Notes:
No I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. This is a work of fiction and is meant to be treated as such. This story is crossposted to Ao3. Yes it diverges from canon.
Nothing but the silent whispering of the wind, the strangely uncomfortable rays of sunlight. The air was thick with tension, despite no one else being around. Yet alone, atop the balcony, stood a despondent kunoichi, her head hung low. Soft, lustrous pink hair, her forehead protector being used as a makeshift hairband.
"I hope… I hope they come back soon," Sakura whispered softly, the weight in her chest unwavering. She had confidence, at least that's what she told herself, time and time again, repeating it like a mantra. She knew he would bring Sasuke back. It's just… She didn't know when. The anticipation was killing her, and she hadn't left this spot for the last few hours.
Naruto would come back, Sasuke in tow, in process redeeming him, absolving him of his sins. If there was one person in the position to succeed, it had to be him. Hadn't it always been that way? Naruto. Always Naruto. Just hours ago, she had said the same. The memories came crashing in, overwhelming her ability to rationalize, to reason with reality. Her unadulterated plea for salvation, her one request.
"Naruto! I beg you!" Sakura cried, her eyes tightly shut in agony. Tear after tear rolled down her delicate face, splashing on the ground inaudibly. Even without her words, the sight was gut-wrenching. A glimpse of the searing agony lain her heart as she spoke. "Please… Please bring Sasuke-kun back!"
In response, the blond remained silent, his bright azure eyes wide with surprise. He had never seen such a volatile, vulnerable side to the girl he crushed on. Even if bringing Sasuke back would mean more competition, there was absolutely no way he could ignore her unadulterated plea. Just no way.
"I couldn't do it…" Sakura sniffed, choking on fresh tears as she spoke. "I couldn't stop him! The only person… Who can probably save Sasuke-kun now is you… Naruto!"
She let out a sigh. There was no use in dwelling on memories, she told herself. She knew. She knew Naruto wouldn't fail. She could see them together again, her, Sasuke and Naruto, laughing together. As if nothing ever went wrong.
As if everything was alright.
"But…" She whispered, unknowingly, by pure instinct. The hole in her heart burned with each passing second, refuting herself. It hurt to think about her request. It hurt to think of Naruto and Sasuke. Something… Something was wrong. The pink haired ninja shuddered, for the first time feeling true doubt. A break in her conviction. She hoped it was all just a passing thought. That her worries would be put to rest. Nothing was wrong, after all, right? Everything was just a horrible nightmare, a horrible joke. Just days ago, everything was fine. Sure, Sasuke was bedridden from his encounter with Itachi, but it was still small compared to this.
This tragedy.
She must have lost track of time, lost track of her surroundings, until the sound of incoming footsteps caught her attention.
"Sakura!" Spoke the loud, feminine voice, immediately recognizable, catching the pink haired ninja's attention.
Running to her was Ino, her childhood best friend and rival. Her silky blonde hair down to hip length, her expression an odd contrast to Sakura's own despondent face. At least the news would be uplifting… Hopefully.
"Ino?" Sakura asked quietly. She hadn't really found the will to speak.
"It looks like everyone's back!" Ino exclaimed, cheerful and happy.
"Everyone…" Sakura paused. She knew what that word meant. "They're alive…"
"Come on now, let's go to the hospital!" Ino clamored, quickly running off, Sakura just behind her.
Before she knew it, she was at the hospital, with the receptionist desk right in front of her eyes. She had hoped that this would answer her questions, would ease her worries. That this nightmare would soon be over.
"Excuse me, what are the rooms for…" Ino began, hurriedly asking the receptionist.
"The Genin that just came back from the mission?" The medical ninja finished for her. It seemed word traveled fast. Rarely did Genin ever need such medical treatment. They were seldom sent on such dangerous missions.
"Yes," Sakura responded, on both of their behalfs. "Please tell us."
"Nara Shikamaru and Akimichi Chouji are both in the West Wing," she began, pointing at the floor plan for their room numbers. Ino breathed a sigh of relief in response. Her teammates would be alright.
"Hyuga Neji and Inuzukua Kiba are both in the East Wing," she continued. Although neither Ino or Sakura were close friends, they were still their comrades, classmates, and Chunin exam rivals. A slight smile of relief on both their faces.
A pause. Was that all there was?
No…
"Wait!" Sakura exclaimed, the hole in her heart suddenly igniting, her searing agony rearing its ugly head once more. "What about… What about Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke?"
A look of confusion crossed the receptionist's face. She took a second look at the book. Her expression… Her expression did not change. She wasn't wrong. The names would not lie to her, nor would her eyes.
At least, that was the logical outcome Sakura could derive.
"We didn't hear anything about an Uzumaki Naruto or an Uchiha Sasuke…" She spoke, conservative and quiet. Something about the kunoichi's eyes, wide with shock and confusion, caused the receptionist to hesitate to speak more. Thankfully for her, Sakura remained silent, wide-eyed.
Ino on the other hand, didn't know what to say. She saw Sakura begin to tremble, ever so slightly. It made her feel guilty that her own teammates were safe, but Sakura would know nothing about Naruto and Sasuke. The blonde merely looked on in worry, a hand by her heart, her aquamarine eyes wide with concern.
"Sakura…" She whispered, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder, which trembled very slightly. She didn't know how to go by this, but she wanted to see her teammates. Slowly, she found the will to speak.
"I'm going to go see Chouji and Shikamaru…" Ino whispered. Instantly, the blonde felt guilty for her words. She knew that her teammates were alright. She did want to see them. But part of her also wanted to escape the tense situation, escape the uncertainty, the air thick with tension. It was unfair, but it was too much, too stifling for the blonde.
"I…I'll go…" Sakura began, trembling as she spoke, struggling to maintain a level of calmness in her voice to no avail. Her voice broke on every word, her breathing accelerating. "N-Naruto and S-Sasuke-kun… Are… Are definitely… Are definitely h-here… They're definitely…"
But she never got that far. Her voice lacked strength, drive, lacked the will to continue. It was as if the worst of her nightmares was waiting to come to life. Like Kami if he existed was laughing at her, mocking her inability to grasp fate and life. It was too much. There was no way… No way that her worst suspicions would be confirmed… Would they?
"Um… I'll see you later," Ino spoke quickly, breaking into large strides as she left for the West Wing. Her voice was reluctant, fueled by doubt.
No doubt she wanted out. But Sakura didn't have the same option.
"I…I…" Sakura stammered, feeling the tears begin to form at the corners of her emerald eyes. Slowly, she took reluctant steps, mindlessly, aimlessly. She didn't know what to make of the situation. The mere weight of uncertainty was too much. Far too much. Slowly, her steps broke into larger strides. Strides of panic. Strides of fear. Nothing but the flame in her heart that pushed her onward. She was afraid. She was terrified. But there was no use in worrying, no use in dwelling on the uncertainty. She had to… She had to know.
It can't be...
The figure slowly came into focus. Silver hair, flak jacket. The man was undoubtly handsome. Her sensei, the man who had protected her and her teammates several times.
"Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura yelled, worried and rough. "Where is… Where…"
"Sakura…" He spoke, his brooding voice marred very slightly by guilt and shame. Something was very wrong. That man never showed such emotions.
"Kakashi-Sensei!" Sakura panted, looking down at the ground, her hands on her knees as she breathed heavily. "Where are… Where…?
Then she saw it.
In the man, her teacher's arms, laid a figure, instantly recognizable, instantly identifiable. Radiant blond hair, beautiful azure eyes. What gave him his unique feature were the three whiskers, on both cheeks. Trademark orange jumpsuit with a splash of blue. But that wasn't what she saw. His blond hair, matted with blood, disheveled. His trademark excited grin, gone. Those azure eyes were clouded. His happy-go-lucky expression that she had been so used to; replaced by nothing. Expressionless. Lifeless.
"N…Naru…To?" She gasped. She saw it. A hole in his chest, blood streaming down his orange jumpsuit. His eyes, though lifeless, were agonized. Or so they appeared. Blood trickled down the corners of his mouth, which was tightly shut. For someone who was normally so loud and energetic, this was impossible. Unless… He was dead. He was gone. Not a single shred of life remained in the energetic blond she had grown so used to. That she had taken for granted. He had failed to keep his promise. But that didn't matter right now.
Because Naruto didn't need her anymore.
"N…No…No… I…I…" Sakura stammered, overwhelmed by the sight, the crashing memories. She remembered it all. Her plea. His promise. The smile on his face, the thumbs up. He said he would bring Sasuke back without fail.
Now she didn't even have the luxury of seeing Naruto again.
"Who…Who did… This…?" Sakura trembled, choking on the tears that now streamed down her face. He couldn't have… He… He wouldn't…
"This… This hole…" Kakashi murmured, lifeless. "Chidori…"
Chidori. That means…
"No!" Sakura gasped, covering her visage with both hands, tears threatening to fall, wide-eyed in terror. "No… No It can't be… Why…"
She knew what that meant. Unacceptable. Unforgivable. How could he do this? Just… Just a while back, they were laughing, them three. But now it was all gone. Vanished in the blink of an eye. The fading memory seemed nothing more than wishful thinking, a mere dream now.
One that wasn't meant to last.
"K-Kakashi-S-Sensei?" Sakura stammered, confused, melancholic, terrified, everything. So many emotions were assailing her at once. She had no idea what to say. She swore she'd be crying, breaking down. But she wasn't. She was still in too much shock. "This… This is a dream…" She whispered. "It… It has to be… No… No way this could…No… He wouldn't… He couldn't have…" Sakura coughed, suddenly feeling the first pang of nauseau, threatening to push her over the edge. Instinctively, she found her hand on the wall, something to stabilize her as she lost her grip on reality. "I… What have… I done…?
"Sakura, it's not your fault," Kakashi spoke, attempting to sound reassuring. But there was nothing the man could say that would calm her down. Nothing he could do to sunder the guilt lain within. "I…I never should have let him go. I shouldn't have taught him…"
It's my fault.
"No…" Sakura responded, slowly finding the will to speak, taking care not to let the nausea overwhelm her. "I… It's…"
My fault.
She knew. To deny would be to lie.
"Sakura-chan, you really like Sasuke, huh?" Naruto asked, a cheery façade blanketing the face. A face that masked the inner turmoil; He wanted to save Sasuke as a friend. But would Sakura ever acknowledge him?
"I know how much pain you're in because of Sasuke," Naruto continued, his monotone voice unbetraying his stoic façade. "I can understand."
A brief pause in her incessant crying. She recalled the time she told Sasuke that Naruto didn't understand her. She could see just how wrong she was. Just how much Naruto understood her from the bottom of his heart. She never thought he'd be giving his life for her.
"Naruto…" Sakura cried, holding her arms, trembling in agony. Her mind was racing, one-tracked, focusing solely on the cherished memory of Sasuke by her side. She didn't see anything else. "Thank you."
Naruto smiled, masking the weight lain in his heart. It was a small price to pay, he told himself. To sacrifice a piece of his happiness for the girl he loved.
"Don't worry, I'll bring him back!" The boy grinned, holding a thumbs up to the crying kunoichi. Not a sign of hurt in his façade. "Promise of a lifetime!"
Reality came back, overtaking the haze of memories she already wanted to forget. She, alone, sent Naruto off, told him to bring Sasuke back. Just another request. But he wasn't coming back. He couldn't do it. He died for her, and she had never acknowledged him. Until now. Because now that he was gone, there was no one left in her life. The boy she took for granted for so long would never come back. And he would never need her again.
"No…No…" Sakura stammered, choking, having to suppress the urge to throw up right then and there. She didn't think she could hold it in anymore. "It's all…It's… It's my fault…"
"Sakura…"
"No!" She screamed, taking off at blinding speed, her mind racing, threatening to go haywire, to break the boundaries into insanity. "Why? How could… Why would he kill…"
It's all my fault.
"Stop!" Sakura screamed, clutching her head, digging into her scalp as she fell, scraping her knees at high speed. But that pain was minimal. That was the equivalent of floating on a pool of water. She'd take it. Take it a hundred times. Take it and be grateful. Not like the soul-crushing guilt in her heart. Driven by pure instinct to run, she found the strength to stand again. Reality passed in a blur, and she wasn't quite sure where she was anymore. All she knew was that she wanted to run. Where to, no one would have known. If she could escape reality, or run from what she hoped was a dream, she'd do anything.
But that wasn't an option.
"H-Hey, Sakura!" Ino yelled, barely catching the glimpse of Sakura's figure dashing out the hospital door. Tears streaming down her face, causing the blonde to shudder. Something went very wrong. "Sakura?! Wait come back!"
But she wasn't listening. Not a word the blonde yelled reached her ringing ears. Her mind was racing, one-tracked. But this time, it wasn't her desire to be with Sasuke again. It wasn't a pining that she merely hoped he'd one day return.
No…
She felt nothing but regret, remorse, self-hate. She felt loneliness.
No one left to stand by her side.