book of love (touken AU)

by tobesomethingishard

hey there! i'm a big fan of touken otp that's why i encouraged my self to write you guys this almost-story, and sorry for my bad language..english is not my mother language. this is a story about the forbidden love between the one eyed king, and the maid touka-chan, who finally believed in love after so many heartbreaks...well that's all! i guess i suck at summary anyway..thanks

Once upon a time…there was a peaceful town, in this town…there was a family called the kirishima's family they were kind and polite, but behind their façade there was a huge secret …, they were ghouls, and a ghoul means a very unique combination between the beauty of the humanity and the ugliness of monsters …

This very family has been through a lot of catastrophes…the innocent parents were killed by a cooperation of doves for a crime they didn't do…and the kids were helplessly thrown into the darkness of the world…the kid abandoned his big sister, consumed by the urge to take revenge of humans, in search of an unstoppable source of power…, and the beauty..touka has been through a lot of pain , humiliation, lost…but finally managed to find a peaceful spot between the ones whom trying to exorcist her race…

The girl knew a lot of people, bad and good…and she was always praised by the others for her angelic features; her silky semi-long dark blue hair that covers one of her blue or maybe purple shiny deep eyes…her creamy pale skin…her soft hands and slender fingers …her beautiful curves that lighten a flame of sympathical lust in the eyes of the other surroundings …but the thing that the human eye couldn't see was the charming beauty of the girl's kagune…the fire wings , those dangerous yet very breath taking wings that completed the frame of the girl were bliss but at the very time a killing weapon…

Touka was a very pleasant hard working girl…a dream of every single man who's looking for the internal and the external meaning of beauty …but she has never believed in love…and definitely has never taught about finding it…she was broken..she lost her parents, brother , friends..so why should she risk losing an another aspect who's close to her heart..but sometimes the faith hides so many unbelievable things in the very close future, who knew that touka's another half was the king of a very strong kingdom … a beauty that got tormented by the world…a person who doesn't belong , a half ghoul.

Kaneki ken was similar to every normal person in this world, he was a human, until the day he has changed from a sweet black haired innocent boy into a stone hearted white haired angel…and if some people says that there's nothing better than the kingdom he has..then to kaneki the only thing that matters and used to matter was his beloved people whom were leaving him by purpose or by accidents…the poor boy has lost his precious mother…his father right after his naissance …, his best friends in wars.., his people in aim.., and his human life for an unknown reason.

And by the want of god…one day touka has been sent to the anteiku's castle where she'll be a servant of the much known king, kaneki ken.

And in her road touka felt pretty astonished by the structure of the kingdom…it was simply heaven! A far cry from the regular houses in the other cities, the people sounded pretty grateful of their living and their king especially, and she wondered how much of power must this king have to protect all of these human beings…and she was about to discover it of course..

At the arriving, it was pretty wonderful for the little touka to see the magnificent house where she'll live from now on and was greeted by an elder servant called tsukiyama.

The man greeted his best friend's niece and in this case we're talking about yomo, touka's uncle…he and tsukiyama were childhood friends that's why sending touka to this castle seemed as a pretty good idea to protect her for the now at least.

The days were pretty long and boring for touka. The castle seemed pretty quiet..and when touka asked about it some of the workers told her that the people are concerned about their beloved king who was out in a raid … well touka was sure now that this king might be a good person after all or why will his people worry about him this much?. But she was always afraid of him…they say that he has no heart, that he pierces through his target's heart like a knife, he is the most devilish merciless person ever..and he'll do no matter what to protect his kingdom.

ITS been 3 months since the raid, and today it was meant for the king to come back … while for the oblivious touka it was just an another cleaning washing serving boring day…until someone bumped onto her! And didn't even bother to say I'm sorry! The urge of madness has taken the best of touka who got off the ground and shouted with full volume,

"hey you!"

And suddenly the castle was upside down! And everyone started hushing touka, who didn't even manage to understand what the hell is happening, because the only thing that mattered was the broken silver ware until tsukiyama says,

"excuse her your majesty , she's new…and we're very very sorry ",

"your majesty?",

And the realization hits touka just like thunder! How stupid could this possibly be? What a huge mistake has she made? Will..., will he fire her? Shit.

Suddenly the king stopped walking and whole room got quiet…, he turned around, gazed at her with cold melancholy grey eyes and then walked away…

And that single glance, pierced trough touka's skin, like sharp knives! How can this person be a natural human? And what's up with the hair? How old can he possibly be? He looks young and?black nails?! His eyes…and suddenly the whole world blurred around the girl and she passed out.

When she woke up, she realized that she's not alone in her room…, there was a girl, a young little lady besides her, and she was beautiful in touka's eyes…her short silky brown hair and her fancy brown orbs…and wait she was reading? Yes she actually does! And to be honest touka felt a little bit jealous of this young girl…because reading is something that touka couldn't accomplish since her parents died, and even if she was only 17, she always regretted what she missed in her life, and..

"onee-tan? are you okay?"

"huh what? Oh yes I'm fine thank you!"

"sorry because you passed out, when the doctor saw you.., he said that you're not sleeping enough, is there any problems?"

"…"

"oh ..yes sorry for my bad behavior! I'm hinami, fueggushi hinami! Nice to meet you onee-tan"

"huh..well nice to meet you too, it's kirishima touka to you"

"great, and the one you saw earlier is my onii-tan, he was the one to send me over here! I mean to take care of you"

"w..what ? oh I'm so sorry your highness ! I really didn't intend to bother you! I'm so sorry.."

"hey it's okay…and I'm not a real princess so stop calling me your highness"

"is that so? Then I'm sorry again.."

"no there's no need to apologize .., onii-tan took care of me after my parents died…"

"I am so sorry…I should've closed my mouth … you are very sweet hinami-Chan"

"thank you onee-tan so you are…so you're new here huh? Isn't it nice ? are the people here nice to you?"

"yes they totally are…I'm very grateful."

"well that's great, I'm 13 by the way, what about you?"

"17, you're so very young!"

"no ,um not too much.."

"Oh, well I thin-…"

"Hinami-Chan where are you, the king kaneki is looking for you!"

"oh I'm coming…touka-Chan see you! Take care of yourself"

"huh okay see you then"

So, hinami left the room leaving touka to drift in her taught…,' the poor girl, she's an orphan..just like me..but she looks pretty happy…,well she must be lucky to have her onii-tan by her side after all..her greedy onii-tan! Just how can he be gentle? I mean, I don't know but he looks so god damn stone hearted!' and while touka was thinking the door clicked open, it was tsukiyama,

"Touka-Chan, how are you doing?"

"Fine sir…I'm so sorry for yesterday's accident, I didn't know…and his majesty is probably mad because he-"

"touka-Chan that's okay! It's not your fault, but the king is a little bit distracted these days…you know because of the wars and stuff…"

"oh is that so? Sir may I ask you...i don't want to be rude but his eyes held so much anger and melancholy…"

"well the thing that you don't know, touka-Chan, is that the king kaneki ken has been through a lot of pain…he lost his parents, his father right after he was born and his mother many years ago.., and he got thrown into the world of responsibility since he was 16, and the most important thing…he lost his humanity"

"huh? I can't understand! What do you mean?"

"kaneki ken is a half ghoul"

And the fact pierced trough touka's heart like a gunshot, 'how! The white hair.., and, and those black nails and …it can't be? Wait'

"is he like arima-san ?"

"yes exactly"

"but how did he…turn into this way? …"

"no one knows touka-Chan…and no one should."

"yes sir"

"rest well, good night."

"thank you sir…"

Touka's mind was a mess…she felt so guilty, she didn't realize how much pain did this person turned out to handle…, and she felt simply sad for him, because behind his tough façade, he was just like her, a victim!, who lost sense of feelings, who lost every reason to stay alive.

It was a very long night…as cold as the previous ones.

'huh…I miss ayato…, I wonder what's he doing right now? …that dump! Well I hope he's doing fine…'

During the hours touka felt pretty lonely …the castle was quiet, and there was only the sound of trees outside…speaking about the outside…touka decided to take a walk! Well since it's a castle, it must be safe out there! So touka got up and wore her coat…and sneaked out of the room as quiet as she can be…

And it was a very good idea! The garden looks so much prettier under the moon's lightning and the sky looks even brighter with her shiny stars.., touka got dumbstruck for a while, she feels just like a little kid! She started giggling and running all around, splashing water at the plants and catching little fireflies, and she felt simply happy…, after a long time, and she-

"hey you."

And she froze! Should she turn around?, oh god she's going to be killed!, how stupid can she be for leaving her room at 1 am, 'shit shit shi-'

"won't you answer?"

And when she turned around she was faced by another fact…, it's the king!

"huh? Your majesty?! God I'm so sorry..i, i-" touka turned bright red, and she was so embarrassed that she got caught up-

"that's okay…aren't you afraid of the dark?"

"…, no your majesty…, I'm fine..it's just that..i got pretty bored, and …"

"is that so?, then can't you entertain yourself?" he retorted with a blank face, and touka flinched-

"your majesty…, um…, when I was a kid I used to sneak out of our family's house…because I used to believe in fairies and stuff b-"

The king was surprised for a moment, then he snorted "fairies?" and he gave touka his sweetest smile, and for the first time, touka's heart gave a little throb, his smile was even brighter than the sun…it was charming, the way his eyes crinkled at the sides a little bit, the way his cherry red lips curved revealing a set of gleamy white teethes…' well, he should start smiling more, hum' touka's face heated as she realized that she was staring at him

"huh? Sorry…yes your majesty, fairies"

"well don't get embarrassed about it…we all have secrets"

Touka chuckled "yes, I believe we do your majesty"

"What's your name by the way?"

Touka blushed, how in the hell could she forget about introducing herself?! "s-sorry for my bad behavior your majesty! It's t-touka kirishima!"

Touka kirishima, the perfect name of a perfect aspect…it's been so long since kaneki has seen someone as beautiful as this human in front of him, she was simply an angel…an angel that should've been put into a frame and hanged on a golden wall…

Kaneki lost track of sense for a few seconds, he felt lost in those purple or perhaps blue orbs, he was drowning into a metical vortex…until touka made a little sneezing sound, that seemed pretty awkward to him until he felt heat reaching his cheeks, god…was he staring at her?!

"s-sorry! I got drifted away..maybe you should get inside or you'll catch a cold"

Suddenly touka shook her head and bowed gently "may I show you something first, your majesty?"

"well…that's okay"

"follow me", said touka while she moved through the trees…,and soon kaneki followed.

She kept on leading him through the way until they reached a giant stone, touka climbed the stone swiftly, leaving kaneki in awe-"huh, it's not my first time your majesty!, haaha, shall I land a hand?"

"okay."

Her hand felt so squishy and soft on top of his rough one, it's been a long time since he felt warm…

"what's this abou-?", and he was dumbfounded! There was a huge surface filled with shiny stones, or maybe falling stars…or maybe-

"fireflies your majesty! Isn't it charming?"

"i… fireflies? This is …very beautiful!"

"glad that you liked the view, but we didn't reach the greatest part yet! May I ask you something your majesty?"

Kaneki glanced at her,…"of course", and the girl bowed gently picking up a little stone,

"can you throw this, in the middle of that spot right there?"

"huh? Is it an another surprise?", touka chuckled "we'll see!".

Kaneki backed away a little bit and he threw the little shaped stone as best as he can, " what now?" , "look quick!".

was the sky falling ? that's the first thing that crossed kaneki's mind when he saw dozens of fireflies spreading all over the dark night's sky…and it was simply wonderful, so magnificent…

"isn't it beautiful? When I used to be a kid my father showed me this trick!"

"yeah, so beautiful…" kaneki smiled deeply, "Can we keep it a secret, your majesty?",

"why can't we?...?Thank you touka-Chan."

Touka blushed when he used the small suffix on her, it was embarrassingly likable, and it made her heart swell in her chest for some reason…since the day they met.

It became a habit to sneak out of their rooms at night, it was a great solution…especially for touka-Chan, to see him again..even if this was probably forbidden, after all he is the king and who is she? A servant?

Touka knew well that she'll be hurt if she fell in love with him, that's why she kept on convincing herself 'being a friend…a good friend to him is the only thing that matters ', and she was lying of course and she knew it. Every look and stare they share, the way he mutters her name, the sound of his voice when he reads to her, the rare moments when they brush their fingers gently against each other…everything made sense to her, but she couldn't risk it, 'What if it was a one-sided crush? What if he breaks my heart…how am I supposed to tell him that I'm a ghoul', and she was right, he might hate ghouls, so why should he love her…

In the other side, kaneki turned out to have a new habit.., besides reading books of course

A new addiction that keeps him up at night…that makes him smile more often, that's forcing him to fall in love badly…and just like touka, every time he gets the chance to see her, makes him even content for having her in his life. Her deep blue hair, her purplish orbs, the way she smiles at him, the electricity that courses through his veins when he brushes her skin…he was so drown to her, to the earthy flowery perfume that surrounds her, to the bangs falling around her right eye…,to a way to reveal his fantasies about her.

He knew that it might be so easy, that with a single word of him, she'll happily let him see more of her, touch her, taste her…, and feel her.

And it was pretty awkward for kaneki to have these feelings towards her, even if it's been only four months since he met her…he wants her so badly, and he can't stop himself from imagining how her voice might sound…moaning his name.

And kaneki shakes his head 'no, I shouldn't…she might...not even like me, how can she love someone like me…, it's all bullshit.', but deeply he knew that he's wrong.

Days passes by, and everything is safe and sound, they hang out more often since the little hinami discovered about their secret meetings at night, she tries to push touka everywhere near the king ,it might be embarrassing sometimes for both of them, but can't they just let it be ?

And one day, when the king asks touka to company him on a hunting vacation, touka couldn't quell the happiness that overwhelmed her heart.. .'I'll be close to him at least, huh I'm so very lucky ha', and even if she felt a little bit stupid giggling all around, she can't help it at all.

But the thing that touka was oblivious about…that she'll only be accompanied with humans, except of the king who doesn't even know about her nature, how is she supposed to get her food? , how much can she pack without getting caught?, what the hell?!

And it was a huge problem, because she only managed to take a small package with her, how can this small piece of meat satisfy her for two weeks?!, a bite every day? That's hilarious!.

So she puts her hopes up, shutting her full stomach after devouring so much meat before the trip.

She's having fun watching kaneki hunt, his movements are very swift , and is she imagining it or is it his body that curves in a beautiful way when he chases his target?! Touka blushes and shuts her brain out before she might get into details, but should she try and resist him? Well, to be honest...kaneki , is a little bit too handsome, especially with that gothic aspect that he has...his white silky hair, his light gray eyes that completes the perfect frame of his face, and she hoped if she can see what's under his clothes for once...well every single girl in the castle would hope so, and she wonders, what would being beneath him feels like?.

Everything was fine, and they still have 5 days to go, and she feels good even if the small package didn't last long, the only thing that she should be aware about smells humans, because the last thing she would like is to eat her co-workers!

3 days to go, and touka starts weakening a little bit, but she manages herself, pretending that it's a stomach ache, a very small one. Until the day that kaneki invites her to his camping, he only wants to read her something... of course, and she heads in..

"your majesty , touka-san is here" one of the guards calls

"let her in", she enters the camp bowing gently-

"your majesty, it's nice to see you", and he smiles at her "take a seat touka-Chan", he lands her his hand and she takes it with a faint blush spreading on her cheeks.

Hearing him read is pretty fun, his voice is so different when he reads…maybe so much meaningful and warm than the one he uses when he talks. And his lips curves so beautifully when he spells the syllables slowly…she wishes if she can kiss him..and he smells so nice..and…wait what? And it hits her just like thunder! ' I must get out of here! What am I supposed to do? Oh god I'm so stupid!',and as he shifts closer to her, she can feel veins constricting around her eyes, a deep hunger gnawing at her insides. She should leave!, disappear and never see him again! She was supposed to protect him, especially from herself…she can't take it anymore…and, 'run.', and when touka was about to escape, kaneki caught her hand swiftly-

"touka-Chan, what's the matter?! Are you okay?!"

Touka keeps her face on the other direction, "y-yes, I just…just", and she stumbles, the urge to scream her head out clawing at her senses, "touka look at me,..what the hell is happening" he asks her with a concerned voice, "nooo, please let go of me…please",

"touka I said look at me!"

"no no no, let me go! Let me", he can sense her fear, her hand is shaking, and she's cold! What in the fucking hell is wrong with this girl?! "touka-Chan!" kaneki grunted, pulling her with full force back on the couch, he stands, and she throws her head back hiding her eyes with her small hands-

"touka-Chan let go, and let me see", "no I'm so sorry your majesty…let me go!let me!", kaneki pins her shoulders on the couch's back and he takes advantage of her hands forcing them away from her face…she surrenders and bows her head shamelessly…she can't look at him anymore…-

"touka-Chan, I said look at me!", touka starts sobbing "no, I'm…I can'-" ,kaneki's anger took the best of him, he pulls up her chin…and…it can't be…she's a ghoul?, "t-touka…" and touka's eyes burst open, and tears are everywhere, and she starts apologizing…and she looks so pale and she's …starving.

Kaneki stares at her for a moment, he doesn't know if it makes sense but, he can't let her starve and he can't blame her even if he wants to…

Touka is a mess, she feels so bad and she wants to rip her heart out, ' I knew it! I shouldn't trust myself and go so far! I'm going to lose my life, n-no I'm…going to lose kaneki…i-i-' and suddenly she hears shifting fabric, and she looks up…kaneki's shirt was revealing one shoulder and he was sitting next to her, she was about to lose track of sense until he pulls her gently into his lap…, and she doesn't understand! Shouldn't he be yelling at her by now?!, isn't she supposed to be killed?! What-

"here,…I don't know much about the taste but…it'll help you through these days at least"

Touka's eyes widen, is he? Offering himself to her? After everything she did to him? Is he insane?, "n-no, I can't…please I can't!", kaneki catches her waist making her squirm helplessly on his lap "touka it's an order!", touka retorts "b-but-"…"I said eat!" kaneki says as he takes the base of her neck and shoves her face into his shoulder, she gasps loudly, and…her teethes sink in.

Enough to break skin.

Her head lighten up endlessly, and she feels overwhelmed by the taste of him, the irony flavor of his blood In her mouth, it's so…so sensual, and..she's losing control.

He can feel electricity rushing through him, warm rivers of blood coursing through his skin, and his head feels light, and he's starting to enjoy this…sweet pain…his hand move from her head back to her waist, and he-unconsciously- pushes his hands inside her uniform…feeling her soft curvy sides while she pleasures him with her mouth…he knows that he sounds like a masochist but…each undulation of her tongue on his shoulder sends small Goosebumps all over his body, and she's so warm against his cold hands…and when he pushes his hands lower…brushing her entrance through the fabric of her underwear…she whines and rubs her tights together…and she is moving away from his shoulder, pushing herself just so against him, he moans…he knows that his eye is blackening…and she's turning him on…but, what if he hurt her? What if he loses her after longing for her presence in his life…

He leaned closer to her face, and when she was about to close the remaining distance between them...'stop' and kaneki froze, touka gave him a puzzled look…then realization stabbed her in the heart.

Was she forcing herself on him? Her eyes widens in a horrified look, and she backs up quickly from his grasp…and the world blurs .

She leaves the camp without sparing him a single look.

It hurts.

For both of them.

He didn't mean to hurt her, nor break her heart…and he felt so shamelessly wicked.

He was the one who took advantage of her..and it wasn't her fault, it was his!, he feels so stupid, so angry, the whine feels like utter poison on his tongue…but he wants to forget..And he can't! He throws the crystal glass away…his mind crumbling into a mess…and he cries and yells until who knows when.

Touka can feel shame all over her…and she can't bring herself to hear a single word when she hears her co-workers knocking on her door. She used him, she doesn't deserve to stay alive how is she supposed to be without him?!, he was her savior, her friend, her family…and most importantly, her lover…and touka laughs hysterically..love?! how can a monster like her be in love?! And she scream and scream until yoriko-san rushes to her camping room, finding touka passed out…her heart dead just like a tree paper in the autumn.

She locks herself in her room most of the time, when they headed back towards the castle, and the king looks suspicious…and hinami wonders why her onii-tan and onee-tan don't talk…

They can't stand it.

Or most properly he can't stand it.

And he feels so bold, so angry, like he wants to rip his skin off. He loves her, he loves her so badly! And isn't it cruel that he can't even seeing her face? Even from afar?! And why is she locking herself?! She mustn't! She's his and he can see her as much as he wants! Even forcefully!

Just why can't he courage himself and explain to her what happened?! His hand transforms into a fist and he hits the wall with his full force … feeling hungry…a different type of hunger clawing at his insides, and he decides to break it to her.

He rushes to her room, but he got surprised by the fact that everyone are there…hinami's crying and …the empty room. Blood is everywhere.

His eyes widen…and tsukiyama-san gestures to the workers to leave the place…and he bows his head to kaneki taking the small crying girl to her room.

He is puzzled..horrified, his legs weaken…and his heart swell painfully in his chest,

"When did she disappear?" kaneki asks in a low tone,

"no one has seen her since yesterday's night sir…",

" …" kaneki feels ill, feels just like he got stabbed badly…all over his soul.

And then it hits him! He catches the guard's sleeve and scream on top of his lungs "find her. now!"

The guard stumbles backward and mutters a yes your majesty right before he gestures to his co-workers the orders of the king.

Everyone Is looking for touka, the king himself is looking for her! And he is so angry, so desperate to find his beloved one and he swears that he'll kill himself if anything bad has happened to her! She's his and he'll do anything to find her.

He hopes so.

She feels guilty…she tries to convince herself that it's for the best…that he'll forgive her, forget about her…after all he deserves a better life.., something that she'll never be able to give him.

And she walks and walks and runs until her feet hurt…and yes. She might find peace in the woods…even if she was injured, hungry, cold, sick…everything is just fine for kaneki's sake.

It's a pretty cold night, and rain is pouring heavily…she doesn't know who she is, where she is… her heart is so broken…and she thinks that perhaps the end is beginning.

She falls on the ground, lost, shattered…she imagines, herself, her parents, ayato, her childhood, friends, school…kaneki. And she wants to go back home, to see him for the last time.

She sees a light, and she tries to fight…and she hopes that kaneki…will be hers in the other life…and the world is black.

Kaneki dropped the book, he looks out and…he chokes so hard. Struggled to breathe...and the feeling left as quick as it came …tsukiyama helped him off the ground to his seat…

"your majesty. Please stop worrying, I'm sure that touka-Chan is fine."

"I hope…I hope so".

And tsukiyama was pretty right…because the next morning, touka was actually alive!, and as her visions cleared she noticed that an old man was standing before her…and there was also a girl..and-

"huh? Where am i?..who are you?!" touka struggled to stand off the bed but the girl held her fast pushing her back into the mattress.

"hey, take it easy…my name is eto, and this is my father, yoshimura"

"s-sorry for disturbing you!, I'll take my leave-" touka stumbled;

"just stay until your injury heals, miss?",the old man said with the warmest voice ever giving her his sweetest smile, "s-sorry, I'm touka", eto snorted "what a cute name…well welcome to our house touka-Chan, make yourself comfortable"

Touka bowed her head "thank you so much…", well those people are very nice to her, and maybe it was meant to her to stay alive…

"I'll take my leave now, eto-Chan take care of our guest", "yes father".

Touka praised the relationship between those two people, they were so kind and nice to her…she breathed heavily and stared at the space 'I wonder how kaneki's doing…I miss him so much-'

"hey touka-Chan, aren't you hungry?!"

"w-what?! No I'm okay…" touka blushed, and eto chuckled " here take some, would you like some coffee?", it was meat, a human meat "are you guys ghouls?"touka said quickly, "yes of course, is it natural for a human to have human meat in his house?",eto snorted and touka followed soon, "thank you, you're so kind", eto smiles and mutters a no problem.

They talks about their lives and they get to know each other's personalities pretty well.

It's been several days, perhaps two weeks, touka has healed probably and now she's helping eto on picking apples from their gardens…and life feels simply fine, for a while, even if kaneki is crossing her mind every time…she must force herself and forget about him…but she misses him, and when eto breaks it to her, she stumbles on forming the words-

"w-what? Hell no! I'm not in love" touka turns red, and Eto grins at her evilly "yes you are! Just admit it hahahahahaah!" , "okay okay, you won!" touka pout, "that's my girl, who is the lucky one?" eto winks-

"he was in the place where I used to live…and we were pretty close for a while.."

"tell me more about him!"

"he was a stupid book worn, and he was carefree and everyone loved him…I loved him too, but things complicated and…" touka's eyes saddened at the memory of him, and perhaps eto sensed it or something…,"I'm sure that you'll see him again touka", touka fidget with her hands "I guess".

In the other part, kaneki started to lose hope under the pressure, and he only found reveal in entraining, he works his ass off until the mornings and sometimes until he passes out, and tsukiyama started worrying about him…

Kaneki got pretty rough, and sometimes aggressive, to the point that he was about to kill a worker when he said that they couldn't find the girl, and he was forgiven of course…

He regrets everything…he just wants to see her, and then everything is going to be fine, even if she 'll hate him for the rest of his life, eat him, kill him, hurt him anything is fine! And he curses their cruel faith and he...

She'll forgive him, and he'll abandon anything for her, his career, his kingdom, his life, every single thing! Because he loves her… and he surrenders to the fatigue.

It's been four entire months, and the possibility of her death started eating him from the inside…she's eating him…and seven minus thousand is echoing in his ears, small legs moving all over his vertebras… and he's losing it, …

And somehow touka can feel an intense pain all over her chest..and it feels hard to breath and, no it can't be…and she whispers "kaneki…", while clutching her dress …and yoshimura heard her by accident.

He smiles.

'..Interesting '.

It's been several days, and kaneki's situation got even more complicated, anger took the best of him…how did she manage to leave without leaving a single trace? Was she just a dream? Was he imagining things…he only wants to check up on her? He doesn't give a shit about her pride!

And he needed someone to talk to , he needs help..and maybe he should take advice from someone…yes he should, and just like that kaneki decides to pay the apple gardens a small visit.

In the morning kaneki gave his servers the order to get his horse ready, he was pretty happy that he'll be able to see hide-san, his best friend, who was from a Nobel family, and they were the owners of the apple tree gardens…and as ken drove his horse towards the place, he remembered all of those sweet memories that passed by, and how his friend stick by his side after the aogiri's raid and the incident that tormented his whole life…the road was pretty long, but longing for his friend's company made it much easier to keep on pacing.

And when kaneki got there, he felt a relief washing all over him… he got down of his horse and lays his eyes over the wonderful spaces of colorful trees.

He surged forward moving through the trees until he reached a gleamy house, his known friend's house. He knocked on the door, waiting eagerly for an answer, and of course it came-

"eto-san I told you to get away from my house, you're scaring my cat!" said hide while he's closing his eyes and yelling like a goofy kid-

"eto-san? Hmm" said kaneki while moving his head to the side teasingly, "kaneki? Yoo, man how are you?" said hide while he lurched himself at kaneki hugging him deeply,

"dude, c-can't breathe!.."

"shit sorry man, it's been a long time, right? And you got pretty taller!"

"well thank you hide, huh I guess I did..s-sorry for not visiting more often…you know."

"no dude, it's okay, so how's yoriko-Chan?"

"seriously? She got better since the day you stopped hanging around, haaha!"

Hide pout "whaaaat? Kaneki you're breaking my heart man!",

"it isn't my fault that you was a huge coward and ran away when she tried to talk to you!", hide spares him a deadly look, and he grins evilly "said the one has never flirted with a girl haaha", kaneki laughs…and then he smiles sadly, and just like usual, hide can never shut up-

"something is out of place, come let's sit…", kaneki follow soon to hide's room and when they settle down, the only thing that he managed to do was bowing his head, and hide thinks 'just like the past',

"don't tell me? It's a girl, isn't it true?" hide claims with a loud voice, and kaneki murmurs a small yes

"did she break your heart, or what?", and kaneki's eyes widened and then his muscles loosened a little bit. "no, it was my fault, she's a ghoul, and I kind of tried to start something with her then I backed away …and-", hide hits him on the head "you god damned idiot! I told you like millions of times that you shouldn't back away from a girl…dude!","I was afraid, I don't want to lose her, what if I harmed her? I can't even control my god damned self!" kaneki retorted,

"well pushing her away isn't the right solution ether! Just go and apologi-"

"she's gone", and hide froze for a moment "is she dead?", kaneki clutched his head " I don't know, I looked everywhere for her, it's like if she's invisible!there's no god damn single trace of her and I feel so guilty, I'm afraid that she might be dea-", hide hushes him right before he can end the sentence, " I bet she's still alive, you just got to have faith in her…we'll find her..just don't panic", and kaneki feels relieved for now at least…hide was always by his side and he'll always be.

Living here is peaceful…the nature is so beautiful, and hide's family is very nice…and he can always help hide at picking the apples and he also can enjoy a meaningful talk with hide's father, while miss's nagashika prepares them an apple pie, everything is safe and sound…everybody's working hard, and the kids are playing all over the place.

He wishes if touka was with him, he's sure that she'd love this place, and she'd definitely like the quiet mood of these gardens, and who knew that his wish might come true.

The next day's afternoon, and while they were eating lunch, hide claimed-

"dad, we're heading towards 's house, would you like to come with us", smiled "sorry but a have an important meeting, and I'm sure that kaneki's company will be enough", "as you like dad, kaneki let's go!..get up!", kaneki got up and bowed in front of his friend's parents before he followed hide –

"hide, who's 's? do I know him?", hide retorted while walking " I guess you don't, he's the workers manager, he used to have a small café named :re , he was my father's best friend besides your father."

Kaneki smiled at the memory of his father, "well, good…"

They walked until they reached a small beautiful house, "he's living here with his daughter, eto-san , haaha you know!", kaneki grins " the one who scares your cat ?" , hide retorts " yapp, eto-saaaaaaaaaan, are you here ?", and while kaneki fidget around someone opens the door…

"Oh hi, you must be hide-san, I'll call eto-san!", says touka-Chan.

'That voice', Kaneki turns around quickly, "t-touka?!"-

"huh?", touka whispers and she can feel knives breaking her whole skin, she turns around, shakily "k-kane...ki?" and her heart heaves, it can't be…

Eto comes out in hurry, "hey hide what's happ-" and before hide can say anything kaneki took touka's hand and he shoved her into the inside of the house, locking the door after him-

"k-kane, your majesty! What are you doing here?! I-I" touka stumbles backward when he steps forward, piercing through her skin with the same cold stare he gave her on their first encounter..

"how could you do this to me? " kaneki snarls, and she can't breathe, she doesn't move, he shoves her to the wall " why, why?! Answer me?! " , meanwhile hide was screaming in the outside-

"kaneki, open up this god damned door! Kaneki?! Don't be stupid, get away from the girl! Open up", "touka-Chan! What's happening, answer me please! Please do something hide!", hide snarls "I'm trying here eto!",-

Touka's legs has given up and she fell on the ground, kaneki catches her hands and shakes her , "say something! How could you be so hard on me! I didn't intend to hurt you! I was about to kill myself, just tell me! Why?!", touka bursts out "I did it for your sake! Why are you so god damn oblivious!? I'm a damned monster! I should never be with you!an-", kaneki snarls " shut up! If you was a monster! Then I'm what? I don't even belong! How can you fall in love with someone like me?! I'm no human no ghoul!...", touka sobs "stop it please! N-no-", "no I won't stop! You left me waiting for a god damned five months! How could you be so cruel! You was having fun here right?! And I was searching for you like an idiot!", "then fine! Go ahead I'm having fun!" , kaneki let out his kagune and was about to lose control, until the door bursts open-

"kaneki!", and he froze, it's hide's mother, " found touka injured in his road back here, and he brought her over…she was out of reach for two weeks long! How could you do this?" ,

Kaneki stands on his feet leaving touka sobbing helplessly , and he left the house.

Hide followed him, while and eto were checking up on her-

"t-touka are you alright?!" eto called her , while was examining her small figure for any injuries-

"i-I taught that I was protecting him..i-I really didn't intend to hurt him…" touka cried loudly, "it's not your fault honey , sometimes we might harm our precious ones only in hope of protecting him", said hugging touka tightly, meanwhile hide was dealing with a very angry kaneki-

" I can't believe her! Just let go of me!" kaneki snarled, and hide grimaces "man up! You heard my mom, the girl tried to suicide! She only wanted to keep you happy!", " I don't care! She must've stayed by my side! She 's made for me!only to satisfy me! And she'll do anything-"-

Hide slapped him.

And kaneki got his senses back, or so he thinks…" kaneki I'm sorry! But finding a solution won't be easy if you kept on snarling and blaming her…try to be more..man you know what! She's a god damned girl after all! You missed her?! Right?! Then…here she is alive!"

Kaneki stares at the ground "…", and hide breathe deeply "just wait until tomorrow…we'll go check up on her ", kaneki retort " I don't kno-", "dude! You were just crying about her two days ago! Shut up and let's go eat… I feel so god damn tired".

Kaneki gives him a blank face…and then he gets up " I want to sleep."

"as you like man. Just rest your head, everything is going to be fine."

Kaneki gives his friend a weak smile "thank you.". And he walks towards his room. He couldn't sleep, everything was strange to him, and he doesn't know if he should be happy, or angry…and he smiles, because after all, he was so relieved to see her…she's alive, warm and she can breathe…he feels his chest tightening when her words echoes in his ears…

How can it possibly be? She doesn't deserve him? A monster that shouldn't be loved? Was she mocking him?! And he thinks ' is she stupid or something?, how can she be a monster! I…can't believe her!' and he laughs, and it surprises him that the laugh is coming from the bottom of his heart, but he remembers that he was about to kill her earlier…and he feels so guilty, how can he hurt himself? She was him after all, and she'll always be.

The sun of a new day is up, warming kaneki's face as it shone through the window, it was hollow…hide and his parents are already awake, and perhaps they're trying to change the mood or something, but taking breakfast in the garden was a pretty good idea. He took a quick shower, and while he was brushing his teethes, he noticed the scar that touka left on his shoulder…his face warmed up at the memory…'it was the only thing that reminded me of her…but not anymore', and he laugh.

When he got out he was greeted by 's warm smile and she invited him for a cup of coffee-

"feeling right, my son? " she beamed at him, and he smiled back "much more better ante…and sorry for yesterday's incident I just got mad and-", "man! Cut it off, touka-Chan must be waiting for us! Let's go!" hide shouted at him from afar…and they both laughed.

Meanwhile, eto was giving touka shit all over-"how could youuuu do this to me touka-chan?! In love with the king?! What a kinky girl!", "eto-san please I'm not a k-kin" touka mutters, blushing deeply.

"yes you are and he's coming here! Isn't it great?!" Eto snorted, and touka's heart sank in her chest 'I wonder…if he stills mad at me…oh god!what a bad luck'-"touka-Chan what are you thinking about? " , "n-nothing ".

Meanwhile, someone knocked at the door , it was hide-

"hey eto-san, touka-Chan how are you?", says hide who was greeted by the two girls "I'm doing just fine hide-san" and she peers around but she can-"looking for kaneki? He's in the horses' stable…you better go see him" the blond chuckled, and eto join him sooner when she saw touka blushing.

The girl wore her shoes and headed straight to the stable, and she recognized him, his hair got a little bit longer…and he looks even more handsome than before…she collected the last amount of will power she have, and calls him desperately-

"y-your majesty?" but he didn't flinch , she tries again "your m-majesty, please…please.." and he doesn't even look at her…until she bursts "kaneki! Kaneki ken! Answer me!" and he froze, feeling a little bit dizzy at the way she said his name, and he turns around…, smiling..and she can't help but to throw herself at him..

"t-touka…I missed you so much..so much", and she cries and cries her apologizes and he can't stop his tears from falling as she mutters an 'I love you idiot' under her breath.

"touka…stop crying…touka please! I love you so much, more than everything, every second passed by without having you by my side was utter hell…and I was afraid..but you're fine and that's the only thing that matters..so please stop..", touka buries her face in the crook of his neck inhaling deeply the sweet scent that she longed for, "I really did everything because i-…I o-only wanted you to be happy, and I taught that I was forcing myself on you…and you deserve ever-"

'w-what'..she froze for a moment forcing back her shocking as he kisses her deeply…revealing a new fantasy in her head, and it felt so good, it was warm…so intense that it made her head swim in utter ecstasy…

Eventually, kaneki coaxed his head to the side, deepening the kiss, nudging his tongue out a little bit...and she doesn't know how or why, but she automatically opens her mouth inviting him in…

And they kissed each other until they got rid of oxygen, but to touka…it simply meant the world.

Kaneki backed up a little bit, "s-sorry" but touka held fast and hugged him tightly "n-no thank you…it was..g-good !" she blushed heavily, and kaneki couldn't stop a small chuckle when he saw his lover's cute face.

"I love you"

"me too…, kaneki"

"let's go back…and stop being cute around me! You know that I can't control myself! Sweet touka-chan!", touka snorted "hey if you kept on being cheesy…I might get bored of you!", and kaneki pout "really…? Then I'll make you fall in love with me all over again!" and she can't help but to burst out laughing-

"Having fun there, kaneki?" hide claimed teasingly, and they turned around moving away from each other while blushing, "h-hide!", and hide laughs his heart out.

Kaneki decided to stay for a two more days in the garden, so that touka can thank eto and properly, and he was very happy that touka accepted his offer without arguing, what is he supposed to do in the castle without her?! He manages everything well anywhere.

And while he was heading towards yoshimura's house he was greeted by eto, who told him that touka wanted to do something for the last time before she'll leave with him, well he wanted to check by himself…

And to be honest, he wished if he can live a peaceful life like the others for once…well, who'll regret living in this utter heaven, where everything is pure and clean, then he smiled…reminding himself that he must never give up on protecting his precious people.., kaneki got lost in his thought, until he glimpsed a figure standing before him…it was touka,

She was picking a beautiful basket of red apples, and when he got a better look while hiding behind a tree, he noticed how magnificent his lover might be sometimes…with her dark blue shiny strands, her pale skin that gleams under the sunlight, and the way she moves an apple to her face, inhaling its scent sharply…he sneaked his way behind her, circling his arms around her waist…but wait! why didn't she flinch?

"hey aren't you afraid of being alone?" retorted kaneki while burying his face into her sweet neck, she squirmed at the sudden contact "no one wears black nails polish besides you here, uh…and get off of me, someone might see u-! kanekiii what are you doing ,n-no!", "you might need to get used to it my lady, and also, my nails' color is natural.." and he planted an another little kiss on her sweet spot.

"bakaneki" she turned around facing him properly , giving him a meaningful smile…and he praised her, and his good luck for having her in his life…he leaned closer to her, and when they were about to kiss, he felt something cold and solide stopping his way, and his eyes widened , heat spreading all over his cheeks , and she was staring at him, spelling him with her majestic eyes…threatening him,…

He knows what's the meaning of a red apple but when he wants something, he must get it.., he moved her hand aside and closed the gap between them , it was a heated kiss…filled with emotions and desires, even more better than their first one.

They separated with a thin line of saliva connecting their mouths, and touka moved her lips to his ear and whispered to him "since when have you learn French kissing, pervet?", and kaneki chuckled "since the day you bite me…", and touka bite him again, in his ear this time "t-touka-Chan…" , "well enjoy the pain…it's yours for a while, and give me some of it too…sooner" she whispered seductively in his ear and backed away slightly…he was dumbfounded, and she laughed while walking in front him " let's go..ken", and he followed without a single word, a wide smile tugging at his lips.

It was time to go, and it felt pretty heavy to say goodbye for the people you love…eto is her sister, is her father, and hide's family are her best friends, and when kaneki saw the sad look on touka's face he tried to please her, giving her a chance to stay…and she refused, she wants to be with him and he just needed to promise her that they'll come and visit their friends sometimes…

Even if she felt sad, for leaving the people who took care of her in the previous five months…but all she needed was kaneki's warmness and she wouldn't trade it with anything…

When they reached the castle, everyone were surprised that the king has found touka-Chan, and some of them felt suspicious around them, but the couple has already decided to keep their relation a secret until the things settle down a little bit.

"Hinami, are you here?" kaneki peeked through the side of the door, hinami opened the door quickly and hugged him tightly "onii-tan! I missed you so much, where have you been?!", kaneki smiled at her cute pouty face "I was at hide's, and I got you a surprise!" , hinami smiled "really? Where is it?! ",

"okay, but first you need to close your eyes.." , the little did as he asked, while he gestured to touka, to stand in front of them, "okay, open up now!", and hinami was surprised, and she started crying "onee-tan?! Onee-tan it's you ! it is really you! i missed you!", touka hugged her tightly "it's okay hinami-chan, I won't leave again, I promise…", kaneki smiled at the emotional encounter before him, feeling pretty happy because everything is alright "touka-chan, I'll go check some business, take care of hinami, okay..?" , touka smiled sweetly "of course your majesty!", "touka it's okay to call my name in front of hinami-chan…" kaneki pout, and she chuckles "okay kaneki-kun" and hinami snort 'how cute'.

Living in a castle was pretty boring, especially when she needs to walk for like five minutes to reach kaneki's room. Touka always dreamed about having a little house in the woods, surrounded with a little flowery garden, she always dreamed about having a kitchen, where kaneki can teach her how to cook even if she can't eat it.., a library where he can read to her , a small balcony where they can sit together…a bedroom where she can sleep in his arms, and feel his warmth.

She blushes…she feels impish, and she shouldn't think about him that way, but…they're kissing, holding hands…and he touches her neck sometimes…so why shouldn't she think about it.

Is he thinking about it? And she remembers the time when his long fingers touched her…in her spot, and it was electrifying…even if she was wearing her undies…and, 'n-no! Those things were about to destroy our relationship!...but what if he wants to?! I want it too…it's just-"-

"touka-Chan, the king have guests! We should clean the room!"

"y-yes ma'am."

"rise-san!, welcome!, the king's waiting for you." Tsukiyama greeted the called 'rise' girl, she's kaneki's cousin, elder than him a little bit, some few months…they used to spend time together until his ante hiyori decided to marry again.

Some of the people say that they were meant to be together, well who would ever resist rise-san? With her smart personality, and her probably sexy appearance…and who knows what she is planning to get kaneki's attention….

She bowed gently "thank you, tsukiyama-san…hum" she smiled at him sweetly, and he gestured for her to follow him.

In the hall, kaneki was sitting in his throne, watching a busy touka, who was helping hinami with one of her books…until the door opened slightly-

"your majesty! It's a pleasure to see you!" rise cheered, and kaneki got up with a smile tugging at his lips, "rise-san, long time no see, welcome. How's ante hiyori?"

"she's fine, but she's busy with her husband , you know.." rise said with a teasy chuckle, and kaneki followed "well good for them",

Touka watched the scene before her , rise-san was so…attractive, and she has a beautiful body, her hair is long and purple and she's very chick…and honestly, she felt a little jealous…well she can talk to kaneki in public after all.

Touka's eyes snapped wide when rise turned to her direction-

"hinami-Chan! How are you? Oh you look beautiful" said rise while she approached the two girls, hinami flinched and hide behind touka, "h-hinami-Chan , it's not appropriate!" touka whispered , face blushing with embarrassment, "but onee-tan!"-

"hmm, that's okay…looks like you love your onee-tan …", she was only a few centimeters from touka, who was staring on the ground shyly.

Rise grabbed touka's chin gently, titling her head upward-

"say…your name? Honey?", said rise with a slow tone, touka gulped nervously " t-touka ki-rishima, your highness."

Rise moved closer to the girl, making her flinch "beautiful.", and she let go of her.

Her heart was about to be shut! And when hinami saw her she made an excuse to leave the hall, and kaneki obliged.

"onee-tan I told you rise-san is evil! Is she going to hurt you!?" said hinami , and touka smiled weakly "hinami-chan, don't worry…she might be a good person, who knows?!", "onee-tan you're lying!", "what?!" , " your voice sounds concerned! And onee-tan, don't worry because me and onii-tan will protect you!" , "hinamiii you're so sweet"…

Touka couldn't sleep that night, nor go out to meet kaneki, she was afraid that rise will see them, and she refused to risk kaneki's safety for nothing.

In the morning, kaneki and rise were having breakfast together , in the presence of touka and some of the other servants.

"kaneki-kun, you might not believe it but do you know who I met three days ago?", "who?", rise's eyes crinkled mischievously, "Takatsuki-sen!", kaneki's eyes widened in surprise "is she back?! Ho that's awesome" , "yes can you believe it?" said rise while moving her hand to his slowly, glancing back at touka, searching for any reaction, kaneki flinched and removed his hand quickly with a puzzled look on his face…feeling embarrassed from rise's misbehavior , he would've do ask her why if it wasn't for touka's presence…the air got heavy and even if touka was utterly mad, she decided to let it be ' just don't panic! She's leaving soon!...yes I hope so'…so the best thing to do was being completely oblivious.

"done? Your majesty?" retorted touka with a smile, and kaneki breathed in relief " yes I guess so,..", and when touka's hand surged forward to the plate , kaneki brushed her hand with his lovingly..touka's eyes widened, blushing slightly at his action..she bowed her head quickly exiting the room, while kaneki's eyes were on her, with a faint blush painting his rosy cheeks.

' well well, looks like we have some love birds here…, so sad that it won't last forever' and a wide smile appeared on rise's face-

"well excuse me your majesty… I need some rest", said the demon standing up from her chair,

Kaneki gave her a blank face "okay, take your leave, rise-san."

Right after rise's exit, he went to touka's room, just to check up on her.

He opened the door slowly, "touka-chan?" , "come in", she muttered slowly-

"hey, what's up? Did you miss me?" he brushed her cheek with utter warmness, "hmm, yes…did you miss me?" and something was out of place in her tone, " of course I did, what's wrong with you?" he asked with a concerned voice, and she huffed moving her face to the side " I don't know, you sounded pretty amused with rise-san…", kaneki got quiet for a while then he smiled, titling her head to face him " touka, were you jealous of her? Oh god I can't believe you! You're so cute", " n-no, you idiot! I'm not! why should I be! I-I " , he hushed her slowly, putting his four finger on her sweet lips, " touka, you're so cute…rise-san is my sister! How can you be jealous of her! And…even if she did something wrong…she 's only influenced by the childhood days!" , touka's eyes dropped, and she seemed sad, way too sad…and he can't stand it. Kaneki was disappointed, then he got it-

"hey touka-chan…does rise got any of this.?." and he brushes her hair away from her right eye, touka flinch, "do I give her, what I give you?", he leaned closer to her face, mumbling against her red cherry lips "do I kiss her?, touch her? " , and he kissed her for a heartbeat , then he moved to her ears "do I want her?" tugging playfully at the sensitive skin underneath it…and it was overwhelming, "why aren't you speaking touka-Chan , did I really convince you?...", she nodded weakly , "good" then the only thing that touka managed to do was fighting for dominance while he kissed her.

Well, she shouldn't doubt kaneki after all, if he didn't forget about her before when she ran away; why should he dump her now? 'how can I be so stupid? Uh, I need to rest my mind for a while…', touka headed toward the bathroom, she needed to fix her appearance after the heated encounter with kaneki! He can be so fooli- 'what in the fucking hell is this?! Holy shit!' , well looks like she have a little mark below her ear, and it is clearly visible! How in the fucking hell will she hide it? ' bakaneki! He'll never ever kiss me again! Huff'

This day has been so long for kaneki… he misses her even if he has seen her in the morning…but she might be sleeping now, ' she needs to rest, I just don't know why she refused to stop doing these things..hmm, what a tough girl' and he resumed reading his book until he heard a knock on the door ,"kaneki-kun, may I come in?" it was rise, "come in"

Rise smiled at him when she entered, and he paid her back.. "were you going to sleep?", rise acted like she was surprised " oh yes I was going to, then I remember that I got something for you!",'oh so that's why she's wearing her night grown?, does it have to be so revealing', he blushed when he caught a glimpse of her breasts, 'that's weird, why can't she just leave already!', she moved her hands from behind her giving him a small package, a book shaped package…" is it a book? " , he said with a glint in his eyes, "open it up" she retorted with a smile, when he shrugged the cover up it was a new book to him , its name was ' the black goat egg' and it was signed by…Takatsuki-sen! "are you kidding me? How did you get it?" , rise's eyes shined "well it was a present from the author, it's her newest work, I hope you like it", "thank you rise-san" .

They chatted for a while…"oh and that girl…what was her name? touka? I guess..well she looks so mischievous. She is so weird", kaneki was stunned for a second 'what the hell is she trying to say', then rise move behind his chair , gripping his shoulders "well…I don't know..she's hiding something", said the demon while she pushed herself to his back, "r-rise-san,…?" he gulped , "kaneki, kaneki, kaneki…what are you reading… ?" and she glanced towards the book he was reading "oh, a smut Novel? Hmm, let me guess…who's the heroine? Touka-Chan?", and kaneki got up from his chair furiously "what are you trying to say, rise?!" he gave her a hard stare, "well, you know everything is obvious! Honey you are in love with her! Oh how sweet, how sad!" said rise while laughing, " here's the deal babe, touka-Chan is a stranger, you can't love her?! She's just a maid, haaha… a helpless one!" , kaneki grimaced at her words " get out rise!" , and she smiled at him "not yet honey"-

Five minutes before, one of rise's servants, lied to touka-Chan, telling her that the king wants her to prepare him some coffee ' oh, that's great, I'll get to see him!, hmm it will be the best coffee he ever tasted' she was utterly happy walking towards his room-

" I said rise go out!" kaneki snarled, "okay, maybe now" and she lurched herself on him, flipping him over, and pushing herself upon his desk , revealing her naked shoulders, kaneki was stunned at the sudden action and to prevent himself from falling he clawed to the edges of the desk " wha-!" , the door burst open-

"kane-"

.

"oh, …!" speak of the devil.

It all happened so fast…the mug shattered so fast, and kaneki looked up…horrified…because All he managed to see was a blank face, dead orbs, and a shattered soul.

She exited the room so fast… while he pushed himself off rise…"kaneki ! you'll never ever be with her, ...ever!", "I swear if I find you when I come back! I'll rip your heart out!" kaneki snarled, rushing through the door, searching for his broken lover.

It all happened so fast…she opened the door so fast, she wanted to see him so bad…and she was so stunned…broken..and her heart died so fast…

Touka ran towards her room…feeling lost, sad, and bad about herself! She hated her life! Everything! And she cried and wailed until yoriko rushed to her room knocking with utter concern-

"touka-Chan!touka! what's happening, open up! "

"go away!" touka snarled , feeling so stupid! And dumb. "Why can't you all just disappear?!"

"touka-chan, please…honey I'm here to help you..let me in, I beg you" .

Yoriko cares about her, and she knows it…she's the only one who'll never hurt her..- the door opened slowly, and yoriko entered…finding touka crying, looking pale and stunned-

"tell me? Did you and kaneki fight?"

"h-he and r-rise…he..t-they were doing s-something in …is room" sobbed the poor girl heavily , clutching her hair , tugging at it furiously-"are you sure? Touka please stop it! You'll hurt yourself", and she snarled "I saw them! I saw them! And he lied to me! He said that she was his sister! Fucking hell! I hate myself! I hate him!...my life is a whole mistake!"…

Yoriko's eyes saddened, she hates seeing her best friend suffering like this, what did she do to deserve all of this-

"t-touka-chan! Please! You got it wrong! I can explain!" said kaneki behind touka's door,

Yoriko's head snapped towards the door, and then towards touka…she looks horrified "tell him to leave! I beg you! Or I'll kill myself! I don't want to see him, god please" touka tugged at Yoriko's dress whispering hysterically, "o-okay, just rest I"ll talk to him honey…".

Yoriko opened the door and got out quickly shutting it behind her as fast as she can, "move!", " your majesty, please, you can't see her now, she's sleeping…", kaneki gave her a hard stare " I need to explain something to her! It's an order", yoriko disobeyed " please your majesty…I trust that you have nothing to do with what happened earlier, but you must understand…it wasn't easy for her to see the scene, so she might need some time.." said the girl with a sad tone, and kaneki's eyes softened , and they held a lot of pain…she warned him, and now he got tricked by rise, and she'll never believe in him.

" I swear that rise took advantage of me! I-i…, she knew that I'm in love with touka! And it was her plan to get me into this! I'd never love her! And she knows!, I'm going to kill her!" kaneki's eye blackened and he wants to rip his heart out…but yoriko stopped him quickly, before he can do anything wrong " y-your majesty! Calm down! If you killed rise, how are we supposed to change touka's mind? You should convince her first! And I'll help you…it is true that this whole thing might be planned…I trust you my king, but won't be able to help you if you don't trust me as well…", the rage that was consuming kaneki slowed down, disappearing…replaced by sorrow and sadness..and now he knows why touka wants to keep everything as a secret…because no one will let them be.

"okay, just tell her…that I'll show her the truth, please, she needs to know that it wasn't my fault, …I'd never let her down…".

It's been a day, and a night since the incident, and touka still refuse go out of her room, she just wants to leave everything…but she's afraid, afraid of the promises she gave…of regretting the decisions she made…and what if she was wrong?, again?...she keeps on trying to believe…but how could she deny what her eyes has seen…

And she got up; furious, lost…she needs more time, to think probably.

In the other side it was obvious to yoriko that rise-san is trying to hit on the king, well…what's the point of those revealing dresses, and the nickname…, and the way she treats touka was suspicious too, maybe she can spy on her…, but what if she failed, 'I should try at least…rise is leaving tomorrow's morning, it's going to be too late.' And she made her decision.

The first thing that came to her mind was rise's room, but how will she get in there without getting any attentions…so sneaking was the best solution after all.

Yoriko waited until rise left her room, and she let herself in.

She searched for something weird, but found nothing, just some fancy dresses, makeup, scattered books…and kaneki's ring? It looks just like it, wasn't the king wearing it that night? Suddenly Yoriko's heart sank in her chest,…the sound of heals..and a feminine laugh? It was rise! God she should've been more careful! ' oh god, she'll kill me! What am I supposed to do? Where should I hide?', and she panicked when the sounds became more close.. 'Y-yes the closet! Thank god', she entered the small closet quickly…locking it behind her.

And when rise opened the door, there was someone with her…a servant, a woman servant?! Who is she? –

"well, well that was super easy! Ahahaha, love birds can be easy to kill", it was rise who's talking , "yes, of course your highness, you should've seen the happy face she made when I lied to her!", it was the other woman, "oh ania, I know that you're a good actress…but I did well too, kaneki can be so stupid sometimes, I didn't even give him a second when I …" and they kept on talking, leaving a dumbfounded yoriko…how can they be so evil? 'god, now what should I do? How am I supposed to get out of here?! And who's this ania?..'

Yoriko felt something on her foot, shaking it quickly without realizing …it was just a small shift! What the hell –

"hey have you heard something?, your highness?", rise moved her glasses to her nose "oh I don't know…maybe a dress fell from its place? Come on…I want to see my future husband" she winked, and they laughed together , 'in your dream bitch' yoriko gritted her teethes.

She must tell the king! And she didn't stop until she reached his throne room-

"y-your majesty, I've he-heard everything! Huh, huh-a-", "yoriko-san take it easy! Breath!" kaneki retorted, "your majesty, rise got help from one of her servants, her name is ania, she's the one who gave touka the wrong order, so that she sees rise's acting, that you was a part of it!",

Kaneki's eyes darkened, and he snarled "bring her to me, now!", but yoriko disagreed finding that the best way is to make the servant say everything that rise has ordered; and then they'll force her to betray rise in front of touka.

It was hard for him to wait until tomorrow's morning to tell touka, but he wouldn't dare and face her…meanwhile some of the guards accompanied yoriko, to look for this 'ania' ..they asked some of her co-workers until they reached a room, yoriko knocked at the door with her full force-

"what the hell!? " , "you're going straight to it, but if you want to die easily , you better shut that mouth of yours!" retorted yoriko with a small smile, "take her!."-

Meanwhile,

Touka was doubting if she should talk to kaneki, or if she shouldn't…but she can't stand the small voices in her head that urges her to see him 'what if you was wrong…he forgave you the first time! …don't you think that rise must've been planning for the whole thing? Why are you so easy to be tricked?!' and she stood, making her way towards kaneki's room.

When she got there, she suspected that she can keep still, but she took a deep breath anyway, opening the door slightly..-

"yoriko have..-" he can smell her scent…she's here.

Kaneki turned around slowly, breathing labored as she made small steps towards him…

"touka-Chan…, I'm so so-", she cut him fast "don't…just tell me the truth! … I really want to believe in you..but it was hard for me-", "touka-", "stop! Listen! Do something! convince me, can't you see that I'm dying!", kaneki snarled "touka-Chan! Can't you trust me for a single time?! How can you even think about the possibility of such a thing?", touka's eyes redden with tears "then what do you call, seeing your beloved person with a fucking stranger? Betraying?!, and even if I w-" –

"your majesty, we found her" said yoriko from behind, and touka turned around , stunned by a new fact "you! You was the one who told me to prepare the coffee…what have you done? Yoriko what's happening"-

The guard pushed ania towards the king, and she felt blood freezing at her veins-

"say…what did rise order? Unless you want to die right now!" kaneki commanded with a cold tone,

"y-your majesty! Please I'm just a servant…! I did what she said! That's all! I s-swear" she backed up when kaneki got up from his chair " tell me, every fucking detail! And you , I want rise here now!" .

Touka was utterly stunned by the scene in front of her, so it really was a plan…

Everything make sense now, they were both betrayed, rise planned everything since the first day…just how can she be so oblivious, she hurt kaneki again…and she feels so ashamed about it.

And the door clicked open , it was rise who was horrified to see her servant kneeling down on the ground, with a drenched face…" I want you out of my kingdom…now! Show me your face again, and I'll rip every piece of meat out of your face" kaneki shouted at her furiously, and the only thing that she managed to do was grimacing…and in a flash she lunched herself at touka, holding a small knife straight towards her heart.

Everything blurred in touka's vision…the world was quiet and she' s still waiting for the pain…but it never came, and it will never come, instead she heard a small grunt, that belongs to her lover.

Silence.

Touka's eyes shot open,

Was she dreaming? And what is she doing in kaneki's bed? What happened to yoriko, the servant, rise? And most importantly…why is she alive? Wasn't she about to be stabbed in the heart?

The room was quiet, dim light …she got up slowly heading towards the bathroom …cheeks turning pink, dazed eyes as she recognized that white hair of his , laying in the hot water…naked.

"kaneki…?", and his face turned to the door, seeing touka peeking at him from the side…

"come in.", she hesitated in the beginning , but she'll enter anyway.

She felt utterly embarrassed for standing in front of him, eyes on the ground…a hotness spreading all over her aspect, "hey , aren't you happy?" and her eyes shot towards him, surprised .. she stumbled " y-yes, sorry I just ca-" and while looking to his side she noticed a huge crease…right between his shoulder and chest area " oh my god kaneki! Are you injured!?" and she rushed towards him kneeling down and examining his injury…

She is …touching him, and her small hands are so cool on his heated skin, she looks concerned but…his face flushed at his thought ... he flinches slightly when she puts her finger on his scare, closing his eyes, and she looks at him, noticing that he was blushing…

She needs to.

Suddenly touka got off the ground, "can I join you?" she muttered shyly…and his eyes caught her blue ones, nodding slightly…

Her never …imagined that seeing her undressing would make his blood rushing in his veins, his heart pounding furiously…he was grateful that he's the only one to see…the way she pulls the dress slowly letting it fall to her feet, and his eyes widen…he remembers those underwear, he touched them before…and he gestures to her "come..".

She's simply…breath taking, the way her legs sway past each other.., and the lacy black underwear, holding her petite frame perfectly …

She sank in.

She can feel tingling in her whole body, the hot water slamming gently against her cold skin, she breathes…, her chest heaving as she notices kaneki's eyes all over her , and…she sit in the water, moving slowly to straddle his lap, and he breathes sharply when her skin touches his, overwhelmed by the warmness radiating through it.

He closes his eyes.

She's shaking something loose on his head , probably a shampoo…he's so relaxed by the way she moves her small fingers on his scalp, massaging his head slowly-

"kaneki, shut your eyes or the shampoo will sting" , and he does, until he can feel hot water splashing lightly on his head, and a small smile line up on touka's lips as he squirms underneath her touch.

Touka feels a little bit impish, as she deepens her small exploration, picking up a bar of soap and running it over his shoulder blades, moving along his chest and lower to his stomach…reaching his abdomen, watching him with hooded eyes as he breathes in a frantic way.

She was about to touch him when he moved her hand swiftly, flipping them as he straddled her this time, pinning her to the wall-

"hum, well…you've had done quit bad things these days touka-Chan…maybe you should be…punished" he smiled when she nodded slowly face shamelessly on the ground,

He moved his lips to her ear, pushing his body against her small one harder, she moans and he retorts " usually, my punishments are rough…and painful , can you do something to change my mind,?…", she turned bright red with embarrassment, she knows that he's mocking her…but she truly wants to be good to him, for once at least.

She collects the last amount of will power she got- "if I gave you something precious to me, would you forgive me?" asked the girl with a low voice, "like what?",

'myself', she took his hand, pulling him to her, and murmurs a take me against his mouth before she indulged herself with him…

The kiss was slow at first, then it turned to a breath seeking session…it felt like he was eating her, pushing his tongue further in her mouth, fascinated by the taste of her …he didn't know if it was normal to ghouls, but he assured himself as he moved lower, kissing and biting at the skin of her neck gently.

And she didn't know either…if the side that's taking over him now is the human or the ghoul one... she moved her small hands to his back, feeling his wet muscular body, surrendering herself to the pleasure he's giving her.

He traces her collarbones eagerly with hungry licks and bites, moving along her chest to her breasts…she tugged at his hair, when she felt his fingers pulling the claps of her bra, letting it slam painfully against her bare back, "take them off" she moans, and he obliges. She inhales sharply when he snaps her bra open, moving his hands slowly to her shoulders, pulling the straps until the clothe falls in the water…

He catches her hands, pinning them up her head…and she feels so debauched when his grey eyes roam her nude chest before they look right into her blue ones…he lowers his head, breath brushing against her white skin, planting small kisses along the valley between her mounds, and he takes one of them in to his hand, groping it gently… " A-ah-ken.." her back arches when he licks her areola, crying in pleasure while he sucks on her harshly.

He pulls back when the water shifts, and she rubs her tights together,...she looks absolutely gorgeous…with her flushed cheeks, peeking at him from under her long eyelashes , she breathes, and he can't stand his desire for her anymore.

He kisses her hard, moving his rough hand along her stomach to her underneath, she squeals when he rubs her through the fabric , but he hushes her with his mouth, until she pulls his hair harshly…

He backs away pulling her on top of him, as he squishes her bottom gently , and she moans…his name this time. She hugs him tightly, clutching her hands at the base of his neck, while he plays with the edges of her panties , pulling them gently along her soft tights and legs.

She lifts herself off the water, and his left hand catches her waist, while he positions the other underneath her entrance, she moans loudly when he brushes his fingers into the new revealed skin, moving along her walls back and forth…adding a little bit of pressure in every stroke.

She can feel herself getting wet, breath labored as he works her up perfectly,…and he pushes a finger inside.

"k-kaneki!, it feels …s-so good" , she moans gently..and he grins when she makes small noises of pleasure, enhancing himself with the feeling of her tight walls gripping his finger …he feels so turned on by her masochist actions, a strong feeling of satisfaction filling him up with each time she moans his name, only his.

He added two fingers in the process, and she feels like he's breaking her apart, "hah, n-no more! Please..ah! k-kaneki!", he kisses her briefly " not yet…, just handle it a little more, I love you.." he says with his coolest voice, and she wonders how can he keep his composure while she still has nothing left of her sanity?

He moves his fingers furiously this time, pumping at her tight whole until she starts making small sobbing noises, and when he feels her tighten around them, he pushes his fingers back…then he shoves them into her.

And she comes with a loud groan, drenching his hand with her intoxication. Her legs gave up to the overwhelming feeling he gave her, and she falls in his lap breathlessly…

"did you just, come?" he whispers with a teasing tone, and she nods slowly, too tired to retort properly.

He can smell the heady, warm scent of her orgasm, while he licks his fingers deliberately…and he wants to be inside her. He rubs his hands on the sides of her waist, looking into her eyes directly…and she averts her gaze slightly, running her small fingers along his chest.

The sound of the water droplets is the only thing that fills the bath tub, along with their breathing...

They didn't talk about it, but he understood what she wanted...making her sits on him, and without arguing, she moved down his boxers.

They stayed silent for a moment, until the water shifted...and he entered her. It was too tight for him...the feeling of her walls tightening around his fingers is nothing compared to the way he feels inside her, "t-touka...loosen up...this might be painful, if you want me to stop just say it" kaneki assured her lovingly, "n-no , I want you to do it, huh...kaneki..", " okay...I'm sorry" he kissed her hard, while he shoved himself into her, breaking her hymen entirely, and she screams inside his mouth, teary eyes, and short breathes.

They separated, and he rubbed her waist soothingly, "was it painful?..touka?", she breathed " hah, a little..., but you can..move. if you want to.." , he was utterly surprised by her behavior, "touka, are you sure, I don't want to harm you...", "p-please, I really need this...i love you" ...

He moved backward, trusting into her slowly...small whines building in her throat, and somehow the pain has transformed into an overwhelming pleasure , and both of them succumbed into the feeling of utter bliss...

She was his everything, and he'd never trade her for any reason , he's the only one who can satisfy her...and she's only made to satisfy him, and somehow he finds himself pushing into her harder...each thrust is punctuated by his name, falling like sweet honey from her mouth, warming up his insides.

And that night, they gave in...Until she cried her apologizes, her pleasure, and he moaned his forgiveness.

In the morning, kaneki was greeted by a small angelic figure sleeping next to him, revealing in his mind the new fantasy they brought last night...touka is so quiet and peaceful when she's sleeping, and he uses that to his advantage to take a better look at her small face...and he was astonished ' how can someone, this beautiful...exist in my life?' he smiled when he noticed her lips curving, planting a small smile at them, then he got up.

Touka woke up a few minutes after, peeking at kaneki who was changing his clothes, "kaneki?" touka moaned, and he looked at her " touka-chan? Good morning! Are you okay?", touka nodded slowly.

She pushed herself up, moving towards him with her blanket, covering her nude body...and to his surprise she hugged him tightly, "babe, what's the matter?", touka shook her head "n-nothing I am just, so sorry that I didn't believe in you...but I just...i really love you and I can't imagine you with someone else..unless you were happy with her, I wo-", he hushed her with his finger, smiling at her warmly " shhh, I'm sorry too...i should've been more aware..and I love you too, stop tormenting yourself, and...give me a kiss?" he grinned at her like a child.

And for once, touka felt like her life makes sense, she stood on her toes, staring at his gray orbs as she closed the remaining distance between them.

He smiled through the kiss, clutching her small waist as he lifted her up, taking her to the bed, where he dropped both of them, "k-kaneki! Haaha! Stop it! It tingles!" she laughs while he nuzzles her nose, flicking it gently " let's go back to bed...i want you.." kaneki lowered himself at her, kissing her forehead to her nose, and when he was just about to kiss her , she stopped him with her hand "work comes first, ... your majesty" she smiled at him sweetly, and he huffed an ' of course when you give me my kiss.'

When it was time to work, touka seemed to have a small ache between her tights, and it was pretty obvious to yoriko.

"touka-chan, what happened yesterday? Did you sleep well?" said the blond with a teasy tone, touka's face fired up at her question immediately "y-yes of course, yoriko!", "oh..., is that so, hmm, I thought that you were tired, your legs seemed to be unsettling!" yoriko winked, "god! Damn you yoriko!", yoriko laughed " you did the deed! Am I wrong?" , touka's ears began to match her face in color , so she buried her head in the pillow and grumbled " you don't need to put it that way!",

"haaha, oh god. This is hilarious! How was it?", touka got up quickly " what the fuck?! Are you expecting me to tell you what happened?! Dead no!" she crossed her arms, yoriko lifted her eye brow " well, I'm sure that you're going to."

Touka glared at her , then she got desperate " okay, okay! It was...good", Yoriko's eyes shone immediately " oh my god how cute! Was he rough? Or gentle?" , touka blushed " he was gentle in the beginning...", "oh, then...I'm sure that you liked the rough part, didn't you?", touka nodded, "I wonder if he liked it..", yoriko snorted " hey, how silly can you be? Your tights are aching! I'm sure that he was pleased to work you up, but to be honest...i wasn't thinking that you'll be easy on him, but he did really make you putty", "n-no! I can be rough too!-", "oh yeah, with everyone except kaneki!", " yoriko! Shut up! Or I'll hit you".

And they laughed together until they got tired.