Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. I don't own the music. I just got inspired by the song to write something and did so. I do, however, own my story; my collection of words and sentences. Please don't steal those. Severus, Hermione, and the other characters all belong to JK Rowling, one of my goddesses. The song is "I Meant Every Word He Said" by Ricky Van Shelton. Enjoy!
He had been in his office all day, marking essays from his fifth-year Ravenclaws. He set his quill down and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was glad it was Ravenclaw essays he was marking, as they tended to have the least mistakes for him to have to mark, though some of them gave him a headache with their impossibly tiny writing.
"Working hard, Professor?"
A voice from the door startled him. He looked up and nearly lost his breath. She was so lovely in her non-school robes. Crimson with gold trim... how utterly Gryffindor of her. "Miss Granger, one would think you would have learned to knock by now. You were a student for seven years and have now been a professor yourself for four years. Didn't they teach you manners in the muggle world?" He had to keep up his snarky appearance or he would profess his undying love and risk alienating her forever.
He saw her eyes narrow a bit at his insult of her muggle background, then she began to laugh quietly. "Keeping your reputation safe, eh? Don't worry, I won't tell." She came into his office and sat down in the chair usually reserved for students who needed advice or help from their dark Potions Master. "Listen. I wanted to run a few tests on a potion I've been working on, but I need a few ingredients that I don't have and I know you keep in stock. So rather than having to leave and risk jeopardizing the potion, I thought maybe I could borrow them from you and replace them when I get time." She shifted in her chair nervously. "It's just that it's at a rather precarious stage right now and I don't dare leave it unattended for very long. Certainly not for long enough to pop out to Diagon Alley and back. May I borrow the ingredients?"
He noticed she was biting the inside of her cheek, and she couldn't keep eye contact with him for long. She's nervous? About potions ingredients? "Which ingredients do you require, Miss Granger?"
"Oh, um, I need some Chamomile extract, Mugwort, and Monkshood," she replied.
His brow furrowed at the mention of Monkshood. "Wolfsbane, Miss Granger? Whatever do you need that for?" His curiosity had been piqued.
She sighed and asked, "Do you really have to know, Professor Snape? It's rather a personal project."
"Well you are asking for ingredients from my personal stores. I merely wanted to ascertain that you know what you're doing with such a volatile and rare, not to mention expensive ingredient."
She looked up at him with a look of absolute amazement that quickly turned to anger. "Professor Snape! I was your best student all seven years I was here at Hogwarts, not to mention that I double majored in Transfiguration and Potions at University. In fact, I am one original potion away from getting my own qualification as Potions Mistress! As a matter of fact, it's THIS potion that will gain me the qualification! If you don't want to loan me the things I need, just say so, but don't you EVER again question my competency!" Her chocolate eyes were turning closer to black as she seethed inwardly at his audacity.
"Now, now, Miss Granger. I did not say I wouldn't give you the ingredients. For so important a project, you may surely help yourself. We both know you know where my private stores are. Just please leave it in better shape than you did the last time you raided it." He couldn't resist one last taunt at the ruined polyjuice potion from her second year. He lowered his head back to the Ravenclaw essays and hid a very small smile.
"I wouldn't dream of taking them from you now. You're the most spiteful man I've ever met, and I hope you find someone who can someday make you happy. Good day." She stormed out of his office, and he could hear her footsteps on the stone steps leading back up to the main hall.
Later that evening, he felt bad about what had happened between Hermione and himself, so he gathered the ingredients she had asked for and took them up to her office. He stood outside the portrait that protected her office and was about to ask its occupant to tell its mistress that he was there when he heard voices from inside.
"Oh Remus, the potion's ruined!" He could hear her sobbing quietly. "All because Snape has to be the bastard once again. I only asked for a few ingredients and he had to give me the third degree. I had to go to Diagon Alley to get the things I needed from the Apothecary, and by the time I got back, the potion was just ruined. Now I'll have to start all over again and you won't have it in time for this month and goddammit why couldn't Snape just give me the damn wolfsbane?"
"It's okay, Hermione. I'll just take the regular potion this month and maybe next month... maybe next month things will be different." Remus' voice was soft, and Severus could barely make out what he was saying. "I do have something to discuss with you though. Would you come over here and sit for a minute?" Severus could hear footsteps leading farther away from the doorway and he muttered a spell to make the portrait invisible on his side, then another to increase his hearing ability. Years as a spy worked in his favor sometimes.
I heard him say, "I
love you"
I heard him say, "Forever"
And without
you he'd rather be dead
I felt my hand shaking
I felt my heart
breaking
'Cause I meant every word he said
He saw Remus leading an obviously distraught Hermione to a settee in front of her fireplace. She sat down and he knelt in front of her. "Hermione, over the years that I've known you, I've seen you grow a great deal; not only physically, but mentally as well. I've seen you grow from a 12-year-old who was thirsty for knowledge into a 25-year-old who is still thirsty for knowledge, but who knows more about everything than anyone else I know. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met, inside and out. I love you more than you could ever know, and it would make me the happiest man in the history of wizarding and muggle kind if you would consent to stay with me forever as my wife." He pulled a ring out of his pocket and offered it to her, waiting nervously for her answer.
She started crying again, harder than before, and was unable to speak for a moment. Then she reached down to softly cradle Remus' head in her hands, and she lowered her head to give him a soft kiss as she whispered "Yes."
Snape couldn't believe what he was seeing. The woman he secretly loved was going to marry someone else! His hands started shaking with emotion, and as Remus placed the ring on her finger, Snape felt his heart breaking inside. What he would give to be in Remus' place right now. He set the box of ingredients on the floor outside her portrait-door and bade its occupant to wait for an opportune moment to let its mistress know they were waiting there for her.
He nearly ran back down to his dungeons, frightening everyone he came in contact with on the way. No one had ever seen him looking so dark.
A few months later
He looked up from his bottle of Old Ogden's when he heard her laugh from across the room. Oh great, he thought, just what I needed tonight. I just can't escape her. He took a swig of firewhiskey from the bottle, glad for its numbing effects. He watched as the loud group made their way to a large grouping of tables in the corner and settled in. He couldn't help but notice how closely they sat together and how his arm draped around her shoulders or how her hand reached up to hold his as it rested on her shoulder, and he scowled darkly, taking another drink. At least she's happy with him. She could never be happy with an 'overgrown bat' like me. His eyes softened a bit at that thought, and a single tear fell down his pale cheek as he thought, But oh, wouldn't I like to have had the chance.
I saw him
whisper something
Then I saw you look so happy
It's a look I
won't ever forget
'Cause whatever he told you
Meant I'd never
hold you
And I meant every word he said
Across the room, Remus and Hermione were enjoying their drinks, surrounded by friends. He was surprised to see that Potter and Malfoy were there openly together, as he hadn't been aware that they'd "come out", and there were too many Weasleys to keep track of in his opinion. Albus and Minerva were there, naturally, and were drinking the others under the table. Now and then, he would hear toasts to those who couldn't be there; casualties from a war that lasted too long. Snape scowled darkly every time Black was toasted, but raised his own bottle a little for the younger Weasleys that were gone; Ginny had tried to save Percy from himself and got caught by the elder Malfoy, who had no mercy on her for being young. Then for spite, he'd turned on Percy for "allowing his sister to get that close to him." Snape cringed when they all quieted to toast Longbottom, and he took a large drink for that one. Longbottom had never been his best student, and Merlin only knew how many cauldrons he'd melted in his years at Hogwarts, but he had never wished the young man any harm. Voldemort hadn't wanted to take any chances with the prophecy being wrong, so he had Neville killed by some nameless Death Eater. Snape had tried to get there in time to save him, but was too late. Just like the other time... I was just too late. He took another long drink of the potent firewhiskey for Longbottom's memory.
He glanced back over at their table and he saw Remus lean over to whisper something in Hermione's ear and give her a kiss on the cheek. Her eyes were shining with happiness over whatever he'd said, and she leaned into him; into the warmth of his arm and rested her head on his shoulder, sighing contentedly.
Snape wished it was he who was holding her like that rather than Remus.
He woke from his drinking induced slumber, wincing at the noise reverberating through his chambers. It took a moment to comprehend what the noise was; someone was knocking on his door... loudly. He stumbled to the door, surprised to see Remus on the other side.
"Lupin. How may I ... assist you this morning?" He turned and sat in a plush chair in front of the fireplace, motioning for Remus to take the other seat. In the aftermath of defeating the Dark Lord, the two men had forged a tentative friendship that still remained, slight though it may be.
"Good morning Severus. I needed some advice about something, and since you're the only wizard at Hogwarts remotely close to my own age, I thought perhaps you would help me out." He looked a little nervous about asking for help.
Snape raised an eyebrow at the request but decided to acquiesce. "Certainly, Lupin. With what did you require advice?"
"Well, you see... today is the big day for Hermione and me, and we're supposed to write our own vows to fulfill one of her muggle family traditions, but I ... I can't think of what to write. It's a big problem and one I don't quite know how to remedy."
Snape could see the distress evident on Lupin's face. "I see. So you want me to help you write these vows?" Inwardly, Snape's heart was breaking again, as he had just committed himself to helping the man who would marry the woman he loved write the vows he would recite to her in the wedding ceremony later that day.
"Er, yes. I know it's a bit short-notice, and more than a bit unorthodox, but I've never been much of a writer and you've always been so prolific when it comes to putting thoughts on parchment. I really would appreciate any help you could give me on this."
"Give me just a few moments please." Snape requested, and Lupin nodded his agreement.
He stood from his chair and crossed to his personal desk, where he kept spare bits of parchment and quills for writing personal correspondence. He pulled out a roll of blank parchment, a quill, and a pot of ink, and began to write.
My dearest Hermione, you have filled my days with more sunshine than I ever dared to hope for. You've turned me from a lonely old man with no prospects for a useful future into a man with more love in his heart than he knows how to handle; into a man with a future filled with a wife and family; into a man who, without you would be forever burdened with the horrible curse you cured me of. I love you more than words can ever express, and I promise to love you forever as much as I do today.