Perhaps I did something wrong, something I can't remember. That might explain why I'm here.
White washed walls, plaster over concrete. Polished plank floors.
The bed I sleep in, a mere foam mat futon, inbuilt cushion, blanket sewn in like a sleeping bag, it's even got a toothless zipper on the side. It gets replaced every three days.
A tray sits next to it, two white pills on stainless steel.
This will be my only chance.
I pick up the pills and swallow one, then place the other under the mattress and crush it with my foot.
I hear them coming.
I feel less floaty then I usually do, but still not 100%.
It took so long to reach this point, realise that not taking the pills might give me a chance to escape.
But I knew I risked discovery if I didn't take them, because they'd notice I wasn't sleepy.
Then I realise I could go halfway, only take one. And today, I did just that.
I hear them coming, the woman's shoes clicking on the hard wood floors. The man in his white coat, holding a clip board. They'll come into my room, and bring me out. Here they come.
I can't remember what happens after that. Today, I'll know.
I sit on my futon, staring at the wall. I let some drool trickle down my chin. I tilt my head, and lean forward a little, like I'm about to doze off. But I don't feel as bad as I normally do.
I hear them stop outside my door, them murmur at each other. This time I can make out what their saying;
"She'll be as drowsy as always. You'd think she'd refuse to take the drugs but she's docile as a kitten. It's stopping her from doing anything. Why not drug her after the tests?"
"She'd fight us. Like she did the first day. Why do we always have to talk about this?"
"I don't know. Sometimes it feels like everything is on a three day cycle. Test, process, review."
"I know. It's so inefficient"
Then I hear them swipe a card through a scanner. I hear the noise as the scanner processes. I hear the door hiss. They walk in. She's wearing her pinstripe suit. She walks up to me.
"Hey sweetie, let's go."
I don't have a choice. I get up and stagger. She doesn't touch me. I manage to regain my balance and walk to the door. She slides in front of me, the man looms up behind me.
We walk out. I notice other door, but I can't risk turning my head to see into them.
The journey to the elevator is clearer. Normally I float, like in a dream, but now I am focused.
The floor is brown, and I notice a few burn marks.
I see the woman press the down button, and shift from foot to foot. The man sighs, hot breath rolling down my neck, making my skin creep.
After a little while the elevator doors slide open, and I'm chaperoned into a box, with cream coloured padded walls, a few faded stains.
The doors grinds shut, and it is silent, but for the huffing of the woman as she shifts irritably and the growls of the man's stomach.
Then the floor give a lurch and a humming noise kicks in, and I get an odd sensation of drifting off while taped the the ground.
The elevator stops with a lurch, then leaps up a little to get even with the floor. The doors grind open.
The woman steps out with a sigh, and the man looms behind me and gives me a gentle push on the shoulder. I shuffle forward.
The corridor is medical white, and I'm hurried along, until we get to a door that slides open.
There's a steel chair, with straps and sensors and suction cups attached to wires, and in front is a table, steel, simple, bolted to the floor. I stiffen a little. The man makes a note on a clipboard he was carrying, then gives me a gentle push. We walk into the room, my heart pounding. I get there a few seconds before him and stand staring at the chair. He come up behind me and gently manoeuvres me into it. By this time I'm shaking. The woman walks in, her feet clicking on the hard white floor. She picks up the strap and the buckle of the left armrest, and notices the shaking.
"Okay sweetie. This is just a precaution so nobody gets hurt."
She doesn't glance up, look me in the eye. If she did, she'd see the fear, and know something was up. I concentrate on the drowsy haze that slows my thoughts, and the shaking reduces a little. She pulls the strap too tight, and my hand jerks. The man stops taking notes and reaches over to check it. She growls and loosens it.
I try to keep calm as she does each strap, right arm, left leg, right leg. She stands up with a snort and brushes herself off. Then she turns and walks out of the room without even glancing at me.
The man, turns to me and begins attaching the suction cups. One on each temple, one in the middle of my forehead, then one on each side. One on each cheek, then one on my chin. He sticks them in my armpits, on my chest. He applies them with not even a twitch. A little clip with a light clamps over each of my pointing fingers. He checks my pulse, flashes a light in my eye, takes more notes. Then he leaves.
I blink slowly, and stare at the wall in front of me. Straining my hears, I can almost hear a grinding noise, coupled with a papery fizzing.
Ticker-tape, the concept floats across the sludgy surface of my mind.
Still nothing. I begin to look around the room, rolling my eyes without moving my face. A blank wall spaces out in front of me. To one side, there's the door. To the other... I strain my eyes. A reflective grey surface. Shiny. I hear a door open, and feet click on the floor. The door shuts. Chairs scrape on a floor as they sit down.
I feel watched. After a frozen second, turn my eyes back to the wall. And feel my head turn. Damn.
A murmur. No. A whisper.
I look down at the table in front of me. Three objects sit there. A cube, and sphere and a pyramid. The cube is red. The sphere, blue. The pyramid, yellow.
As I watch, the sphere starts to roll. I suddenly have a sense of foreboding. I don't want it to roll off the table.
The cube and the pyramid are next to each other. Almost touching.
I watched the sphere roll towards the pyramid, the edge, like a wedge. I can tell it'll hit the comer, and roll to the outside, go off on an angle and fall from the table.
But if it goes the other way, it'll sit between the cube and pyramid, trapped safely.
It hits the angle, and I watched it, start to tilt to the outside.
No. NO. No! NO! NO!
I picture it tilting tilting the other way, the safe way. I push at the image, and feel my nose begin to ache. A hard, dull feeling, and I can smell a metallic thing, like a metal plate in my head, is starting to be pulled outwards.
I push harder, and slowly, the sphere tilts, and rolls into the inside of the two shapes. Safe.
I let go, and swallow. I feel sore, like I repressed a massive sneeze, and my head is pounding.
The whispering is louder, but less distinct.
I feel drained. I can't sit up in the chair. The drugged fog is slipping over my brain.
I try to fight, but I'm so very tired...