We got to see how a lot of people felt during the state senate race in season five, but we didn't hear very much from Clark. This is a Clark/Lex slash story exploring Clark's feelings as he watches Lex and his father, and his feelings of being torn in two very different directions. I'm not sure where it's going to end.

"I thought I was smart
I thought I was right
I thought it better not to fight
I thought there was a virtue
in always being cool.
So when it came time to fight,
I thought 'I'll just step aside',
and that the time would prove you wrong
and that you were the fool," The Flaming Lips.

When I heard Lex was running for senator against uncle Jack, that was one thing—don't get me wrong, I love the guy, but Lex and I—well I'm not sure how I felt, except that it just didn't seem like a huge deal. When Jack dropped out and my dad jumped in, I knew I'd never be able to choose between the man I loved and the man who had raised me, taken care of me, been there to help me every time a new ability popped up.

In other words, I was screwed. At first I tried siding with my mother, trying to convince Dad it was too much stress for him to take on. I knew I couldn't tell him the truth about me, and me Lex, he didn't even know I was gay, let alone that I was sleeping with Lex Luthor. When Dad proved unshakable, I raced all the way over to the mansion, and into Lex's office/den. I found him standing at the pool tale, stetting up a game.

Lex had on this plum colored shirt, and my favorite pair of pants. These were the ones, which were tight in the front, and legs, and they made his ass look amazing. Lex almost never wore these pants, though, mainly because they were so tight, and I don't mean in the, 'oh man my favorite jeans got shrunk in the wash,' tight. The pants cut into his skin so hard that ever seam, every crease, every pocket left deep red lines all over his legs and his and stomach.

Lex said the pants made him feel numb from the waist down, which is why he never wore them for more than half an hour, not that he needed to. Lex claimed the pants possessed a magical power, the ability to get the wearer laid by anyone. Once I stopped by the mansion unannounced, and almost walked in on Lex and Lionel. Lex was bent over his desk, and Lionel was on top of him. They were practically silent and I needed to use my x-ray vision and super-hearing to be able to get the full picture.

Lionel kept on whispering, 'I love you,' and when I took another look around the room I saw that Lex's magic pants were balled up on the floor, next to his right foot.

"I take it you heard the big news," I asked, as I made my way across the room. Lex smiled, handing me a cue, which I threw to the ground. "I don't feel like playing right now, and you're wearing those pants to distract me."

Lex said, "I'm sure I have no idea what it is you're talking about," and picked up the cue. "Clark, don't over react. It's not a big deal."

"You're my boyfriend, and you basically just stepped into a boxing ring with my father, how am I supposed to react? My dad could have another heart attack. He could die. Can't your stupid political ambition wait?"

"No—if I want to be on the fast track for president, I need to start when I'm young." I watched as Lex leaned backwards, stretching his beautiful, slender body. "So," Lex asked, after we finished making love, "still mad at me?"

"Yeah, what the Hell am I supposed to do Lex? I can't pick between you and Dad. I love you Lex, but I don't know what to do here. I can't change how I feel, and no matter what I do, I'm going to lose one of you."

"If you aren't careful, Clark, there's a very good chance you'll lose both of us, and I'm still not sure what the big deal is," he told me, running his fingers through my hair. "Your father will understand, and if he doesn't you can come and live with me. It's an easy decision. I could make it in a heart beat."

"Of course you could, but I actually get along with my parents," I snapped ad him, and as soon as the words came out of my mouth, Lex's smile faded, and he looked away, like he was gonna cry. "Lex, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, and if my dad found out I was on your side, he'd—well that's why I'm so scared, I don't know what he'd do, and if I'm not on your side, you'll dump me."

"No I won't," Lex swore, wrapping his arms around my chest, and holding me as close as possible. "All I need from you is to know that you love me. Other than that I don't need you to win."

"And if you don't, what happens then?" I asked almost afraid of the answer. I turned around to face Lex, and gently kissed the sides of his face, near his eyes. Lex pulled away when I leaned in to kiss his mouth. Then he stood up and started to get dressed. "I didn't mean it like—I'm sorry." Lex tossed his shirt and magic pants into the hamper, and got out a pair of regular black trousers and, and indigo shirt.

"No, you were right. I guess I just can't lose, no matter what." He had this strange tone of voice that scared me. I wasn't sure what Lex would do if he didn't win. That worried me more than anything else. I'd seen how badly he took it when he lost a contract, or when Lionel had stolen Lexcorp out from under him. I couldn't be sure how he would react to this sort of a loss.

"Listen, Lex, maybe I should—maybe if I talk to my Dad, he'll believe me this time. You really are a good guy, Lex. I believe that about you. I love you so much, and—maybe you should be senator."

"But you don't mean what you just said, do you, Clark?" I couldn't say anything. "Well, not all of it, anyway. Look Clark, I don't need your pity, your support would be nice, but I know how important your family is to you."

"I dunno, Lex, I'm—I love you, and if it was anyone other than my dad, I'd totally support you, but it's so—you know my problem. Couldn't you do this some place else, like Metropolis?"

"No, the people there actually know what they're doing. They have as much money as me, and most of them approach an average politician's intelligence level. A few of them are even almost as smart as I am."

"So what you're saying is that my father is an poor, ignorant fool, with no idea what he is doing?" I asked knowing Lex was never going to admit to how he felt, or to what he had accidentally just said.

"Those were your words, not mine, but the fact remains that there are very few people on the planet who can match wits with me. What?" Lex asked, sitting back on the edge of the bed. I sat next to him; unable to say all of the things I really wanted to.

"Lex, please don't do this to me, to my family. I love you, and if you kill my father either by pushing him too hard or by destroying his life when you win, I don't think I could ever be friends with you again, let alone lovers.

"Lex let my father have this one. Over the next couple of years, you can show my dad just how good of a person you really, are then he'll let you have everything you want, and you can go right back to doing whatever you need to do to be president," I begged.

"If I wait a few years to prove my worth to your almighty father, I won't be able to be the youngest president in history." Then I stood up, shaking my head. As much as I loved Lex, there were just as many times when he made me hate him. Lex's perfectionism, his need to be the first, the biggest, the strongest, the best turned him into this annoying, mean bastard.

"And that's more important than my father's life, or our relationship?"

"So what you're telling me is that you love me, but only if I do exactly what you tell me to do?" Lex looked like he wanted to hit me, but he knew better than that. He knew he'd only hurt himself. "You tell me that I'm killing your father by running for the position of state senate against him, but did either of you two geniuses ever consider the possibility of his not running?"

"He said it would be worse for him if you won, to see you in that position, than if he died beating you" I blurted out, and regretted it immediately. Lex's hands, which had been balled up in tight fists, fell open, and his shoulders slumped. Lex turned his face away, and wiped his cheeks before turning back to me again.

"I think you should leave, Clark," Lex said as he passed by, bumping his shoulder into mine, and opening the door. "I think you should leave right now," he told me again. What I had said must have really hurt Lex, more than he'd ever admit, but I didn't know whether or not I should leave him alone.

The only thing I did know was that Lex really seemed to want me to go, badly, and so I did. When I got home that night, I refused to say a word to my dad, or come down for dinner.