Heaven and Hell URE

Ron the True Fan: Good day, my readers. As you know, this is the rewrite of Heaven and Hell URE. I fucked up with the other one, losing my objectivity just because I didn't like the organization Celestial Being. The characters, I have no issue with: love 'em, actually. The organization's goals, however...it's not happening. Fighting is in human nature. You can even think without something conflicting, be it a thought or a chemical. But I digress. I need someone to kick me in the ass when I do something stupid. Jorn, if you will?

117Jorn: Right, time to kick the tires and light the fires!

Ron the True Fan: And kicking me in the ass when stupid shit gets pulled. Now, onto the rewrite. As a warning, though, it will be similar to the original version: Polaris' capabilities will not be downgraded. But they won't be getting into as many fights and Celestial Being will be getting their due.

Battlestar Polaris - Less then 15 seconds after the last chapter of THAB URE

Over a familiar planet with many rings orbiting it, at first there was nothing… however in a sudden flash of light, the Battlestar Polaris appeared moving forward. Inside the massive Battlestar, the crew was just beginning to regain consciousness across the ship.

Inside the Polaris's CIC, Adama coughed a bit as he grabbed onto the central map, using it to help him back onto his feet "Status?" He croaked out.

Jaden, who also managed to regain consciousness faster than the others, chalked up to being a coordinator, looked over the Polaris's status "The ship's intact," he said, "Just some minor damage, nothing we can't fix with some time. We're getting casualty reports… no fatalities from the looks of it."

Adama glanced at Jaden. "When the hell did YOU get here?" He asked. Then he remembered all the complaints he had been getting from the Junk Guild over the Galactica-Class ships given to ZAFT and the Alliance. Jaden must've come over to yell at Ron. "Never mind. Commander!"

"Here." He heard a familiar groan, as he looked at the FTL console, where Ron was practically plastered. "Gravitic FTL drives are a BAD idea..."

Adama shook his head. He'd live. "DRADIS!" He ordered. Gaeta finally got off the deck. "Offline!" He called out.

Adama looked at the Junk Guild commander. "Commander Takeo, as much as I hate doing this, I need your help." He said, and Jaden sighed.

"I got it, I got it." He said as he headed over to the DRADIS station "I'll get the DRADIS fixed ASAFP."

"ASAFP?"

"As Soon As Fraking Possible."

With that new variation on the word 'frak', Adama grabbed Ron and got him to his feet. "Commander, this ship is spinning." Adama said, "Fix that." The CCE field marshal, whose head was still spinning, nodded. "I'll get to the RCS control center." He said, "As soon as my head stops spinning..." Ron hobbled off, and Tigh finally got back onto his feet. "Where the hell are we?!" He muttered.

"DRADIS is down, we're in a spin and we're clueless as to where we are, Saul." Adama said, as Tigh reached into his boot and pulled out his flask before Adama Glared at him. After that, he put the flask away. "Commander, I need that DRADIS online!" Adama ordered at Jaden, who was now inside the DRADIS console working on the wires.

"Hang on: this thing's a lot different then the one on my Raptor!" Jaden said as he retooled some wires. A few moments later, he stood up, and then kicked the console. Suddenly just like that the DRADIS activated. "Ha! Got it!"

"Well, that solves that." Adama said, "Plot our position and spool up FTL drives 3 and 4! We're going back to Earth." Then the ship shook slightly as the ship stopped spinning. Ron's voice was heard over the PA. "We're not spinning anymore!" He said, "Heading for the observation deck: be back in a few minutes!"

Adama shook his head, then looked at Jaden. "Commander, we'll be heading for GENESIS Alpha to drop you off before we try this again." He said, however Jaden shook his head.

"Actually, Ron invited me for the shakedown run." He said shrugging "Offered me a tour of the Colonies."

Adama sighed. "That man is going to give me a headache the size of of this ship." He muttered, "Commander, this ship needs to have those drives removed before we can leave the Sol System. So unless you're willing to help-" As soon as the words were out of Adama's mouth, Ron came back into CIC. "We're hanging over Saturn." He said, "As it seems my new FTL drives were a complete failure, we're going to need to head back to Shipyard One so I can remove them. Good thing the rest of them are normal FTLs."

Dualla, still clutching her head, looked toward the plotting table. "Drives 3 and 4 are spooled up, Admiral." She said, and Adama glanced at Ron. "Commander Pinkerton, take us to GENESIS Alpha."

Ron walked over to the console and began his calculations. "All hands, standby for jump!" Ron said as he pressed the jump key, jumping Polaris back into the Earth Sphere.

Earth Sphere - location of GENESIS Alpha

When Polaris reappeared, they expected to see GENESIS Alpha. They got nothing but asteroid fragments on DRADIS. "What. The. Hell." Ron cursed "Where the frak is the station?!"

Jaden looked at the DRADIS map "We… should be there..." he said, "Coordinates are all right… but… GENESIS Alpha… its gone." He shook his head "All I see are asteroids… that's impossible..."

"Tell Athena to get her ass out there!" Adama barked "I need eyeballs out there, NOW!" Dualla nodded and issued the orders, and Ron looked at the DRADIS screen.

"Admiral," He spoke up, "Either Jaden fraked up fixing the DRADIS-"

"HEY!"

"Which I doubt, I'm not seeing ANY Colonial contacts."

Adama and Tigh both glared at Ron. "Start explaining." Tigh demanded.

"I didn't design the new DRADIS array!" Ron shouted, raising his hands in defense "Blame Blair and Zeus!"

Adama was not pleased. "Then you get to go out there." He said, "Take a Raptor, get to Orb. and take Commander Takeo with you." Jaden raised an eyebrow as Ron left CIC. "And why?" He asked.

"You're technically not even supposed to be here." Adama said, "You're Ron's responsibility."

Battlestar Polaris - starboard flight pod

When Jaden arrived back in the pod, he spotted a familiar squad of Mobile Suits: the ex-Phantom Pain Gundams that were 'acquired' from Terminal. In reality, the Extendeds asked to join the Colonial Fleet. And Adama had them posted to Polaris. "Over here, Jaden!" He heard Ron's voice, and he followed the voice and found a redesigned Raptor: clearly made for prolonged atmospheric flights. "I took your advice! Say hello to the Mk IVA Raptor!"

It looked like a mix between an SSTO shuttle and a Raptor, with a top-mounted turret. "I've gotta ask... What's with the turret?" Jaden asked.

"Two of them, actually: one's under the fuselage." Ron explained "Both have two 25mm gatling cannons and a single 57mm beam cannon!" Jaden gawked at the mention of the beam weapons. "But how?" He asked, as Ron tossed him what appeared to a pair of thick, reinforced goggles. "I'll explain on the way down." He said, "Come on, let's go."Jaden shrugged as he followed Ron onboard the Raptor IVA, putting the Goggles on his forehead. Ron shut the hatch and started flipping switches, all of which related to activating the Raptor's engines, flight control and FTL. "CCE Raptor 981 to Polaris CIC: permission to take off?"

"Permission granted, Commander. Safe flight." The Raptor entered the airlock and ascended into the upper part of the pod. "Hang on: the IDF isn't exactly tuned."

"ID-what?" Jaden asked, before Ron pulled back on the stick, and Jaden was forced back into his seat. "The inertial dampening field." He explained "It's part of the gravity generator's purpose: keeping us from getting killed by this thing going forward at mach Gods-know-how-much." Ron set the autopilot and pulled out another pair of goggles. "Do you know anything about the Cylons?"

Jaden nodded. "The Colonials built them." He said "Lowe's become a major Colonial historian: won't shut up about it."

Ron chuckled. "Well, I used to work for Graystone Industries." He said, "And they built these little marvels, too: holobands."

"Holoband?" Jaden asked, and Ron flipped the pair on Jaden's head down and flipped a switch. Jaden suddenly found himself on board a Battlestar: in fact, it was Galactica's CIC. "What the hell?" Jaden demanded as he looked around "Galactica was destroyed six months ago!"

"I know." He turned to face Ron, now sitting in a chair. "Welcome to V-World." He said gesturing around them "Basically virtual reality on steroids." Before Jaden could ask any questions, he found himself back on the Raptor. "Oh, shit." Ron muttered as he pulled the band off his head and started screwing with it. "The battery's dead. Then again, it hasn't been used in 20, 30 years: it's to be expected."

Jaden watched as Ron expertly repaired it. "You've built these things before?" He asked, sounding stunned.

"I was 15 when I joined Graystone." Ron elaborated "A bit young, but they saw a diamond in the rough. I was put to work on the holobands, making the military versions. When I turned 17, I designed the 0005 Cylons. Then all hell broke loose and in order to make up for my frak up, I joined the newly-formed Colonial Marine Corps." He handed the band back. "A gift. Hopefully the Junk Guild can make use of them, just like I do."

The younger man then realized that this was Ron's secret: how he could design hundreds of weapons, ships and assorted technology in a matter of days or weeks! "Holy shit." He muttered, as a grin began to spread across his face.

"I know." Ron said, as he made a quick calculation that would put them less than a kilometer over the Republic of Southeast Asia's southern coast. "Hang on to your ass. This is going to get bumpy."

"Bumpy?" Jaden asked, before his eyes widened "Wait, you're not going to-"

"Intra-atmospheric jump, now!" Ron shouted, as the Raptor jumped, and Jaden glared at Ron. "NEVER do that again!" He growled.

"Sorry, but I'm not wasting time in reentry." Ron said as he glanced at the DRADIS, and groaned. "Frak. Nothing." He said, "Alliance, Orb, Colonial, ZAFT: I'm not picking up any known IFF signature. This isn't good."

"Not good? Try impossible!" Jaden said, "We're on Earth! We should be seeing hundreds of contacts! This doesn't make any sense!" However before Ron could retort to that, the DRADIS started beeping out a warning: two contacts approaching at high speed. "Son of a bitch." Ron muttered as he started flipping arming switches. The weapons panel showed 8 missiles labeled 'AIM-14MS'.

"What're those?" Jaden asked.

"My latest weapon to keep Vipers and Raptors in business: the Titanomachy anti-Mobile Suit missile!" Ron explained.

"Ron, that's not possible!" Jaden said, "Missiles can be intercepted!"

"Not when they go at hypersonic speed!" he countered, as the two contacts entered visual range: Mobile Suits, but like nothing either had ever seen before.

"Well… that's a new design..." Jaden said, looking at the new machines, both of them were rose red with white limbs, with a very curvy design, however their heads were shaped with an X where its eyes were, wielding what looked like jousting lances, and each machine was leaving behind a trail of red and orange lights. "What's with that light though?"

"Worry about that later!" Red beams shot past the Raptor, and Ron rolled the Raptor onto its' back and fired off a Titanomachy. The missile went straight to Mach 5.84: too fast for any CIWS system to track or intercept. The MS stood no chance as the missile connected and destroyed it. "I'd say that was a perfect test!" Ron shouted "What about you?"

Jaden was too shocked by the seemingly impossible happening to respond verbally, however Ron took the face-splitting grin he was developing as his approval. The second machine, not willing to fight the Raptor, turned around and got the hell out of there.

"You know, I don't want to do this, but your buddy shot first." Ron said as he armed the dorsal beam cannon and fired four shots. One completely missed, but the other three hit and destroyed the Mobile Suit completely. "I'll spool up the FTL drive: we're heading back to Polaris." However before he could finish, the DRADIS then started blaring warning alarms. "Oh, shit. Incoming contacts, bearing 348 carom 78, Angels 40 and closing!"

"In English?" Jaden asked, and Ron rolled his eyes.

"11 o'clock high, forty thousand feet!" He said, just as more contacts appeared, as they flew over a massive complex. "Frak me!"

Jaden looked at it, and realized what it was: a prison. But there was no prison in the RoSEA that looked like this, or was this heavily defended! "FTL's spooled up!" Ron said, "We're jumping the hell out!" Ron quickly calculated a jump back to Polaris, and they jumped out before the melee truly began.

Battlestar Polaris

Meanwhile, Polaris had launched a flight of Vipers and four Darts on a CAP flight. Leading the CAP was Viper 9481: Captain Lunamaria 'Hibu' Hawke's Viper. Like all Vipers post-war, her Mk VII carried four Titanomachia (plural for Titanomachy) under the wings. While everyone else considered the Viper out of date, the Colonials pulled the Titanomachy out of their asses, making the Viper a feared combatant once again. "Polaris, Hibu: Viper CAP is away." She said.

"Copy that, Hibu. Safe flight." A Raptor flew past, flown by their resident Cylon: Lieutenant Sharon 'Athena' Agathon, who had joined the Fleet in exchange for her baby's safety, which was granted by the CCE.

"Polaris, Athena: we've got three frigate-type ships inbound!" Athena warned, "None of them are in the warbook!"

"Confirmed, Athena: we've got them on DRADIS. We're at Condition Two now."

On Polaris, Adama looked at the DRADIS screen. "What the hell is going on?" He muttered, "First we jump to GENESIS Alpha and not find it, then those ships show up on an attack vector." This was getting annoying. "Where the hell is Pinkerton?!"

"DRADIS contact!" Gaeta said, "It's Raptor 981!"

"Polaris, Psycho: we have a MAJOR problem, Admiral!" Ron said as soon as he got a wireless connection.

"Try two of them!" Adama retorted, "We have three warships inbound! Get your asses back on board! I'm not bothering to fight them!"

"Admiral, with due respect, Polaris outguns ANYTHING in the Earth Sphere short of a Battlestar Dreadnought!" Ron pointed out.

"NOW!" Adama snapped, it wasn't that he didn't want to fight them in an untried ship. Polaris' basic design was very well-proven via the Mercury and Athena-Classes. He was just tired of destroying lightly armed and armored ships. It was like shooting at civilians, and it left a bad taste in his mouth.

"Recover our planes!" The Admiral ordered, "Plot a jump to Lagrange 5!"

"Aye, sir! FTL drive-" Duala didn't finish as the FTL console sparked and died, disabling the FTL. "Frak! We can't jump!"

"What the hell happened?!" Tigh demanded, as Gaeta and another officer, Captain Kendra Shaw, formerly of the Battlestar Pegasus, checked the console. "Power overload!" Kendra said, "The fraking reactor poured too much power out!"

That left Adama with one choice: he had to fight. "Action Stations!" He ordered, "Cancel recovery and launch another flight of Mobile Suits!"

"Aye, sir! Mobile Suit teams, to your machines!"

Adama looked at Tigh, who sighed "I'll get a bottle." He said, "Gods know we'll both need it."

Baikal-Class A-Laws cruiser Superior

"Captain, this thing is MASSIVE!" One of the operators of the Superior said "It's almost two kilometers long!"

Captain Xei Ling blinked at the giant warship on the computer screen. Shaped like an alligator and a shark, and it was armed to the teeth. "Launch Mobile Suit teams." She ordered "Arm missile batteries and GN lasers. This may be a Katharon vessel of some kind." 'Although it's fucking massive and there's no way in hell they could've built it' She added as an after-thought. The Baikals launched their GNX-IIIs, and opened their missile tubes.

"Captain, the enemy vessel is launching...what the hell?"

"Lieutenant?"

"It's launching FIGHTERS." The Lieutenant said sounding stunned "And-correction, it's launching Mobile Suits as well!"

She tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Fighters?" She asked "Who the hell uses-" Then a large number of guns turned in their general direction. "I get the feeling that we REALLY shouldn't be here." Then the guns opened fire, sending a LOT of railgun rounds at the Superior and her sisters. The Ontario was destroyed in one shot, exploding in a massive fireball. "Get us the HELL out of here!" She wasn't paid enough to commit suicide.

Battlestar Polaris - CIC

Ron and Jaden walked into the Combat Information Center, where a team of engineers were busy fixing the FTL console. "What the hell happened here?!" Ron demanded.

"It exploded." Gaeta said, as Ron sighed and walked up to the console while Jaden looked at him. "It exploded?" he asked.

"Console wasn't designed to have that much power running through it." Gaeta said, "We had to install half a dozen buffers and capacitors to make using a matter/antimatter reactor practical with a Battlestar."

It made sense to Jaden: Earth ships did the same thing. Then again, with Ron's design spree, he might've made the new reactor TOO powerful for the buffers to handle.

"Found the problem!" Ron shouted "Fraking jump fried half the buffers! I'm going to need to replace ALL of them now!"

Adama, drinking from a flask provided by Tigh, glanced at Ron. "How long?" He asked.

"A couple of hours." Ron said, "Until then, we need to kick on the sublights."

Adama nodded "Agreed." He said, "Helm, flank speed!"

"I wouldn't do that, Admiral." Ron said, "Polaris uses the same engines used on Earth ships and the same gravitic engines used on the Zeus. The IDF hasn't been tuned for maximum speed yet: you could kill everyone on board!"

Adama didn't believe that was possible. Then again, with everything that happened that year, from the Fall of the Colonies to Polaris ending up wherever the hell they were, he wasn't taking chances. "Recommended speed?"

"8 percent." Ron said, "We'll be as fast as a Mercury at flank speed, so we'll be able to outrun anything."

Jaden couldn't believe that and neither could Adama. "Helm, go to one-tenth." He ordered.

"Yes, Admiral." They regretted not listening, as everyone was thrown off their feet.

"Warned you!"

"Shut up!"

Meanwhile, on Earth

CBS-74 Ptolemaios 2

"What the heck was that thing?" Lockon Stratos asked, as the crew of the Ptolemaios 2 were gathered in the briefing room, watching the recording they had captured during their prison break of Allelujah Haptism and Princess Marina Ismail. The sudden arrival and disappearance of the strange ship gave them a perfect opening of escape that distracted the A-LAWS away from them when they focused on the unknown.

"I don't know," Sumeragi said, a flask in her hand as she eyed the strange ship as it downed the two GNX's. "But one thing's for sure, it ain't Katharon - if they'd had made something like that they'd be having a lot less trouble."

"Could it of been another Celestial Being faction?" Setsuna F. Seiei asked in his stoic emotionless tone. "Like the Trinities?"

"I doubt it," Tieria Erde said, shaking his head "There were no signs of GN Particles - True or Pseudo ones. And Celestial Being has no tech - outside of optical camouflage that can vanish like that… not even the A-LAWS have that kind of tech..."

"Well, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth," Lasse Aeon said, "They gave us the opening to escape… if we run into them again, remind me to thank them."

"I doubt they did this with the intent to help us Lasse," Sumeragi said, before taking another sip from her flask "Otherwise they would of stayed, so we could meet… instead they just left from the looks of thing… thing is, where did they go?" They had a mystery on their hands. "How long until we're ready to head back into space?"

Mileina Vashti quickly checked a screen. "Unless we run into enemy forces, we can head back into space now using the GN drives from the Gundams." She said.

"We still need to refill the condensers." Ian Vashti said, "And A-Laws won't ignore us just because someone pops up in the middle of a battle." She looked closely at the way the shuttle disappeared. Bullets went right through where it should have been, either meaning it was very fast… or it could teleport. Both possibilities seeming impossible with technology that they know of… Sumeragi shook her head. Thinking about another faction with teleportation technology was going to give her a headache she did not need. "Until we leave the combat zone, I want everyone ready for a fight." She ordered.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

Battlestar Polaris - Lagrange Point 4

Adama did not like this at ALL. No known contacts on DRADIS, those ships that tried attacking them earlier, the fact that NO ONE was responding. "I need an answer, Commanders!" Adama said to Jaden and Ron "What the HELL happened to us?!"

Ron sighed and threw up his hands. "I don't know!" He exclaimed "Us jumping into another solar system is impossible: my calculations were exact!"

Jaden had a thoughtful expression as he paced back and forth, until he suddenly stopped "Wait..." he said, "Maybe we DID jump back to Earth. Just not OUR Earth?"

Adama and Ron looked at Jaden. "What?" They both asked at the same time. Jaden chuckled sheepishly. "Uh, I don't know how it happened, but it's the only explanation." He said.

Adama was beginning to lose his patience. "WHAT is the only explanation?!" he demanded.

Jaden finally just shrugged. "An alternate universe." He said, "I mean, we're in the Earth Sphere, yet NOTHING is the same! Mobile Suits we've never seen before, things that should not be here are here like that asteroid field… everything is the same, yet at the same time different."

Adama was speechless. Ron, on the other hand, began bashing his head against a bulkhead. "GODSDAMN IT! I'M AN IDIOT!" He shouted, as Jaden raised an eyebrow at the older man's attempts to cave his skull in. "I've gotten reports of misaligned gravity generators doing some crazy shit since the CCE was founded and I never thought about THIS!"

Adama regained his ability to speak. "What the hell are you talking about?" He asked.

"The FTL drive's spacial distortion, combined with a malfunctioning gravity field, could tear a hole in the fabric of space-time!" Ron declared.

Jaden grabbed Ron's shoulders before the elder engineer could continue his attempts to give himself a concussion. "Ron, get a hold of yourself!" Jaden said, "Much as I hate to admit it, you're the best chance we've got in getting home."

Ron gave him a deadpan look. "Jaden, I may be good enough to calculate a jump from one end of the galaxy to the other, but I CAN'T calculate a jump from one UNIVERSE to another!" He exclaimed "Even for a Coordinator's mind, it's too complex! I'd need a network of the fastest computers from both the Colonies AND Earth just to get started!"

"Then it looks like you both need to get started." Adama said as they Both looked at him. "Get what you need to get this ship back where we belong, Commanders."

Jaden sighed "This is gonna be a royal pain..." he muttered, "But perhaps the locals of this universe's Earth Sphere could help us? I suggest going down there, and see what this earth is like, see what their society, culture and history is like, and start drawing the differences between this earth and ours… I mean, something had to of happened to cause them to make those giant towers over the earth, which I am going to guess are something akin to Orbital Elevators… and those solar panels makes it pretty obvious that it also doubles as an energy gathering system from Solar Power… at least we know thier a clean earth in a way."

"Commander Pinkerton, prep your Raptor." Adama said "You're going down there."

"Why me?"

"I need someone who has some idea what he's dealing with." Adama said, "You're it." Ron didn't bother objecting: his CO had a VERY good point. "Aye, sir." He said, "Jaden, care to join me? I need someone to keep me out of trouble."

Lagrange Point 2

Ribbons Almark did not like this. A massive warship had just engaged and beaten back a patrol of ships near L1. He knew the ship's basic design: he had captured one similiar to it called the Aether. Older, badly damaged and completely abandoned, but similar.

'Ribbons, we have a slight problem.'

The eldest of the Innovades activated the part of his brain that let him use quantum brainwaves, allowing him to communicate with Bring Stabity. 'Problem?' He asked.

'That ship launched a scout.' Bring said, 'They found the HRL prison.'

'And this means absolutely nothing.' He retorted quickly 'They don't know we're here.' In the deepest corner of Ribbon's mind, however, he knew humans were creative and adaptable. They would discover what was going on eventually. And if the people who built that ship hadn't changed, then he would expect a few nuclear missiles coming his way.

'Contact Mr. Cavil.' He said, 'I believe that Celestial Being should be introduced to his people.'

All was according to plan.

Ron the True Fan: And it begins again. Any thoughts for our readers, Jorn?

117Jorn: I feel very bad for Celestial Being right now… in fact I feel bad for everyone in Anno Domini…

Ron the True Fan: And why is that?

117Jorn: You've got the Polaris, Ron, Adama and Jaden on one side, and now we've got 'Mr. Cavil', who I think we ALL know who that is going to be… and caught in the middle of it all is CB, the ESF, and the Innovades… their all so screwed.

Ron the True Fan: Ribbons is actually Mr. Cavil's 'friend'. But you have a point. However, CB won't get fucked over. You're here to make sure that I don't pull that again. In fact, I have this cattle prod for you to poke me with should I get close to doing that again. (Hands aforementioned electric shock stick to Jorn)

117Jorn: *Blinks and accepts the Shock Stick* Umm… okay… I'll do my best then.

Ron the True Fan: I know you will! Next time, Polaris and company meet the neighbors, so to speak!

Both: Ja Ne!