren't enough, the emotional toll was excruciating. Nothing could ever fill the void that was left in his heart and mind, no matter how badly he would work towards it.
Dr. Rosen nodded once curtly. By now she was used to Eli's cynicism and biting wit. Sarcasm had always been something he was well versed in and now that he was going through the most trying time of his life, Eli couldn't help but keep it out of his tone, allowing it to color each and every word he uttered.
"Eli, I'd like to introduce you to someone. This is Alice Robinson and she's the social worker that's been assigned to your particular case."
Eli hated how formal this all was. This woman, Alice as she was called, didn't know the first thing about him. To her he was nothing more than a name on a file. He wondered how many "particular cases" she'd been assigned to, betting he had to be one out of a fair few. Already he was opposed to this but seeing as though he didn't have any other choice, Eli sat back and listened.
"Good morning, Elijah," she greeted him.
Strike one.
"I prefer Eli," he deadpanned, shifting in his spot. Dr. Rosen gave him a quick look but Eli chose to ignore it though he resigned to play nice. "Good morning to you too, Ms. Robinson."
Nodding once, she accepted his shortened version. "I'd like to start off by saying I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's a lot to process and as a teenager, it's a heavy burden to have to carry. But I am here to help. I know you have a lot of questions, namely what will happen to you once you're released."
It was all Eli could do to take his mind off that pressing issue but never to any avail. He didn't have much of a family outside of his parents and with them gone, it was anyone's guess where he'd end up once he was fit enough to leave the hospital.
"Are you guys going to stick me in foster care? I'll be legal soon and I won't have to stay with whatever family for long so I could just get out of their hair once I hit eighteen and be done with it," he interjected, bringing Ms. Robinson up short.
She held up a hand to stop his small rant and shook her head. "We like to avoid that route if we can, hoping to do our best to keep children within their families if at all possible."
"But I don't have a family anymore," he said stoically, his eyes falling down to the blue blanket that covered him. "It was always just me and my parents."
"We have arranged for you to stay with your godparents."
Eli flinched as if she had struck him though in essence, she really had with her words. The relationship between his parents and the Edwards' was strained to put it mildly. He hadn't heard about them in years, Cece quickly dispelling all talk of them when Eli inquired about their family. To his knowledge they'd had a falling out of some kind that drove a wedge between them after Eli had been born. His mother was never specific about it and Bullfrog remained tight lipped as well, respecting Cece's wishes by never indulging his curiosity on the matter.
It was the one thing that annoyed him at times about his parents. He wanted that mystery solved but it seemed like the secret had died with them. Although he didn't know what the issue was, Eli had to ultimately side with his parents and inherited their dislike towards the Edwards family. It might have been irrational but without probable cause, it was the only alternative readily available to him.
"I'm sorry…the Edwards'? I've never even met them before. My parents haven't spoken to them in seventeen years and now they're taking me in? I don't get it. What's the catch?" he asked, skeptical about this whole ordeal.
He wasn't sure what to make of this. Too much of his life was changing without his consent and it was working his very last nerve. But for a talk this important, pertaining to his fate, Eli knew he had to pay attention and do his best to handle this like an adult.
"Regardless of whatever discourse might have taken place back then, once they were informed about your parents' passing, they agreed to take custody of you. I know this is a lot to handle in such a short amount of time. If you need to talk to someone, we'd be more than happy to-"
"I don't need a shrink. I just…need a minute," he reasoned, dropping his head into his hands.
He drew in a breath and tried to piece everything together, forgetting all about the two women in the room with him just then. While he hated the thought of someone babying him, he was glad they were being patient with him. How was he to move in with people he was absolutely certain did not like him? Would the rivalry stand a chance of getting better or would it only be proven further by animosity on both ends?
Looking back up, Eli sighed and looked to the social worker expectantly.
"So what happens next? They pick me up and I'll be on my merry way to this new life?"
"Essentially. After you're released, they will be the ones to sign you out. As of now they are your legal guardians. You'll be getting out within a few days. They have a nice home and are perfectly capable of accommodating you," she assured, opening up the file she had with her.
As he had predicted, the manila folder had his name on the tab, Goldsworthy, Elijah. Eli tried to peer inside but it was filled with so many documents and forms that Eli wasn't quite sure how to decipher anything he was seeing.
"They have one daughter named Clare who is a year younger than you. Helen is a housewife but she also sells cosmetic products and Randall is a marketing executive," she said, glancing to make sure her facts were correct.
"Sounds like a blast," he mumbled, running a hand through his shaggy hair.
"It's for the best, Eli. I can promise you that much. No one could ever replace your parents but given the circumstances, this is the best option for you. As I mentioned before, you'll be leaving here in just a little while and the Edwards' will be able to provide a good life for you. I'll be back soon for another meeting but until then, take care."
Lacking a rebuttal, Eli simply nodded solemnly, irritated by it all but seeing there wasn't another option. He would have to adopt the grin it and bear it mentality. The bright side to this was that he had a few days' time to wrap his mind around it. The prospect of moving in with this family certainly wasn't the most appealing but Ms. Robinson was right. They weren't complete strangers, just unknown to him.
He knew better than to get his hopes up for some miraculous change. There was a reason why their families had stopped speaking and that wasn't something Eli was going to cast aside. Maybe it was just guilt that made them have a change of heart and take him in. He wasn't a charity case but he supposed in the eyes of this apparently well off family, that's exactly what he was.