Hello :) here's another small oneshot. Can be read on its own or with my last fic 'Reassurance'
Here we go lurkingwhump here's a little bit of angst for ya! 3
Jane was released from the hospital a couple of hours later. Kurt had received a call from Reade, stating that the rest of the team were meeting for celebratory drinks, and would they like to join them. Kurt had resisted, wanting to get his wife home and to bed, but Jane had insisted. She wanted to thank the team for finding her.
The team bonding session had started off quite well, but Kurt had watched Jane with a sense of unease. He could see her eyes constantly darting to the exit, and see the fear behind the careful cherry mask she had in place for the team's benefit. She hadn't touched her drink- minus the small sip she had taken after Reade's toast- and he knew the burning of the alcohol must be upsetting her still unsettled stomach.
Their eyes locked from across the room, and he knew he needed to get her out of there. He could sense her discomfort rising by the minute.
"Well it's been a long day." he said, grabbing his jacket.
"Understatement of the century." Rich muttered.
Jane forced out a smile, exchanging goodbyes with their team, before nearly running out of the room.
Once they were in the main area of the NYO, out of view from everyone else, Kurt put his arms around her.
"What happened in there?" he asked. He could feel her trembling in his embrace.
She took a deep breath.
"I don't know." she replied honestly. "One minute I was fine… the next I was finding it hard to breathe."
Kurt nodded in understanding.
"You've been through a lot." he said, kissing her on the side of the head. "Let's get you home."
"Ok." she whispered, moving out of his arms and allowing him to lead her to the elevator.
When the doors opened, Kurt stepped inside, frowning slightly when she didn't follow him. She was frozen, her face pale and her eyes wide.
"Jane?" he asked in concern, putting his hand over the doors so they wouldn't close.
"I…" she stammered.
He stepped out of the elevator, placing his hands on her upper arms. He cupped her face, tilting her chin up so she would look at him.
"Can we take the stairs?" she got out in a rush.
Kurt blinked.
"Jane you just got out of hospital… I really don't think…"
"I'll be fine." she muttered, taking his hand and leading him to the staircase.
The idea of being in the elevator had set Jane's vitals into panic mode. It was too small, no way of escaping… she would be trapped.
She took off, almost at a run down the stairs, the walls of the NYO suddenly stifling.
"Jane!" Kurt called from a couple of flights above her. "Slow down!" When she continued her flurry down the next set of stairs he continued, "The doctor said not to elevate your heart rate too much!"
Jane ignored him. Her elevated heart rate from this small burst of exercise, was nothing compared to what would happen should she slow down and stay in the narrow staircase any longer.
"Jane!" he called again, picking up speed so he could catch up to her. After a few moments, he wound around the corner, reaching for her elbow, and bringing her to a halt.
She gasped for breath, her eyes wild.
"Jane…" he breathed. "Tell me what's going on. Please." he added for measure, slightly out of breath himself.
Jane's eyes filled with tears, her chin wobbling.
"I need to get out of here." she whimpered.
"Ok." Kurt replied, still not completely understanding what was going on.
With that, Jane turned on her heel and continued her flight down the stairs. She never let up speed once, even through the lobby. She burst through the door onto the street, gasping for breath.
She bent over, her hands on her knees and retched onto the pavement. Tears streamed down her face, even with her eyes squeezed shut.
Kurt moved forward slowly, a frown plastered on his face. He gently place his hand on her back, so desperately wanting to comfort her, but not wanting to frighten her even further.
Jane gasped, taking in lungfuls of air, willing the anxiety in her chest and the nausea in her belly to settle down. She knew she was having an anxiety attack… that the symptoms she was currently experiencing had nothing to do with the hurry down the stairs.
She brought her hand up, clutching her stomach as it cramped from the attack. She needed to calm herself down, otherwise she was about to be very ill in a very public place.
She forced herself to breathe in through her nose, to focus on Kurt's hand on her back, his warmth, the softness of his voice as he murmured into her ear.
After a few minutes of breathing deeply, the rushing sound in her ears began to disappear, her chest beginning to loosen. She still felt shaky and sick, but also felt like she was more in control of her body. She straightened up, too scared and embarrassed to look Kurt in the eye. Instead, she opted for turning into his arms, burying her face into his chest.
"Feeling a bit better?" he asked softly, rubbing the back of her head.
She nodded, still not sure if she could trust her voice.
"What can I do?" he asked, his voice strained from the sadness of watching her despair.
She cleared her throat and took another shaky breath in.
"Please just take me home." she whispered in a small voice.
"Ok." he said kissing the top of her head. He took her by the hand, leading her to the nearest cabbie.
She closed her eyes the entire way home, focusing on nothing but breathing and the small circles Kurt's thumb was tracing on the back of her hand.
Once in the apartment - she had taken the stairs to their floor - she let out a sigh, the weight on her chest lifting slightly at the familiarity of home.
"Why don't you go and have a shower." Kurt suggested. "I'll make us a late supper."
Jane swallowed then nodded, making her way to the bathroom. She turned the shower on, then stripped, looking at herself in the mirror. On the outside, there was nothing indicating she had been buried alive, save for the dirt still crusted under her fingernails and the red bump on the side of her neck.
She frowned at her reflection, hating the scared look she had in her eyes. She looked like a victim and she hated it.
Sighing, she moved towards the shower, groaning in sheer bliss as the heat started working its way into her muscles.
It had been well over twenty minutes since Jane had gone to have her shower. Frowning, Kurt moved towards the bathroom. It wasn't like her to stay in the shower that long.
The scene that greeted him, shattered his heart.
Jane was sitting on the bottom of the shower, her knees drawn up to her chest, her face buried in her arms. She was visibly shaking, her body wracked with heart wrenching sobs.
"Jane?" he asked softly, kneeling in front of her.
"I got trapped." she whimpered into her arms. She was rigid, almost as if she was too scared to move.
"What do you mean, honey?" he tried again.
Jane gasped between sobs, unable to control her breathing.
"The steam…" she tried. "Everything started closing in around me…"
With that, everything finally clicked into place in Kurt's head. How could he have been so blind?
"Ok sweetheart." he murmured softly. "Let me help you."
He reached up, turning the water off, before taking Jane in his arms and carrying her to the bedroom. He ignored the fact that he was now soaked, his only focus on calming his terrified wife down. He sat her on the bed, before moving back to the bathroom quickly to grab her towel.
When he returned to the bedroom, her eyes were still closed, her breathing still ragged.
He focused on getting her dried and dressed, not wanting her to catch a chill on top of everything else that was already going on.
He helped her into one of his oversized hoodies, deciding pants could wait until later.
Once she was a little more clothed, he knelt down on the floor in front of her, brushing her tears away with his thumb.
The distraught look on her face, had him reaching for her hand, placing it over his heart, the same way she had done during her first panic attack.
"Sssh… Jane. Just focus on this." He took a deep breath in. "Breath with me."
She complied, taking a shaky breath in as he did.
"And again." he murmured softly. "You're ok. You're safe. It's just you and me."
They continued to breathe together, until Jane seemed to be in a little more control.
"Can you open your eyes for me?" he murmured softly. She hadn't opened her eyes once since he had found her.
She exhaled the breath she had been holding, her face twisting.
"It's just us remember." he whispered softly, rubbing his thumb over her hand which was still on his heart.
She cracked her eyes open slowly, and took another deep breath.
Seeing that she wasn't going to completely lose it again, Kurt pulled her into his arms.
She clung to him, breathing him in.
"Guess being in that box messed me up a little." she chuckled, though there was no humor in her voice.
Kurt didn't reply, just opting to stroke the back of her head.
Kurt continued to hold her until she stopped shaking.
"Better?" he asked softly and Jane nodded against his chest.
"Thank you." she said in a small voice.
Kurt kissed the top of her head.
"We will get through this." he said adamantly.
Jane smiled softly. She loved that he always said we. That he always made it very clear she wouldn't have to do any of this alone.
"I love you so much." she told him, holding him a little tighter.
"I love you too." he whispered. "Everything is going to be ok." he promised.
In that moment Jane believed him. As messed up as she was, he still continued to love and support her… and she was so grateful for that.
"At least being in your arms doesn't make me claustrophobic." she muttered.
Kurt breathed a sigh in relief at that. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to handle that. He held her tighter, content with the fact that she was safe in his arms, at least for tonight.