She loved him like he was
The last man on Earth
Gave him everything she ever had
He'd break her spirit down
Then come lovin' up to her
Give a little, then take it back
He said jump, I asked how high. I wanted him to acknowledge me, my achievements from the cases, wanted him to see what we could have. I changed everything for him. I left my home in San Francisco for him, left my friends, even left my life. Six years later I got nothing in return. On the lucky seventh year I got what I wanted, Grissom. He was my everything, but somehow I felt as his nothing.
She'd tell him about her dreams
He'd just shoot 'em down
Lord he loved to make her cry
"You're crazy for believin'
You'll ever leave the ground"
He said, "Only angels know how to fly"
Once we felt comfortable around each other and our situation, I begin to open up. The only other person, who knew about my past other than Grissom, was Nick. I let it slip once while we were drinking. I told him everything, my parents, my brother, and my experience in different foster homes. He understood, or at least he nodded and making me believe that he was listening. One night as we were lying in bed talking, I told him that my dream was to go through the FBI program, and work for them. Quietly he told me the same speech he gave me once before "the lab needs you…" It should have been my first clue as to how our relationship would work out. He never needs me, but I needed him.
And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly
No one on graveyard knew about our relationship. He thought it was best to keep it quiet. A supervisor sleeping with his employee would not go over well with the lab. So I kept with his wishes because I did not want to be judge. Still it felt wired not being able to tell Nick and Warrick that I do have a life outside of work, or Greg that the reason I cannot go out with him is because I am seeing Grissom. Biting my tongue has turned into the hardest thing in my life. Never the less, I kept going back to him wanting more, and knowing that he won't give it to me. Sometimes I wish that I was more like my mother in the fact that she was strong. She took a lot from my father, but she would still hold her own against him. Maybe I am a little like her, because I can't take anymore.
One Sunday morning
She didn't go to church
He wondered why she didn't leave
He went up to the bedroom
Found a note by the window
With the curtains blowin' in the breeze
It was my day off, watching TV was something that I never got to do. An author of some book is on some random talk show. I didn't pay attention until I heard the title of the book He's Just Not That Into You and the latest installment Be Honest- You Not Into Him Either. Both titles caught my attention, after the interview I looked it up on the internet. Amazoningly my situation was in there, and after reading it I had to come to terms with my self. It was time to walk away. I packed up my stuff making sure that there was no trace of me left. I left a note on the one place I knew he would find it, his bedroom pillow. I don't know how he reacted nor do I want to know. Since I got out of my lease, I only had one place to go. I made my short trip to the one place I knew that I would be welcomed.
And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly
Knocking slightly on the door, my mind starts to wonder, all the what ifs come rushing towards me. What seems like an eternity was probably 2 seconds. I hear his muffled voice through the door saying that he was coming. Opening the door he looks at me in surprise, "what are you doing here?" He gives me a soft smile, returning the smile I ask "Nick, can I stay with you tonight? I need someone to talk to" the simple nod lets me know that as long as I have Nick, everything will be okay.