I do not own Law and Order : UK. Kudos, ITV and Dick Wolf own all.
Moving on
He needed a drink. Seriously, he knew an orange juice, lemonade wouldn't do it. A brandy, vodka anything that would block out the day would. He needed to forget. He needed not to remember the look in her eyes when he had told her. He needed something he could trust to take the pain away. Swearing under his breath he knew he was being stupid. Falling into a vat of alcohol had never helped and it never would.
Xxxxxx
The phone call had been worrying. She was back from her stint on gardening leave, her temporary replacement finally dispatched back to New Scotland Yard. Ronnie and the others had been delighted to see the small Scotswoman go and have her back. Now, hours after Wes' funeral she was sat at home alone, waiting. There was nothing else she could do.
"Bloody hell." Natalie snapped as she snapped up the phone. "Alesha?"
"Sorry." Alesha sighed. "I just wanted to check you're ok."
"I'm fine." She sighed.
"Have you heard from him ? I left with Matt earlier. Cameron is cutting his back teeth. Joe went to his mum's house straight after and I know James, Henry and George went back to work."
"And I'm assuming Kate and Jake went off together?" Natalie smiled. She genuinely liked the young couple. "But."
"Yeah they did." Alesha sighed. "Only."
"Ronnie is unaccounted for. I don't know where he is. I didn't go to the wake remember."
"Sorry. I just." Alesha paused. "Matt has gone to look for him. When he first worked with Wes he was still drinking."
" I know." Natalie sighed. "I was there." Alesha kicked herself mentally. She knew how much the older woman cared for Ronnie and he for.
"Natalie."
"I think I know where he'll be. If you hear from him,"
"I'll call you." Alesha promised as the call ended.
Xxxxxa
The sun was almost set as she pulled the car into the small car park near the gates. She hated this, she hated every second of what was happening to the people she cared about. She touched her lips smiling slightly,there was one thing she didn't regret. Slamming the car door shut she pulled her camel coloured coat tightly coat around her.
"Ronnie." He sighed walking up to the park bench where he was sat. The shadows covered his face, making him look older than his years. "We've been looking for you."
"Sorry." He kept his eyes on the grave in front of them. Natalie followed his line of sight.
"Stop saying that."
"It's all so bloody pointless!" He snapped. "Why 'im? Good copper, wife and teenage kids. Good bloke. Why 'im?"
"Because some sick, twisted little runt of a man had a motorbike and a gun." She reached over and touched his hand, pulling it between her own. He closed his eyes at her touch. "You'll freeze out ere."
"I saw his wife." Ronnie sighed. "Michelle. It shouldn't have been him. If I'd left work five minutes earlier. If."
"No!" Natalie snapped. "Don't you dare. Don't you even think that. Wes would slap some sense into you. Can you imagine what he'd say? No it shouldn't have been our Wes. God knows it shouldn't! But that doesn't mean it should have been you!"
Ronnie stared at her wide eyed as she ranted. Tears filled her eyes as she spoke.
"You bloody idiot Ronnie Brooks!"
"Don't cry." He spoke calmly. "Hey. I'm sorry don't cry." She sniffed, looking away.
"What about your girls? The baby? Matt and Alesha? You're more of a dad to that boy than he's ever had." She paused as he got to his feet, pulling her up with him.
"Sorry." He pulled her into his arms, resting his head on her shoulder as he held her. She was angry, he couldn't blame her. Cursing himself he knew she had seen the bottle if vodka on the floor near where he was sat.
"I didn't open it. Waste of money but I'm not going back there. I promise. Not now, not ever."
"Ronnie." Natalie pulled away. "Stop, just stop thinking you're to blame for everything. You're one of the good guys."
"So was Wes."
"Yeah." She stepped back, taking his hand in hers. "He was. We keep going. MIU keeps going."
"Yeah." He nodded, raising a hand to wipe away a tear Natalie hadn't even realised she'd shed. "But everything changes." She sighed before. Nodding and leading him back to the car.
Xxxxxx
A/N worth going on? Let me know