Triple Down
Field of Play
"We're up by a touchdown," Leo said as he prepared to take the snap. He smirked at Raph while he said it, hoping to rile up the hot head and throw him off his game.
"Ya' just been lucky," Raph told him, refusing to be drawn. "We both know ya' ain't gonna dare throw the ball ta Donny 'cause Mikey can outrun him any day of the week."
"Hey," Don protested from his position bent over the football. "I don't have to be faster, I just have to outmaneuver him."
"Fat chance that's gonna happen," Mikey said, eyes twinkling.
"You should just concede," Leo said. "This is the last down and you aren't getting the ball away from us."
"Keep talking smack Leo," Raph said with a grin. "In a couple of minutes you're gonna be eating those words."
Leo braced himself, hands outstretched as he called and audible. "92. Red. 14. 23. Green. Hut. Hut. Hut!"
Don snapped the ball expertly and bolted forward as though about to run full out as Leo danced backwards, avoiding Raph's rush. Mikey shot down the field, determined to stay out in front of Don and intercept what he was sure was about to be a pass play.
Instead of rushing out for the long ball, Don spun on his heels and cut back, his hand shooting out to pull Raph's tail as his brother went by. Startled, Raph's steps faltered and he looked back at Don, giving Leo time to dart past him, bumping his brother's shoulder hard enough to send Raph tumbling.
A quick lateral pass sent the ball to Don and Leo raced ahead to block Mikey's chances at tackling him.
Don tucked the ball under his arm and ran full out towards the end zone, sure that their trick play had worked. Neither he nor Leo expected that Raph, now extremely motivated, would roll so quickly to his feet and come at the purple banded turtle at a dead run.
With a headlong dive, Raph caught Don's shoulders and drove him to the ground. In a tangled mass of limbs, the pair rolled over and over, both fighting for possession of the ball.
From across the field Leo and Mikey ground to a halt and jogged back over to their brothers, who had finally come to a stop. They could hear Raph loudly proclaiming things like 'dirty pool' and 'tails are off limits' as they approached, his protestations accompanied by Don's melodious laughter.
The voices had stopped by the time Leo and Mikey reached them but neither Don nor Raph seemed inclined to get up. In fact, what the standing pair heard was a matching set of churrs.
Upon closer examination, they could see Don's hand wrapped around Raph's tail and Raph's hand moving between them.
Rolling his eyes, Leo told Mikey, "I guess the game's over."
Mikey called out in what he hoped was a loud enough voice, "Dudes! Can we at least get the ball back?"
A split second later the football came spiraling towards his face, though it was hard to tell who'd thrown it. Catching it deftly, Mikey followed Leo off the field of battle-turned-boudoir.
Chicanery
Distracted from his video game by the sound of grumbling, Mikey spun sideways on the couch and looked towards the center of the lair. There, pacing back and forth and appearing greatly agitated, was his brother Raphael.
After watching the red banded turtle mutter to himself for a few minutes, his expression sour, Mikey jumped over the back of the couch and approached him.
"What's up bro'?" Mikey asked, though unsure as to whether he'd get an answer or a scowl from the hot tempered turtle.
His question was rewarded by both. "I already told Donny ta quit working and come ta bed six times. He never even made it out of the lab last night and he promised not ta pull that same stunt again."
Mikey shrugged. "He doesn't do it on purpose, he just forgets. There's always something that Don thinks is more important than sleep. You know how his mind works."
Raph came to a sudden stop, his head jerking in Mikey's direction. The gleam in Raph's gold eyes told Mikey his brother was about to do something crazy and Mikey seriously did not want any part of it.
Before he could make a quick exit stage left, as the cartoons said, Raph caught his arm.
"Disappear," Raph told him roughly.
"Wh . . . what?" Mikey asked, startled.
"Scram. Vamoose. Make yourself scarce. Go someplace where Don won't see you when he comes out of the lab," Raph said as he released Mikey's arm.
"O~kay," Mikey agreed, wondering if Raph had a screw loose. It was easier to do as asked than to get any further involved, so Mikey made a beeline for the darkened dojo.
When Mikey was out of sight, Raph took a deep breath and quickly began pinching the skin on his face, his eyes glued to Don's lab door. Once he was sure his skin appeared flushed, Raph strode towards Don's lab.
As soon as he was within a few feet of the door, Raph broke into a dead run, hurling his body into it and throwing it open. Don's head came up from the object he'd been studying, his dark eyes snapping in surprise.
"Raph! I've told you a million times not to startle . . . ." Don began.
"Come quick, something's happened to Mikey!" Raph shouted over him, breathing heavily and looking panicked.
Jumping up from his chair, Don flung his tools aside and rushed towards Raph. "Where is he?"
Standing aside to let Don pass, Raph said, "He's in my room. He came in there to tell me something and then just collapsed."
Don raced for the stairs, taking them three at a time with Raph right on his heels. Without pausing, Don ran directly to Raph's room, practically diving through the open door.
Sliding to a stop, Don scanned the bedroom but didn't see Mikey anywhere. Just as he began to turn, Raph slammed the door shut and turned the lock.
"Gotcha," Raph said in a gratified tone.
"What are you doing?" Don demanded, glaring at his brother. "Where's Mikey?"
"Probably downstairs playing his video games again," Raph said as he blocked the door. "This is what you get for lying to me six different times."
"What are you talking about? When did I lie to you?" Don asked, growing angry.
"'Okay Raph, I'll be up in five minutes.' 'Just let me finish putting this away and I'll join you.' 'I'm right behind you Raph'. 'All I need to do is shut down my laptop'," Raph mimicked, doing an imitation of Don's voice. "Should I keep going?"
Don's angry expression faded into one of sheepishness. "Did I actually say all of that?"
"That and more," Raph told him, crossing the room. As he began to untie Don's belt, Raph said, "I think it's automatic but it's still a lie and after a while it sounds like what you're saying is 'fuck off Raph'."
"I would never tell you that," Don said heatedly, lifting first one leg and then the other as Raph slid his knee pads free.
Having completely stripped his brother, Raph pushed Don none too gently onto the bed and swiftly straddled him. In a guttural voice, Raph said, "Oh I don't mind if ya' use the word 'fuck', Donnie-boy. I just wanna hear it in a whole different context."
"I'm sure I can manage that," Don said, catching the back of Raph's head and yanking him down.
Mind Numbing
The inside of the pharmacy was darker than outside on the street and Raph bumped into a display stand filled with greeting cards. His quick reflexes were the only thing that kept it from spilling everywhere and he cursed lightly as he set it solidly on its feet again.
"Did ya' have ta kill all the lights, Donnie?" Raph asked.
From somewhere nearby Don answered, "Yes. Use your pencil flash and help me find what I need so we can get out of here."
Raph groaned and flicked his small light on, sweeping it partway up a shelf in order to figure out where he was. The beam illuminated a package of diapers and Raph frowned.
"Tell me again why I agreed ta go shopping with ya'?" Raph turned a corner into the next aisle, which seemed to contain paper goods of every size, shape, and variety.
"Because I said please," Don said, his voice drifting eerily in the dark.
"There's no way I was that easy," Raph said with a touch of humor.
"I might have promised to show you one of my kinks," Don said.
Raph chuckled. "Yeah, now I'm starting ta remember. My brain went south for a few minutes and ya' kidnapped me."
"It's not my fault if your penis makes you easy to manipulate," Don said, suddenly appearing in front of Raph, a large grin on his face.
"I'm so gonna make ya' eat those words when we get out of here," Raph told him.
"If we don't hurry we'll be arrested before you get the chance," Don said. "I cut the alarm system off a good three minutes ago."
"What the shell am I looking for again?" Raph asked, using his light to examine the shelves.
"I need you to stock up on the over the counter pain relievers; just get a couple of bottles of each different kind," Don said. "Then grab the bandages and wraps we typically use, you know what they look like."
As he started to walk away, Raph asked, "Where are ya' going?"
"Behind the counter," Don called out. "I need Noemycin, Cefapirin, Cefdinir, Amoxicillin . . . ."
"Forget I asked," Raph said loudly, interrupting Don's litany. "Ya' should come with subtitles."
"Why? You wouldn't understand those either," Don quipped.
Grabbing the items on Don's wish list and tossing them into a shopping bag, Raph asked rhetorically, "Why did I have ta fall in love with a genius?"
As if by magic Don appeared again, his expression mischievous. "Because I have these and know how to use them."
In one hand he held a case of K-Y Jelly and in the other a box of plastic speculums. Raph's mouth dropped open and Don snickered, tucking the items into his duffel before snagging the shopping bag from Raph's hand and storing it alongside the sexual aids.
"How much of that stuff do ya' think we need?" Raph asked when he finally found his voice.
The crunch of tires outside warned the pair that the police had arrived and they quickly exited through the open skylight they'd used as an entry point.
As they ran towards the roof's edge in order to leap over to the next building, Don answered, "All of it."
Raph almost missed his jump.