Greetings fellow Redwall lovers! ^_^ Hope you like this little piece of humor that I concocted!
Daisy Chains by AnimegirlH
Summary: Remember in Redwall when Matthias shouts, "I'll probably sit around on the common here and teach the rats to make daisy chains." Well, this is the brainchild of that. Warning: mildly disturbing, and mild spoiler.
The bright summer sun shone down upon the field. It was a beautiful day, as some of the native birds proclaimed, singing their happy songs.
A wild thrush flew over the field, taking refuge in one of the nearby trees, resting his wings. He turned his head to the center of the common, seeing a mouse in the novice habit of Redwall surrounded by a dozen rag-tag rats. The thrush turned his head; it was really none of his concern. But nonetheless, he quickly looked back, and did a double take. The young mouse was surrounded, but all of the creatures were sitting down in a circle. The thrush squinted his eyes. And they were…making daisy chains?!
Sure enough, Matthias, future warrior of Redwall, was teaching the dozen rats of Cluny's horde to make daisy chains. He held up a complete flower circlet.
"And that's how you make a daisy chain!" he declared, placing the flowery crown upon his head. "Go ahead! Try it!" he urged the reluctant rats. They all looked questioningly at the small piles of daisies placed in front of them. They looked at each other…and shrugged…and started to make daisy chains of their own.
Matthias watched them, carefully checking their progress. One of the rats timidly raised his paw into the air, starring confusedly at the flowers in his other paw.
"Yes?" Matthias asked, coming over.
"Am I doing this right?" the rat asked, demonstrating to Matthias how he was creating his flower circlet. Matthias observed carefully.
"Not bad," he commented. "But you'll want to pull a bit tighter here," he said, pointing to a loose area of the chain, "or it will fall apart. But you're doing a good job!"
In a couple minutes each rat had finished making his own chain.
All of a sudden, Cluny marched up, glaring angrily at them.
"What in Satan's name are you dimwits doing?!" he yelled.
"We're makin' daisy chains, Chief!" one of the rats proclaimed, smiling hugely. Cluny's eye twitched.
"You're…what?!" he asked calmly, trying to control his temper.
"Makin' daisy chains!" another rat spoke up. "Here! You can have one!" he said, placing a circlet on top of Cluny's head.
The rat warlord stood stock still for a moment, before dissolving into hysterical giggling.
"I feel pretty!" he said in a high-pitched voice. He then proceeded to skip around the field in a girlish fashion. The rats got up and began skipping after him, Matthias looking on in confusion as all of the rats were suddenly clothed in pink, frilly, dresses. Cluny began singing.
"I feel pretty! And witty! And-"
Matthias's eyes shot open and he sat up in bed quickly, his breathing harsh. He felt sick to his stomach.
"Ugh…That was disturbing…" he moaned, bringing his clasped paw up to his forehead. He stopped midway however, noticing that there was something in it. He slowly uncurled his paw and barely suppressed a scream.
There, although it was crumpled up, was an unmistakable daisy chain…
*…Deeply disturbing…Okay, maybe not deeply disturbing, but it was somewhat! You can't deny that! So, how did you like it? Did you think it was the worst thing you ever read? Was it okay? Did you laugh at it? Let me know in a review! ^_^ Ciao for now!