A/N: This is something I've been dabbling with in the Davy Jones communities (LOL). Reason being - he'll be playing a major part later on in the story, though it primarily focuses on Jack.

This is right down the alley of what I used to write - 'what-ifs' in bizarre AU scenarios, yet they're certainly not comedies (discounting the antics of certain main characters). This one is a crossover, technically, as it uses Tekken storyline elements and a few characters to make it all gel together. You'll see what I mean.

This is a weird one. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: I make NOTHING from this folly, and I certainly don't own PotC or Tekken; Disney and Namco do, respectively.

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Blackness.

Darkness, coldness, blackness.

These were the only elements of awareness he had; the sheer darkness of his surroundings and their biting, sterile cold.

Slowly, bit by bit, his faculties returned to him and he was able to slowly, cautiously twitch his fingers and toes. It was at that point that the most obvious questions began to plague his mind with curiosity; as sensation returned to his body, the curiosity quickly mutated into frustration, then panic. What was going on? Where was he? And how the hell did he manage to get himself into yet another snag?

His eyes finally allowed themselves to be pried open; searing white light was what he got for his troubles, and with a somewhat pained groan he quickly shut them again. What, was he dead? That had to be the most intensely white light he'd ever had the misfortune of being blinded by.

As consciousness continued to return to him, be quickly became aware of people nearby. There were soft footsteps echoing about the place, like boots on a marble floor. There were hollow clatters unlike anything he had ever heard before; perhaps the closest thing he could liken it to was an army of large crabs scuttling across that marble floor in a cathedral, right next to his face.

Ew.

Despite his roaring, groggy head, he pushed himself up into a sitting position and dared to inch his eyelids open once more. It was still insanely bright, but the second time around it seemed somewhat more tolerable.

It was at this point that he realised he was sitting beneath one of the smoothest, cleanest sheets he had ever seen - stark naked of course, he noted. Great...what had he gotten himself into this time?

Fighting back the dizzy spell, he forced himself to drink in his surroundings visually. Frankly, he'd prefer to be drinking in a good bottle of rum.

Boy was that a mistake...he found himself staring out at a crowd of at least ten people; they were significantly smaller than him, blatantly of Asian descent and were all dressed in obnoxiously white coats. Though being surrounded by a throng of Asians reminded him of Singapore, the sheer whiteness of everything around him brought him to the assumption that he was nowhere near the Singapore he knew.

"Fantastic! You are finally awake." One of the men before him stepped forward, beaming with apparent pride. "Tell me. Do you know who you are?"

Silly question. And silly accent...somewhat different to the Singaporean accents, and equally as hard to understand.

"Why, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Now, do tell me...where in blazes am I?"

The group nodded amongst themselves in approval, clearly impressed. The man who had addressed him before grinned widely. "Mr Sparrow...welcome to Japan. It is an honour to have you amongst us."

Jack raised a brow, then reached to scratch his chin. What...no beard...nothing but a little bit of boyish scruff! What the...

Anyway.

"Now that's all fine and dandy, but frankly I want to be back on my ship, with my crew. Not stuck in here in this...place of extreme light." Squinting, he flicked his legs to the side - ready to hit the floor and march his way out of here, when he remembered his distinct lack of clothing as the sheets brushed against his body in a very, very intimate manner. He settled with dangling his feet over the edge of the bed with the sheets still draped over his nether regions. "Uh...how about this. You release me from here, let me find something to wear, and you will never have to worry about seeing Jack Sparrow again. Savvy?"

His audience seemed confused.

"But Mr Sparrow, we do want to see you! We-"

He cut him off before he could continue. "Why. Why do you want to see me? I'm of no interest to you, I'm just a sea captain. I want me ship. And..." he fidgeted with the sheets. "...I want me clothes."

"Oh..." Confusion abound, evidently. "Well...you have no clothes yet, Mr Sparrow. We-"

He cut him off again. "What do you mean? I had a pair of boots, a belt, a coat, a shirt...the whole lot. And a very nice hat. Where's my hat?" Impatience had begun to rise in his voice.

"And speaking of me personal effects...where's my hair?" It had become quickly obvious to him that his dreadlocks, his beads, everything...were long gone.

"Sir, may I explain?" The little Japanese man's patience was so endless it was beginning to irritate Jack.

He signed. "Go on."

"Well. My name is Nakamura Akio and I am the Genetic Research Manager here at G-Corporation." Jack's eyes quickly glazed over, and found themselves occupied examining the room he was in. "We are experts in restoring, and reconstructing bodies. Specifically, human bodies.We have recreated yours."

Jack cocked his head to the side, confusion and frustration getting the best of him. "Hold on. What happened to my body that would require any recreating or reconstructioning?"

Akio glanced at his colleagues nervously before continuing. "Mr Sparrow, you were dead. I am sorry."

Dead? What, again? Then again...it did seem like he was asleep for an absurdly long time. All he could remember after the Pearl was set upon by a fleet of vessels was an eternity of black. "How long have I been dead for, exactly?" Actually...the truth wasn't something he was sure he wanted to hear.

"Uh...almost three hundred years."

That was enough to have Jack's eyes glaze over once more. In fact, it was just a little too much for him. Thank goodness he was sitting on a bed, because with that moment, his eyes rolled back into his head as he promptly fainted.