Dedication: For Kiana. Thanks for everything, sweetie. Hope I did your idea justice.
The Sweet Smell of Revenge
In his dimly lit lair, Kamdor cackled with glee. "My plan is complete!" he yelled in utter triumph. The blue villain rubbed his hands together as he stared at the computer screen.
Miratrix sauntered in holding a framed photo of that blue ranger whose intelligence was that of a peanut. She was also clutching a very used tissue that she dabbed at her eyes with. "I'm such a terrible person!" she wailed. "Master, what have I done? I cannot live with myself!"
"Silence, you blubbering fool," Kamdor commanded. "Look at this trick I have played on the black ranger. He will never show his face in public again, and we can finally destroy the rest of the multicolored pests!"
Miratrix stopped crying for a moment. As she realized what the photo was, she cracked a weak smile. A chuckle escaped from her mouth, eventually progressing to full blown laughter. "Yes, Master, the black ranger will never show himself again! He will hide in the mansion, humiliated by what you have done."
She watched the screen happily for a moment until something else dawned on her. "But since I betrayed Dax, we will never have babies to embarrass the way Will's parents did to him. Oh, the shame!" She gazed at Dax's picture with heartache in her eyes. "I'm sorry, my love."
'Note to self: Hire new sidekick.'
--
Mr. Hartford's appearance in the Command Center was enough for Mack and Rose to stop making out. Mack glared at his father's back as Rose booted up the computer. Instead of the background being the Overdrive symbol, it was a picture of a naked dark skinned baby boy, smiling up at the camera. He was lying on a bear skin rug.
"Is that…Will?" Rose asked incredulously, staring at the photo. Mack snickered.
Will, Dax, Tyzonn, and Ronny came sliding down the poles, the look on Will's face frantic. "Not here too!" he wailed, childishly kicking the giant globe in the center of the room. "How the hell did this get out? I thought I had destroyed all of the copies."
"So it is you?" Rose asked. She noticed that Mr. Hartford was staring at the photo. Drool was collecting in one corner of his mouth. She scooted closer to Mack.
"Yes," Will admitted reluctantly. "My mom had them taken when I was a baby so she could send them to all the relatives." He looked angry now. "But I sweat I had stolen them all back over the years. I burned every last one until only the ashes were left…"
The photo of Will was covered up with the image of Kamdor. "Like my discovery, black ranger?" he taunted. "I thought I'd show the world a real inside look at one of their heroes. How am I doing?"
"The world?" Will repeated in anguish. "I thought you'd only hacked into our computer system and the Trackers! What do you mean by 'the world,' exactly?"
"I put it on…MySpace."
"MySpace?" Will echoed in utter horror. "You put that on my Myspace? But what will all my fangirls think of me?"
But none of this was heard by Kamdor, for Miratrix had broken into another crying jag. "I hate myself! I should just let the rangers destroy me! I deserve it…" She wandered into the lair's main room and saw that Kamdor was contacting the rangers. She lunged. "DAX!"
The blue ranger stopped picking his nose. "Hi, Mira," he said cheerfully. "You're still my ex, but I never forgot the loving you gave me that night. Man, that was hot…"
"Oh Daxeypoo," Miratrix sighed dreamily. "I love you! I'm sorry I had to crush your heart like a bug under my boot!" She covered the screen with kisses. "I swear we'll love each other again some night. It was hot…"
Rose winced and hid her face in Mack's chest. "Make it stop. I'm scarred for life."
"Would you get to the point, Kamdor? My girlfriend and I need to excuse ourselves here soon. Mack Jr. needs some attention."
"MySpace! It is the center of your human world. With this little gem making its rounds all over the Internet, soon your little Will here will never be able to go out again. And since he's the best fighter of your team, the rest of you will soon be defeated!"
"And our children will be Max and Dira! They shall be products of hot love and-"
"Shut up!" roared Kamdor. "Good day, rangers."
--
Ronny found Will desperately trying to delete the baby picture from his MySpace. "It's not working!" he screamed at her. "And Rose and Mack are like, trying to have a baby, so she's no help, and Dax locked himself in his room with a picture of Miratrix."
"Well, did you ask Mr. Hartford for help?" Ronny asked as she sat down on Will's bed. "Maybe he knows something that could help."
"Yeah, OK. Like he's not too preoccupied with trying to get into Rose's pants."
"I do have another suggestion, but if all you're going to do is make dirty jokes then I'll go flirt with Tyzonn."
"What?"
"Don't get mad. Get even."
"Get even. That's very interesting… Get even. And how could I do that?"
Ronny smiled evilly.
--
Kamdor was trying to murder Miratrix when he heard the computer beep, indicating that he had someone trying to reach the lair. It was the Fearcats.
They were laughing uncontrollably. "When did you and that Hartford nuisance get so cozy, Kamdor?" Mig choked out. Benglo hit his companion on the back.
"What are you talking about?" Kamdor demanded.
Benglo held up a glossy photograph to the screen. After a moment of studying, Kamdor punched a hole into the computer. It sizzled unpleasantly. "Master?" Miratrix asked meekly. "What did the Fearcats show you?"
"Something completely despicable: Andrew Hartford in a wedding dress with me in a tuxedo. Oh, he plays dirty, that black ranger. He is a worthy opponent. Humiliating him doesn't work. I must go back to the drawing board…
--
Hours later, Kamdor woke from a nightmare. It was that horrible photo the Fearcats had shown him come to life. Kamdor shuddered. Perhaps he should eliminate that Hartford man…
Kamdor looked around in his dark bedroom. Everything seemed to be in order…oh, not. That stupid man was standing by the door in a lacy white dress, a bouquet of lilies in his hairy hands. "I always knew you loved me, Kammy!"
Kamdor screamed. "Curse you, black ranger!"