Recovery
Introduction
What does the word Recovery mean to you? What do you think when you hear the word Recovery? Well want to know what I think? Blood. Puking. Smoking. Self Hate. It's a long story really.
Blood is for all those time when I slit my wrists and body. Every time I put that sharp but gently blade to my skin, and just cut it. How the pain felt so beautiful. I loved it. I would call it beautiful pain. And oh my best friend was my razor. I loved letting all my inner pain out.
Puking. Puking stands for my eating disorder. All those times where I would stare at my mirror just staring at myself gripping my fat. Well it wasn't really fat, it was just fat in my mind. And oh how I would just nibble on a piece of pizza at dinner so my family wouldn't become suspicious. And then when dinner time was over I'd go to the bathroom and throw it all up. Every calorie I just ate all out of my body. But a long with all the calories and fat also went my vitamins that where good for me, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to be skinny and beautiful. Oh how I adored myself.
Smoking. Smoking is for my boyfriend. I'll get to him later in the story.
Self hate The final one. I hated myself back last December. I wanted attention and I got it. But I still hated myself. Oh how I let boys play with me and my feeling... I could name a list of boys that played with my used to be small heart.
Recovery. Recovery means a lot to me. With-out it I would still be unhappy.
I was mean to everyone. My mom, sisters, friends, all because I was unhappy with myself.
Money can't buy happiness, nothing can but yourself and the people around you...
Well let me tell you the whole story... Here's my story of Recovery...