Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night
Divinia_Serit
Summary:
It had been eight months since Phil died, and she was still seeing him everywhere in the Helicarrier and SHIELD HQ. (Rated for implied sex and language- nothing explicit; just being safe!)
A/N1: I'm currently obsessed with Maria Hill, and there is not enough Hill!fic. I also seem to ship her with anyone as long as it's well-written.
A/N2: Longterm Coulson/Hill. This is AU where Agent Hill was unaware of Fury's plans to revive Coulson, and Melinda May was in charge of covering up TAHITI. This is my timeline/headcanon for a future series where this story is a prologue to set up Maria/Phil. I used the timeline from the Marvel CinemaVerse Wiki to give myself a starting basis. This story takes place (and spins off) after the Battle of New York, but before Agents of SHIELD (which I have yet to see...ahhh!) Iron Man 3 has yet to happen (and if it does happen, will take place much later than in the universe), so Tony is still Iron Man. Basically, I had an idea (wouldn't leave me alone), wanted to write it, so I know it doesn't follow canon. Please excuse any mistakes! Also- Stark is hard to write. Kudos to those who do!
A/N3:I haven't written anything in like 2 years. ARGH. Sorry Mentalist fans- I'll be back to work on those soon! I just completely lost time and interest. Stupid adult world! Also- this is my first story posted at AO3 under the same name- all my cool tags are over there- but this one does have a cliffhanger. It will be part of a series.
Series title: Mechanical Hearts (Taken from a lyric in the Lindsey Stirling/Lzzy Hale collaboration 'Shatter Me')
Story Title: Taken from Dylan Thomas' poem of the same name
'Do not go gentle into that good night; rage, rage against the dying of the light'
Her eyes flew open when a sharp static hiss sounded from the intercom near her door. Her right hand fumbled around her bedside table before her fingers finally located the small earpiece. She quickly inserted it as the intercom came to life.
"Deputy Director Hill, your presence is requested in conference room 9."
Lifting her right hand to her ear, she transmitted her confirmation and closed her eyes with a groan. Thirty six fucking minutes. She had finally been able to drift off after nights of restlessness and flashbacks from... that day, and she was supposed to be off duty for fuck's sake. This is what she got for staying on base instead of going home. She untangled her limbs from the sweaty sheets, and padded to the bathroom.
God damn, she looked like hell.
Pulling her eyes away from her reflection, she splashed some water on her face, and twisted her long hair up. Once it was secured with a few of the scattered bobby pins dumped on the counter, she reached for a clean catsuit. Frowning at the mirror once more, she knew there was nothing that would eliminate the dark circles under her eyes or the gauntness of her face. She allowed herself a tired sigh, and pushed back the small moment of vanity before grabbing her sidearm and tablet and strode out the door with a scowl.
It had been eight months since Phil had died, and she still saw him everywhere in the Helicarrier and around Headquarters.
At first, her quarters on both were unbearable.
She frowned at the knock on her door, and glanced at her watch. It was close to midnight, and she could count the number of people that had the balls to knock on the door to her quarters when she was off duty on one hand. She slowly opened the door, and only her training prevented a smile from breaking.
"Agent Coulson, this is certainly unexpected."
"Agent Hill, I have that that mission report you requested. I know you had raised some procedural questions earlier-"
"If you have a moment, I'd prefer to ask them now since you're here."
Phil studied the woman in front of him carefully, taking in the tightness of her shoulders and the pinched lines on her forehead. Despite what others said, Maria Hill wasn't completely impossible to read- if you knew her. He kept his expression schooled as she ushered him in, the door locking behind him with a click. He tossed the folder on the nearest table, right before he had an armful of Maria. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and smiled when she tucked her head under his chin.
"I missed you," she whispered, muffled by his suit jacket.
She released him, and evaluated him with an expert eye. Her lips formed a half smirk, and Phil anticipated a trademark snarky comment with a grin.
"You gained some weight in New Mexico," she teased as he ran a hand through his hair.
"Sit, and I'll tell you about it," he responded and ushered her towards the bed.
Standing behind her, his hands fell to her shoulders and began to gently massage as he updated her on Thor and the scientists in Puente Antiguo. She half chuckled and half moaned when he hit a particular tender spot while describing the story of Jane's assistant's taser.
"God, I love you," she gasped when his hands moved lower as he sank down beside her and she leaned into him. He pressed his lips to the back of her head in a soft kiss.
"How's everything here?"
"Sitwell's an ass," she commented dryly. "And Fury's... Fury."
She could smell him on her pillow, his toothbrush was on the sink, and a spare suit was still hanging in her small closet. Gradually, the scent of his aftershave faded, and the toothbrush had been thrown away in a fit of rage. She didn't know what to do with the suit, not that she necessarily wanted to be rid of it yet. She didn't want to deal with the questions it was sure to raise. After all, no one had even been aware they were in a relationship other than Agent Melinda May, and she hadn't seen her mentor in at least a year.
Melinda May watched her longtime friend with a small smile as they supervised the newly promoted agents. She watched as his gaze flickered back to a younger brunette woman holding herself apart from the group of cheering rookies after the ceremony. She wasn't surprised. The young agent reminded her a lot of herself when she had joined SHEILD, and being a woman in a male dominated organization wasn't easy, especially when you were a woman at the top of your class.
"You should just ask her," Melinda said with a mischievous glint in her eye.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Coulson responded with a perfectly composed air.
"She's kept your interest ever since you pulled her out of Chicago. You're my best friend Phil. I'm pretty sure I know you by now," she replied with a shrug.
Phil sighed as they turned away from the group, and walked past the Academy training grounds. Melinda eyed him as the silence persisted.
"You're both agents now, and there's no rules against it if you're not in the same chain of command," she continued to push.
"Fury's already asked if I'd consider being her Supervising Officer," he responded.
"I'll take her on," Melinda flippantly retorted as the man stopped with a baffled expression.
"You haven't taken anyone on in years," he stated.
"I like her," she simply said.
They continued their circuit of the Academy grounds quietly, and May knew her partner was deep in thought.
"Don't you think," Phil started to say before Melinda cut him off.
"If you're about to bring up an age difference, I'll kick you in the shins," she muttered. "You're not old, Phil, and Hill's mature for her age. Besides, she's been watching you too."
Phil just shook his head with a thoughtful look on his face. The pair stopped when they realized they were back where they started. Everything was almost cleared away from the graduation ceremony earlier, and the crowds had dispersed. Only a solitary figure remained under the old oak tree that framed the grounds. Melinda nudged him with her hip, and walked off towards the girl. Maria Hill snapped to attention when she saw Agent May coming up beside her. The older woman just quirked an eyebrow, and Maria responded with a small sheepish smile and relaxed.
"We're both agents now, Hill."
"Yes ma'am."
"I'll talk to the Director later today, but I plan to take you on as my trainee," May casually stated as she carefully watched the younger woman. She only spotted a flicker of confusion in Maria's eyes, but the younger agent had excellent control over her emotions.
"Thank you, ma'am. I'm honored."
Melinda just cocked her head and gave her a small smile. "Report to me tomorrow afternoon."
May turned on her heel, and ginned at Phil who had come up behind her. He just shook his head, as he carefully approached Maria. Melinda could hear the murmur of voices behind her, but waited until she was farther away before turning to look at the pair. Agent Hill had relaxed, before stiffening in what Melinda was sure was surprise. The young woman paused before slowly nodding, and Phil stepped back with a smile. May chuckled to herself and continued to walk away. She'd definitely tease him about this later.
Maria continued down the hallway, glaring at a pair of arguing agents who quickly murmured apologies. Her fingers gripped the tablet harder and she averted her eyes from a memorial plaque listing those who had fallen in the line of duty.
She closed her eyes briefly. She could still hear them calling for medical over the radio before calling his death, and she felt her chest tighten. Exhaling slowly, she composed herself before pushing the elevator button.
She got off on the 7th floor, and quickly headed to a small elevator off to the side. She scanned her ID, and thumbprint, and the door opened with a woosh. She exited once more, and walked down a narrow hallway before stopping at a retina scanner. Once granted access, the door unlocked with a click and she stepped into the most secure conference room in the building.
"Ahh, the Ice Princess graces us with her presence," a familiar, annoying voice stated.
"Stark," she stated before even turning around.
"Thanks for joining us, Hill," Fury said and handed her a cup of coffee.
Her sharp retort about being off-duty died on her lips when she saw the mug. She accepted her boss's offering with a raised eyebrow and glanced around the room. Tony Stark was fiddling with his phone ignoring everyone, while Steve Rogers was flipping through a file in front of him. Natasha Romanov stared straight ahead, but met her gaze with a faint smile. Maria returned the other woman's greeting with a nod of her own. She ignored the assassin's intense study no doubt recording her pale features and weight loss. She was sure she'd hear about it later.
"What can I do for you Director?" She asked as she took a long drag of coffee.
"There's been in an increase in terrorist activity attributed to a rising unknown individual. Stark's here to announce an end to his consulting hours, but I'm respectfully requesting him to reconsider," Fury stated in a tone not meant to be argued with.
"Not a snowball's chance in hell," Stark muttered.
Fury continued, "With the other Avengers scattered-"
"Banner's in India, Thor's back in Asgard, and Romanov knows where Barton is," Hill interrupted.
Stark shot her a glare clearly annoyed with SHIELD's monitoring. She ignored him, and turned back to Fury who was waiting to continue with an impatient glare at both of them. Romanov continued to silently observe, and Rogers seemed to be the only one paying any attention to Fury, albeit with a frown.
"Romanov also believes the individual known as the Winter Soldier may have connections with the Red Room. I'm assigning you as the Avengers liaison-"
"Whoa, whoa-" Stark interrupted as Maria's head shot up at the news.
"Sir, I don't think-"
"I'm not asking, Hill," Fury responded sternly. "This is not up for a debate."
She bit back another retort and clenched her coffee mug.
"So, retrieving Captain America," Maria said with a grin as she dropped her bag by the bedroom door.
"Looks like we found him this time, and the locating agents report they've found vital signs. Fury's already talked to me about possibly reintroducing him to the modern world," he said with a beaming smile as he watched the brunette remove her gun and place it by the table before shrugging out of her blazer.
"I love seeing you so excited," she responded with a heated look.
His expression turned a little more pointed as he walked over to her. Grabbing her face, he pulled her mouth to his, and groaned as her hands rested on his chest before trailing lower. Dropping his hands he quickly caught her wrists and she pulled back with a husky laugh. She allowed him the brief restraint, and a shiver ran through her body. She loved when he took control. His eyes darkened, and he released her hands before reaching up to undo the buttons on her blouse. He barked out a laugh when she let the shirt fall to the floor, and she gave him a saucy grin.
"Captain America lingerie?" he asked.
"Just thought I'd surprise you since you've been on a mission for the last three months, Future Mr. Liaison," she replied.
He shook his head with a wry smile.
"You should see the rest of it," she whispered as his gaze locked on hers again.
He pushed her towards the bed, and she felt her body tingle in response to his stare.
Steve Rogers continued to listen to Fury while studiously ignoring Stark's presence. His eyes flickered towards the assassin beside him who was studying the Deputy Director with a slightly drawn expression on her face. Rogers was slowly starting to realize this was the Russian's concerned expression, although why she was using it with Agent Hill he was unsure. He'd never seen the two women interact outside of the Battle of New York, and they didn't seem too friendly then.
He shifted his gaze to the brunette woman standing off to the side, and felt his own brow furrow. He had never seen the Deputy Director at less than 110%, and yet she currently appeared to not be listening to a word the Director was saying. She'd lost weight, and her appearance was drawn and tense, and he felt a flicker of concern for the other woman despite the fact she didn't seem to like him for some reason. She blinked twice as if clearing her head before scowling at Romanov and him before watching her boss argue with Tony Stark.
A shrill ring interrupted them, and Fury answered his phone with a snarl.
"Yes?" he said sharply.
His expression tightened, and his gaze shifted towards his Deputy Director with a small frown.
"She's early. May's not supposed to be here for another twelve hours." he sighed. "Send her in."
Maria Hill widened her eyes when Fury mentioned May. She hadn't seen or heard from her friend in over a year due to some sensitive mission Fury had assigned the other woman. Hill hadn't worried too much about the lack of contact. That was the price of friendship in this organization. She had been furious at first when she realized May wouldn't be at Phil's funeral, but rationally understood every mission couldn't come to a halt just because he died. Hopefully, they'd have time to grab a drink after this meeting was over. She could sure use something strong right about now.
She willed her brain to focus on the matter of hand, and it took her a few moments to look up when the door to the room clicked open despite the sudden silence that fell across the room.
"Coulson," Tony said angrily as he turned towards Fury. "This is quite the surprise what with you being, you know, dead and all."
Whatever response the Director was forming was quickly stopped by the loud shatter as the coffee mug fell from Maria's hand and hit the floor. Everyone's eyes turned towards the Deputy Director who had gone deathly pale. The brunette's knuckles were white as she gripped the table in front of her as if it was the only thing keeping her standing.
"Phil?" she questioned in a hoarse gasp before closing her eyes and staring at the table.
"MK?" he responded, his smile quickly fading to concern.
No one said a word as his expression turned to anger, and he glared at Nicholas Fury.
"You told me she knew."
Even Tony Stark was silent as they watched the exchange between the three senior agents. None of the Avengers had ever seen Coulson this angry, and the quiet, unassuming agent had quickly turned deadly. An Asian woman who had entered with Coulson put her hand on his shoulder and her mutinous expression matched Coulson's.
"The only reason I agreed to not contact anyone during my recovery was because you told me she knew and understood," Coulson stated icily.
"It had to look real," Fury stated drawing a sharp, shuddering breath from the Deputy Director.
Everyone's eyes swiveled back to Maria Hill who blinked several times, before raising her face to meet Director Fury. Her normally blank expression was completely shattered, her face pained and her eyes swimming with tears. She quietly unholstered her gun, before laying it and her ID on the table in front of her boss.
"I'm done," she said firmly, her hands shaking slightly.
"Hill, I demand-"
The former deputy director of SHIELD whirled around with a strangled cry and slapped him hard across the face. He didn't finish his sentence as he locked eyes with the woman in front of him.
"You don't have that right anymore," she stated quietly. "Not after this."
Without another word, she fled the room with her eyes down and her hand over her mouth. Coulson's eyes followed the retreating woman before tossing his own badge on the table and quickly following her.
"I always knew you were a fucking bastard, Nicholas Fury, but this-" Melinda May trailed off with a furious glare.
"It was need to know," the Director said quietly.
"She's his wife."
May strode to the door, and with one last look at Rogers, Romanov, and Stark she turned to Fury.
"You'll be lucky to get either of them back after this."
The door closed with a bang, and the silence continued for another minute.
"Does someone want to explain what the hell just happened, because I sure as fuck didn't see that one coming!" Stark lazily tossed out.