Note: So it's my tenth time reading Gone With the Wind. I've never been brave enough to write a story from the novel basically because of how well it is written and just how hard the characters are to get down on paper. Also, there are already so many well written stories out there that I didn't need to! But I couldn't help myself this time and this story resulted.
It takes place after Rhett leaves Scarlett on the road after fleeing Atlanta. I always wondered what would happen if it had lead to disaster. This part was never supposed to be written. It was supposed to be a one part story on Rhett's return to Atlanta after the war. But Scarlett would not be silenced (imagine that!) and I couldn't help but write this part. It's down right depressing, but I hope you all enjoy it and I hope I didn't butcher the characters too badly.
Without further ado:
Part One
Scarlett O'Hara was not about to give up. Despite being lost for what seemed like days and more tired than she had ever been in her short life, she was not about to give up. Surely Rhett Butler had only left them a couple of hours ago and not days. But it was so hot and she was so very thirsty. Sweat soaked and dirty and yet, no, she would not give up. If she gave up, there'd be nothing left for the people in the back of the wagon, nothing but God and his mercy.
Steering the horse – nag really – towards the right, she whispered fervently under her breath. Praying to God that they would all get through this. She had promised Ashley to watch over Melanie and if something happened – no, no, she couldn't bear to think such thoughts. Hadn't allowed herself to think such thoughts while Melanie was in labor and certainly would not now. But Scarlett was worried and her hands fumbled with their worry. Melanie's baby hadn't cried for a very long time nor had Melanie herself made any noises. Her face was an even whiter shade than it had been upon fleeing Atlanta, her skin sweaty and moist. Why, her skin was almost clammy to the touch. She needed water, but there was none to be found. All the familiar creeks dried down to dirt and left only with brown leaves. Scarlett herself was thirsty, but knew Melanie would have to be the first of them to drink water.
And the baby. Surely the pink baby boy was hungry. But, oh! Nothing to feed him with! If only, if only she hadn't been so stubborn. Maybe Tara wasn't the place to go after all. Maybe she should have listened to Rhett and gone elsewhere.
But it was too late now. Too late for – oh! Rhett. She didn't want to think of him. But she did anyway. In the sweltering, dizzying heat there was nowhere else for her mind to go. Her anger fueled her, burned hotter than the very sun itself. What a cad! To leave her and Melanie and Wade alone. She knew he could be of some help now, despite her unwillingness to admit such a thing. If only she could rest for a moment. Just one moment and have someone else take up the reins of this old nag. For she was so very tired.
In her heated haze, she pictured Rhett. Rhett alongside her in the wagon. His strong shoulders there for her to lean against. Supporting her. Despite her hatred for him, she knew his strong arms were the ones she wanted. Next to Ellen's lap and her comforting, warm, loving face of course. And next to Tara. Yes, Rhett was third on her list and for a second or more; she forgot he had even left them. But then she blinked, colored spots appearing before her eyes and knew she was alone. Rhett was not with them.
And suddenly, neither was the nag he had stolen for her. Dropped in the dust, legs flailing into the air, breath coming just once more and then stopping; his chest unmoving. The wagon tumbled as he tumbled, tilting until Scarlett had no other option than to slide off next to him.
Wade cried as he slid forward, his little legs hitting Melanie square in the ribs. Scarlett was about to discipline the horrified child, but then noticed Melanie's lack of reaction. Let out a horrified scream and bent towards the still body. Felt for her wrist and neck, mirroring movements seen from her nursing days in the hospital, such a long time ago now. Felt nothing but drying sweat and an almost chill. Melanie was dead.
Scarlett furiously dropped her hand away from Melly's palm and neck, horrified at her discovery. She muttered a prayer, and then another and closed her eyes against this never-ending nightmare. Called out for Prissy before she opened her eyes, but there was no reply. There was a whimper from the baby, such a fragile cry. And Scarlett felt panic.
Prissy was dead. Eyes closed and body turned against the small wall of the wagon. And Scarlett let out another cry before she could stop herself. Muttered a prayer she wouldn't have been able to name if she had wanted to, her mind in such a heap. Snatched Wade from the wagon, shamed he had been back there for so long with the dead. Shamed she had not noticed until this very moment. Gingerly took the newborn from wagon as well, grabbed Wade's small hand and marched passed the upturned horse. Well, they would walk then. She was too scared to think about Melanie and Prissy now. She knew she'd have to send Pa or a neighbor back this way to provide proper burial, but her and Wade and this baby were in trouble and they needed to reach Tara as fast as their legs would carry them. She'd have to think of poor Melly and Prissy later, much later. Oh, if only she weren't so lost!
Wade didn't protest as she pulled him along at a brisk pace, his eyes wide with terror and his mouth agape. He put his faith in his mother, his strong and dependable mother who could surely get him out of wherever they were. Prissy and Melanie barely registered in his head and he didn't question their absence as him and his mother left them and the wagon behind.
Stars were appearing in the sky when Scarlett finally decided to rest. Still more lost and confused than ever, but too tired to go on much further. Wade was saturated, his brown hair matted and wet against his forehead. Scarlett herself dying for a drop of water, so dizzy without it. Melanie's baby, as wet as she, cradled in the nook of her arms, sleeping quietly, small chest rising steadily up and down. Collapsing against a tree, she pulled Wade down with her and Melanie's baby. So tired. So thirsty. So very hungry. So very lost and alone. She looked down at Ashley and Melanie's sweet little baby boy and felt pity and sympathy rise in her chest. The boy would never know his mother and she reckoned he would never know his father either. His grandfather was gone, left only to two aunts and great aunt Pitty. Oh, what a terrible thing! If she got out of this alive, she'd never let this baby leave her sight. Could never imagine leaving him to the care of India and Honey nor to the care of Aunt Pitty. Would never want that for her own child and certainly not the child of Ashley. Not if she could help it.
But could she help it? As her eyes sporadically closed, she knew her time was short and that the three of them might never reach Tara. Oh, damn that Sherman. Damn them for not leaving sooner! Damn… damn… damn Rhett. And then she cried. Cried again and again out into the night. Melanie dead? How could such a thing be possible? Her responsible for this little orphan baby and her own son? She was Scarlett O'Hara Hamilton, belle of the south! Why were these burdens placed so heavily upon her back?
Well, she couldn't take it any longer. No, she wasn't strong enough. Everyone had been wrong about her and her strength and in this dizzying state between life and death, she didn't care any longer. And so she cried. Prayed to God with incoherent words, and finally, before the sun rose she turned to Wade with eyes he had never seen before. Eyes sick with fever. Eyes so very full and close to death.
She told him how very sorry she was. She had always tried to be such a lady, like her mother, but never could. And now she would never be able to. She pleaded with Wade to forgive her and in her last moments even muttered an I love you to the confused and very young child. Melanie's newborn was silent against her chest, his chest not falling and rising so steadily any longer. There was nothing left for her and the baby but death. But Wade; certainly he still had some strength. Just keep walking, honey, she said and clutched his hand once more. Just keep walking and someone will help. And you tell them about your Aunt Pitty in Macon. Can you do that? Good. You're my strong, brave little boy and Mother does love you. Don't cry, dear. Be strong and brave and good.
And as he faded off right in front of her eyes, she saw Charles' face. Bright and boyish under the light of Twelve Oaks. But then that face was Melly's sweet one, smiling and bright and so thankful for all that Scarlett had done for her. Well, it was worthless, Scarlett thought. But no, the thought was removed instantly for Melanie knew it was not worthless, not at all. Saw Mammy and heard her mutter something about her lamb. Saw Pa and his scarlet face, his smile and bravado showcased under these hazy, yet bright lights. She saw her mother, and was able to rest her head on Ellen's lap and lay down her weary load at last. The newborn was not a newborn any longer, but a little boy with platinum hair and a jovial smile, round and full and sitting upon Melly's knee. Her sisters could be seen as well, but they brought her no joy despite her being sorry that they were there with her at all. There were a million faces. Faces she had grown up knowing, always there surrounding her. But of these faces, two were different.
Ashley's was different. He looked quite sad and drawn. He wasn't as bright as the others looked. And he was not happy to see her. She wanted to ask why he wasn't sitting with Melanie and his son, but couldn't find the words. She wanted to say sorry for failing him, for she had, but there was simply no way. Scarlett felt no spark or emotion when her eyes alighted on him and it surprised her just for a moment. And then that moment passed, for her eyes found someone else.
It was Rhett. And his face was the second different one. There was no anger when she saw him, but a gentle peace. A loving, heavenly thought passed before her but she shuddered and it was gone before being fully realized. His eyes were gentle and sincere, without a trace of mocking behind them. He patted her hair and muttered a 'sweet, sweet' before simply walking away. And she wanted nothing more than to follow his footsteps.
She tried. Tried awfully hard. Even lifted her head from Ellen's lap and pulled herself away from all the familiar faces. They were tugging her back, asking in strange whispers for her to stay. But she couldn't. She had to follow Rhett if it took every bit of strength she had ever possessed. Why was he so different from the others? She would follow him to the ends of the earth if she could, but certainly didn't know why.
And then suddenly reality jarred back and she opened her eyes swiftly against the sun. She didn't know how long she'd been resting there, but Wade was gone and she couldn't see him in the distance. The world wasn't so bright and all the familiar faces were gone. Her senses were dull however, but she used the tree trunk to stand, her weak fingers digging into the bark. Could hardly steady herself but needed to follow Rhett. He wouldn't leave her a second time, no. Not while she had a breath left in her body. Blood in her veins.
But she stumbled, unconsciously protecting the baby before she tumbled, her mouth hitting the dust of the road before she could close it. Coughing and curling into a tiny ball. Yes, she would die here, in the middle of some unknown road. Never following Rhett ever again. And felt such disappointment at such a thing. Closed her eyes against the harsh sun. Could swear she was being lifted. Could swear she could hear singing. Could swear she would never be thirsty or hungry or scared ever again.