Hatred and Lust
I do not own Avatar.
Please do not ask me where this comes from. I adore Zutara, but it can't always be fluff and rainbows and sparkles with them.
Hatred and Lust
The first time they meet isn't special.
Hatred burns in his golden eyes and it's reflected in her blue ones. They stare at each other and she knows he's there to take away the last bit of hope she has to cling to in the world. He looks at her and he knows she's going to attempt to take away his last chance at redemption.
She hisses at him when he grips her forearm; does her best to summon a weak attack of snow. He dodges the pathetic excuse for bending and heats his hand until it must be nearly unbearable, close to burning and singeing the Water Tribe girl's flesh. She doesn't cry out or wince at the pain, because she knows better then to give any kind of satisfaction to the Fire Nation. He tightens his hold and leans in to ask her if she has any idea where the avatar is located.
Instead their mouths meet. It's hard and it's violent; lust and frustration and hatred and curiosity forced into one kiss. It isn't gentle, it isn't sweet; she sinks her teeth into his bottom lip painfully and he responds by forcing his tongue into her mouth. They both taste the bittersweet flavor of blood and neither is sure of whose blood it is. She doesn't care and he doesn't care and they fall back onto the snow gracelessly.
Snow stings at her bare body; her nails dig mercilessly into his, and when it's over they don't feel any better. Hate isn't alleviated and they both have tasks that require their attention.
They dress and walk away without a word.
Their second encounter goes much like the first. She's tied to a tree and he's her captor. She refuses to talk and he insists on a pointless interrogation. After an hour she doesn't give in and he can't convince her to. They've reached a stalemate and the night is long and the world is dark and cast in the silvery glow of moonlight.
He unties her and she wants to run but she can't make her body move. They're drawn to each other and they touch and there's a spark and then his tongue is in her mouth and her teeth are biting down on it. There's physical lust and emotional apathy. He doesn't like her; she doesn't like him; they're enemies first and they intend to keep it that way.
The dirt is hard and the sex is harder. When it's over she has scratches on her skin from rocks and he has bruises from battles for dominance. She can smell Zuko on her flesh and he can taste her skin. She wants to bathe and he wants to eat. Both want to forget.
She resumes her captive role and he resumes his as captor.
He comes to steal Aang for what she assumes is the fiftieth time since the young boy's discovery. He merely wants the avatar because he wants to go home; he misses familiarity and she misses peace, but it's impossible for them to walk away and each have what they want. So they have to settle for the knowledge that for the moment the world is the same and that the other is hurting just as badly as the first.
Their fighting is forgotten when their hands brush, bronze on white and they collide; mouths on mouths and hands in hair. She rips his clothes away and relishes when she can tear the fabric; he moves his fingers over her scalp and is satisfied when her braids come undone. The grass beneath them is warm and she's warm and he's hot. By the end they're both sweaty and weak; she's panting and he's shivering and he takes the opportunity to render her unconscious as she's putting on her dress. Later when she retrieves the avatar there's a sense of betrayal between them that neither expects.
There's never been rules to what they do but now it seems like there should be.
The cave is different.
His hair is grown out and his clothing is Earth Kingdom. She's the same as she's always been. They talk and she sees that he's a different person; he sees that she's the Water Tribe girl from the first day they met but the moment wouldn't be the same if she wasn't. He doesn't know what to do with her and she doesn't know what to do with him. They can only resume their normal habit.
They're not enemies any longer and the sex is almost awkward, too unfamiliar. She doesn't need to dig her nails into his shoulder blades when she comes but she does because she always has and because she still thinks he might be the old Zuko. She leaves marks of red across his skin and almost feels sorry for them afterwards. He doesn't need to bite her shoulder the moment he achieves his orgasm but he does anyways, leaves a perfect mark of his teeth in her bronze flesh that he won't quite acknowledge as possesion. When they're once again clothed she offers to heal his scar and he never receives the chance to accept.
Siding with Azula seems strange to him and it seems like typical Zuko behavior to her.
He wants to redeem himself and it almost hurts when she doesn't believe him. She wants to believe him but it's painful when she can't. They both know the old Zuko and the old Katara but neither knows the new. Good Zuko is alien to her and Distrustful Katara is foreign to him.
She approaches him his first day with their group to warn him. He listens to her threat and they make quick use of the bed. Scatter blankets and damage springs; muffle growls, gasps, and moans into skin that isn't theirs. He still can't look at her when he fucks her and she still can't look at him. He focuses on a point beyond her head and she stares up at the stone ceiling; her thighs around his waist and his hand supporting the small of her back.
It isn't satisfying and he can't remember a time when it wasn't about control and she can't remember a time when she didn't hate him.
He helps her locate her mother's killer and she allows him. For the first time they don't rush into sex and the long hours spent on Appa are spent sleeping or staring out at the scenery. She refuses to talk and all he wants to do is listen.
He knows she doesn't have evil in her and she knows he has good. She hugs him in front of the setting sun and when they're bodies touch the spark is gone. They can both feel the loss, the absent surge of electricity and they want it back. She wants to give the new him the chance and he wants to do the same.
They don't know what to do with each other when they aren't enemies any longer.
Please review if you read. I sincerely hope this wasn't too dark Zutara. There is happier Zutara saved on my computer, so don't fret!