A/N: Music for this chapter:

Bring Me to Life, Evanescence
Face Down, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

BELLA CHAPTER ONE

I'm convinced the world is out to get me. I feel like I've been sleeping for years. Who am I and how did I get myself into this mess? Why is my life so shitty?

My name is Bella Swan. No, Bella isn't short for anything, my mother just liked the name Bella. She said she didn't want to give me the name Isabella just to call me Bella. And Swan is my maiden name. I never changed it because I was too lazy. I'm 5'5 with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes. My skin is pale and I have the nerve to live in Jacksonville, Florida. This is not the place to be pale as a ghost, the sun has no mercy.

I have lived in Jacksonville since I was 4. I'm married to the biggest asshole ever. James Hall. He's a tall skinny blonde guy with hazel eyes. Sometimes I swear his eyes have glimpses of red. I know it's not really possible, but I'm sure the devil himself created James. I fell for him in high school and we've been together since. He was that bad boy that every good girl wanted. I was the good girl that took all honors classes and didn't have a social life. It really wasn't because I didn't WANT a social life, but my Dad was a bit overprotective.

Okay, that is an understatement. My Dad, Charlie, is a cop. He does not trust boys. He told me that as long as I lived under his roof, there would be no dating. Now, I know a lot of dads say that, but my father meant it. Absolutely NO DATING. Forget school dances, football games, sleepovers…it was not going down. He would not fall for it.

Guys were scared to ask me out. Everyone knew I was the daughter of a cop. And then in my Senior year, James had the nerve to wink at me. Now, I had several crushes in high school, but I knew I intimidated the men and so I never really flirted with anyone. James though, he was not scared to approach me. He taught me all about skipping school the "right" way and sneaking out. I fell hard for James and eventually my Dad found out about him.

I was young and dumb and I put James above my Dad. As soon as I turned 18, I married James. Probably the biggest mistake of my life. Life before marriage was good. We went to parties, we hung out, we never fought. This being married shit is for the birds. All we do is argue. I can't work because James is old fashioned. I can't leave him because I have no job. It's a fucking vicious circle. I can't just run home to Daddy. I'm an adult. Besides that, I haven't apologized to him yet.

It wasn't this way in the beginning. I think that is what people don't understand. He was such a bad ass in school, but he was the sweetest guy to me until we got married. He was very in tune with his emotions, always told me how much he loved me. He bought me things, of course the money he made was illegal money but still, it's the thought that counts, right?

I used to have friends. Angela Weber, Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory. They never cared for James but they did agree that he was hot. They warned me to stay away from him, he was a drug dealer in high school. No, he doesn't sell drugs now. He's a telemarketer. I don't know how we make it on one income. I always tell him that things would be easier if I could work, I could help pay bills. He says that a woman's place is in the house and it would embarrass him if I had to work. He thinks he should be able to pull in enough income to support us both.

I clean the house inside and out every single flippin' day. And do you know that every day he has something to complain about! "Bella, why didn't you take the trash out?" or "Bella, how did you miss this?" It never ends. We never talk anymore. He never says I love you anymore. We just exist.

He's an asshole.

I hate him, but I fake the funk because what am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go? My Mother lives in Arizona, or at least, I think she does. I really wouldn't know. She just decided that she wasn't a great mother when I was 4 and left with some random dude that played baseball. Angela, Jessica and Lauren were all smart enough to go to college. I could have went. I was offered a scholarship. But I ran off to get married. Fuck My Life.

"Bella!" someone yells. Ah crap. It's him. Time to fake it til I make it.

"Hi, baby! How was your day?" I ask, clearly I make a great actress because honestly, I don't give a shit how his day was. I really didn't even want him to come home today.

"Why isn't dinner ready, Bella? I'm hungry."

"Dinner will be ready in about 5 minutes, I didn't know you'd be home early" I should be used to his fucking complaining by now but I want to slap the shit out of him.

"Well, I guess I don't have time to eat then, since you didn't listen this morning when I said I'd be home early! God, Bella, you really are one stupid bitch."

"When did you say this?" I am losing it. Crap. Must start listening better. I don't recall him every saying he'd be home early.

"When I left for work!".

Oh, I'm not losing it. This man is forever trying to talk to me in the morning. What the hell? I don't have the need to wake up at 6am and I have never been a morning person. Did you notice I didn't flinch at the phrase stupid bitch? Yeah, totally not the first time I've heard that insult. It used to upset me, but now it doesn't phase me.

"I'm sorry, James." I offer hoping it will be enough. But it's not. He goes into his mood. Pissy attitude, slamming the door a little too loud and completely ignoring me. I can take the yelling but I can not take the silence.