Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or it's characters, as much as that pains me.

A/N: I have no idea where this came from. …Screw it.

Chapter One: Raikou, Chinsui Rock Lee! (Enter, Very Drunk Rock Lee!)

Neji couldn't believe his ears. Neither could Tenten or Lee. The kunoichi of the group spoke up.

"Uh…Gai-sensei? Is it really the best idea to train Lee in the Drunken Fist?" The man in green did not seem to find a flaw in his plan.

"Of course! This will be the ultimate test of youth!" For some reason, every time Gai said his plan would involve youth, no matter how stupid, idiotic, suicidal, humiliating or ridiculous the plan actually was, Lee would immediately loose all common sense and agree with everything said after the word youth. Neji desperately wanted to know what was so great about the stupid word. Tenten had given up and started using it to manipulate both men. It was kind of scary how it worked even on Gai.

Lee struck up the 'nice guy pose', as it had been dubbed (it had also been dubbed the 'thumb pose' by Kakashi and Neji) and grinned. The evil sparkly glinted off his teeth and Neji lunged forward, grabbing it. He didn't know why, but the sparkly bugged him to absolutely no end. Every time he saw it, he would try to grab it. Several times he had been successful and now had a box full of sparklies. He opened his hands and poked the sparkly before pocketing it. Lee, now used to it, turned back to his idol. Gai and Tenten, not used to it, stared at the Hyuuga.

"Yosh! Gai-sensei! When do we start?" Still confused about the grab-the-friggin'-sparkly-game, it took Gai a second or two to turn back to his adorable student.

"We will start now! Tenten-chan and Neji-kun shall be your sparring partners!" Having said this, Gai produced two bottles of sake and handed them to Lee.

"Remember! Drink them as fast as you can! You only have a few seconds before you get drunk! You two get ready!" Neji and Tenten fell into fighting positions as Lee downed the first bottle and Gai retreated hastily to a safe distance. Lee made a face and downed the second bottle in record time. His arms fell limp and he swayed back and forth.

"Woo…I feel woozy…" He blinked his eyes, and tried to see straight. Neji and Tenten exchanged glances before leaping forward, ready to attack. Without warning, Lee grabbed Tenten's arm and hurled her into a tree. He grabbed Neji's arm and the Hyuuga prepared for the same fate. Instead, he was cradled gently as Lee leaned over him.

"Ah, beautiful hime (princess), you do not need to fight! I will protect you!"

Whoa. Didn't see this coming.

Placing Neji down, Lee began to fight Tenten and Gai. Neji swore and stood to join the fight, only to be picked up and carried into a branch.

"My lovely hime, how I long for you! Wait for me and I shall come! Excuse me a moment." The brunette could only sit and stare as Lee thoroughly trounced their sensei and teammate without so much as breaking a sweat. Neji leapt down from the branch and once again tried to fight, but Lee appeared in front of him, on one knee. The Hyuuga's unbandaged hand was taken in Lee's.

"My exquisite Neji-hime, would you marry me?" Gai and Tenten froze and stared. No one was quite sure what to say. Neji felt his brain shut down and refuse to start up again. Finally, his head moved for him, nodding dumbly. Drunk Lee's whole face brightened (quite considerably) and he leapt up.

"Then let the meeting of our lips be a sign of our love!"

Please tell me he's not going to-yup.

Lee kissed him. Now Neji's brain turned in a five-second notice, shut down, crawled into his room and refused to come out. Neji's eyes grew huge and all the blood in his body moved to his face.

Oh my GOD I'm never going to live this down!

"Yosh! I shall now protect my ethereal hime with all my might!" As soon as Lee went back to asskicking Tenten and Gai, Neji fell to the ground, unable to think straight.

Lee…propose…kiss…hime…help…

Once Neji got moving again, he tried several times to fight Lee in his drunken stupor. They were unsuccessful. After what felt like several hours (but was only one) Lee got a hangover and fell to the ground, groaning.

"Ow…" Tenten and Gai were hiding behind a tree, panting. Neji was stuck in a tree, bound by badly aimed wires. Lee had been about to save him when the sake wore off.

Great. The one time him falling head over heels for me could be useful and he gets a frickin' hangover.

"Uh…guys? A little help would be appreciated." Lee seemed to shake off the pain and leapt up to his friend.

"Neji-san! How did you get in this predicament?"

"…You don't remember anything that happened while you were drunk?" The bowl-headed ninja cocked his head.

"No. Why?" Blushing faintly, Neji avoided looking him in the eyes.

"N-no reason."

Damn. Wait, damn? When did damn sneak in there? Bad damn! Go away!

"Neji-san, you don't seem to have fought very much. Are you feeling all right?"

Damn it, I hoped he wouldn't ask! Well, I can't lie now.

"You…you wouldn't let me fight." Lee, whom had been undoing the wires, suddenly stopped and frowned.

"I didn't? Why?" Tenten and Gai, having caught their breaths, were watching a bit smugly. They wanted to see what the great Hyuuga Neji would do in such a situation. Neji opted to glare at them briefly.

"You…I mean…I…you kept…calling me…uh…well you…"

What the Hell is wrong with me? I'm the great Hyuuga Neji! I'm a freaking ninja genius! How come I can't lie to him? It's not like he's the nicest, most sincere and honest guy I know! It's not like he visited me in the hospital everyday and brought me flowers when I was hurt! It's not like he's my best friend in the whole world! It's not like that stupid smile of his makes me feel all soft inside! It's not like that at all! …Oh Hell. I'm crushing on my best friend! On Lee! The guy called fuzzy eyebrows by a demon kid! The guy who looses it over the word youth! The guy who…who…WHO LOOKS LIKE MINI-GAI!

"Youcalledmehimeandkeptrescuingmeandproposedtomeeventhoughit'sunofficialanddoesn'tcountbecauseyouweredrunkanddidn'tknowwhatyouweredoingandeventhoughIsaidyesthatstilldoesn'tmakeitofficialIwasjustalittleconfusedthat'sallsoifyoucoulduntiemeI'dbegrateful!" There was silence as Neji began to take in every detail of his shoes. Lee, who apparently had a video camera for a brain paused, rewound, and played what Neji had said in slow motion.

"…Oh." There was a long, uncomfortable silence. Lee began untying the wire again, finally getting it loose. The two jumped down to the ground together, no one saying anything. Neji shifted his feet a bit uncomfortably, and then looked up.

"Well, I'm going home. See you tomorrow, I guess."

"Wait, Neji." The Hyuuga froze as Lee grabbed his wrist. He slowly turned back around. The setting sun cast a reddish glow on Lee's face as he went down on one knee in front of Neji.

"You said that didn't count. But this one does." Reaching into his pack, Lee pulled out a black velvet box.

"Hyuuga Neji…" He held it up a bit and opened the box to reveal an elegant silver band with a diamond engraved into the ring.

"Would you marry me?" The sound of Tenten and Gai's jaws hitting the ground was fairly loud. Neji's mouth fell open a bit and his cheeks turned bright red. No one had ever been so serious about loving him. Sure, he had a fan club. But they just loved his looks. Lee was dead serious about wanting to marry him. The Hyuuga didn't know what to say. Never before had he come across a situation even remotely close to this. He, the great Hyuuga Neji, freaking ninja genius, was at a loss of what to do. He looked into Lee's big, black eyes and came across a decision.

"…Yes. Yes I will marry you." There was dead silence for several seconds. Lee's mind tipped over. No doubt, the bushy browed boy hadn't thought Neji would actually say yes, even if he had really hoped he would. Finally, he pulled the ring from the box and slipped it on Neji's finger. Neji cocked his head and smiled a bit.

"Do I get a kiss?" That was like saying youth. Lee sprung up, cradled Neji in his arms, and kissed him passionately on the lips. Wrapping his arms around the boy, the Hyuuga vaguely wondered how his family would react. Then again, he really didn't care. He was in love. When they pulled apart, Gai struck the 'thumb pose'.

"Yosh! In honor of Neji and Lee's youth, I shall treat you all to dinner!" Tenten began to clap.

"Congratulations, you two. It certainly took you long enough." Lee blushed while Neji opted for sticking his tongue out at her. And kissing Lee again.

I'malineI'malineI'malineI'malineI'malineI'malineI'malineI'malineI'malineI'maline

Dinner went by without mishap (except Lee stood up and declared his love for Neji to the restaurant) and Neji found himself standing in front of his house. He had gone over in his head how his uncle would react to the news of his getting married and come up with a few scenarios.

Scenario One: He would stare at Neji in shock and then die from heart attack.

Scenario Two: He would stare at Neji in shock and then start screaming at him, forbidding the marriage.

Scenario Three: He would stare at Neji in shock and then disown him.

Scenario Four: He would stare at Neji in shock and then kill him.

Scenario Five: He would stare at Neji in shock and then force him to marry Hinata.

Scenario Six: He would stare at Neji in shock, then tie him down and go kill Lee.

Scenario Seven: He would stare at Neji in shock and then magical dancing squirrels would come in and carry Neji away.

Though it was unlikely, he really hoped it would be the seventh scenario. He liked squirrels. Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Neji pushed the door open and stepped out of his shoes.

"I'm home." His uncle, sitting at the table with Hinata and several members of the clan, glanced back at him briefly.

"How was your day?"

"Great. We finished a mission, did a bit of training, I got engaged, we went out for dinner and I came home."

"That's ni-what." Neji flinched and took another deep breath, squaring his shoulders and looking straight at his uncle. Said head of Hyuuga clan turned back to stare at him. Hinata looked up from her needlepoint and blinked in surprise.

"En…gaged?"

"To who?" The whole 'I'm Tough and Macho' thing wasn't working as well as he had hoped.

"Rock Lee." There was silence as his uncle digested the fact and tried to remember who Rock Lee was.

"The…fuzzy eyebrows boy?"

"…Yes." There was another bought of silence until Hinata burst into a fit of giggles. The giggles quickly evolved into hysterical laughter. Neji wasn't quite sure what she was laughing at: the fact that he was engaged to Lee, how her father had called Lee the 'fuzzy eyebrows boy', or the looks on the faces of the rest of the clan. All were pretty funny. Neji's uncle looked at Hinata, who couldn't stop laughing no matter how hard she tried. She wasn't trying very hard anyway.

"Hinata-chan…" Still laughing, the girl stood and stumbled into the next room. She was laughing so hard she was crying and she couldn't breath. She collapsed into the next room, closing the door with her foot. She was still laughing. Her father turned his lavender eyes back to Neji.

"What if I were to say you couldn't marry him?" Neji answered without missing a beat.

"I'd go to Suna and elope."

"You love him that much?"

"Yes."

"You trust him?"

"With my life."

"If you had to choose between your clan and him, who would you choose?"

"If I had to, I would choose Lee." The male's eyebrows leapt up a bit. Neji felt his chest tighten. The other clan members gasped in shock. There was a long silence between the head of the clan and Neji. The boy felt as though the whole world was judging him right then and there. Finally, Hinata's father turned back to his tea and spoke.

"The wedding may be held here." Neji blinked in surprise.

"You mean…"

"You have my blessings." Neji felt his whole face light up with glee. It must have been scary for everyone else, because it was real glee. He lunged forward and hugged his uncle around the neck.

"Thank you so much, uncle! I'll go tell Lee now!" He ran to the front door, pulling his shoes on and running off as quickly as humanly possibly. Or as ninja-ly possible, actually. Hinata's father grinned and looked into his cup. The entire clan stared at him, mouths open in shock.

"…I think I'll go get more tea."

End of Chapter One

A/N: …I had fun writing that.