Hi there. This is my first HnK fanfiction and I'm excited to contribute to the ever-growing fanbase. Please leave me constructive criticism and let me know how you guys feel about it. Enjoy!

Another day, another burden. Another nightmare that Cairngorm can, thankfully, wake up from.

It jerks out of his sleep, breathless and weighed down by sweat and the heaviness of unrest. He looks at the clock and sighs; it's already late into the evening, and there's a small panting at his bedside eager to get his attention. He picks up the mound of fluff and energy, and lets the pup lick his face with incomprehensible enthusiasm. He feels a faint smile forming on his face.

"I know, Shiro. Let's go for a walk."

Cairngorm makes his usual tea and a lone slice of toast. His appetite has diminished as of late, but thankfully Shiro's hasn't. It bounces ecstatically at his owner's feet, diving into the bowl of food head first before it even reaches the floor. Cairngorm pats the bobbing head and goes to his meager breakfast. He brings the cup closer to him with careful hands but ends up staring at his reflection on the hot liquid, taking in the flashes of last night's dream as they start pouring into his head piece by piece. He sees her, he hears her, he loses her -again. Why did it have to feel so real?

It's just a dream, he should have moved on by now, found a girlfriend, be happy, create new memories together. But it all comes back to haunt him, and the despair he feels is too much to forget. He doesn't want to forget. Shiro looks up from the plate and, upon seeing his owner's state, plants itself beside a clothed leg. It looks up at silver hair, tenderness and worry clearly visible in its canine features, as Cairngorm hides his face in his hands, and whispers,

"How can I ever forget you, sis?"

It's cold and clammy outside, but Cairngorm has his routine pinned down. He walks Shiro in the nearby dog park, or rather, tries to because the damn thing jumps at every one who does so much as look at it. He doesn't know whether to find it endearing or utterly annoying. But he lets Shiro enjoy himself, giving half-hearted smiles to those who actually give in to the pups antics. He repeats the same story over and over, of how he saw Shiro in an alleyway and just couldn't leave him there. There's more to it than that, but he leaves the unnecessary details out.

Then followed the usual seat in the coffee bar where he would let the hours go by, book in hand and a sleeping Shiro curled in his lap. The same waitress would greet him and bring his drink; her smile is always genuine, but there's still that tinge of pity behind it. It only gave him hatred, but he drowns it out like clockwork.

The routine got rather monotone after a while, but it was better than losing his insanity while holed up in his apartment. She wouldn't have wanted that anyway. Cairngorm looks up at the clock by the counter and isn't baffled that hours have flown by; it's already time to head home, and he feels neither joy nor disgruntlement.

The stoplight on the way is packed with people, and when they surround him the claustrophobia starts to whisper in the back of his mind. They gather even closer and the slight shoving makes him close his eyes shut and wring the material of Shiro's leash in a tight fist. Cairngorm remembers how, at moments like these, she would tenderly wrap an arm around his shoulder, always understanding, and say,

You'll be alright.

He opens his eyes wide in shock. Not at the heartbreak of the memory but at the way Cairngorm hears the voice, actually hears it, coming from somewhere in front of him. He looks with searching eyes and the world goes quiet. Busy bodies cross the street, but there she is.

Ghost.

His sister, his beloved sister, is standing in the middle of the road, waving, smiling at him as people walk by. His expression hardens in pain. She looks so happy, so tangible- it's just a hallucination.

She gestures for him to follow. But he's frozen in place, trying to decide if he has lost his sanity or if this entire day has been one prolonged nightmare in disguise. A million thoughts race in his mind – or rather- it's just the one that he can't silence. This isn't real, this isn't real, this…

Come, little one.

Ghost cocks her head, confused at the lack of response from Cairngorm, and her eyes soften with melancholy. She gives one last, sad wave before turning and walking away.

Despite his hardest, despite the damned resolve he has been building over the past months, he can't stop the rush of energy from taking over. Cairngorm breaks as he sprints forward.

He lets go of Shiro's leash and simply screams at his leg to move. He must catch up to her, he must stop her from disappearing again. He pushes bodies out of his way or recoils when he bumps into one. His heart is racing so fast that he doesn't register the terrified screams around him. People suddenly run away in a hectic pattern before the sound of screeching tires shoots right through him.

Ghost, don't go! Wait!

He's so close; his outstretched hand is inching closer and closer to the fabric of her shirt-

"Hey, get back! Stop!"

So close that he can almost-

A hard, breath stopping shove brings him back to the street, and he has to blink a couple of times to comprehend the flash of bluish-green hair before him. The girls face is pained as well, but this time it's from worry and something else. Something he can't quite pinpoint but doesn't get the chance to search for.

Because as quickly as the scene unfolded, it ends. Cairngorm falls hard on his back before hearing the terrifying, bloodcurdling sound of bones breaking. The screeching car speeds past him in a red blur, big and heavy, so unlike the light and fragile thud that falls a few feet away from his petrified form.

At first his vision is clouded by the grey exhaust left behind. His chest still aches from the push and he has to take several deep breaths before his lungs feel like they're actually expanding. But the attempt backfires, with the grime and dirt flying around causing him to cough it all out. The world slowly comes back into view as the veil around him dissipates; his eyes adjust, and he starts to see red.

There's blood, so much blood. He looks at the dark puddle at his feet. Too much blood. Cairngorm looks down at his clothes and they're stained crimson as well. Only after the enraged car disappears in the distance and the screams pound in his ears does he catch the object slumped on the far left; he doesn't need much time to recognize what it is. His muscles come alive with adrenaline, but his legs turn soft when he attempts to stand, so he half-crawls, half-staggers to the bleeding body.

He's shaking, and his body feels cold and numb; the closer he gets to the mangled heap on the floor the harder it is to breathe. When he gets to the girl -the foolish, foolish girl- Cairngorm reaches forward with both hands but hesitates.

Part of a femur is protruding through broken flesh, and thick blood is oozing out of her forehead and ears. It stains that beautiful green hair and gathers on the concrete. People are closing in, curious and useless, all of them. Cairngorm instinctively hunches forward to cover her, sliding the jacket off his shoulders with quick ease and wrapping it around her. He carefully turns her body so she is facing him. He hugs the girl close, holding her head with a gentle hand; she's so limp and light, it's like holding a doll. He whispers small, reassuring words that will probably mean nothing.

"Hey, it's alright. It's going to be alright." No, it won't.

"Help is on the way." You're going to die here.

"No, keep still." God, please, don't make me go through this again.

Half-lidded eyes shift up to look at him, empty and devoid of any warmth. She opens her mouth to speak but only a broken, gurgling sound makes it through. She's drowning in her own blood. An ambulance wails in the distance as Cairngorm attempts in vain to get her to listen. Why won't she just listen? "Shhh, don't ta-"

"Gugh…ha, a-"

"Dammit, I told you not t-"

"An…tar-"

He frowns at the syllables. A name? But before she finishes the word, her eyes turn cold, so cold.

Cairngorms hands shake in his lap. The paramedics ask question after question, but he simply looks down at the cheerful Shiro in his hands, that beautiful white coat stained with the blood from his fingers. He blinks absentmindedly, pressing a clenched hand to his temple; a horrible headache is raging in his head at the memories of just a few moments past.

The body goes limp, unresponsive to his calls. His heart sinks. "Hey, hey! Look, they're coming. Common, wake up!"

Nothing.

Dread claws at his chest, desperation widens his eyes; people are getting closer, but he yells at them to back away. There's a bite to his voice that he hasn't heard in a long time, and the fact that Ghost was the last one to hear it just fuels the fire even more. "I said back the fuck off!"

Cairngorm hears the sirens wailing closer with each passing second, and he's never been happier to receive the awful sound. The thumping of boots and wheels gathers around him, and when she's taken from him, Cairngorm feels a loss. The paramedics waste no time, one forcefully tries to make the girls heart beat again while the others get her into the ambulance. He's asked if she's his next of kin or friend, to which he shakes his head. He barely has time to stand on wobbly legs before they're gone, before she's gone.

His voice is low, weak when he asks where she was taken. The man just shines a light in his eyes and makes an approving noise at the way Cairngorm's pupil shrinks reflexively. "Bloody hell!"

The flashlight goes flying off with the sharp sound of a smack, and this time he asks more forcefully, "Where did they take her to?" The man sighs and utters a simple phrase.

But once at the hospital, Cairngorm feels even more useless. The nurses refuse to answer his questions or ignore him completely; others threaten to call security because Shiro is a "danger to the hospital." He feels like grabbing the nurse by the collar and throwing her at the vending machines. But now was not the time for an outburst, however justified.

After sneaking past security and cornering a doctor passing by, Cairngorm tries again to get any answer, unsuccesfully. She's in surgery, he's told. But he pleads to get a name, at least, something to let him find her. He's denied again and again, until he has no choice but to let go of the scrub he's been fisting, slowly accepting defeat. There's nothing he can do. Not with security escorting him out.

Cairngorm shuffles into his apartment, shoulders slumped and tired, before throwing the keys somewhere to his right. He serves Shiro's meal before cleaning his hands in the kitchen sink; the water is dirty and dark as it slips past his trembling fingers. He gives his face the same treatment and lets the cold droplets slide down his cheeks into the dishes below. There's only the sound of Shiro's eating and the rhythmic drip of water to fill the small place. In just a matter of seconds his whole world could've changed, ripped apart. And yet, he's still here, as if nothing ever happened. He gets to live another day, and it doesn't feel right.

Cairngorm tiredly makes his way to his room and, for some reason, doesn't feel like sleeping in his bed. His legs give out at the edge of the frame and with one drawn out tug he brings the sheets over him.

Cairngorm curls in his spot and slowly closes his eyes, praying that he doesn't dream of anything tonight.