The Doctor was in one of his moods.
His crazy, wacky, be an imp, and tease his companion for shits and giggles mood.
Why was he in such a mood?
Because he had just purchased an invisibility cloak from a bazaar on Dulsara Major, and he was just itching to try it out. So, what better person to try it out on than Rose Tyler?
Ah, he loved these moments. These moments of complete craziness and fun that were much needed breaks from the serious job of saving the universe. This Doctor loved to be a prankster, which took Rose a long time to get used to since his last incarnation was anything but. He admitted the whole idea of an invisibility cloak was very Harry Potterish and unbecoming of a representative of one of the most noble and ancient races in the universe, but damn it, he just couldn't resist the chance to turn invisible and play pinchie butt with Rose Tyler. Those round, firm butt cheeks of hers were like a siren calling out to his twitchy fingers, just beckoning them to come and squeeze them like an overripe melon.
So, in the privacy of his room, he donned the invisibility cloak, checked that no part of him was visible and with a hyena-like laugh, slid out the door and roamed the hallways for his companion slash victim.
He found her in the bathroom combing her hair. The door was open, so he had no trouble slipping inside and getting behind her. He used his respiratory bypass system to quiet his breathing and stood there for a moment watching, as his companion methodically brushed her hair one hundred times following the directions of some trashy women's magazine that she loved to read.
He stood there a moment savoring the anticipation of irritating his Rose to the point of distraction and then finally, when he couldn't stand it any longer, he reached out through the cloak, seized her ample butt cheek and gave it a firm pinch. He bit his lip holding his laughter in, as he watched Rose stop mid brush and frown. She glanced around at her butt, and the Doctor could tell she was wondering if someone just pinched her ass or was it her imagination. Apparently deciding it was her imagination, she turned her head back around and resumed brushing. The Doctor held off for a moment letting her get back into the rhythm she had going and then he reached out again and gave her butt another squeeze.
He clamped his hand over his mouth while he watched Rose look around in utter confusion wondering what was happening to her. She looked right at his face, but unable to see anything except air turned back around and picked up the brush again. The Doctor watched, bored, as she continued her brushing regimen. He wondered about women and their need to brush their hair so much. He just ran a comb through his hair a few times in the morning and it was perfectly fine. In fact, he thought he looked damn sexy with his hair all askew. But, Rose was like most humans, if a magazine told her to do something, then by Rassilon, she did it even if it made no sense to him whatsoever. Then again, if brushing one hundred times distracted her long enough for him to stand here and play pinchie butt, then who was he to complain?
He waited another minute or two and then he reached out and pinched her again. This time, he was barely able to hold in his laughter when she threw her brush down on the counter and spun around. He watched, amused, as she ran her hand over her butt for some unknown reason. He guessed that maybe she was thinking some kind of insect was biting her, but that was just his theory. He watched as she stomped out the open door looking up and down the hall for the butt cheek assailant, and he took the opportunity to pick up her brush, carry it over to the toilet seat, and lay it there. He walked back to his place and put his hands in his pockets as Rose came back in and froze. He smirked, staring at the bewildered look on her face when she saw where her brush was. She walked over to the toilet and stood in front of it just staring down quietly at her brush, as if she couldn't believe it had somehow ended up there. From the way she was staring at it, the Doctor wondered if maybe she thought it had sprouted legs and walked over and if she waited long enough it would do it again and walk back.
Finally, she picked up her brush, walked back to the mirror and began to brush again. The Doctor rolled his eyes wondering if she was actually keeping track of the number of brush strokes, or was she starting over each time she was interrupted? He stifled a yawn thinking that this was one of the most boring things he had seen in his life and he had seen tons of boring things over the course of ten lives. No wonder the girl agreed to travel with him, the parts in her life where he wasn't directly involved were very dull indeed.
He grinned when Rose moved a bit to the right exposing her right breast. He grinned as he reached out and gave her nipple a tweak. He jerked his hand away, as Rose let out a yell and dropped the brush again. She stood there looking at herself in the mirror and running her hand over her breast while the Doctor watched admiringly.
Then, Rose's eyes darkened, and she let out an angry sigh as she turned around. She stood there looking at his spot and then suddenly she thrust her hand out and began to feel around. The Doctor dodged her hand trying to keep from being caught. He started backing towards the bathtub when Rose started walking that way, her hand thrust outwards and a murderous look on her face. The Doctor looked around her towards the open door. He made a quick distance calculation and seeing his chance, darted around her. However, he moved too fast, tripped over his own feet and ended up sprawled on the floor. He glanced down and noticed that the cloak was still on him up to his calves and Rose was standing there staring intently at his feet. He quickly drew his legs up, pulling his feet in like an invisible turtle.
Rose sighed and reached down. She found the end of the cloak and threw it off the Doctor, who was lying there in a fetal position. Leaning back up, she stood with her hands on her hips, as the Doctor gave her a big toothy grin.
"Um, mornin' Rose," he said. "I bet you're wondering what just happened. Well, it turns out I got an invisibility cloak when we went to that bazaar on Dulsara Major and---"
He didn't get to finish his sentence because he ended up spending the rest of the morning running for his life through the TARDIS while Rose pounded his head with the back of her brush.
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(Some time later…)
"I can't wait to see Jack again!" Rose said excitedly.
"I can't either. It'll be nice to see him."
"I'll be right back. If we're going on a walk, I'll need to get my jacket," Rose said.
The Doctor watched as she ran out of the console room. He waited until she was gone and then looking under the captain's chair, checked to make sure the invisibility cloak was there. It was, and the Doctor quickly leaned back up, snickering softly to himself.
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"Rose!" Jack said hugging her tightly. "It's great to see you again! Welcome back to the Hub!"
"Mmmm, thanks Jack, it's great to see you too," Rose said returning the hug.
Jack looked past her into the open door of the TARDIS.
"So, where's the Doc?" he asked.
Rose stared at him and then turned to look in the TARDIS.
"Doctor?" she said sticking her head inside the ship.
She frowned when she didn't see anyone.
"That's strange; I thought he was right behind me," she said.
Jack shrugged.
"Probably forgot something, he'll be out in a minute I'm sure," he said. "In the meantime, make yourself at home and I'll fix you guys some tea."
Rose nodded and went to find the rest of the team while Jack headed towards the kitchen.
Halfway there, he suddenly stopped and looked behind him. Did someone just pinch his ass? He looked around and saw no one nearby. Deciding it was just his imagination, he walked on towards the kitchen. He walked a few more feet and then he stopped. There it was again, that pinch on his butt. He stared at his butt for a moment, rubbed it, and then stared at it for a moment more. Shaking his head, he turned his head and started to take a step. At that moment, he felt someone grab the waistband of his trousers. Before he could figure out what was going on, his eyes bulged out of his head as he felt someone grab his knickers and give him a wedgie. He let out a startled yell, as his underwear jerked up into his butt crack. He then spent the next two minutes doing a funny little dance trying to get the letter out of his mailbox while he screamed curses at the Doctor who ran off the other way laughing insanely.
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(Some time after that…)
The Master laughed an evil laugh, as Rose struggled to break free of the manacles that held her arms above her head.
"At last, I have the Doctor's little pet in my power! And now, my dear, you will be bait to lure the Doctor into my trap and…"
The Master paused. He looked behind him. Did someone just pinch his ass? He looked around, but the only person in the room with him was Rose and her hands were shackled above her head. Deciding it was just his imagination, he turned his attention back to his captive.
"As I was saying, once the Doctor is dead, you will be my mindless slave forev…"
The Master sighed angrily as he looked back at his butt. There it was again. Was an insect biting him? He rubbed his ass for a few minutes in case something was down there biting him, then he turned his attention back to Rose who now had a huge knowing grin on her face. The Master stared at the grin wondering what it meant. He mentally shrugged. It didn't matter, soon the grin would be wiped off her face forever. She was just a stupid ape and…
The Master's eyes widened when he felt someone grab the waistband of his trousers. He turned his head around just in time to see a huge bucket of ice being poured down his pants. He let out a shriek and ran around the room, ice cubes spilling out his trouser legs, as the Doctor bought his arm out from under the invisibility cloak, used his sonic screwdriver to free Rose, and then pulled her back under the cloak with him. As the Master hopped around trying to get the ice out of his britches, they stood and watched giggling as the Master screamed curses in Gallifreyan and English, and slipped on the ice-covered floor. They waited until he had calmed down, and then the Doctor and Rose snuck up behind them and as one, rammed their fists down on his head knocking him out. They took off the cloak, grabbed his legs, and pulled him back towards the TARDIS so he could be imprisoned.
"You know, Doctor, I think you finally found a use for this cloak of yours," Rose said to him as they walked out of the room.
THE END.