There are two Akashis to begin with…
"Seijuro…"
I called him…my voice shaking.
He stopped. Finally…he snapped out.
I ran unto him.
His eyes dilated on the picture before him. A splash of red. Chaos. Defeat. Devastation.
He was devastated…scared…and as surprised as I were.
My body felt so heavy, as if it's warning me to stay away. But I fought back. He needs me…
"I…"
I rapidly held him, embraced him in my arms. Every part of his body was shaking…I wanted it to stop.
"It's okay Sei-chan…you're okay…we're okay… it's okay…"
I repeated and kept on repeating as I held tighter onto him. Slowly, he clung on to my arms…and gripped it.
Tighter…
He squeezed my arm so tight that I couldn't almost feel it.
There were heartbeats in his touch…
And they were as loud as mine.
"Wha-?-Sei-chan! Haru-chan!"
And as I saw my big brother running unto us…I finally gave in…and cried.
I remember it very well…the last night I stayed at Akashi-kun's house.
I couldn't sleep.
It's not because the sky is not dim enough, or loud…
But because every time I close my eyes, everything is starting to replay as if it's happening again.
And I couldn't take it off my mind…the way he looked…the way he grabbed a rock and stamped it again and again towards that stranger…
…the stranger who claimed to be his father…
I moved. Rolled one side to the other side, placed my head up then down, closed my eyes, then opened it. After a few more minutes, I finally decided to just stand up. It's going nowhere anyway…
And I was thirsty.
Shiori Akashi, Sei-chan's mother, was my mother's childhood friend. She was the one who asked me and my brother to always stay there for the summer. To be honest, that time I was really looking forward for our trip to Hokkaido. But our mother talked us into it. I didn't really mind going back to Tokyo. After all, Sei-chan's mother is very kind and generous.
HIT!
I stopped as I heard a sound and saw a shadow rapidly hit the other's shadow upon the faint light of the living room.
Immediately, I hid.
"What were you thinking?! I told you to cut ties with those people. Now look what happened. You didn't listen to me!"
It felt weird. The words weren't loud yet it petrified me more than any other.
I heard a woman whimper. Was it Mrs. Akashi? At that time, I wasn't sure. I wanted to peek into the open door but I couldn't. I was a kid. What could a kid do?
"It's just that…Seijuro… I just thought that… maybe he would stop feeling lonely if-"
"If what?! If his father comes to visit him?!"
"-NO! It's not that! I didn't plan for him to come at all! I told him to stay away! I-I…"
I took a step back…was it true then? Is what the stranger told us about earlier, true?
BUMP
I stopped as I felt a faint presence behind my back. I quietly turned around, ready to lecture whoever it was, then I realized it was him.
…Seijuro Akashi.
The first time I saw him. He was wearing a faint smile on his face.
Faint, but sweet and innocent.
His eyes were red and bright and it was full of life.
But right now…I see nothing.
Not sweet, not innocence, not even hate or sadness…
Nothing.
"You're not supposed to eavesdrop on older people's conversations."
Usually, when he reprimands, it gives me the feeling of being inferior to him. Inferiority that gives me itch and sets me off. He was annoying that way. But I couldn't bring myself to hate him. No. Because every time he reprimands me, I can't help but see the kindness and concern reflecting in his eyes. It just makes me look away and grunt. That's the child that I was.
But that night, I couldn't look away or grunt. I couldn't even talk back. I could only do one thing…
Shiver.
It felt cold. So cold that I could feel ice on my face, as if my body is slowly becoming light.
It was summer and it hasn't even rained, but it all felt like the seasons has changed.
He has changed.
I couldn't see him.
It wasn't even him at all.
"Seijuro…" I struggled to speak. I called his name, thinking that if I did maybe he'll come back, just like last time.
But he wasn't responding. There was nothing from him but silence, and this just aggravated the echoes of his father's angst and his mother's cry.
I pushed myself to move to embrace him.
He was gone.
It felt like he was gone.
But I couldn't let it. I don't want to. I want him back.
"Seijuro I'm here…I'm still here!" I whimpered as I cling unto his shirt.
"Seijuro I promise I won't leave you. I promise. So come back, please? Don't leave me!" I kept on calling.
It was a long cry, and I thought I had lost all hope…
…until I felt something gentle and warm upon my head.
Immediately I looked back.
"Don't cry…"
He muttered as he gently rustled my hair.
His eyes weren't looking back in mine and his smile was nowhere to be seen. But his voice…there's kindness into it.
"Sei-chan…"
He stayed like that for a moment but when he moved, he finally looked back with a faint sad smile.
From my head, he moved his arms down to grab my hand.
"It's late. Let's go back to sleep…Haru-chan."
His hand was warm, his grip was gentle. He was pulling me, guiding me back to my room. But I don't want to go. I don't want to let him go. Because at that time I was scared. I was scared that if I did let go, I might not be able to see him again.
"We're here, Haru-chan."
I felt his grip loosen and so rapidly, I held it back tightly with both of my hands. It was summer but I was shivering. I was cold and I craved for his warmth.
"Haru-chan…"
I couldn't let him go. I couldn't stop myself from crying and I couldn't even let a single word out to justify why. There were a lot of things I didn't understood that night but there's one that was clear. I don't want him to leave.
"Haruna…you're still here...right?"
I looked up at that sudden question. There was pain and suffering in his eyes, but there's still warmth in it. His voice was cracking but he's remaining strong.
I pushed a smile. If there's anything else I'd hope for it is that my smile could alleviate his suffering…for it felt like there is nothing else I can do, but to smile.
"Yes." I answered him. "I wouldn't leave you…I wouldn't…so don't leave me okay?"
It took a minute, but he nodded.
"Goodnight, Haruna."
That night, I didn't want to let him go. I don't want to...for it felt like if I let go, I would lose him again…
…And I was right.
"Get up, Haruna…"
"Uh…onii-san?" My eyes weren't even ready for the light so it took me awhile to open my eyes. My brother, on the other hand, seems to be pacing quickly.
"Get up, quick!" He more of shouted as he tried to shake me.
Normally, I would be mad and try to kick him back. But there's something with the way my brother said it that I opened my eyes and stood up.
"W-why?"
At first I was just curious, but seeing the pale face of my brother, I can't help but be concerned.
He stopped.
"Mother…"
.
Early morning of that August, I heard of the news: My mother had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital. I had nothing in my mind that time but the thought of my mother losing life. I was almost pale in disbelief. To be honest, if it weren't for my brother panicking, I wouldn't believe it to be true. Immediately, I packed my things and went unto Sei-chan's room to say goodbye.
I knocked on his door three times. But having nothing as a response, I simply slipped a letter upon his door. As much as I would want to, I couldn't afford to wait for him to wake up. My mom needs me…
"Haru-chan?"
I stopped and looked back to find Mrs. Akashi awake. Although we have already told the head maid to tell the masters, in courtesy, I took the time to tell Mrs. Akashi of the reason why we're leaving.
"Oh my…I hope it's not as bad as it sounds to be." She expressed in grief. Certainly, she too, was devastated.
"I hope so too…" I expressed almost lost in thought. But before I lost it and cry, I hurriedly stood up in front of Mrs. Akashi and bowed. "Thank you for taking care of us Mrs. Akashi! You've been very kind to my brother and I. I promise we'll contact you as soon as Mom's current condition has been identified. Again, thank you so much." I bid and was about to turn around when she held my hand and called my name.
"Haru-chan!"
I turned back and realized that Mrs. Akashi just commanded the head maid to pack some food in a bag for us to bring.
"Here. And please, take care of your mother for me." She bid in loving concern as she reached the bag. To that, I bowed and finally bid goodbye.
I didn't really give much thought of leaving the Akashi's mansion, or of leaving Sei-chan without personally saying goodbye. I was so worried for my mom…
…little did I know, that it wasn't my mom whom I'm never going to see again…
"Ca-Canada?!" I blurted out almost all of the food in my mouth in surprise and disbelief of what I heard from my father.
"Ah~ Haruna! You just sprayed rice at my uniform!" My brother angrily complained as he grabbed a napkin and tried to get each rice one by one.
"B-bu—but…how about our school?!"
"School? By next month the school year ends. Kazu's graduating his elementary and you, you'll start your 5th year in Canada. Your grandfather in Canada already processed the papers for you. Everything's been set."
I couldn't even move after hearing my father's explanation. It's not that I didn't understand it, it's just that, it was all too sudden. I didn't even realize it.
.
The news was so sudden that it had me thinking even on the way to school. I wasn't ready for a change. More of, I couldn't even think everything would change this sudden.
"You didn't realize it Haru-chan? How come? I didn't ask for our transcripts for nothing, didn't I?"
I stopped after hearing my brother's answer. "Is…is that what it is?"
My brother casually turned. "Yeah, it is! I thought you picked it up on that, but I guess you didn't…"
Coz I thought…we're going to transfer to Tokyo...
I wanted to blurt that out.
But I couldn't.
"I see…"
That's all I managed to say.
"Then…this summer…"
My brother's attention went back at me. "Hmm? Yeah, we're gonna spend it in Canada."
I stopped walking.
I see…
"I know what you're thinking… April, May, June, July…yep, we have a lot of months doing nothing, yeah it'll be boring…but hey, better that than a fast paced arrival isn't it? Besides, more time to learn English ne?"
Seeing my brother's complacent face, I can't help but smile. "Yeah…you're right."
But the fact is, that wasn't really what I was thinking at all. I wasn't worrying at all about doing nothing, or fitting in, or even learning how to speak English. I can speak English fluently, I was trained by my grandfather and my mother ever since I was young. Fitting in was never really in the list of my worries, and doing nothing is the last of my troubles. It's not what I'll face in Canada that I am worried about…
…it's about what I would leave here, when I leave Japan…
My friends, my teachers, my neighbors, our house…practically the life I am living now…
And him…
…Seijuro Akashi…
Ever since that incident with my mother…I never once heard anything from him.
How was he now?
Is he still constantly training one skill after another?
His ego, his superiority, his innocence, kindness…and his gentle heart…were they still intact?
Are those the things that still make him…him?
Sometimes, I couldn't help but recall the last time I've been with him.
I can't help but worry.
I don't want to see those cold eyes of his again.
I don't want him to lose those warmth in his eyes…
.
"Mom…"
The day of my brother's graduation was the day we started packing up our things. In three days, we'll be leaving Japan…and for almost three days now, I can't get enough sleep.
Those nights kept on repeating onto my dreams, as if haunting me.
That night, I went unto my parent's room. My dad was outside busy with the preparations so it was only my mom who was present.
"What's bothering you, dear?" She asked me with that gentle smile of hers.
I held onto my mom tightly. I know that we need to go to Canada for my mom's health. I know it. I'm prepared for it…but it's just that…I can't help seeing his hurt face, over and over…
"W-what will happen…to…Sei-chan?" I struggled to let the words out and hurriedly looked for my mom's eyes in response.
She was surprised at first, but he gave back one very assuring smile. "He'll be fine…despite Masaomi-kun's strict upbringing, he's still got Shiori to support his back." She answered me quite complacently.
"And as long as that kid can find happiness in playing basketball, he'll be okay…" She added with a faint smile.
I knew of Sei-chan's love for basketball…that's the thing that got him and Kazu jive at the first place. And I know that he has his mom in his back…but I can't help but feel uneasy. It felt as if those things, will not be enough…
In the midst of my thinking, I felt a hand brush upon my hair. I looked up to find my mom's gentle smile.
"He'll be fine Haruna…" She assured me.
And those words were what I held onto as I leave Japan and live in Canada.
I came home late but I was happy that time. I just got the lead role in our musical and I couldn't wait to tell my mom about it.
But the minute I got home…I cursed myself for being happy.
My mom was crying by the phone and my father was beside her, holding her hand, and rubbing her back for comfort. I was confused and shocked at the same time. It's been years since I last saw my mom cry.
And my dad…it's been long since I saw his face like that…with hopelessness…sadness…lost…
I just stood there frozen at the doorway of our house up until I felt a hand land upon my shoulder.
I looked to my right.
It was my brother.
That day, I learned about Mrs. Shiori Akashi's death.
She died on the 4th of December…but she's been ill since summer.
"We'll try to go to the funeral this Friday. Dad, already got the tickets. We'll stay there for three days and…"
My brother was the one who was filling me up with everything, but to be honest, besides those small detail, nothing else followed through my mind.
Nothing else…but the sad face of Sei-chan…
That night, I have dreamt about it once again…it was so real that the minute I opened my eyes, I couldn't bear to close it.
I went out of my room and was about to go to the kitchen, when I noticed the light upon the living room.
"Haru...na…?" My mother took notice, her voice seemed exhausted. She was in front of her laptop and in a middle of stacks of papers.
"Mom…you're still awake?" I asked, rubbing my eyes from the light.
"Yeah, I still need to finish this part of the project before we leave on Friday…which I guess is tomorrow?"
To her statement, I looked upon the clock. 2:24 am. Oh, so it's this late already. "I see…" That's all I managed to say.
She looked from one paper to the other, then finally looked back to smile at me. "You should go back to sleep dear." She suggested.
"You too…" I answered yawning, as I moved back to my room.
As I went back to my bed, I thought I had forgotten all about it…
But the minute I closed my eyes, it suddenly came back…
"Haruna…you're still here...right?"
I opened my eyes at once and rushed unto the living room where my mother is, and just held on to her tightly.
"Haruna?!"
I wasn't sure if she was startled or surprised. My visions fogged up as tears started to fall unto my eyes. Yet despite the tears, I can't help but see it. It plays before my eyes over and over again. No matter how hard I try, guilt is consuming me.
"I promised Sei-chan, mom…" I held tighter. "I promised him I won't leave…yet…" I struggled to continue as my voice cracks up.
My face started to get wet. It replays before my eyes and it's eating me. I told him I'll be there for him…I told him I won't leave him…but I wasn't there…I left. I was here…I am here…
Suddenly, I felt warm hands hold my back…embraced me. It was gentle, kind, comforting… that it calmed me at once.
"Haruna…"
I looked up and beneath the fog, I saw my mom's melancholic smile.
"You're not the only one who has ever broken a promise." She held on to me tightly. But suddenly, it started to loosen up.
"Mom…?" I called.
"Ha…Haru…na…" She struggled to breathe.
…and then, out of a sudden, she just fell down to the ground.
"MOOOOOOOM!"
That night, my mom was sent unto the hospital for having another attack. The doctor advised a week of admission for observation and series of test.
Three weeks after, my mom was scheduled for operation.
After that, I spent the next three months in school and in taking care of my mom.
We were not able to go to the funeral…
And I was not able to be with him…
I…have broken our promise…completely.
The first time our family visited Japan, he's the first one I sought after…and I saw him…in Teiko Middle School…
It was a basketball competition, and he was playing basketball with everyone. He wasn't the captain then…but… he was happy.
He didn't see me… I didn't had the guts to show myself to him. Besides, seeing the warmth in his eyes were good enough…
…I thought it was…
Two years after that visit… we came back to attend my aunt's wedding. I was excited and it's not even because of the wedding. I wanted to see him. I can't wait to see how he was then. His name was so loud in the Japanese basketball community that even Kazu was able to grasp firmly about it.
…The story of the ever popular Teiko's Generation of Miracles, and their team Captain, Seijuro Akashi…
With my brother's help, I was able to break free from the wedding just in time. With my hair intact and my face in full make-up, within my white, illusion cut, tea-length, chiffon dress and 2'' high heels, I took the subway and rushed towards the stadium. I didn't even thought about what other people would think of me that time. My blood was rushing through my veins, I was too excited. I want to witness his team get their third consecutive win. I wanted to see his team fight...
…what I saw overwhelmed me…
For the first time in my life, I saw a win of no victory…
There is nothing but defeat…lost…
And for the first time, since five years…I saw it…
His eyes…
His cold demonic eyes…
It wasn't him…
It wasn't him at all…
Just what happened in those two years?
What made him switch back?
"And as long as that kid can find happiness in playing basketball, he'll be okay…"
Oh…
I see…
So he wasn't happy anymore…
"Oh there they are! Teiko's Generation of Miracles!"
I heard a woman scream from my right, and the minute I looked back I saw them…I saw him…
"It's good isn't it Aominecchi? We get to reach our goal in the end."
"Heh…it wasn't even that exciting…"
"If Murasakibara wasn't there, we wouldn't even get to achieve it at the first place…n'dayo"
"Eh? But I just did what Minechin asked me to. Uh, Akachin can I go to arcades after this…?"
"Not yet Atsushi, we'll still have a meeting after the interview."
"Oh…"
I stood there in close proximities to them. I looked him in the eye as he passed by.
I was so close…I know I was in his view…there's no way he couldn't see me.
I showed myself to him…
But he didn't see me…not at all…
I tried to call him…but for the first time, my voice got lost.
No…it wasn't my voice…
…it was my resolve that was lost.
It was too late for me…
I couldn't bring myself to call him…
I couldn't save him…
Not anymore…
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DISCLAIMER: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke.
AN: The only thing I own here is Haruna and her family.
Thank You for reading this. Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
Please do review...tell me what you liked in the story, or what you want TO SEE in the story...or PM me...if you have any idea you want to infuse to the story. Everything is greatly appreciated.
Chapter 2 is up. Enjoy!
Once again. THANK YOU. :)