Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

"Voldemort, let's finish this!" yelled a black haired wizard striking the pose used for all wizard duels. This was the end; he was finally facing Voldemort at the final battle between them. Harry Potter would avenge his parent's and everyone else's deaths. The magical world would be free from the dark wizard who was…

"Oh but Harry, I really don't feel like it right now!"

"What…?" Harry stared at his life-long rival in pure confusion. Since when did the evilest wizard in all of wizard and witch history not want to fight? What happened to the most feared wizard of the century!

"You heard me," the dark wizard struck a pose, his finger pointing up at the night sky. "I am not in the mood to fight you for the pathetic causes you create! I'm really a good guy deep inside," at this he hit his chest where his heart would be located. "I'm just highly misunderstood!" Little sparkling stars appeared all around the posing man who looked like he was standing in front of an audience. Harry stared in amazement.

"Misunderstood? You said it yourself; you wanted to be feared by all. You haven't even killed all the muggles who are standing around us. What the blazes is wrong with you?" The young wizard was having the hardest time. Was this some kind of trick? "Now be prepared for your second and last downfall Voldemort!" he waited for the man across from him to get into position, but Voldemort wanted to meet the muggles.

"Very nice to meet you, I'm Voldemort, most feared wizard of the entire world! And you are?" Harry's mouth fell open, why was the dark lord conversing with muggles, the people he despised, the people he killed? What was going on!

"Voldemort," Harry yelled to get the man's attention.

"Oh I'm sorry Harry, did you want me to properly introduce myself also?" the man spun around to face the fuming and confused beyond confusion teen.

"No, I was wondering when you were going to fight me. We've been waiting; the magical world has been waiting, why won't you fight me?"

"Can't you see I'm making friends? You know what they say; Keep you friends close, keep your enemies closer!" the wizard spoke in a sing song voice which made Harry want to stun him right then and there. Sadly Harry was a decent wizard and would rather give the man a chance, wait, this was Voldemort! No, correction, this was someone else in Voldemort's form. Yes, he had finally figured it out!

Currently the evil wizard was looking through a random woman's mirror and talking to her, "Do you think this robe makes me fat? I was thinking that maybe I should go buy a pink one, but that would probably clash with my whole purpose to life." He laughed, "Oh, you want to know my purpose? Well it's very simple! To rid the world of filth! No, not like that Miss, more like of your people and the wizards who love them!" He cackled, "You just fainted! Ahaha!"

"Now is the time Harry, aim a well pointed spell at his turned back and he'll never know what hit him. You'll have him gone and you can enjoy the rest of the school year in peace. Sure, Draco will still probably be horrible, but his father won't have any power left. Now's the time to…"

"You know I can hear every word you just said Harry," Voldemort swung his arm around the youth.

"Hey, get off me! We're enemies, remember?"

"Ah, but what did I say before? 'Keep your enemies closer?'" The dark wizard smiled at the boy. Surprisingly he had extremely white teeth which almost blinded Harry.

"Ouch! What kind of tooth paste do you use?"

"That is beside the point, you are my enemy as you stated, so I shall keep you as close as I can!" Okay, that just sounded wrong. What was happening to Voldemort, did he just lose his mind entirely?

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, caring for my well being!" Harry was hugged by the man. "I knew you were nice, but not that nice!"

Harry was currently being squished, "Could you not hug me? I can't breathe!"

"Oh, terribly sorry about that boy" He was released.

"Well what now? You obviously aren't in the right mind to fight…"

"I have a right mind!"

"…so you probably need to go to a therapist or something. Do they even have wizard therapists? Anyway, maybe I should go home," Harry prepared himself to disapperate back home.

"Wait!" screamed Voldemort his hand outstretched as though he could catch onto the boy's robes and pull him back.

"What now?" Harry was beyond annoyed by now.

"Can you help me?"

"With what, you need more help than I can give or will offer you."

"I am in need of a change," stated Voldemort so dramatically that Harry stared there in dumb shock.

"What kind of change are you talking about?" he asked suspiciously.

"A name change, I figured 'Voldemort' was my name before you beat me the first time so I might as well get a new name to be feared by!" there he was, striking poses again.

"You want a new name?" Harry's veins popped out of his head in anger. "What kind of name were you thinking of?"

"I was thinking of maybe Harry Potter, the boy who didn't succeed in killing the boy who lived!" Harry fell over.

"What on earth…that's my name…minus the title!" He jumped to his feet before the man came to help him up. Voldemort just pouted.

"I like that name!"

"Well what kind of names, besides mine, do you like?"

"OH! I've got it, get this: Thomas…Marvolo…Riddle," he smiled, "Huh? You think it's good?"

"That's you're birth name you idiot!" Voldemort looked crestfallen.

"Oh, so I can't used that one since I already did." He thought. "I like the name Katie…"

"Uh huh?"

"What about," he struck a pose, "Katie…Bell."

"Used already," Harry bit his tongue before he could scream at the disturbed man in front of him.

"How come everyone takes the good names?" more pouting for the dark lord. "Well what else can I change my name to?"

"You don't even have to change your name! Why on earth would you change your name in the middle of a war between good and evil when the heroines are supposed to be fighting?" Harry's clenched his hands into fists.

"I felt like it," Voldemort crossed his arms across his chest, "Is there a problem with that?"

"Yes, everyone already knows you as 'Voldemort' so if you change it now you'll confuse the whole magical race!"

"So I confused a few people, who cares?" He obviously saw no reason he couldn't change his name. "Are you not going to help me? Then I guess I can ask my wife for help if my enemies won't support me! Humph! And I thought you were such a nice person," Voldemort pulled out a cell phone. Harry's eyes popped out of his head, when did wizards use cell phones? "Yes, can you come here and offer me some assistance? I'm not getting much help otherwise. Okay see you in a bit, love you, bye." He hung up the phone and looked at…a watch?

"Wait, when did you get married, and to whom?" Harry's question was quickly answered as a woman, not girl around his age, appeared and kissed the dark wizard in front of him. That's when Harry realized who she was, "Hermione?"

"Hm, yes Harry?"

"OH MY…" Harry fainted.

LALALA

Harry opened his eyes to the faces of his dorm mates at Hogwarts, all of them looking at him strangely. "Where am I?"

"You're at Hogwarts, mate, and you were sure screaming up a storm," responded Ron his best friend as Hermione ran into the room.

"I was having a dream and…"Harry saw the bushy haired girl. "YOU MARRIED VOLDEMORT!" Everyone stared at the boy who lived.

"Must have been some dream…"

Alright, this is supposed to be a one chapter thing so I hope you liked it. My little brother and I were being weird and talking about Voldemort being strange like that because he's been playing all the Harry Potter games lately. I know it's a bit out there, but oh well.

Review and tell me what you thought of it, please!

-Maki-sama-