Author's note: Just a random one-shot through the eyes of Nate. It's book ish

Your transfixed emerald eyes were completely glued to the slender bright eyed blonde in front of you. She was stunning. Radiance and brilliance sparkled and oozed from what seemed like ever pore on her delicate features. Her smile was igniting the room with its sheer, simple stature. You'd been memorized with all of her, from the curves of her delicate body right to her silky hair in simple ringlets made quite so effortlessly by simply waking up in the morning. You'd always thought her classically beautiful like Scarlet O'Hara or Audrey Hepburn. Or in her elegant sexy ways just like Marilyn Monroe. She was captivating, every word she spoke and every breath she took transfixed everyone around her. To you she was a simple angel sent down to grace everyone with her presence.

you wished you could sneak up in back of her put your hands on the curves of her hips and slowly wrap your arms around her petite body pulling her closer into you chest enough so to burry your face in the crook of her neck leaving a sweet trail of innocent kisses behind in her sandalwood and patchouli scented neck. A mix she'd made all herself, a mix you'd love to simply inhale right off of her sweet skin.

If you tried really hard you could still feel the softness of her skin, see the curve of her hips and feel her hot sticky breath in the mixed of the perfectly soft white sheets. You could still feel the magic of your bodies intertwined. Yet there you were watching her on the other side of the room.

You watched her do a simple spin for whom ever she'd been talking to and as she did so your eyes met. With an elegant wink and warm blown kiss her perfect silhouette turned back to the person she'd been deep in conversation with.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

If you closed your eyes tight enough you could remembering caressing the Frédéric Fekkai Apple Cider clarifying shampoo threw her scalp and silky blond hair while she lay sprawled out in the master bath of your parent's house smoking French Gaulloise cigarettes out of the long silver cigarette holder. Things had been so innocent back then; sex hadn't ever even crossed either of your minds. Things just happened to be so natural for the two of you. Seeing her in the bath or lying in your bed in nothing more then La Perla panties wasn't anything out of the ordinary. How you wished you could just get right threw the Seven Jean skirt you could tell she'd ripped herself just to see if she'd ever changed from her favorite type purchases.

Just with a simple wink she could have the world at her feet if she wanted and she was so completely un aware of it. You just wished you could point that out to her; only thing was it would have been completely and totally irreverent. Most things you could do would be irreverent. If you put your arms around her it would have been taken for a simple hug, kissed her cheek it would have been playfully slapped you in a loving yet caring way. She didn't have the mutual feelings for you that you did her. You'd both differed from what once was.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
'Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

You knew as soon as you saw the arms protectively slip around her waist, her face lit up like a dozen fireworks had suddenly exploded in a mass of striking colored illuminations that what she felt went way beyond simple smiles and gentle touches. You watched him as he tilted her chin up to his and lightly brushed a tender kiss on her well glossed reserved lips. You felt your self have to hide your fists behind your back in order not to go and interrupt the picture perfect moment they'd created. You wanted to be the one to hold your arms around her and plan tender devoted kisses on her lips.

Putting your hand in your pocket your finger tips touched on the fresh roach you'd wrapped just this morning. The marijuana helped take the edge off of the sting from the lack of her affections. If someone had told you that all you would have was one time you would have made it last more then it had. As you walked outside out into the still bitter cold you took your lighter out of your pocket and lit the paper. The fumes intensified your thoughts and memories from childhood and your one night of passion. You would never again look at the words Parting the red sea the same way ever ever again. Who would have thought that history terms could be taken so literal?

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

You could have had anyone in the senior class, perhaps even everyone in the entire school and above. Prep school prince, yep, that was your croawning title. To bad that the reigning princess of Constence Billiard didn't feel the same way anymore. You'd have given anything to have her back. Blair was a great girl but she wasn't Serena. Her dark hair and dark eyes were callosed and cold hearted. She wasn't Serena's flawless perfect. Even if the girl tried she couldn't look bad in your eyes. Sleep matted hair and miss matched clothes, Serena always looked like a goddes to you and that's because she will always be your princess. No if's and's or but's she's your pincess.

You didn't even noticed the picture perfect couple come out till you hear the smacking of their lips together. The havn't noticed you either, it's to dark to see anything. Yet even in the dark you can make out where his hands rest, tucked in the back pockets of her jean skirt. Like there was nothing suggestive about it. You bite the inside of your lip in jealousy, at least green has always been a good color on you. It's one thing you've always worn well. Even in the dark you can see her face completely lit up with excitement. It doesn't mean that you don't wish the mega watt smile was for you. Because if you could you would make it so that it was you she smiled like that for.

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

If only you could actually hate Dan, but you can't because the smile he brings to her face is more then any other. Seeing a smile on her face makes you happy also. But to know that she's happy and safe you trust that he won't hurt her. If he ever does hurt her though you'll be right there to pick up her broken pieces.

But right now with the way he's looking at her like she's the only person around you know that it'll be a very long time before you get your chance. You watch as he whispers happy birthday to her and picks her up swinging her lovingly around and all you want to do is steal her away and retreat back to the Hampton.

Happy Birthday Serena.

Your Natie misses you.