Poor James Potter had been living a very hectic ever since his son had been born. His wife Lily constantly talked about Harry, and how he was on the verge of speaking, and not that James didn't love Harry, but after coming home from work all Lily could ever talk about was the prospect of Harry talking.Sometimes he loved it, and sometimes he couldn't stand it. He'd taken to letting Sirius talk with Lily about that aspect of Harry's life. Sirius loved to spend time with Harry; he couldn't get enough of him. Sometimes James would catch himself wondering if Sirius was the father, with the way he went on and on about Harry.
Lily had noticed that James had ever so discreetly stuck Sirius into his place as a father. She was frustrated that he only seemed to want Harry when he felt like it, and decided that she might as well make James pay for it. She told Sirius that they were going to play a prank on James. Sirius loved a good old fashioned prank, and readily agreed.
One day when James came home from work, as usual, Sirius's bike was parked outside there house. He was trying to surprise Lily by finally coming home early for once, but he thought to himself, 'apparently that's not gonna happen'. Of course, Lily and Sirius had heard him, and they got into their places. When James opened the door he couldn't see anyone. He went down the hall to his room, and as he was about to open the door he swore that he could hear noises coming from inside. He frowned for a second, then opened the door saying, "Hey, Lily! I'm home-". After that he didn't know what to say. His wife and Sirius had very tousled hair, and Lily's blouse was very mussed. It looked highly suspicious.
"Hi honey," Lily said. She gave a side glance to the bed, which was, for her, conveniently messed up. "Me and Sirius were just, uhm.." Lily tried to give the kind of pause a woman coming up with a lie would give. Right on cue, Sirius said, "We were just gonna go ahead and wash the bed sheets. Harry had one of his spit up attacks, you know what I'm talking about, don't you?" he said.
"Actually," James replied rather tightly, "I don't know what you're talking about." He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He felt like he was in some kind of soap where he was the dumb husband who didn't realize that his wife was cheating on him. He tried to calm himself with a deep breath, considering that there was no proof.
Lily and Sirius both saw him trying to remain calm and gave each other little smiles. Lily let the awkward silence continue, then said, "James honey, why don't you go get Harry. I swear that he is on the verge of saying his first word"
James glanced between her and Sirius then said, "Okay. Maybe he'll say daddy," as he shot a slight glare at Sirius.
Sirius and Lily couldn't believe it, and they both burst out laughing when he left.
"Wow, I can't believe he fell for that," Lily said. "However, I guess that means that we have a few kinks in our marriage if he'd believe something like that. But that was lots of fun"
"Yeah," Sirius said. "He's already spending time with Harry in order to seem like a better husband!" Sirius sad while trying to hold back his laughter.
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Later, as Lily was just putting the food down at the table, Harry started to make sounds. Lily told James and Sirius to hurry up and get over there. They both rushed over, with James trying to push Sirius out of the way. "Come on, say it Harry," Sirius said.
"Yeah, sport, say daddy as your first word. You can do it!" James exclaimed.
"Da…." Harry said. "Hey, does that count as a first word?" James asked.
"No James, that was just a little baby talk!" Lily said exasperated.
Personally, she wanted Harry to say "Mama" first. However, as it turned out, neither really got their wish. But it did fit perfectly into Lily's plan.
Harry started to talk, and they all got really quiet, to hear, "Daddy! Daddy!" Harry said with a cute little squeal. James was elated for a split second, until he realized that Harry was looking at Sirius. James could barely contain himself. Sirius took a huge gulp, he knew that look. He wasn't too sure if they'd pushed James too far. Lily looked like Christmas had come early though.
"Don't worry James honey, we all know who his real father is. The man that spends all of his time with him and takes care of him. The man that always lovingly takes care of me." Lily said with a smile. However, James was not at ease. He realized that Sirius had really been doing many of those things for Lily, and with the situation he'd witnessed earlier that day, he didn't know what to believe. Sirius just prayed he wouldn't have to get punched for this.
James finally looked at Lily, and said "Lily, I know that I've been ignoring you and Harry lately, but please tell me that you at least started your affair after Harry was born"
Lily and Sirius exchanged looks and then Lily said, "Oh James, I knew that you'd figure it out," then she turned to Sirius and gave him a big kiss on the lips. James looked on in shock. He couldn't move; then Sirius and Lily burst out laughing. James didn't understand, and then it hit him. He'd been set up. Everything was a joke.
"Lily, Sirius, that isn't funny! You had me believing that you guys were having an affair!" James said.
"Well, it teaches you a lesson. Never take your family for granted!" Lily said.
"Alright Lily, I get it, I'm sorry. I love you guys, and would never want lose you." Then he smiled at her and they kissed. While that went on, Sirius went to pick up Harry from the high chair, and as he went over Harry said "Daddy!". Sirius stopped and gave James a sheepish grin. "Come on Harry, I'm not Daddy, I'm Padfoot! That's your daddy." Sirius said as he pointed at James. However, the only that Harry did was to say, "Pafoot!" Sirius turned around and grinned, then Lily, James, and him burst out laughing. This was something they'd be laughing about for a long time