How to life songfic, this was a spur of the moment
I was listening to the song and I suddenly thought
this would be a cool song for Mello X Matt songfic...
Depressing and kinda random...
Anyway, Mello is a drug addict and Matt is his best
friend and flatmate, then Mello becomes suicidal
and his drug problems get worse...
This was really hard to write, I have known someone
with drug problems but I hope I got this okay.
Enjoy!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Mello was late back, as usual. And also as usual
Matt was pacing round the living room, scared
out of his wits that this would be the day the Police
turn up and tell him that Mello was dead.
The blonde had been hooked on various drugs for
three years now, in his drugged up state Mello
commited any crimes, ranging from petty theft to
arson.
And Matt had finally had enough. His friend wasnt the
caring boy he used to be, his kindness and consideration
was now anger and violence.
They needed to talk.
Badly.
Step one, you say, "We need to talk"
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"
The door finally opened and the redheaded gamer ran to
open it, releived he saw it was Mello.
The blonde was shaking and his blue eyes were crazed.
"H-hey Matt" he muttered, Matt grabbed the lean, older
man by the shoulders and led him to the sofa.
"Mells, we need to talk"
Mello looked at him, then at the sofa. Matt pushed him
down and wrapped a blanket around the freezing nineteen
year old, "Its just a talk Mells, but you have a problem"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Mello smiled faintly and finally managed to speak
"I guess I know what this is about" he murmured.
Matt nodded and stared out of the window behind Mello,
not daring to meet those peircing blue eyes. Fearing
what he might see in them. Wondering if the older boy
was even listening. "You have a problem, you've changed
Mells." Mello nodded and Matt continued, "Why? Why do
you put me through this every night?"
"I dont know Matt"
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came
Matt sighed, wondering why he was bothering to try reasoning
with a drug addict. No, he thought, while he still remembered
the old Mello. There was still a chance.
Still a chance that he could make the blonde listen to him...
"Its my fault Matt"
The simple, honest statement made the gamer look at his
friend. Those imploring blue eyes gazed at him with
a strange emotion Matt had never seen in Mello.
Fear.
Fear and sadness. Matt sighed.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Because after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
"You know I'm right Mells" he said kindly, trying
to stay calm. Trying to make the older man
listen at least this once. "I need you to listen to me"
Mello nodded. "Yeah Matty, Im listening"
"I want to help you, but Mells you need to help
me help you." The redhead paused, "I cant help
you unless your willing to let me" Mello stared at him.
"Its really that bad huh?"
Matt closed his eyes, they opened again and he tried
not to cry or scream in frustration.
"Yes Mello, it is that bad" He said evenly.
Lay down a list of what is wrong
Things you told him all along
"Im listening to you Matty" Mello said, he
stared forlornly at his tattered leather pants and
clasped his hands together.
"You have hurt so many people Mells, you drove
your family, your friends away" Matt said, trying
to put it less harshly as he saw the hurt in the
mans eyes. "You've hurt complete strangers
with all the crimes you commited. The theft, the
drug and drink driving" Matt paused "You almost
killed someone Mello. Many times"
Mello nodded to show he was still listening, and Matt
continued. "You've hurt me, and worst of all Mells, your
hurting yourself more and more"
Pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
All Matt could do was sit and hope. Sit there and hope,
almost praying that Mello would hear him. Listen to him.
Almost praying that it wasnt to late to help.
And where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
Mello suddenly stood up, his voice louder than before.
"Im not hurting myself, I cant face my life when Im sober
and I cant face life without anything..." He paused, Matt
seeing the anger in Mellos eyes, fliched and tried to push
him back onto the sofa but his hand was slapped away.
"I've been depressed, I've been like this for three years Matt
and now you try to talk to me? Now? I cant live like this
anymore" Matt tried to remain calm as he stood up and faced
Mello. "Please, Mells calm down" he pleaded, "Cant you see
what your doing to yourself?" He grabbed the boys arm and
showed him what he already knew, the self-inflited cuts and
scars were just the tip of the iceberg, they both knew.
"Please Mells? You will end up killing yourself one day"
"Maybe thats what I want Matt, maybe thats what has to
happen to end this"
He will do one of two things:
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
"Please Mells?" Matt was almost crying, trying hard
to regain his calmness "You need to stop. Stop the drugs,
stop the drinking, stop the cutting Mells"
Matt gulped back the tears he couldnt let fall, there were
two options; "You can admit theres something wrong Mells,
Im not gonna be angry I just wanna help you" He paused
for breath "But if you dont face up to it then how can I
even begin to try?"
"I dont know Matty"
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
He was out again, the blonde had walked out of the flat in silence.
The difference now, he hadnt been drunk, high or stoned when he
went out and now Matt, like every other night, was pacing around the
main room...
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
Mello was late back, as usual. And also as usual
Matt was pacing round the living room, scared
out of his wits that this would be the day the Police
turn up and tell him that Mello was dead.
The blonde had been hooked on various drugs for
three years now, in his drugged up state Mello
commited any crimes, ranging from petty theft to
arson.
And Matt had finally had enough. His friend wasnt the
caring boy he used to be, his kindness and consideration
was now anger and violence.
They needed to talk.
Badly.
But Mello never came home.
At eleven in the morning, there was a knock on the door and
Matt ran to open it, and his heart stopped.
"Hes dead isnt he." It wasnt a question, it wasnt even a rhetorical
question. He knew. But the two policemen nodded anyway, and Matt found his
knees weakening and he put a hand on the wall to steady himself and
took a deep breath, "how?" he said, trying to keep his voice calm
as the cops looked at each other.
"Your Matt right?" The dark skinned officer said, Matt nodded and the
cop held out a sheet of paper. "He left you this"
Matt looked down at the envelope, read the tearstained letter in his
shaking hands and closed the door, shutting the police out and sobbed.
"Matty,
I was listening to you Matt, I swear.
I didnt want to do this and Im sorry...
I hope you can understand, you said I had a
choice. So I decided to end it... cause if I
had carried on I would have destroyed not
only myself but you as well.
I took action. To save you.
Forget me Matty.
- Love Mells.
Where did I go wrong?
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Okay, plzz reveiw but really, go easy on me its not easy writing something
like this when surrounded by eleven nutters at half four in the morning, its not
easy writing this at any time.
Im just hoping that it came out okay...
Xx Ambz