One Piece:
Reflections
The cloud of smoke hung almost shamefully over his head, as if to add to his already bashing conscience. He stared hard out the Galley's wide-open doorway, watching his captain and two friends run around the deck, playing some childish game he sadly admitted to himself he wouldn't mind joining. He saw them fall into a small rumble, until they all became tangled with each other, and began laughing; obviously forgetting they had been fighting for the last piece of meat. Each one of them smiled with the same feelings of happiness and joy, which made the chef even more regretful. His eyes found themselves focusing mainly on the smile of the rising-to-be 'King of the Pirates', however, and he subconsciously chewed a few bites on the butt of his cigarette.
"Cook-san?" he heard the melodic whisper of his 'Robin-chan' call out to him with a curious suspicion. He turned to her, purposely turning in the opposite direction on would expect, so he could see through his long blond bangs in order to show his attention, and so she couldn't see how disgusted he felt.
"Yes, Robin-chan?" She knew there was something wrong with the man before her by this point. She had noticed how calm and quiet he had been since, what she was sure to be, the departure of the island from hell. And for him to be alone with both her and Nami in the kitchen, with no signs of his usual heart-shaped eyes or his love-sick voice only confirmed her supposition. She looked over at Nami before answering him, and seeing she was simply contributing to the darkening atmosphere. Nami, too, had a depressing train of thought haunting her since they had left that dreadful place, but Robin wasn't able to comfort her as she wish she could. So, with her goal to be the chef, she acknowledged her first, "Navigator-san?"
"Hmm? What?" Nami was obviously surprised by the sudden attention, and even avoided Sanji's gaze toward her.
"Maybe you should go lay down. You look exhausted." Nami saw her give her that famous reassuring smile and decided to not even bother protesting.
"Alright," she answered softly as she stood and exited the Galley gracefully; continuing to deflect Sanji's forced concern, "See you later." And with a final two waves of her hand, she was out of the Galley's space.
Sanji, though worried with his own thoughts, was indeed wondering about the Navigator's strange behaviour. Could she be feeling the same way he was? He remembered suddenly how he had taken off when it was merely the four of them, after it had been announced there was to be another challenge. He had left her alone with Luffy…Did she hate him too? If he had been at all sensible, he would have at least stayed with her. He would never have left her alone, ever, and yet he did because he felt a strong sense of rage. He was sure Zoro wouldn't have either; it was something he secretly respected about him.
"Now Cook-san, would join me for some tea?" Again, her voice broke through his thoughts and beckoned him to face reality. He wasn't sure if it was because he had been thinking of his previous, uncontrollable rage, or because he wanted to brute alone, but he began to feel a small spark of anger arise once more. Tearing his eyes away from the three trouble-makers who were still fighting on the deck, he smiled his first fake smile to the woman.
"No thank you Robin-chan. I have to clean the dishes anyway…But I would love to later!" He was fighting his feelings, trying to still act like his usual self so she would get off his tail, but he really did just want her to leave him alone. Since his hair could no longer block his face, he beamed very strongly at the sink of dirty dishes and utensils, and immediately got to work. Grabbing his dish cloth, he grabbed the closest object and began scrubbing slowly in circles, just to give him extra time. He figured she would simply go back to reading, or leave to sit at her table, after seeing him ignore her request so.
"Cook-san," -He, for merely a millisecond, bit his cigarette again, but forced his teeth to unclench,- "What's wrong?"
He froze on instinct, but continued his work without breaking a sweat, "Hmm? I'm fine Robin-chan. It's my day for dish duty. I'm sorry."
"That isn't what I meant. I've noticed you've been steadily losing face since…" She let the sentence hang, but was able to sound as though she had already ended it with all that was needed to be said.
This time, he froze completely. If he had known she had been watching him, he would have tried to fake his usual demeanour more frequently. He realized he chose the wrong person to act around; Luffy wouldn't have even noticed. He was trying to pretend he didn't feel the way he did, the strong sense of guilt he felt, and simply continue as if they never went, even if he had a gnawing power telling him to apologize to his faithful captain. He tried to act like himself around Luffy, as his way to say thanks, to show he was worth saving. It wasn't really a matter of worth to him, but more of a sense of letting Luffy know it was greatly appreciated. He had seen the arrowhead marks in his hands and he instantly gasped with worry. He knew Luffy couldn't survive in a battle of sharp weapons, and still he had left to save his own skin.
"Oh, sorry about that. It's nothing to worry about, I promise. But I'm so glad to see Robin-chwan worrying about me!" She could see him bring his arms up to his chest from behind, but he had accidentally poked himself with whatever he had been holding and winced, then returned to washing. She almost found the need to frown. She was positive now she could not let this go.
"I heard about Luffy's battle."
The line made Sanji's grip on his tableware slip enough to make a small 'clank' noise against the skin's edge. She sat as calm and collected as usual, watching his back, his shoulders in particular, waiting to see how he planned to explain this reaction. To her surprise, and preference, he dropped the dish into the water carefully, and then let his hands slide along the counters edge in opposite directions until he had no choice but to hang his head.
"What does that mean, Robin-chan? What are you implying?" he was trying to stay calm, trying so hard to still fight the fact that his façade was what was keeping him from letting go of his cool.
"I heard that his fight was vigorous. He fought for each and everyone one of us. Did you hear him while he was trying to save us? In case you didn't, even when you were being sucked into the Lily Carnation, he still called your name with just as much fear and worry as the rest of us." Robin closed her eyes, in place of the sigh she wished to release her relief through. Returning to her book's pages, she believed she had solved the problem for the blond-haired cook.
"…You weren't there, Robin-chan," –she replied quickly enough with a small 'Hmm?'- "You weren't there when I yelled at him. I told him it was his entire fault. I blamed him for your disappearance, and Usopp's and Chopper's. I basically told him it was because of his stupidity that you were gone…I can't even imagine how terrible I made him feel, let alone how terrible he must have felt when we were all dying in front of him. I'm sure he remembered what I said then, and he still wouldn't stop. He wouldn't give up until he saved us."
"He didn't save you because he felt guilty, Cook-san," Robin looked at him from the corner of her eyes, to see if he would change his position from her statement, "He did it because he is a terrific Captain-san. He cares about each and every one of us. I think it wasn't your words that hurt him, but sadly the sight of his entire nakama dying right before his eyes."
"That's the problem!" Sanji hit his fists against the kitchen, which made many of the tableware pieces move and hit within the metal sink. He felt her knowing eyes on his back again and almost growled like the Marimo, "I know all that. I know how much he cares about us, because whether we say it or not, he knows we all feel the same. What I said…I told him you three were dead because of him. I told him that the woman he fought against Crocodile for, the reindeer boy who adores him, the friend who is almost glued to his hip, all died because he was so damn selfish…And then I abandoned him. I basically left the crew because I thought he was too dense to be our leader. But now, I think he was so damn stupid for saving me like he did for the rest of you."
"You're right," the female archaeologist's words made Sanji's head shoot up and spin around to face her with obvious despair, "He does care about us. His nakama is his family. Not only you and Captain-san, but Swordsman-san and Navigator-san, Doctor-san and Long Nose-kun, our entire family fight with each other. We all from time to time say hurtful things to each other."
He looked at her with the same face he had when he turned around; his eyes still wide and his mouth still hung open. He was only able to turn around to face her completely now, all his muscles unclenched and his body free of the tension he had been carrying since…
Nico Robin looked up to the chef and smiled, "Even if it was out of context, you said what you said because you know him well enough to know it would hurt him. If you had been watching him at all, you'll see he has, not forgotten, but merely let go what you said. He is too pleased that we are all safe and here with him to bother with the past. You, who had been on the brink of death, she understand that feeling more then him and join those three."
He finally regained his composure and stomped out his cigarette, "…I still wish I could apologize. I just don't know how to bring up the situation without opening a can of worms." His eyes were closed as he found his familiar lighter and cigarette cart, ready to start up another drag.
"There is only one way for you to apologize in a case such as this."
Sanji opened one eye, almost in disbelief, "How is that?"
She laughed for a few moments, then looked up and showed him her most gentle smile, "Simply drop your façade and make it up to Captain-san by having fun with him, like the Cook-san I know would do."
The solution seemed almost too simple to the blond cook. But her smile, her kind and heart-warming smile, made him want to believe it all that much more. He let his lips slide, return to their line-like state, then creep up the sides of his face again, for the first time in days, and genuinely smiled at her, "Thanks Robin-chwan! You always know what to say! You're so kind!"
She giggled again, "I believe you can make it up to me, Cook-san, with that tea date you promised me."
Her heart fluttered happily when she say his heart-like eyes appear at the end of her comment. He began to blow steam from his nose in excitement, "Of course! I'd love to! But first…" Suddenly, he went back to his calm-smiling exterior and headed toward the stove, pulling out pans and pots by the handful.
"Hmm? What are you doing now?" Robin asked with curiosity taking over her again.
"I promised him, while on the island, that I would make him the most delicious meal he'd ever taste. He ate what I made there and loved it, but I only had so many ingredients. Tonight, I am really going to make the most delicious meal he's ever tasted!"
She watched him roll up his sleeves speedily and run over to the fridge, picking and choosing his ingredients as if he were at a deli. Robin chuckled to herself once more, then finally started the chapter she had been pretending to read throughout their conversation, 'If only I could do for Navigator-san what I was able to do for Cook-san.' That note made her somewhat lose a small percent of her gained confidence, but she decided to wait until she was alone with her female companion in their quarters later that night to try again to help ease her ruffled fur as well.
The Navigator of the Going Merry didn't want Robin's help, however. She wanted to be her usual spunky, over-indulgent-self and save herself from believing what her supposed nakama had said,
'But aren't you always the one to run away?'
She couldn't believe Usopp, of all people, had said that to her. She had handled being called many things in her life, but no one had ever said that she would always run away. He may have heard the stories, but he would never understand what she went through as a child. Ever since she was young, she's been fighting for her life. She didn't take on every fight; as a twelve year-old girl, she could never take on fifty male pirates and still fulfil her goal. She knew when and when not to fight, that's all it was. She never ran away, she was just smart. And if Zoro or Luffy happened to be there with her, she knew they could fight in her place. They were both stronger then her individually, so she would let them take one any possible threats. That didn't mean she was running away. She hated Usopp right now, for even saying that to her. After she had confided in him over the ideas of making the Clima-Tact.
She hated how Usopp might be right. She did run away from time to time, and she couldn't think of a way to justify it. She always prided herself on her intellect and her cunning way of plotting. But she noticed, as she thought back on it, she had become somewhat lazy since she joined the crew. The men were starting to take over for her in fights. Luffy took on Enel when she couldn't, and she couldn't count how many times Zoro saved her. Sanji had his moments too; somehow, she was sure they all had some. So how was she to fend off against a line like that? She couldn't think of a way and it didn't terrify her, but merely made her feel useless. She had the Clima-Tact made to avoid this feeling! To be useful to everyone, not just some girl who would sit on the boat and make maps. But now, that was how she felt.
As she leaned against the Galley outer wall, she looked down to avoid the chance of seeing the stupid boy who made her think such thoughts and doubt herself. The sounds of laughter and cries of joy made her angry, too. He didn't even seem at all upset by what he said to her. He didn't even understand how he hurt her! Trying to be as quiet as possible, she ran off around the Galley, toward the stern of the ship, in hopes of getting as far away from the babbling idiot as humanly possible.
She didn't expect to come face to face with a katana blade upon arriving at her destination.
"Ah—Nami! Don't sneak up on me when I'm training, or you'll get sliced." Was the supposedly kind warning of Roronoa Zoro.
She didn't mean to 'visit' him; she had forgotten all about him for the last little while. She had been so caught up by Usopp's words she hadn't even thought about what the others were doing. Though now, when she was giving it some thought, she realized it was only logical that he would be here right now.
"I didn't mean to. It's not as if I came to see you." She fought back, crossing her arms as he turned to face the sea.
"And I didn't ask you to come see me, now did I?" He hadn't intentionally try to sound mean, but whenever Nami gave him her attitude, it was only natural for him to fight back. Picking up his giant staff with weights, he refused to look at her as he began to focus, "You better move. I'm not going to be held responsible if you get hit."
"…Zoro?"
"What?" He continued to face the clear blue waters, figuring she'd be leaving within moments.
"How many times have you saved me?"
The question was a complete shock to him. He lowered his training tool, and looked over his shoulder at her. He was expecting this to have something to do with his debt and was about to bite her head off. But her body was not set in her usual 'You-know-you-want-to-succumb-to-me' pose; she was sliding her back down the wall, sitting on the heels of her feet, her arms resting crossed-like over her knee caps while her eyes focused on some random wooden deck plank.
"Wh-Why are you asking me this?" He didn't know the answer to the question. And even if he had, he didn't know how to respond to seemingly-depressed Nami. Last time she was depressed, all he had to do was beat up some Mermen. He didn't know how to make Nami smile!
"Just curious. I was thinking about how you save me a lot, and you're not doing anything, I thought I would ask you about it."
"I'm trying to train!" He yelled in defence. This sort of situation was not only nerve-wracking to him, but also very weird and uncomfortable.
"You're also one of the strongest. I mean, if I ranked the crew's strength, I'd put you in the top two; I would assume Luffy is the strongest because he's our captain. Since you're so great, it's obvious why you save me."
"I-It is?" A reason was unfathomable to him; how could she figure it out?
"Well, yeah. If you ever left me like that, Luffy would kill you and I would haunt you until your final breath." She said with relatively no emotion at all, yet somehow it still bothered.
"I'm not afraid of Luffy. I could take him on at any time." He forced his manly essence to ooze out between his words, trying to prove his worth to be number one on this 'strength' list.
"I know…"
"…If you know why I save you, why are you asking how many times I've done it? Why does it matter?" Giving up with his thoughts of working out for the time being, he took a seat across from her and used the towel around his neck to clean away what little sweat he was able to form since breakfast.
"Hm, no reason."
Her less-then-usual sense of pride was beginning to annoy him. He didn't know how to act around such a sombre Nami. He felt his leg bounce under his weight anxiously; his whole body was twitching in response to his feeling of unease. He stared hard at her sulking pose, whether she was sulking or not, and he felt his temper boil.
"There has to be a reason! Since when do you come to me for your moments of weakness?" He replied gruffly. He felt so sure of his reply, until he heard her gasp. He looked over at her with a raised questionable leer, seeing she had lowered her gaze even more so, looking even more pitiful then before. Now, he couldn't take it, "What? All I said was the truth! You rarely ever have those anyway, so what's the big deal?"
"The big deal, is that he's right." He leaned away from her at that, his feeling of distress becoming evident on his face. Was she suddenly thinking about her past, and this was somehow linked to the Arlong Pirates? Or did this have to do with the island they had just left? Everyone had been working so hard to avoid it, as if it never happened, but something had been bothering her since then? Why was he the one to convert her? In all the times of her despair, it just had to be a taboo topic.
"Who's right?" 'Dare I ask.'
"Usopp, for what he said about me."
"Huh?" He admitted; he was lost by this point.
"Usopp…" –she sighed- "On…the island, when we finished the boat race, we got into an argument and he told me that I run away. He said I'm always the one to run." She began to dig her nails into her legs, simply to hold herself down as she was admitting a flaw to a man who's one flaw was his directional sense.
"But, you are." Zoro couldn't really see the problem. Women are suppose to run away in the face of danger, and let the men do all the fighting. That was how the natural order worked. Women like Nami, and to prove a point he added, Kuina would fight and they would either win or back down. He never minded taking her place in battle; it was almost a driven urge now to take over for her in battle and he was entirely okay with that.
Nami, however, was not okay with his statement. She stomped her foot down and jumped up too swiftly for him to focus. She glared as darkly as she could, with all her might, down at his head and waited for his eyes to meet hers before continuing, "How dare you! I don't need to hear that from some dumb swordsman! You have no idea what I do for the crew! You don't appreciate anything I do! What, do you think I'm just some damsel? Do you think the crew is better off with women like Robin, who have better means to protect themselves?"
"I never said that!" He too, jumped up and stomped his foot, the vein in his forehead becoming visible as it always did whenever he fought with her, "I answered what you said! Usopp's right! You do run away!"
"I do NOT always run away!" She was beyond pissed; he was making her sound worthless! Nami was not a weak, helpless little girl and this was how everyone was seeing her? This was how her nakama would remember her? The world?
"I never said you always run! But you do run away and let me take over!"
"Well from now on, don't bother taking over. I can fight my own fight just as well as anyone on this damn ship!"
"So if you're about to be stabbed, I'm suppose to just sit there and watch?"
"I'd rather die in battle then be saved by you!"
He snapped.
"That is what you want? What happened to your dream? What happened to making the world map? You'd give it up, because of your damn pride?!"
"Would you let me save you in battle? Would you let me 'take over' for you?"
"Never! But that's different!"
"How the hell is it different?"
"My goal has to do with fighting for my life! Yours doesn't!"
"You think because I'm drawing maps and scales that it's not a rigorous task?!"
"Not 'rigorous' as mine!"
"Shut up! Yes it is! If it wasn't for me, you would be dead by now!"
"No I wouldn't! I don't need you to 'protect' me!"
"Well, I don't need you to protect me! I am strong enough to fight my own battles! I don't need your help!"
He watched her give him one final obscene gesture and walk off angrily, her fist clenched, just as always. He sighed heavily, his foot still tapping, and glared hard at her back. He raced over to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her around as quickly as possible. "Stop it, listen to me!"
"Leave me alone!" she felt the strong need to hit him; her hand began to rise at her side. He stopped her and tossed her hand down at her side.
"You may run away sometimes, but you do fight for yourself too! You injured your ankle against Ms. Double Finger, remember? I had to carry you because it hurt, right? That injury proved that you can fight. Why does it matter, anyway? Is it such a problem to rely on your nakama?"
She felt her eyes become watery; her anger, while finding no outlet, could only surface through forcible tears, "You don't even know what you're saying! You don't need to rely on anyone! I never had to! And now suddenly, it's like I'll die without you guys there to save me! I don't need to be saved anymore! I'm not going to run away I'm going to show you and the stupid long nose punk: next battle, I will be the winner and I won't rely on any of you! And if you come near me at all, I'm tripling your debt and adding five-hundred percent interest, you got that?!"
"Yep." Suddenly, he sighed and, to her disbelief, he smirked. She was so surprised, she gasped aloud and dropped her tough face.
He was so relieved to see her acting like her usual self again. It was easier to yell at her then it was to comfort her. Also, he knew they both enjoyed their little brawls just as equally. Her fiery eyes, her clenched fists and her booming voice was somewhat pleasing to him. He preferred 'angry-Nami' to 'needing-emotional-help-Nami' any day. He was so relieved, he almost found the urge to laugh.
"…Zoro?...Huh? Does my anguish amuse you?" she placed those same fists onto her hips and stood strong in her place.
"No, definitely not." He shook his head, knocking away his smile, and heading back over to his equipment. He was hoping to work off his own emotional baggage after this little talk through attacking the air repeatedly with heavy metal spikes on a stick. He didn't hear her move behind him, but he figured that since he knew she was there, and finally within reality again, he would let her stay until she got bored and headed back onto the deck. Lifting his fifty pound weights to re-start his work-out, he began lifting with his left arm, and created his familiar rhythm. Closing his eyes, he let the breeze calm him down, and the sea-scent act as a tranquilizer. He never realized how emotional Nami really was. He had to be thankful for her usual spunky-self. He never did admit to whether or not he really appreciated her, but he was extremely hopeful that his out-of-character actions and tiny speech was enough to make things better.
"Aw, Zoro," –she jumped on his back in one millisecond exactly- "I thought you enjoyed my company?"
In three milliseconds…
He opened his eyes wide and blushed.
In two…
He dropped his weights.
In one…
"AHHHHHHHHHH! DAMMIT, NAMI!"
Author's Notes:
My Soul Duty's new chapter is coming along great!
ANSWER THIS QUESTION:
Would anyone read/buy a manga if I wrote it and 01—fallenANGEL on dA drew it? (Look for "Mumei")
LET ME KNOW!
p.s. See Giving and Recieving Ends chapter when I fix my keyboard!